Disclaimer: They are not mine… I can only dream. Thanks to my Beta who has to keep up with my weird ideas when having a discussion.

The Blue Mirror

I touch it with the tip of my fears that sink in the mercury of the crystal. I cross and leave it behind me there is no turning back, am too late. I got trapped in a blue mirror… My god what am I to do… I am losing my mind… I got trapped… I got merged in to another time…

Every time he looked at his reflection on the eyes of his lovers, he saw desire, attraction, or even love. Yet, every time he dare to look into Ianto's he always saw emptiness. At first, the fact that any of them could get up and leave as soon they were finish did not seem to bother him, it was somehow comfortable, as he had finally found someone that wanted no more than some hours of fun. After giving up on his attempts to find something else on Ianto's eyes, he again got comfortable with doing it without having to look at him. The night of the Lisa incident, he reflected on his way of treating Ianto, Jack had felt hurt, betrayed, cheated… And had more than one reason to have killed Ianto there and then, but when he had asked the young man for an explanation, the answer had hit him on his face, he had never cared, Ianto had become invisible in the eyes of everyone, even his.

When Lisa had attack them, and the hub had gone in to lockdown, he saw for the first time love in Ianto's eyes, but not for him, but for her.

"I am not giving up on her… I love her… Can you understand that Jack… Haven't you ever love anyone?"

"You need to figured out on what side you are here… Cuz' if you do not know you are not going to make it out of this alive." –The anger had overcome him, and it had only built in more while seeing all the love in Ianto's eyes, the determination to go far and beyond if it meant to save her. Ianto had made his choice even if it had meant his doom.

He woke up to find him laying on the floor, defend less and even though every brain cell screamed at him that, he should leave him, he deserved it after all, and still he reached down and tried to help him. He knew, she had to die and not only on the name of humanity but because it was stealing Ianto's mind. She was no longer Lisa but he could not see that, and he would never destroy her, Jack decided then.

"You brought this down on us… You hide her… You hid yourself from us. Now is time for you to stand as part of this team… The girl you love is gone; your loyalty is to us now."

"You can order me to do that." –And for the second time, he got his eyes up-close he saw determination. That human was standing up to him, because of her.

"You execute her or I will execute you both." -The anger of his betrayal had blurred his eyes again, he could not think, that was not the Ianto he had hold in his arms a night ago. This human was someone new, someone that was not afraid of him.

"I won't do it… You can make me… You like to think you are a hero, but you are the biggest monster of all." –His eyes were alive with anger, with pain, and most of all love. The mask was off, and Jack had in front of him the real Ianto for once, one that wore his feeling on top of his skin, one that was not afraid of betraying the world in the name of love.

"I am giving you ten minutes… Then we are coming in." –His voice broke, he knew all his techniques were not working with him and decided to play his last card, even if he meant to lose him.

After calling an emergency meeting, and being the first to afford that he would not retcon Ianto, that UNIT would not be involved, and that the team would be the only ones to know how things had really went down. He and Owen stayed and cleaned, Ianto had stayed where they had left him, not moving, his back against the wall, his face buried on his chest. He had longstop crying, his body was still shaking. Owen asked jack to reconsider using retcon on him, but Jack stuck to it. It was too dangerous, Ianto could lost his mind and then it would have been a crime, he was after all part of the team.

Owen took the last body to the incinerator, and left them alone. Jack leaned in to the nearest wall and took a long look of his last prey. He felt so miserable, victory had a bitter taste knowing he had destroy Ianto too. Knowing that probably last night would had been their last time together, and then remember all this time Ianto had been using him to keep Lisa, for once Captain Jack had been the laugh of someone. There he had been thinking so much of himself, taking pity on poor quiet coffee boy. When it had been all the way around coffee boy had been playing him. Every time they had lay together, Ianto had been thinking of her. Every time he had manage to lower Ianto defenses and make him try something new in reality Ianto had only tried so he could distract him, to keep him occupied, so he would not go and put his nose in Ianto's business.

Victory for Captain Jack Harkness felt like a failure. He punched the wall making Ianto jump. He looked back again and sad blue eyes stared at him, no longer accusing him. He saw him then, as a vulnerable child, sitting on the dirt. His expensive suit now cover in blood, and he felt pity, real pity the one that makes it hard to breath because there is a knot in your throat. That one, that makes your heart shrink in agony; the same one that makes you reach out to the person beside you and hug them because they are hurting not caring if it is your enemy. He slide down the wall next to Ianto, and hugged him.

"Aren't you gonna kill me now?" –He said it in a soft voice, almost childlike. Reminding Jack how young he really was.

"Come on let's get you clean up…" –Jack said attempting to get up.

"But you said…" –No longer trying to look him on his eyes.

"I believe the time to defied my authority had past… Now get up Ianto, we have to clean you up…" –he pulled the now weightless young man, and his hearth shrunk again when he saw a fat tear dropped down from Ianto's eyes.

After dropping Owen in his flat and telling the others that it was all right if any of them want it days off. They all said no, he dragged Ianto in to his flat, and was really amazed that it was in fact the first time he had set foot on it, he had never cared to ask why the other was so comfortable to do it where ever Jack had decided. Tidy, but a small place, the only difference between his and Toshiko was that hers looked more lived in. This one was sterile, kind of like an open house. He made sure Ianto took a shower or more likely he gave him one, again dragged him to bed and gave him two aspirins. Ianto had looked at the pills for a second, and Jack knew he had wished they were retcon.

"I will not retcon you…" –His voice sounded so serious like disappointed father. –"And just in case you have some lying around and are considering on taking them, I will decide against if I were you, because I will be back and if you do not remember I will make you remember every single thing you have done." –Nodding Ianto took the pills and closed his eyes. Jack left after he had fall asleep.

Jack came back the next day, and the day after. Trying to hide his concern behind his mask of tough leader. He made sure Ianto was eating, that he was safe and when he could no longer deal with the silence, he decided to put Toshiko in charge, maybe a less hostile intervention was needed. The first day Toshiko came back just like him, empty handed. After four weeks and when he almost had lost, all hope of Ianto coming back. He walked in to the hub, wearing his mask of course, however this time Jack knew it would take a lot of work to take it off again, he would make sure of it. This time he would care, even if Ianto did not.

He make sure to give Ianto time to recover, to heal himself, or more like he knew that it was him that needed time to recover from Ianto's betrayal, so he decided to watch from a distance. Things did not change, except from the fact t that everyone tried to involve Ianto more in to their activities, Gwen tried her best to look as the mother hen, but Jack noticed that Ianto would always pushed her away, kindly but any way pushed. Owen tried to be more kind with his comments and usual teasing, but you can only expect so much. Ianto would look at him as if seeing an alien. Toshiko was the only one that seemed to make progress.

As someone else had said before, time heals, it may leave scars in the process, but they serve as a testimony of the consequences of our acts. Then we have two options cover them up or wear them proud. After months Jack had actually giving up on his chasing Ianto, he knew his actions had not actually been all that charming, that when Ianto had been in need of rescuing, he had acted more like the mad king than instead of offering the support that a lover would give. Yes, he had betrayed him, but he also had betrayed the team and everybody else had forgiven him already. In more than one occasion Ianto had proven himself worthy of staying, still Ianto's proposition took him by surprise. He had said yes, he had even come up with a time limit but only to see how far was Ianto really willing to go. He found himself sitting on his office waiting for the young man, his hands sweating as his blood pressure was rising god knows why. Afraid that maybe he was being played by Ianto again, terrified that that other would not show up. He did show up, and on time another of his amazing qualities, but the fear instead of going away it turn in to a challenge, it kept on mocking Jack saying that it was not possible that Ianto would have chosen him, that he would stab him on the back once more.

He made sure Ianto came, chanting his name over and over, and to Jack's disappointment, his eyes reminded closed. He repeated the action pleasure fading in to pain more than once; no sweet words were said as he had wanted to be sure that Lisa were no longer there, that Ianto was there for him and him only. They ended it up in the bunker, or to be more precise in the cold floor near the bunker. Jack laying flat on the floor. Ianto resting his head against Jack's shoulder. His body still going through the aftershocks of his last orgasm, his hair damp, and his skin sticky. The cold floor was starting to do his worst, Jack made an attempt to get up, that cause Ianto to look up, looking directly in to those blue eyes for the first time in months Jack saw a glimpse of hope in them. Jack knew then he had won and yet he was lost in so many ways.

Authors Note: On All About Us, I made two small chapters about Cyberwoman, but they were told from Ianto's point of view, this one was being told from Jack's. Although they may be similar in some cases, I did my best to stay true and did not look at them for reference. Having that said, thank you so much for reading, reviews are cherish and as always more than welcome.