Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS :'(

This would've been longer but I was running outta energy and wanted to post. Sorry about delay. School got in the way!
Thanks again for all your reviews they mean a lot! And I mean that. Enjoy…

Sitting in her office Jenny Shepard was alone. She felt alone. To herself she was nothing but a job, nothing but a title. She'd gotten where she was, and was proud of it. But in becoming the first female Director of an armed federal agency, she'd had to give up so much. She'd followed her five point plan to the letter, and it had gotten her where she wanted, yet it had left her no room for a life outside of work. The one time she'd had a chance to be herself, to fall in love; it'd gotten in the way: made her push away the best thing in her life. That plan had made Jenny near enough lose all her friends. The few that actually remained in her life, well, she didn't know why they did. After all she barely got the chance to speak to them anymore.

Jenny knew her father would be proud of her. Ever since she was a little girl he'd always said that she would make something of herself. And she'd proven him right. But sometimes, on days like today when all she seemed to do was sign off papers and fight with Gibbs, she wondered if it had really been worth all of the sacrifices. She remembered after her father's funeral what her mother had said to her.

The older red-head had pulled Jenny to one side, away from the rest of the crowd. She had looked in Jenny's tear filled eyes and told her: "Jenny, listen to me. I know you loved your father more than anything else in the world, but promise me that you won't sacrifice your life, your happiness just because you want to make him proud. No matter what you do with your life, just remember he'll always be there watching over you. He will always be proud of you darling, we both will."

Jenny could remember that day as if it were yesterday. She could still feel the pain, the grief, the heartache she felt that day. Still feel the wind rustling through her hair, the cold biting at her face. That day Jenny had promised her mum that she wouldn't sacrifice her happiness. But she had. Every time that she saw her mum she told her one thing: "He'll be proud of you no matter what. What's important is that you're happy.". Jenny missed the days when she'd go and see her mum once a month. She'd make sure her mum was holding up ok, tell her about what was happening in her life. She missed the days when she could call her whenever, even if it was just once a week. Jenny was lucky if she got the chance once a month now.

A text message on her phone brought the red head out of her thoughts and back into reality. . Picking up her Blackberry she looked at the ID, checking it wasn't from some senator trying it on with her. She really wasn't in the mood to politely decline. But it wasn't a Senator, far from it. It was her mother. She opened the message, surprised to hear from the woman.

Jenny, b4 u dismiss me just read!
Ally's wedding is in a wk. She's off dress shopping in 2 days n still hasn't chosen a new maid of honour. She only wants u!
She'd luv 2 c u, n so wud I. Think bout it darling.
She wants u ther n so do i! xx

Jenny smiled. Seeing her mums' message, seeing how much she cared made something in the back of her mind click. At that moment in time realisation set in. Just because she couldn't change her past, the chances of her ever being with Jethro again where near enough non-existent, that didn't mean she couldn't get the rest of her life back on track.

"Director, the Sec-Nav is on the line in MTAC." Cynthia's voice came through on the intercom interrupting the red heads thoughts and bringing her back down to earth.
"Cynthia Thank you. I'm on my way." Jenny Responded. She wiped away the few stray tears on her cheeks that she hadn't even realised she'd shed. Slowly the Director stood up, straightened her skirt and began the walk to MTAC. Whilst walking across the balcony she focused on not looking down to the bull pen. She didn't think that right at this moment she could cope with the prying eyes and idle gossip.

Walking into the darkness of the MTAC room she felt a wave of safety hit her. Here and her office seemed the only two places she felt truly safe these days, those, and home. Not her Georgetown house, but home. Home, with her mum and friends around her. That was a different kind of safety though. When she was home with her mother and friends, which was a comfortable, happy safety. Work that was an emotional safety. Work was a place where she could put on her Director Façade, and not have to worry about anything in her personal life. As she stood in front of the large screen, that façade was activated. She stood tall, shoulders back and acted the part. She hid all her emotions deep below the surface.
"Director, it's good to see you." Said the Secretary of the Navy via conference call.
"You too sir." Replied Jenny.
"Now, we'll head straight to business shall we."
"Sounds good to me."
"Now what updates do we have on Special Agent Gibbs' teams case?"
"Dr. Mallard has confirmed that death was caused by natural causes."
"Specifically…?"
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before replying: "Heart attack sir."
"Right. I'm sorry Jenny."
"It's fine sir."
"Now if that's all…"
"Actually I was wondering, I mean if it's not possible I understand." She took a deap breath. "These last few months have made me think about what I have to show for myself. Apart from my work that's not a lot. I understand this job leaves little time for a personal life and when I agreed to it I was more than willing to accept that. The thing is, I realised today that I have nobody to go home to at the end of the day, nobody to go out for a drink e=with or watch a film in with. My mum worries, I can tell, and I feel so responsible for that. It's my best friend's wedding next week, she's asked me to be maid of honour but I declined because of work. I was told today she still wants me."
"and you want to attend?"
"Yes. I mean it'd only be a day of two."
"No."
"I understand."
"No. Jenny you still had a month of sick leave left. I want you to use it. Go home; go to your friend's wedding. Go let your hair down, meat up with friends. Personally I don't care. Just take some time out. As for work, Leon Vance is perfectly capable and I know Tom Marrow will give a hand if needs be."
"Thank you sir. I really appreciate that."
"You are welcome Jenny. You deserve it. Now, go to your office. Finish of any case reports and then go. Your leave starts tomorrow."
"Thank you again sir."
"And again you are welcome." He said before the line went dead. Jenny let out a lung full of breath she didn't realise she'd been holding in. She was going home. That thought made her smile for the first time in a long time.

Returning to her office she had the renewed courage to look down on the bull pen where Gibbs now sat alone. The cornel was gone. 'Result!'. Cynthia could see the change in her boss as she returned and flashed her a smile.

Jenny sat In her chair. Relief filled her. With a smile she picked up her blackberry and diled a number she hadn't in way to long.
"Hello" said the older woman.
"Mum." Replied Jenny with a smile.
"Jenny?" replied the older red head. Voice filled with surprise.

TBC…

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