DISCLAIMER: If I owned -man, this story would happen, because if the zombie arc could, there's nothing stopping this crazy story from coming to life in DGM! ...That said, we don't see a white-haired clumsy Kanda Yuu running around with adorable sleeping patterns or a chocolate-eyed Allen Walker, so I'd say that no, I don't own DGM =[
Reverse the Curse – Chapter 2 – Have a Nice Trip, Yuu?
"LENALEE! YUU HAS WHITE HAIR AND HE TRIPPED OVER! THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!" A loud hysterical yell shocked the cafeteria into silence as Lavi ran into the room in a blind panic, only to be kick by two pairs of feet across the hall into one of the many tables the people at the order ate at.
Luckily it was early and only two finders and one scientist had to go get refills for their cereals and toast.
"You fool! What the hell is wrong with you now?" An angry growl from a certain really short old man came from beside an annoyed female exorcist named Lenalee, both unhappy with Lavi's violently disruptive behaviour. It made them both agree that they're rather face said samurai right now than this idiot, because while Kanda was menacing and frightening, at least he was silent, and after having to listen to Komui's sister-complexed rant earlier this morning, Lenalee was not in a very good mood.
Yes, she loved her brother to bits, but damn, one more clingy morning and the girl was going to snap- that being said, a certain hyperventilating smart dumb-ass was nothelping. Stressing, PMSing or whatever, today Lenalee Lee was not to be messed with, and for Lavi, there was going to be hell to pay- "Wait, did you just say Kanda has whitehair?"
Anger dissipated, Lenalee was now just damn-right curious.
"Uh-huh! Uh-huh! He's even got crowned clown and Allen's scar and HE'S SCARY WITH THAT ARM! I don't know what happened but I just walked in to find him all snuggled up in crowned clown looking like a cute little baby-" "Lavi." "-and then I thought Moyashi-chan was in there, but Kanda popped out and his hair was white like freaking snow and part of me just wanted to hug him-" "Lavi." "-right, and then he activated Crowned Clown, and I was all like 'WTF dude' and he attacked me and made me go look for Moyashi-chan and- Ohshit." "...Lavi?"
Suddenly, Lavi blanched as he stood up almost shakily, before asking in an uncharacteristically nervous voice, "Uhm, what's the time?" He asked as the girl just rolled her eyes, before pointing to the clock above Jerry's station, only to make him blanch even further, "E- E- Eight AM already...? Ohshitohshitohshitohshit-!"
"'Oh shit' is correct, Lavi," A gentle voice hummed from behind the redhead as the man let out a girly shriek, gaining a few disturbed looks as Lavi spun around to face Allen, who was smiling at him innocently, though Lavi felt himself deflate in relief as he saw Allen's white hair and scar. Granted, the scar looks a bit... fake today, but Lavi overlooked that as he simply just hugged Allen tightly, blatantly ignoring the slightly-wide soft brown eyes that looked at him like he was some kind of lunatic... which he was, and Lavi wouldn't deny it, "L- Lavi?"
"Ohmigod I had the scariest nightmare! Yuu-chan's hair went white and he had your innocence and he tried to kill me and hishairwaswhite and he had your scar and thank god your normal because that means it was all a dream and why are you so stiff, Moyashi-chan?" "It's Allen, and did you just say Kanda's hair was white?" Allen growled lightly as Lavi finally released him, before nodding furiously like a child determined to prove their point, making Allen sigh as he just ran a gloved hand through his hair, only to stop dead in his tracks as he noticed Lavi eyed the deep red bracelet dangling from the boy's wrist.
Where had he seen that before...?
"Oh wow, look at the time, hahaha, I have to go now, I'm suddenly not hungry anymore, bye!" The beansprout said in a very fake voice as he stepped back a bit, before dashing out of the cafeteria at record speed, Link chasing behind him yelling the boy's last name in annoyance, wanting him to slow down.
However, Lavi was off in Lala land right now as he processed his morning through his head; 'Ok,KandahasCrownedClownandwhitehair,andthensuddenlyAllen'snothungryandIknow hiseyesaresilver,notbrown,plushisscarlookedprettyfake,asifitwereamake-upjob,nottomentionthosebracelets...c'mon,c'mon-' "OH SHIT! Allen and Yuu-chan switched innocences! WE HAVE TO GET KOMUI NOW!"
~~!~~
Meanwhile on the other side of the order, angrily trapped in his own room by his pride, Kanda was pacing back and forth, holding the cowl of the damned innocence up like a dress, trying to figure out how the hell to deactivate it. God damnit, he was new to this thought-command stuff, not to mention he was a Crystal type, not a Parasitic, and as far as Kanda was concerned, they were completely different, meaning he just couldn't figure out how to deactivate the cloak as he paced around waiting for that redheaded idiot, his hair up in a high white ponytail as he did so (He ended up finding his hair-tie under his bed after looking for it as Lavi was clearly not coming back for a while – probably chatting with the moyashi and mocking him).
"It's been a whole fucking hour, how long does retrieving that beansprout take-?" Tap. Tap. Tap. "BaKanda, we need to talk!" ...Talk about good timing.
"No shit! It's about damn time that rabbit got you!" Kanda growled angrily as he stormed over to the door, momentarily forgetting the cowl was like stepping on ice with ice-skates and not knowing how to skate – lethal "Fucking shit to all mother fucking hells not again!" Kanda cursed angrily as he shakily pulled himself into a standing stance, his tail bone throbbing as he could practically hear the beansprout's confusion, making him scowl as he decided to deal with this the menacing and lazy way.
Smirking, the man just carefully walked back to his bed and relaxed on it, before pointing at the door, "Belt, grab the sprout and drag him in," Kanda saidi n a bored tone, too used to stating his commands aloud to care as the belt, following his order, shot out and opened the door enough to grab the moyashi and pull him into the room, before closing and 'locking' the door in place by webbing all over the wall.
Not in any mood to care, Kanda turned his attention to the beansprout, who's disguise looked so fake and badly done he wanted to throw him out of his window, but anger aside, they really did need to talk, and shocking after a minute of silent, Kanda was the first to open his mouth.
"If you haven't fucking noticed, we're in a bit of a dilemma..." He growled out as Allen simply weaved around the belt (he owned the damn thing, he was used to it), before sitting in front of Kanda with a smile, conjuring Mugen with an ease that made the Japanese man slightly jealous as the boy placed the innocence between the two, and even though Kanda knew Mugen was his, not the sprouts, right now he couldn't really say it was his, considering the stigmata were on the sprout's arms, not his.
How annoying.
"Yes, I've noticed, and care to tell me why you have a bunch of flowers in your room?" Allen asked with a smile as Kanda gave him an 'are you fucking crazy?' look, before recognition settled on his face and scowled, leaning against the wall as the blanket wrapped itself around him comfortably. He didn't know why, but he liked the blanket when not tripping over it, though he reallywanted it gone right now, "Kanda?" "They're illusions." "...Huh?"
"Ugh..." Kanda sighed as he looking almost forlornly at the table where he would usually see his lotus, and wouldn't be surprised if Allen was currently seeing it in place of himself, "I said they're illusions, hallucinations, whatever. And don't give me that dumb look, I knowyou and that Noah brat saw my memories, so you should know that I am cursed." "...Ah, yes, almost forgot 'bout that, sorry..." "Don't apologise, fucking moron, and just tell me how to deactivate this thing."
"Huuuuh?" Ok, now this 'Huh' was a lot more condescending than the first and Kanda ended up giving Allen his sharpest glare in response as the brat just shrugged it off as if it weren't there, before he smirked, making Kanda's eyes narrow even more if possible, "Oh, don't tell me you don't know how to deactivate Crowned Clown" "..." "What was that~?"
"Oh for fucks sakes! I said YES! I can't fucking de-fucking-activate it and it's pissing me off! Hurry and spill, fucking baka moyashi!" Kanda growled as Allen leapt to the bait angrily, "It's ALLEN! A-L-L-E-N! How many times do I have to TELL you that?"
"Ch', a moyashi will always be a moyashi to me," Kanda replied with a smirk, folding his arms smugly, before Allen suddenly got a devious smirk on his face as he lifted up Mugen, "What?"
"Now tell me Kanda, do you have any idea of what it's like to be attacked with your 'precious Mugen'~?" "You wouldn't-!" Kanda said with a curse on the tip of his tongue as Allen's smirk grew to that of 'Black Allen' (Lavi's words, not his) as the white-haired male slowly inched away from the crazed idiot holding his precious sword.
"Oh, but Kanda~ I would~"
"FUCK-!"
"KEECHOO ICHOOGEEN!"
"THAT'S KAICHU ICHIGEN YOU FUCKING MORON-! FUCK!"
BANG! BANG! CRASH! SMASH! BANG!
...Needless to say, Komui probably wouldn't be very pleased...
~~!~~
"Now this is definitely interesting..." Sluuuurp, "I almost can't tell them apart-"
"I'll fucking destroy you old man!" "Pfft! Old man? You're the one with the 'natural' white hair now, pretty boy!" "What did you call me?" Crash. Bang. Thunk.
"...Almost." Komui said with a sigh as he slurped his coffee again, watching Kanda and Allen rolling over the floor of his office in a mess of white, thanks the the fact Kanda had yet to deactivate Crowned Clown. Komui had no idea why he didn't, because even Komui wasn't blind to the fact Kanda kept tripping on it left and right like an ice-skater who couldn't skate for shit, but was trying to anyway.
Komui idly wondered how sore Kanda's tail bone was by now as he amusedly watched his precious little sister pull the old married couple apart and sit in-between them - Komui could help but noticed his beautiful baby sister look like she was glowing from the reflected light of Kanda and Allen's white hair (which Komui found out just before the reinstated argument that Allen had bleached his hair to keep up pretences).
However now that all was calm, Komui needed an explanation, and he had a feeling Leverier would chuck a fit and probably have poor Link stalk Kanda too to make sure the two don't suddenly share the 14th or some crazy shit like that. The broken mirror in Kanda's room would not help the white-haired samurai's argument, either.
But as funny as a raging samurai due to being stalked would be, that would be for later, for now he simply relaxed against his desk in the mess he called his new office (Reever was not impressed of the fact it only took him oneweekto have his new office match the state of his oldoffice, but that was history) and looked at the three exorcists on the couch with a small smile.
And for once it didn't have promises of experiments and Komurins behind it... yet.
"Ok, now that you two have stopped whining like a pair of little kids, I want you two to recap your last mission, especially the part concerning JasDevi," Komui said as he adjusted his glasses with his index finger, before sipping the drink again and happily ignoring the distinct sound of Timothy running past his door and away in another to-be-failed attempt at escaping his homework, "After all, they can create anythingthey want if they just put their minds to it, and messing with your heads couldn't be too hard~"
Ignoring the set of insulted glares from the two white-heads from the cough, Komui just sipped his coffee with a smile, waiting for his explanation which he bet would first come from Allen. Kanda was too much of a tight-ass to go first, unless it was something to do with brute strength.
Komui internally chuckled, with today's events, next thing he'd know, Kanda would become smart and start cross-dressing, he already sleeps in that cute foetal position, it's not incredibly far-fetched in the insane man's eyes.
Yes, Lavi was not the only one aware of Kanda's cute sleeping habit, Lenalee, Komui, Tiedoll and Marie were also some of the others who knew Kanda's little secret, Marie, Lavi and Tiedoll being the only three of whom Kanda knows know his secret. But either way, Komui wished he took a photo, Kanda's sleeping cuteness was right below Lenalee's, it was so hard that one morning not to pounce on him and suddenly gain a Kanda-complex as well as his sister complex, but fear of a certain sword kept him at bay.
"Well~?" Komui hummed, sipping the coffee again, noticing neither had spoken during his little thought train. He suddenly wanted to go hug Kanda, but if Kanda knew Komui knew his secret he'd flip a desk – Komui's desk to be exact, and he had some... questionablestuff in those draws he didn't want any samurai revealing near his dear sister... or near Allen either, an evil octopus he may be, but Komui'd be damned if the kid wasn't naïve and he would not stand to being the one who corrupted his mind. He'd feel so guilty that the next time he got near his precious sister he might not attack, and tat was a definite no-no!
Unfortunately for Allen, however, the boy's sharp eye picked up on Komui's dark glint in his eyes as they stared at him, and the boy felt compelled to distract the man from his thoughts. He had a feeling he'd be dealing with Komurin VII if he dare let the man's crazy, Lenalee-obsessed thought-train continue. He didn't need to repeat the same mistake twice (The same thing happened with the Komurin V incident).
Clearing his throat, Allen finally broke the unnerving silence.
"Um, well, we fought JasDevi, and it was the usual attacks. They said some... disturbing things to myself and BaKanda-" "Moyashi..." "It's Allen, BaKanda – and that's about it. Oh, and they shot us with some unknown bomb after the taunting, said something about proving them right to reverse the curse of the green bomb or something equally stupid, and left in a cackle as I was left behind with a pissy BaKanda and about a thousand dollars worth of debts. Unfortunately they weren't fresh, so it doesn't help our case of Master being alive or not..." Allen explained as he felt a twinge of sadness about Cross' disappearance and the losing of his comparability with Judgement.
There were so many questions he needed answered, like where was Maria? Where was his stupid Master? What did he mean when he'd kill the person he loved? Will he ever-
"And what were they saying to you and Kanda, Allen?" Komui asked with a smile as he visibly grinned wider as both white-heads jolted in shock, before they both went rather red in the face and looked away from each other.
What? JasDevi weren't just creatively disturbing, they were graphic too. Allen was sure their 'gay sex ed' lesson was ten times worse than Master's 'talk', and that was saying something, as Cross' talk involved having Allen walk in on him and a random woman.
Allen shuddered at the thought, the memory was indefinitely a nightmare. Luckily JasDevi felt no need to demonstrate themselves, though their conjured versions of Kanda and Allen didn't help- ''.
"Don't tell me," The evil glint was back, "Those two thought Kanda was a girl and paired you together because you act like an old married couple, yes?"
"WHY AM I THE GIRL, CRAZY BASTARD?" "Because you look like one, you're almost as pretty as Lenalee~" "A- Allen-kun-!" "YOU OCTOPUS!"
...Lets just say Komurin VII was indeed released and Kanda took great pleasure in watching it chasing that moyashi around the new order, before he turned to see a blushing Lenalee and scowled as he stormed off, the cowl floating behind him like a menacing cape as he stormed towards the direction of the outdoors.
Kanda felt like a little training, and some gardening was what he needed to get over the headache known as 'MoyashiobviouslikesLenaleeandshelikeshimbackandIneedtowakethefuckupbecauseit'snotgoingtohappenwithmebecauseI'maguy andlasttimeIcheckedthemoyashiwasstraight', to sum it up nicely.