AN: Thanks so much for the reviews! Now I need one sweet, sexy M rated chapter/epilogue, and another story will be history...

Chapter 11

Now she'd done it.

She'd finally come out and asked him if he loved her, and her stomach was in a knot, waiting for his answer. She hoped and prayed she wasn't wrong—that he felt for her what she thought he did...something she'd sadly dismissed as a dream that would never come true so many years ago. She hoped, too, that he didn't play dumb and say something like, "Of course I love you. We're best buddies. By the way, hot, size two model Andrea in accounting gave me her number the other day…" If he did that in an attempt to preserve her feelings, it would kill her.

He needed to be straight with her, once and for all. Did he love her, or didn't he?

She was also scared to death of the answer either way. This changed everything between them. Nothing would be the same either way. Either he would know she pined for him and wished he loved her like she loved him, or they would be together forever, happily ever after. Both were new, both were frightening…but only one was exhilarating, too.

Sheltering her heart even as she opened it, she waited for his answer. They'd danced around this issue enough; she could woman up and take it, no matter what the response.

It was only seconds, but it felt like years passed before he answered.

"Those words…" he began, and then paused, like the right words were hard to say. "The sonnet…I wrote it like I would write it...if it was me writing it...which it was...me writing it, that is." He paused, like he was holding his breath. "Did that make any sense?"

"Some...I think," she said, not really understanding completely. For someone who'd just written a gorgeous love sonnet, he was barely speaking English now! She wanted to allow him time to say what he needed to say.

"I wrote it, P," he said firmly this time. "I couldn't have written it like Lynch, even if I'd wanted to. We are the most opposite men that ever existed."

She chuckled, thinking that was true. "Yeah."

"In fact," he added, his eyes shining with warmth and slight humor, "the only thing we have in common is that we both love you."

That was true, too. She'd always known he loved her…but to what extent? She was still unsure.

The confusion and sadness she felt in her heart must've shown outwardly, because his expression mirrored how she felt. He leaned back against his desk and took a deep breath. "Baby...I'm sorry."

Penelope felt her heart twist painfully in her chest. Oh, God...she'd been wrong.

"For what?" she choked out, trying to smile but failing miserably.

Derek winced as he watched her carefully. "I never meant to hurt you, baby. I heard you talking…and I thought you deserved better." He laughed shortly. "No, I knew you deserved better—I think you deserve the best, actually."

"I know, D," she answered, swallowing hard to fight back tears.

"I set out to help my best friend by helping her boyfriend get a clue." He looked up at her with a quirky grin. "That was not an easy thing, considering how I feel about Kevin most days."

She smiled this time, despite herself. "I imagine not."

He smiled back, although his grin was far less sure of himself. "The more I thought about you, about the things you deserved and needed, the more it became a necessity to me. I started thinking about you all the time." He met her gaze again, and the raw need she saw there was palpable. "I couldn't stop thinking about you."

Her heart stopped aching. It stopped beating. It was like the moment was frozen in time. She stared at him, digesting his words, thinking about what he was saying. That hopeful feeling was rising and tingling along her nerves.

"It was accidental," he said quickly, fervently, like he had to say the words or they'd explode from him. "I didn't anticipate in the course of helping Lynch, I would want you so much myself."

She gasped and could feel her heart expanding throughout her body, filling her with hopeful love. It was exactly what she'd wanted to hear…what she'd dreamed of hearing from the moment she'd stood in her office and read those letters.

He stood and faced her, holding her hands in his. "Baby, when I wrote that sonnet, it was the easiest thing in the world. Every word I wrote was true. Every damn word. It came from me, not from him." He kissed her hands and murmured, "Never from him."

She could feel the tears rising in her eyes, and she knew she must've been glowing with how she felt. Usually a woman of many words, all she could choke out was, "I know."

He held her face in his hands. "Sweetheart, I've have always wanted to be with you, but I kept myself away because I thought I wasn't the right man—not the one you wanted." He smiled at her, a warm smile full of love and promise that bared his soul. "Now I know I was wrong."

She couldn't say anything; she just stood there as he brushed away the tears that coursed down her cheeks.

"I still don't deserve you...I'm nowhere near good enough for you," he whispered huskily, "but I'm the only man for you. No one is ever going to love you as much as I do."

"Oh, Derek…"

Any other words were swallowed by his lips as he lowered his head. He took her mouth with sure skill, tempered by tender ardor and passion. She closed her eyes, letting the warmth wash over her and fill her a heavenly feeling of pleasure.

Trying to memorize this moment, their first kiss, she made a conscious effort to concentrate on the sensations. She could feel the soft smoothness of his firm lips playing with hers, the tickling brush of his light beard, the give of the fabric of his cotton shirt under her fingertips.

They traded kisses, soft pecks, testing each other's flavor, feeling, and response. She arched herself against him, gripping his shirt in her hands, not realizing how much she wanted more of him, more of this...

She heard Derek give a low moan of satisfaction. He tilted her head in his hands, kissing her from a different angle. When the slick heat of his tongue parted her lips and drove into her mouth in an all-consuming need to possess her, all conscious thought left. The warmth she'd felt before turned to a blaze, as if accelerant had been carelessly tossed on a flame.

All too soon, the kiss needed to end. She understood—they were at work, after all!—but she didn't have to like it.

"Oh, baby," he murmured as they broke the kiss, folding her in his arms and holding her so tightly, it was hard to breathe. "It isn't humanly possible to love more than I love you."

"I love you, too," she mumbled against his chest.

"Can you breathe?"

"Not really."

He chuckled and released her a little. "Better?"

"Mmm hmm," she said, and then asked, "Why didn't you do this years ago?"

He gave her a sheepish look. "Despite the fact that I'm an idiot?"

She giggled and nodded.

"Afraid. I didn't want to lose what we had. I was afraid to put myself out there," he answered honestly. "I'll admit it; I lose my balls when it comes to you—you're that important to me."

She hugged him tight this time. "You are to me, too."

"I am so sorry for not doing that years ago—"

"And messing in my love life," she added.

"Definitely," he interjected quickly, and then tipped her chin up to look at him. "Do you forgive me?"

"I do," she said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Do you forgive me for being a chicken, too? I was just as bad."

"Yes, my feathered beauty," he teased, tapping the tip of her nose.

A knock on the door had them turning. JJ opened the door. "We caught a case. Conference room in five."

Derek smiled at her, she smiled back at him, and he looped his arm around her shoulder as they exited his office. It was exactly like they'd done it for years—like it was meant to be.

And she realized she'd been a little bit wrong...things weren't so different between them after all. That love had always been there.