My Massive AN: Thanks so much for the reviews, guys. The next chapter won't come until Halloween, or maybe November 1st. It's my birthday on October 30th. I'm going to be 39: scarrrry, folks, mwahahahaha!—and I am busy as heck. On a lighter note, I'm helping host my daughter's "Spooktacular Ball" tomorrow evening: I figured I better post now (Who's ready for cranky Derek?) or I might not be able to...Hmmm...that ball gave me a story idea, I think!...

Chapter 3

An entirely different Penelope strode into Gretchen's Cafe a week later. She had a beaming grin on her face and a bounce in her step, so full of sass, it was coming out of every pore. It made Derek smile to see her like that again.

Good. Helping Lynch seemed to be worthwhile, then...little maggot that he was. He was a pain in Derek's ass—he'd texted him so many times in the past few days, asking for advice, it made Derek cringe whenever his message light came on.

"I take it you had a good day?" he asked, standing when she reached the table. He moved the chair out for her.

She took the seat; he moved her in and kissed the top of her head as she answered, "I did, thank you."

"Everything better with Lynch?" he questioned point blank. He didn't feel like pussyfooting around the issue; he felt he had a stake in the outcome.

She'd just taken a bite of a guacamole covered chip. She chewed, swallowed, and then answered, "Oh, yes. He did the sweetest thing, actually."

"Really?"

"Yes," she said with a smile. "Derek…he brought me flowers for no reason at all. Just for me because I am me."

"Oh," he said nonchalantly, but mentally pumped his fist and yelled Yes!

"Pretty girls should get pretty flowers; no occasion necessary." She beamed at Derek. "That's what he said. Can you believe it?"

"Sounds good," he responded. Lynch took good notes; he'd said those exact words to him.

Her smile damped a bit. "You know…it is kind of weird, though."

Derek paused for a second, his gut twinging with that Oh, shit! feeling he got when something was about to hit the fan. "How's that?"

"Well," she said, getting that little crease between her brows like when she was thinking hard, "Kevin had never done that before. I wonder why now?"

It was his turn to swallow his chip. It went down kind of hard and traveled slow in his esophagus while he thought of a good answer. He shrugged. "Maybe he read something."

"In Gamer's Paradise?" She laughed. "That magazine does not give girlfriend tips, angelfish."

"TV?"

"He doesn't watch TV. He plays games," she answered, and then gave him a shy smile. "It's weird, huh?"

"Nah," he answered, and then grinned, finally thinking of the answer he should've said first. "Maybe he just woke up and suddenly realized what a lucky SOB he was."

This time, Penelope shrugged. "Nah. That's not him." She sighed heavily. "I don't know."

"Don't over think it, baby."

"You're right." Her smile was kind of bittersweet and sad. "It's probably just a one time thing… I'm not the kind of girl who inspires guys to do whimsical, romantic things."

"Sweetheart, yes, you—"

"No, D," she interrupted softly. "I'm not. It's fine. I don't expect that kind of stuff."

"Angel girl…"

She chuckled, surprising him. "Derek, I'm fine, really. Stop talking about this, please, honey?"

She squeezed his hand and gave him a pleading look with her beautiful, deep blue eyes.

He hesitated, and then cupped her cheek, running his thumb over her cheekbone. "Your wish is my command."

She grinned back at him. "Then I wish you'd get me another order of guacamole."

He smiled and flagged the waitress down.

"Agent Morgan, what brings you here to my humble abode?"

Derek walked into Kevin's office again. "Lynch, we need to talk."

Kevin gave him a wary look. "Okaaaaaay…"

"I take it things went well with Penelope?" Derek asked. He sat down, sitting on something that had a squishy feel. He moved his butt over and looked down. He'd sat on a Hostess Snowball…the marshmallow and cake was now stuck on his ass.

That's what he deserved for not looking down when he sat down. Hell, he deserved it for being such a chump and going back to Lynch's office in the first place. What the hell was he doing to himself?

"Um…if this is because I didn't say thank you, you told me not to. Remember?"

Derek was trying to remove as much of the coconut and marshmallow from his pants as he could. "Hell, Lynch, this has…shit…do you have a napkin?"

Kevin gave him a blank look in return.

Derek sighed. Of course he didn't—not in this sty. He stood back up. "This has nothing to do with me wanting thanks."

"Good," Kevin said with a sly grin. "I didn't take you as the type to do extortion!"

Derek growled and picked off the last piece of chocolate cake and goo, ignoring Lynch's comment. When he finally glanced up, Kevin was giving him a curious stare.

"Why are you here, then?" he asked, and then added a sarcastic grin. "Not that I don't appreciate your company."

"Are flowers the only thing you are going to do?" Derek snapped, leveling his eyes at Lynch. He didn't want to play with this man; he wanted answers.

"Yes," he said, like the answer was obvious. "She's happy now."

"That's good."

"Boy, is it ever," Kevin replied, giving Derek another sly look, complete with eyebrow wiggle. "If you know what I mean…"

Derek had to fight gagging. God, what did Penelope see in this ass? "If you want her to stay happy, you need to keep up the good works."

"Okay. Kevin turned to his keyboard. "I'll buy her flowers again when she seems sad." He apparently thought one bunch of flowers bought him absolution for his multitude of bad boyfriend sins. Suddenly he had all the answers. He didn't need to listen to Derek's advice anymore, so he dismissed him.

That was a very stupid move.

Derek reached for the chair and turned it, slamming his hands on the arm rests, causing Kevin to jump.

"Listen, you schmuck," he growled. "Don't you ever turn your back on me when it comes to the well being of my best friend."

Kevin paled and sunk farther into his chair. "I…I…"

"You have years of bad decisions and gifts you need to atone for. Years, dammit!" Derek snarled. "You may never make up for it."

"I…I…"

"One fucking bunch of flowers is not going to cut it!"

With that, Derek stood back up, giving the chair a strong shove, rolling it into Kevin's desk with a thunk.

"O-Okay," Kevin stammered. "What do I do next?"

Derek sighed. He hadn't meant to get so carried away, but this whole thing left a bad taste in his mouth. This man did not deserve Penelope, but she wanted him...and Derek wanted to give Penelope whatever her heart desired. That meant Lynch needed to listen so Morgan could to be done with this and get back to his own life.

Brushing whatever crap remained on the chair onto the floor, Derek took a seat and leveled his eyes at Kevin. "That's better. Now, here's what you do…"