Close Encounter

It had all seemed like a good idea at the time. And now here he was... wondering how on earth he was going to get out of this without someone working out what he'd done.

Bernard was going to kill him.

Wayne walked through the crowds, marvelling at the fact that no one seemed to have any idea of who he was. Usually he had to wear a trenchcoat, glasses and a hat as a disguise, if he didn't want to be recognised as his playboy millionaire persona, and that tended to make everyone look at him a little oddly. Now, though, he was just walking through the crowd as if he were another person, no one in particular.

There was a little girl staring at him, and he blinked at her, then waved. She smiled and waved back, and skipped after her mother. No screams, no odd looks, no hero worship.

It was so liberating.

He knew exactly where he was headed. First, the foodcourt. Then up in the elevator, and without anyone trying to make a fuss of him, he would buy a present for Bernard, a Christmas present, and he'd stand in a queue to pay for it. And perhaps Bernard wouldn't kill him.

=M=

He had been sitting on the balcony fiddling with the watch, which he'd found unexpectedly in a pocket. Bernard had gone home, and he was bored. The watch was almost ten minutes slow, so he was trying to reset it to the right time... and there had been a bit of a flash, and his hand had looked... different.

A glance in the plate glass window behind him had been enough to confirm that somehow the watch was making him look like Bernard. Only a little more fiddling proved that he was able to turn it on and off at will, and that he couldn't fix Bernards crooked bow tie or rather crazy hairstyle... it just sort of stayed there, although he could almost feel them. Very odd.

And then he had the very bad idea of taking the watch for a walk.

=M=

The night was going very well. Several people had trodden on his feet, which didn't hurt him, as he was indestructible. He'd had a bad moment when he had realised his credit card wasn't HIS credit card whilst he was wearing the watch. He'd bought icecream. Someone had whistled at him when he walked past, again not in a hero worship way. He was part of the crowd, and he liked it.

He'd soon become bored of department store shopping, where he could buy anything, and wandered further down the street, following the city lights past movie theatres, towards what soon turned out to be a tiny Chinatown. It became darker and cooler, and he stood in line again to buy a paper packet of tiny, dangerously hot, deep fried cakes, full of molten custard. The other customers walked away blowing on cakes and burning their fingers and their mouths. He found the heat of the cakes quite pleasant, but pretended like the rest of the crowd that the molten custard was a startlingly dangerous surprise...

What he needed for Christmas for Bernard was a gift he couldn't purchase as Wayne, or at least couldn't purchase as easily. But that only made things even harder, since buying for Bernard was always hard to do no matter how many times it had happened. How did you treat a man to a gift he probably didn't need, or want, yet you yourself felt that he deserved? Bernard had gotten him through the crippling pain the loss of his parents had brought, he had practically become his second father yet still remained his best friend as well as brother at the same time.

How that all worked, Wayne didn't question. It just did.

The shops had less windows, and what he saw in the windows showed restaurants, or alcohol. He stepped into an amazing supermarket which held everything from vegetables he'd never seen before (fresh, dried and pickled) to cutlery and crockery he didn't know how to use. Strange wickerwork steamers and mass-produced ornate teapots, which he honestly considered buying for Bernard. Nothing seemed just right though.

Then he was outside a shop full of second-hand items, and he knew that this was where he would find something appropriate. An Indiana Jones hat stood on a stand surrounded by remarkable knives, swords, and a deadly-looking machete. A row of musical instruments, in various states of repair, hung along the wall. Violins in bright colours, a banjo covered in shell inlay, old iPods and boom boxes were arrayed in a messy pile.

A rich red lava lamp slowly bubbled, throwing shadows on the wall. It was standing on an ornate carved plinth. Now that was unusual.

He walked in the open door.

"Ah good day sir!" the man in the store greeted as he was stacking some new displays onto a shelf against the wall. "And how are you today?" he asked, smiling warmly.

"I. Um." He panicked, for a moment, forgetting who he was. So far no one had said a word to him.

"I know, it's a bit cluttered in here isn't it?" the man asked with a laugh. "Hope you find something you're after, either way."

"I have. Sort of. The lamp?"

"Ah, the lava lamp! A relic of a time long since past." he walked over to the red lamp and stared at it, smiling faintly. "A time of flowers in hair and tie dyed shirts."

"Simpler times." Wayne agreed, gazing at slowly rising red-orange spheres.

"Far simpler then they are today. Did you want it?" he asked, looking at the brunette with the crazy hair and glasses.

"I think it's the perfect gift for Ber- For. My... friend."

"Wonderful. I'll get one of them already in a box; do you have a desired colour? We have red, orange, blue, green..."

"They come in colours? What does the blue look like?" he asked without thinking.

"I've got the blue one here..." the man knelt and pulled a box out from under the display stand the lava lamp was on and pulled it out of the box. "It doesn't look much like this, but I could plug it in if you want?" he offered. "Though you gotta be careful with them. Can't shake them, for one. You'd be surprised how many people brought theirs back to me complaining about them not working right after shaking them."

"Kids do that." Wayne tilted his head as he looked at the beautiful dark blue and silver-white of the lava lamp. He determinedly did his best not to think about what the colours made him think of, and held his hand up. "Don't plug it in. I'll take that one, and one of the ones in the red as well."

"Two? Sure thing, sure thing." the man grabbed a box marked 'red' as well and carried them both to the check out.

And so Wayne left the store with a re-useable bag, two lava lamps stacked neatly inside.

Wandering down the street he decided to take the long way to the taxi stand, through the park. A row of street lamps made perfect round spots on the path, and he experimented with his shadow, walking around the streetlamp several times.

This was so liberating. He still couldn't believe it, this feeling of walking around the town without garnering any type of reaction from the people around him. All his life, even as a child, people had seen him differently to them. He was a millionaire long before he even knew what the word meant, a boy 'born' into a family of wealth and affluence. He wasn't like other kids... even if you didn't count his super powers.

To be treated as an every day man... he never thought it would happen. And yet here it was.

And that's when he really was treated like an everyman. There was a sudden weight against his back, and Wayne began to turn his head. There was something being held to his neck while someone gripped his arm. "Nice and easy, nice and easy." the man whispered harshly into his ear. "Come with me now."

Wayne knew he could take this guy. He could flex his arm and utterly destroy him, but... that would give away who he was, wouldn't it? Would it really? There wasn't really any time to think, but he fast found himself being jostled down a side street by the man whose face he hadn't even seen yet.

"You don't have to do this," Wayne finally found his voice at some point between leaving the main street. Well, perhaps if they were in enough of an out of the way place, he could take off the watch and not be found out.

The next thing to happen completely blew him away. The man who had been up against him was suddenly pulled away by such a force Wayne lost grip his bag. He watched as the man was thrown against the wall opposite by somebody he hadn't seen before. Not only because he had been preoccupied by the man trying to mug him, no, but because she was clad in black from head to toe.

Megamind.

Nobody had seen her for weeks now. After her latest escape from the asylum, people had been starting to think she was gone for good. But here she was in her skintight black outfit, her ridiculous boots and gloves. "You chose the wrong alley to come down." she snarled as the man righted himself to glare at her, before swinging a punch at her.

The woman easily side stepped the punch and grabbed his arm. "Bad mistake." she hissed before pulling him with her, and threw him over her shoulder completely. The man slammed into the ground with a loud grunt and an even louder thud but even that didn't seem enough to deter him since he grabbed at her foot and pulled. Megamind yelped as she began to fall, but turned like a cat, grabbed at the floor and swung her boot. It connected with his head, made a satisfying sound, and he fell momentarily still.

"Really!" Megamind said as she got to her feet so fast, if Wayne had blinked he would have missed it. She stared down at the man as if he was something she'd wipe off her boot, and pulled out the weapon Wayne had expected her to use from the very start. Her De-Gun. The man was just beginning to stir she aimed it at him and pulled the trigger. For but a moment the darkness of the alley way vanished, replaced by a bright flash of blue, before it returned as the light vanished back into her gun.

"Some people..." she bent down and picked up the blue cube, oblivious to a card knocked free of the man during their fight, and held the cube up to the light. Megamind grinned triumphantly, tossed the tiny object into the air, caught it again, and pocketed it. "Now, do hold your praise and adulation, I know what you just experienced must... must be..."

Megamind was looking at him, finally, and the way her eyes were widening and how she lost her trail of thought easily told him she recognized him. Moments later he realised she was seeing him as... Bernard.

"I... I... Um. Thankyou. That. You..." he stuttered incoherently.

She appeared to be over the shock, since she re-holstered her weapon. "Huh. Never thought I'd save you, of all people." she said, watching him carefully like a stray cat not knowing whether it should stay or go.

There's someone you would think even more unlikely to save. "How... That was incredible. How can I ever repay you?"

Megamind hadn't expected that kind of response. She tilted her head slightly, the goggles on top of her head reflecting the light of the near by street lamp. "Incredible?" she asked, since it appeared that was the word she was fixating on. "We-well. Of course it was, I'm Megamind. Do I do anything not incredible?" she asked with a small smile.

He picked up his bag again, looking inside quickly, unsure if the lamps had survived their shock. The boxes showed no outside signs of damage. Then he looked up at her again. "It was rather stupid of me, I guess."

"Just a little." Megamind said honestly. "You got to be careful when in this part of town. They catch wind of money and they'll be all over you." she said as she set her hands on her hips. "You know you should feel proud!" she suddenly announced, grinning brightly.

Her smiles were always so gorgeous. "Why?"

"This was my first good deed done!" she said brightly. "My first ever!"

Tonight was a night of doing things differently. And it wasn't a huge distance... "It deserves rewarding then" he said, and before he could stop himself, he leaned forward, and kissed her.

Megamind hadn't anticipated this. The man, Bernard, had suddenly moved closer to her than anyone had ever been before. Then his lips were on hers, and she felt her whole body stiffen for a fraction of a second. He wasn't questioning her? He wasn't running for help? He wasn't calling the police? He was... she melted quickly, and Wayne felt the woman's arms suddenly lock around his neck as she kissed him in return as enthusiastically as she could.

It was her first, but how would he know that?

When the kiss finally ended, he grinned at her, feeling foolish and goofy. "The good girl gets the kiss." he whispered.

She stared at him, eyes wide. Megamind swallowed, dryly, before she finally found her voice from where it had hidden in the back of her throat. "What a perk." she purred.

"It's the best perk." he confided in her. "Doesn't get old in a hurry."

"I'm going to have to save you again, then." she whispered as she trailed a leather-clad finger down his jaw. "Since that is something I can most definitely get used to."

His heartbeat was remarkably solid in his own ears, and he blinked at her stupidly. What was it about this woman which always seemed to make him loose all common sense? And all chance at sounding clever. Then her nose was touching his and she kissed him this time, a fluttery, short thing before she pulled back from him. Her hands ran down his shoulders, arms, and for a brief moment they were holding hands.

"Be sure to pass on my regards to you know who." she whispered as she began backing into the darkness again. "And I'll hope to see you again..."

"Wait-"

But it was too late. He stepped after her but she was already gone, having seemingly melted into the darkness.

It took him hours to actually go home.

=M=

The night had been very fruitful for Megamind, and she was sure if she smiled any brighter her cheeks would be sore in the morning. Not only had she had a successful first good deed of the night, but she'd gotten a kiss out of the deal. Two kisses, at that, from Bernard of all people! It had been like strapping rockets to her feet since the woman had practically floated the rest of the night away, breaking up gang violence, and even stopping a robbery at a Seven Eleven.

So here she was, standing across the street from the Police Headquarters. In her hand was a bag, full of small blue glowing cubes. Attached to each one was a sticky note detailing what crimes they'd committed, and where she had picked them up. Then there was the main note, telling the police to only re-hydrate the cubes once they were behind bars less they want a bunch of criminals suddenly appearing inside their walls.

In another bag was their weapons, guns and the like, heavy in her hands.

"So here I am. Willingly approaching the police." she said aloud to herself. "You can do this Megamind. Remember. Confidence makes the woman."

She did it quickly. She ran across the street on her high heeled boots and the guard who was behind the front desk beyond the glass sliding doors glanced up when he noticed her movements. It was obvious he was going for a phone, but she could care less. The second the doors slid open she threw the two bags in, and they slid across the polished floor.

"Special delivery from yours truly!" she called before doing an about face, shot something into the air, and vanished in seconds thanks to a handy grappling hook gun she had created for emergencies like that. Using the darkness and the shadows like the professional she was, Megamind vanished into the shadows and was no where near the head quarters by the time more cops arrived.

Work done for the night, Megamind headed home.

When she walked into the lair, she sighed a heavy sigh of accomplishment as she pulled her night viewing goggles off of her eyes and rested them on her forehead whilst her Cat Bots came rushing towards her in greeting. Of course they were programmed to be cat like but they were an affectionate bunch when Mommy came home.

"MOWG! Mowg? Brrrrrrrwooowg?"

"Hello my wittle babies~!" Megamind cooed as some of them rubbed up against her affectionately as she continued walking across the lair's large open planned floor. "Did you all behave tonight?" she asked.

"Prrrrrrr."

"Some of them have." Minion appeared, moving remarkably quietly for a robot, his mechanical tail flicking backwards and forwards.

"Only some?" she asked as she was now holding the pink glowing one to her chest, petting its glowing head. It purred mechanically in pleasure whilst others glared with jealousy.

"SOMEone found the remote for the submarine."

"Oh dear." Megamind sighed, shaking her head.

"I don't think we'll be able to rescue the submarine, and the remote is now in pieces."

"Well it was made for evil intent any way," Megamind released her hold on the Cat Bot and it floated away to join the others, who still glared.

"It would have been useful. It's now taken out escape plans 5 A through F, and severely limited the possibilities for escape plans 4 D and H."

She walked over to her faithful companion and pressed her hands against the dome of his head and bent over, pressing a sudden kiss to the glass. "You worry too much, Minion. I can re-create the submarine, better than the last, you'll see." Megamind petted the dome before standing up again, stretching her back as she did.

"I'm a little worried someone will find the submarine."

"Again. You worry too much." she said. "But if you're THAT worried fine, I'll find a way to destroy what's left."

"What if Metro Man finds out about it?"

She moved her hand like a talking puppet, mimicking him, as she walked away towards the kitchen area of the lair. "Aren't you even going to ask me how my first night of heroism went, Minion? I'm disappointed in you."

"I'm sorry Mistress. How did your first night of non-villainy go?"

"It went SPECTACULAR!" Megamind responded vigorously as she opened the fridge to pull out a bottle of drink. "I stopped a few muggings, a gang about to cause some really bad trouble and even stopped a hold up! It was... it was amazing!" but then she sighed heavenly as she leaned against the bench top, toying with the neck of the bottle slowly. "And something else happened... something... truly, truly amazing..."

"Oh yes Mistress?"

"Mmm-hmmmm..." she purred, still playing with the neck of the bottle in a way that might cause some people to blush.

Minion proffered a bottle opener. "So what was truly, truly amazing?"

Megamind got a wickedly happy smile on her face as her beautiful green eyes looked down at him, yet seemingly unable to see the bottle opener. "The first person I saved...? It was Bernard." she started before sighing again, and a lavender blush flushed its way across her cheeks and nose. "And he thanked me in a very, very, very... amazing way."

"He... thanked you." The fish's eyes blinked carefully. "He. But. He what?"

She made a little squeal noise. "He kissed me!"

"He kissed you?"

Megamind squealed again. "Twice!"

"But. I thought..."

"Thought what?" she asked, finally reaching for the bottle opener.

"I thought Bernard was gay." I thought Bernard was taken...

"Well he obviously isn't," Megamind replied with a scoff as she worked the bottle lid off. "The way he was kissing me, Minion? Not gay at all." she said before hopping up onto the counter, crossing her legs as she did.

"I was pretty sure..." Minion paced around in several confused circles, like a tiger at the zoo, tail flicking in an even more agitated manner, his fish body always turning in its bowl so that he could continue looking at his mistress. "Are you sure it was Bernard, Mistress?"

"Of course it was him. Same hair, same glasses, same outfit. It was him, Minion." she said before taking a swig of her drink, then pausing. "Wait. Why are you asking that?"

"Because I'm sure he is already taken." Minion turned and sat, tail thumping on the ground.

She stared at him for a moment, before a look slowly crossed her face. That proud, happy, content look she had worn since walking in slowly drained to be replaced with one of hurt, worry, and insecurity. "...he's..." Megamind said slowly, quietly, before looking down at the bottle in her hand. "B-but he..." she said before lifting her hands and pressed them to her lips, remembering the kiss in the alley way. It had felt so... so wonderful.

She'd never been kissed before; she thought she never would and how he'd started it like that? Why would he? How could he if he was taken and...

Oh no... Minion thought. Here we go... "Look, Mistress, I must be wrong. I must have... must have made a mistake..." he backpedalled furiously.

She set the bottle down on the counter and jumped off of it nimbly, face still flushed pale blue as her mind ran over the scenario in her head over and over again, barely even hearing Minion's words as she walked away. "He said the good girl gets the kiss why would he say that if he didn't mean it?" she mumbled as she started heading up the spiral stairs to the upper half of the lair, where she slept and kept her vast wardrobe.

Minion chased after Megamind, claws of his suit tapping on the floor. "Perhaps he's... he's turned over a new leaf as well, Mistress? Perhaps your... your incredible intellect has..."

She stopped at the top of the stairs and looked over her shoulder at him. "...could it be possible?" Megamind asked quietly. The reasoning seemed simple enough but yet... this horrible little seed Minion had buried in her mind had already taken root and was growing a sapling. Had he just done it to play with her? To mess with her? He was Wayne's right hand man, so she shouldn't be that surprised if he had taken the opportunity to toy with her like this.

"Why else would he kiss you? Mistress, were you able to tell whether he was serious? If it was... if it was a real kiss..." Minion faltered, and looked on in horror as Megamind seemed to go even more downhill. Darn. Made it worse.

"How can a kiss not be real?" Megamind asked shakily. "He kissed me."

"What I mean is. You would have known if he didn't mean it. You would have been able to tell."

"Would I? How would I, Minion? Tell me that." she was getting angry now, defensive, lashing out like a cat suddenly stuck with no way out. "How many guys have kissed me, Minion? I'll tell you. One. One, and that was tonight. How am I supposed to tell if a guy means it or not?" Megamind let out a frustrated noise before rushing away from him, and the stairs, and hurried to her room and vanished inside.

Thankfully without slamming the door like a teenager. Seemed she was maturing, at least a little. I completely stuffed that up. Minion sat outside the door, head up, then turned and curled up head on forelimbs, back to the door, to wait. There's nothing I can say which will make that any better.

He could remember a time, long ago, when Megamind (back then answering to a name she no longer recognized as her own) had been hopeful of getting a kiss one day. After all, she had been a little girl once, a little girl who hoped one day she would find her 'one true love' like they did in the movies. A boy who would like her for who she was, even if she was blue and bald.

When their teacher had told them the wonders of Valentines Day, and that it came with the prospect of presents from your secret admirer, Minion had watched her face light up in the classroom. It had been one of the rare times she had smiled whilst attending that horrible school.

He'd been too young to realise what was going to happen next.

The day came, and Megamind had cleaned up especially hard that morning, cleaning her face and finding the cleanest orange jumpsuit she had on hand. She had even cleaned her white sneakers until they gleamed. "I want to look nice for him!" she had told the fish enthusiastically in their cell as they waited to be taken to the school.

To add further torment, the teacher even had them make mail boxes that morning so they had a place for their presents to be placed. Megamind worked hard, actually sticking to the rules of design for once, and had made a lavender coloured box with lace around it. Proudly she had stuck it to the front of her desk, and had waited.

And waited.

And waited.

She had watched the other little girls in her class recieve cards, and other such things. Even some of the boys got some, from the girls. Wayne especially was showered upon with gifts of chocolate and cards. Megamind checked her box, every now and then, in case somebody had left her something when she wasn't looking.

It remained empty for the entirety of the day.

But she hadn't cried, despite her heart being broken. She didn't cry when she left the school with an empty, miserable box. She didn't cry when she returned to her cell, setting the box down in the corner of the cell as if it had done something naughty.

"Boys are gross any way." she had whispered to her fish that night, while she held his ball tightly to her chest when she was going to sleep. "Except you, Minion. You're not gross..."

No, he was just a complete screw up...

To be continued