DISCLAIMER: If I owned -man Kanda would be chasing after Allen because he loved Allen secretly (since SPOILER he is now chasing after Allen, I must spruce up my disclaimer! END SPOILER), Cross wouldn't be dead, Lenalee would be smart, Lavi wouldn't be out of commission, Fiddler and Tryde wouldn't exist, and Wisely and JasDevi would show up more often in the manga =D Oh, and Alma wouldn't be dead either (RIP Alma 3)
Reverse the Curse – Chapter 1 – More Menacing Than Mugen
"WHAT THE FUCK?" A loud voice shouted out angrily as any birds outside the man's window decided that was now as a good a time as ever to 'get the fuck out of here before Kanda go berserk', as did any stray Finders/Order members who just happened to be passing by his in-general door area at the time.
Needless to say they buzzed off too, and if Kanda really cared, he would have said they were probably faster than the birds.
"This is fucking ridiculous!" The man growled angrily into his reflection as he decided to, to quote himself, 'pull a moyashi' and use his left fist (it looks more sturdy) to smash the mirror in front of him, and the smirk on his face as the mirror shattered and fell onto the floor of his room clearly stated that he was pleased with the fact his left fist may as well be a fucking rock. Granted, this returned his face into a terrible scowl again as it reminded him that his new 'rock fist' was not supposed to there, and he just secretly wanted his precious blood bracelets back. Though by now, he would've conjured Mugen and kept it activated, however he really didn't want to try activating his new "innocence" at the moment. He already looked like some old fart thanks to his now WHITE hair, and in all honestly, he reallydidn't want to see how his hair would react to invoked innocence, because if the bean's hair spiked at the back like a duck's ass when active, the thought of Kanda's own locks doing the same made the pale man blanch a bit as he sat on his bed. The thought honestly was ridiculous, and there was no way in hell Kanda would not only have white hair, but a duck-butt too.
He'd honestly shoot himself the day that happened, no questions needed nor asked-
"Yuu-chan~~! I know you're in there~~" The sing-song voice of a certain veryannoying rabbit reached the ears of a certain pissed off samurai, making the pretty boy twitch in anticipation for the idiot to just leave as he began to calmly pick up the pieces of shattered mirror on the floor.
Sighing in irritation, Kanda couldn't help but muse that it was ironic that the one time he chose to have something that wasn't just his lotus or his bed in his room, he destroys it within a week of obtaining it. Honestly, it was truly ironic.
So ironic that in fact, Kanda vowed to never stray from his bare necessity rule ever again, because before anyone would know it, paintings mirrors and whatever the fuck else he had in there meaninglessly would end up like the mirror's corpse he was cleaning up with a scowl on his lightly sun-kissed features.
Which somehow reminded him, he lost his hair-tie. Ch', great.
"If you don't open up now, I'll just come on in~~!" The idiot teased/threatened as Kanda scowled, as he had momentarily forgot the idiot's presence, before his scowl multiplied to that of the level he'd face the bean with, or worse, the level he'd face his own reflection with when he got caught in his thoughts about the bean and Lenalee- 'Now's not the time to be thinking about that!'
Either way, there was no way in hell that idiot could see him like this, it would be the end of him!
"Fuck off right now or I'll shove Mugen so far down your throat it'll come out of your ass!" The snowy-haired male said with a scowl as he stood, disregarding the half-organised pile of mirror-shards as his left hand twitched in anticipation to go through with his threat, "Ooh~! Ouch! No need to get all gory, Yuu-chan, I've got a visual brain, remember?" The rabbit cooed in response as Kanda twitched, really tempted to activate his innocence just to shut that stupid melodramatic gay-but-not-gay rabbit up, good gods, and the idiot wondered why Kanda avoided him like the plague!
"Does it look like I give a fuck, asshole? Now shut up and FUCK OFF!" Kanda yelled as he felt that familiar hum of innocence surround him, before a white cowl suddenly appeared out of no where and engulfed the room, making the man's currently silver eyes bulge out wide in shock as a mask made itself comfortable on his face, the silver glinting the the full light of the room as suddenly about ten lines of what Kanda identified as the brat's 'Crowned Belt' or whatever he called it, and he could do nothing but watch in a detached fascination as the belts seemed to act on his desire and tangle securely all around the front half of his small room, effectively locking his door very firmly in place as the light light from activation finally subsided and the room returned to darkness, followed by the mask drifting and sitting comfortable near the man's collar bone.
To say the samurai was shocked was an understatement – the man was currently very livid as he heard Lavi babble something without importance, before hearing the handle rattle pathetically against the white binds, before Lavi began to thump his shoulder against the door.
It was on the fifth 'thump' that Kanda came back to his senses, smirking as he simply sat down carefully into a meditative position, smirking as he heard the whimpers of pain and defeat coming from that stupid rabbit on the other side of the door.
If he were anyone else, he would've downright laughed his ass off, but this is Kanda Yuu we're talking about and he doesn't even smile, so a smirk is his equivalent of 'ROFLMAO', to use a popular internet term that no -Man character would be aware of as there was no internet in the 19th century.
"Yuu-chan~! I think there's something wrong with your door~~!" Lavi whined as he thumped against it again, though he was no match for the webbed strength of the crowned strips of fabric that Kanda felt no need to call by name, as he found naming attacks, techniques and what-not very stupid, and childish. He hated how he had to name his attacks and demand innocence activation verbally when his innocence had simply been an equipment type, honestly, he felt like a fucking dumb-ass, but now that he could verbalise his commands in his head, he felt a lot better.
It almost, almost, made him thankful that he switched with that moyashi over anyone else, as he didn't have to verbalise anything, however that thought shot his good mood to hell as he just remembered who's innocence was currently keeping that damned rabbit out, and it sureashellwasn'this.
"INNOCENCE DE-FUCKING-ACTIVATE RIGHT NOW!" Kanda shouted out in an almost panicked voice as he shot back up, only to step on cowl and do the one thing Kanda was sure he had never done in his whole life – something so embarrassing that only a certain time-controlling did it on common occasion, something so bad that not even that usagi did it often.
That's right, the great and proud Kanda Yuu of the Black Order trippedon the infuriating white blanket known as part of Crowned Clown... and he fell flat on his face while doing so.
"-!" Kanda growled out a string-line of curses that would put the most stereotypical sailor to shame as Lavi stood on the other side of his door with an almost disturbed expression on his face.
"Maybe I should come back later..." Lavi said to himself as he heard Kanda quite yelled a 'FUCK OFF' in agreement, making the usagi happily dart off in the direction of the cafeteria in the hunt for the sure-to-be-eating-by-now exorcist named Allen Walker.
As fun as Yuu-chan was, Lavi wanted to keep his head so it was time to go after the next best thing! Moyashi-chan!
Little did he know that his 'next best thing' was in no better mood... or that Allen wasn't in the cafeteria either.
~~!~~
"Wh- Whaaaat?" Allen said in a quiet voice, more raspy and out-of-breath from the earlier scream as he held Mugen in his hands, before it seemed to sense Allen deactivating it with his mind and sloshed back into two blood bracelets, which made Allen feel a bit better... emphasis on only abit.
"Ok... let's get this straight, my curse is gone, my hair and eyes are back to normal, and I have a certain blade which a certain BaKanda will flip when he finds out I have said certain blade." Allen said as he practically hyperventilated in front of the mirror, only to reel back in shock as the newly-revealed face of Neah appeared in place of his reflection, smiling at him almost innocently as he nodded in agreement, making Allen twitch a bit in annoyance.
'Damn,Iwashopinghewasgonetoo' The boy thought bitterly as he just flipped Neah off, ignoring the offending chuckle the Noah made as the now-brunette walked into his 'bedroom' of his little luxurious version of hell. Sure, he had a grand bed, a private bathroom, and a private study all in the same suite (being a Critical Break sure had it's kicks, he may be too young to be called a General but he still got some of the privileges), but he also has a notorious 'stalker' (as Kanda oh-so-affectionately called Link) who guarded him at all time, however as he at least got the room to himself between 11pm and 7am, Link had gone to the 'liberty' of having seals and cameras placed in almost every inch of the god-forsaken room, the only place the cameras not being was the bathroom, because Allen literally flipped a table when Link suggested it. He was notshowering in that room with a camera watching him! He was a guy, guys had needs, and Allen would be twice as damned if Link actually had the audacity to think that Allen would lethim put cameras in the bathroom to see Allen release said needs.
Luckily for Allen, Link found Allen's curt explanation of 'If you ever want me to shower again, please don't bug the bathroom, please' - and the fact that Link was a bit of a hygiene freak helped – good enough and ended up not bugging the bathroom. Instead, he just doubled the magic seals in the room.
It was a tad draining to be in there as a result, but Allen was thankful for the privacy any day – he could deal with the energy-sucking magical restraints in order to relieve himself...
'Ok,letsnotdwellonthesubjectofmasturbation,andfocusontheproblemathandlike,ohIdon'tknow,thefactyouhaveKanda'sinnocencedanglingfromyourwristsandhe'llprobablykillusasaresult?Yes,let'snotforgetthat' The voice inside Allen's head said sarcastically (This was Allen's subconscious-conscious-whatever speaking, not Neah) as the brunette just sighed and reactivated his 'innocence', Mugen reforming with ease as he swung it around a little bit with a light pout.
Granted he was pretty damned useless with a sword, but it could've been worse, he could've gotten switched with Lenalee and accidentally fly himself through a brick wall, giving himself a concussion from the impact and a minor coma from the shock...
...Or he'd just get nauseous, like the time when the Level 4 practically destroyed the old HQ and Lenalee's crystal innocence activated and she flew up so fast he felt like he was going to be sick. He was no Komui, who even got sea sick, but fast flying movements were just not for him.
Even the thought made him a tad nauseous.
"Focus, Allen, focus!" The boy scolded himself as he just stared at the sword almost impassively. Why he wasn't freaking out was beyond him, but he just felt... well, exhausted was the best term... which reminded him-
Tap. Tap. Tap. "Walker, I'm coming in."
...How on earth was he going to explain this?
~~!~~
"Crown belt, retract..." Kanda growled in frustration as the belt didn't seem to want to move, making him twitch lightly as he just shifted on the bed, using the innocence blanket as a real blanket as he curled up in the foetal position he liked to take when resting (Yes, he curled up, so shoot him), "Isn't innocence supposed to listen to my commands? Ch'" Kanda growled lightly as the white tresses fanned around him almost mockingly, making him scowl somewhat as he sighed in defeat. Ok, so maybe he didn't really want the only thing keeping out that rabbit and anyone else who wanted to enter his room out, deactivated, and he was quite 'happy' (well as happy as Kanda could really get in his situation, anyway) with the fact that he got a free blanket on top of it. If he wanted to, he could just fall asleep right then and there, and pretend it was all a bad dream.
Of course, his... 'trip' painfully taught him that no, this wasn't a really lucid dream, because you don't feel pain in your dreams and fuckhis head still hurt like a bitch.
How long had it been? Twenty minutes? And where was his fucking lotus, mother fucker fucking hell- 'It'sprobablyinthatstupidsprout'sroom,stalkinghimaroundwiththepromiseofdeath,sinceweswitchedcursesandall...Thenagain,howamIsupposedtoknowifthatshortygotmypreciousMugen?Ormyfuckingcurse?MaybeI'llgettoseehisrealhairandeyecolournow-No,no,stopthinkinglikethat,don'twanttogetside-trackedthinkingaboutwhatIcanneverhave,gottagetafuckinggriponmythoughtsandFUCKINGHELLCROWNEDBELTDEACTIVATEBECAUSEALLTHISWHITEISGIVINGMEAMIGRAINE!'
To say Kanda was surprised when the belts retracted with ease was an understatement as Kanda just curled up more in the blanket-thing and glared at the door with his usual scowl. Ok, so this blanket was quite warm and winter was quite cold, so what? Still, at least he got part of the innocence to deactivate, though he'd figure out the rest later, the blanket was kind of lulling him to sleep-
BANGBANGBANGBANGBA- Click. "Oh, the door was unlocked... Man I feel stupid~"
Mother fucker fucking fuck, not him! 'Crownedbelt,re-fucking-activateandlockhimout,willyou?' Kanda thought with a string-line of curses going through his head as the belts attacked, only he was too late as the rabbit sneaked into the room quickly, though it waspretty satisfying to see him weakly struggling against the door, considering crowned belt kind of wrapped him against it like a hideous Christmas present Kanda would feel cursed to receive.
"What the fuck do you want, stupid fucking rabbit?" Kanda growled from under the warmth of the cowl, not bothering to uncurl from his position as Lavi was the only other person who know of his... sleeping habit. Ergo, Lavi barged into his room while Kanda was asleep on a mission one time and then spent the rest of the mission telling him how 'utterly cute' he was and 'if you were a girl, you'd earn a definite strike', to quote the idiot redhead staring at the cowl in shock.
Was that fucker too stupid to answer his question?
"M- Moyashi-chan? I didn't know you were in here-" "Are you fucking retarded, I'm the only one in here you dolt." Kanda growled as he finally sat up, the cowl around him comfortably as the long white tresses seemed to glow in the small light of the room. It was 7am after all, and the sun was getting in through the window, however that didn't help deter Lavi's shock at all.
No, the thing that did was the fact that sitting angrily in front of him was Kanda, jerk of the world who constantly teased and bugged Allen for having 'old man hair', yes, that Kanda, was sitting in front of his trapped form, with long, beautiful, shining whitehair.
Naturally, Lavi began to laugh his ass off.
"OHMIGOD YOU HAVE WHITE HAIR! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-MMPH!" The damned rabbit began to laugh as Kanda released him from the belt's trap... only to use the belt to silent him by shoving it unceremoniously in his mouth.
Smirking, the white-haired samurai then stood, and warily dodging and face-floors encouraged by the cowl of the innocence he bore, before he stood in front of Lavi, poising his clawed left hand in front of Lavi's fact verymenacingly, and it didn't help that now that he had five 'blades', two were pointed at Lavi's eyes, and the rest at his throat – needless to say, Lavi shut up as the belt was removed, not wanting to piss off the samurai who unusually had way too many weapons at his arsenal today.
"Listen up, and listen good, you stupid fucking rabbit, since you walked in on me and found me in this... state, you're going to be the one to help me out of it. I have a feeling a certain annoying little brat has my Mugen so you're going to be a good little rabbit and bring that moyashi to me with a minimal amount of people seeing him, got that?" Kanda said with an evil smirk on his face as Lavi audibly gulped, "If you don't do this within fifteen minutes, I'll make sure to gouge your eyes out with the moyashi's own precious innocence, and I promise a verypainful death, got it?" "Y- Yes Y- Kanda, g- got it-!"
"Good" Smirking, Kanda completely released Lavi, before turning and slipping lightly on the blanket, making him curse angrily as he sat back on the safety of his bed, scowling at the rabbit as he just stood there petrified, "Now hurry the fuck up and get the damned beansprout, I want my fucking Mugen back!"
"A- Aye aye, cap'n!" Lavi said in a bad imitation of his usual stupid mood, before he ran out of the room like lightning, heading down the familiar halls in a familiar direction with a wide grin on his face.
However, little did Kanda know, it was not the moyashi of whom Lavi was looking for this time. No, he was looking for something much... worse than a cute little moyashi with a dangerous sword~!