SM Owns everything Twilight. I own a copy of Water for Elephants. The book. HE's on the cover looking all hot. The story's good too.

Chapter 5

XXX – New Beginning - XXX

I woke up Monday morning feeling as though I had been run over by a bus overnight. It was like my body felt what was forthcoming, if only I would have heeded the signs, I might have stayed in bed.

I begrudgingly got up, showered and did my hair and makeup. Leaving the steamy bathroom in a hurry, I padded my way around my apartment, making my lunch while simultaneously eating my bowl of Capn' Crunch. I'd probably regret it later as that crap has a tendency to eat away at the inside of my mouth, ya know, like too many salted sunflower seeds.

By the time I left home to make my way to the office, I was hoping beyond hope for things to go back to the way they were meant to be. I mean, Tanya's latest absence had made my job less than enjoyable and I truly wished she could just get her shit together and come to work already. Either that, or Lauren could just hire someone new to do the job because I was getting tired of doing it all myself.

As I drudged my way into our department I noticed our boss standing in the doorway to my cubicle. I eyed her suspiciously. She seemed a little too eager to see me. She had the look of a woman on a mission. Probably a mission to make my life a living hell.

"Hi Lauren, what's up." I huffed as I walked passed her and shrugged off my jacket to hang it up on the hook attached to the wall of my cube.

She looked around my desk and scrunched her face, surveying the piles of paperwork that I still hadn't had the chance to file away before asking. "How have you been doing with the workload?"

I sat in my chair and looked up at her squinting "I'm keeping my head above water. I can't wait for Tanya to come back today."

She shuffled her feet before lowering her head slightly and dropping her voice to a whisper so that I would be the only one to hear her. "That's why I'm here Bella, Tanya isn't coming back."

I furrowed my brows and looked up at her expectantly before asking out-loud "What the fuck do you mean she's not coming back? Didn't she just take a few days off? What the hell? She just had a god-damned honeymoon and now she pulls all this shit." I was livid, that bitch had just screwed me over big time. I huffed wondering exactly what had gone on that she wouldn't be coming back to work.

She cleared her throat before continuing "Calm down, Bella." She swallowed hard "Yeah, ehm, well, she called me while I was at home yesterday, and told me she quit. She got an offer to work with her father at Denali & Jenks."

Now, to say that I was confused would be the understatement of the year. "Seriously, Lauren, you're kidding right? What the hell is she going to do at her father's law firm? She's a graphic designer for crying out loud?"

"She just said that she needed time to get away from everything." She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Did you know she's getting a divorce?"

I nodded and rolled my eyes in annoyance. "I guess, but this is just ten shades of fucked up, even for Tanya."

I huffed as I glanced around my cubicle. I had so much work on my plate already and I knew that Tanya had other deadlines to meet this week that I hadn't even looked at. Seriously, was that girl for real? I shook my head and lowered my gaze. I was so screwed.

Wasn't she supposed to be my friend?

Lauren took the few steps back towards the exit of my cube and smoothed the features in her face, making her look almost sympathetic to my plight "Don't worry Bella, we'll be holding interviews in the next few weeks. Hang in there, okay?"

"Okay, it's not like I have a choice, right?" I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. "Thanks for telling me, Lauren."

She walked off, muttering a thank you in return while I sat at my desk, totally overwhelmed by the mess of work that needed to be done. I wanted to scream at Tanya for more reasons than I was allowed to say out loud.

Whoring piece of trash.

I spent the next three weeks working relentless days, nights and weekends. My social life was nonexistent, even more so than usual, and at some point, I even got a post on my Facebook wall from Alice saying that she was worried about my lack of social life. When I explained the reality of the situation, she understood completely why I kept myself hidden away and wished me luck.

She gave me some Edward-Tanya updates. Informing me that Edward had gone back to living in his apartment. He was also spending more time with his family. Well, his family being Alice, and of course this got her all excited and twitchy. Like I cared. Well, I did. Fuck me.

I was staying away since I had no other options. My work took up all of my time but I didn't tell her that the other part of me was staying away from her because I would have done something stupid like dry-hump her cousin shamelessly while she looked on in horror.

My girlie bits rejoiced as those thoughts entered my mind.

Mr. Perfect used up many batteries while I dreamed up those images.

But I kept those little bits and pieces of my deranged psyche hidden away. Even from my best friend. I hadn't given her any clues as to my true feelings for him.

Wait, did I have feelings for him?

Although, knowing Alice's mad deduction skills, I'm certain that she knew I was attracted to him either by the tone in my voice when I spoke about him or by the obvious way that I had eye-fucked him at his own wedding.

Now, if she did indeed know anything about my feelings for her cousin, she certainly didn't let on to it. Instead, she never bothered bringing him up at all in our conversations. The little minx waited for me to take the bait and start up on the subject, which I thankfully didn't do very often since we didn't speak too much because of my busy work schedule. God, I had come to hate Tanya-Drama.

My mental teeter-totter worked out for everyone, except for me, of course.

By the end of the third week of Tanya's absence at work, I was thoroughly caught up. My weekend was finally mine.

Unfortunately, since I hadn't had time for myself in weeks, I had no idea what to do with it.

I woke up early Saturday morning muttering some pretty shiny and unnecessarily vulgar words at the dismal state of the scenery outside. Rain, in Seattle, shocking, I know.

I had been hoping for a nice day to go for a walk in the park and read a good book under the shade of a tree. Call me a hopeless romantic, but there is nothing more peaceful than being outside breathing the crisp, fresh air, listening to the soothing sounds of nature - and maybe my iPod and mentally escaping to another world through the written words of a book. Sooo much better than television.

Instead, I took a quick shower, threw my hair into a ponytail, got dressed and packed up a lunch to bring with me to the library. I had spent too much time on my own during the past few weeks to be spending one more day alone in my apartment.

The quietness of being surrounded by people in the library was better than the solitude of being alone at home.

I quickly found my favorite spot in the sitting area at the far corner of the library. It was filled with sofas and a few chairs for study groups but students usually reserved private rooms to do groups projects, leaving the sitting area empty. I threw myself on my favorite sofa. The spot in the corner near the end table where the beige neutral cushion has a grape juice stain was the most comfortable place in the entire library. Well, to me it was at least.

I pulled out the book that I had brought with me. It had been at least a month since my last visit and almost as long since I had been able to read any of it. I had completely lost track of the story and would most likely have to start over. Thankfully, it wasn't overdue, yet, and I would be able to renew it before leaving.

I sat there for God knows how long, sipping my Pepsi through a straw, relishing in the lovely romance between a vampire and a mortal and completely lost to the outside world.

"Isabella?"

A smooth velvety voice whispered my name from beside me. My breath hitched slightly and I gasped as I turned my head and, completely despite myself, smiled at the bronze haired, green eyed beauty beside me.

"Edward?"

Dear God, please make this real. Please make it so that I did not fall asleep on the dirty sofa in the library. And please make Edward stop smirking at me so that I can make coherent sentences and not tell him he's pretty or beautiful or that I want to lick him or whatever the hell else I would say to embarrass myself completely and die. Oh yeah, and God, please make my girlie bits stop tingling at the sight of him if you can. Amen.

"What are you-" We both started and stopped at the same time as Edward took a seat next to me on the sofa.

"You go-" Again, total one brain, two mouths thing happening between us. Taking me by surprise I giggled, yeah, fucking giggled and motioned with my hand for him to keep talking.

He smiled, a panty soaking, even in my wettest dreams kinda smile. "What are you doing here?"

I motion to my novel "Reading, you?"

He does the same motion to the medical encyclopedia he's holding in his hands. "Research."

I furrowed my brow and cocked my head to one side in wonder "I thought you were done with medical school?"

He gave me a cute crooked smile and I swear my undies did this thing where they begged to be taken off. My girlie bits agreed. "I am. It's actually Dr. Edward Cullen now. But I have a patient that is baffling me and I wanted to research her condition."

"I see," I took my bottom lip into my mouth to stop me from my verbal diarrhea "But don't they have those books in the hospital?"

He chuckled. "They do, but I come here a lot lately so I figured I'd look it up while I was here."

My brain did a happy dance while my underwear wanted to bitch slap Tanya for letting this beautiful boy go. My girlie bits calmed them down by convincing them that this way we could make him ours. Yeah, all sorts of fucked up things were going on in my head as I spoke to the pretty man seated next to me. "I haven't seen you around. I come here most Saturdays when the weather looks like that" I motion with my thumb towards the window.

"Well, since the div-" he looks down at the intertwined fingers sitting in his lap before continuing with a slightly pained expression on his face "before, with Tanya, we had brunch with her parents on Saturdays whenever I wasn't on shift so I never really had time to myself."

I nodded in understanding. "Oh, ehm, it's okay, I know about the divorce. You can talk to me about it if you want. I mean, it's none of my business really, but I'm a good listener?" And you're so pretty. And your voice makes me want to do nasty things to your body. And those hands... My girlie bits want those hands all over them. And Mr. Perfect is soooo going to get himself some play when I get home.

"Who's Mr. Perfect?"

Shit. Wait. "What?"

"You were muttering something about your boyfriend?" He frowned and looked at me expectantly.

"No, I'm single, I mean... shit, never mind. I have to go." I unceremoniously shoved all of my stuff into my bag, said a hasty goodbye and left the library and Edward sitting on my favorite sofa.

During the short walk to my truck, my head kept spinning because I wasn't sure (-about) how much of my brain fart had leaked out of my mouth. As disgusting as that sounds, I felt even worse. It was one thing to be completely infatuated with a man I barely knew but to tell him out loud about my vibrator... and the fact that he was pretty. Pretty. Did I use the word pretty?

Oh god, I hoped I didn't say the word pretty...

"Bella, wait up." I heard his footsteps closing in the distance behind me.

Shit. Fuck. Fucketty fuck, fuck, fuck.

I turned around, let out an exhausted breath and braced myself against my truck. He didn't know me and really, what chances did I even have with someone like him.

He was married to a leggy blond. How could I compete with that?

A leggy blond who cheated on him, my girlie bits reminded me gleefully.

Might as well face him and go the friend route.

"I'm sorry?" I met his eyes and closed mine taking in a large gulp of air in an attempt at calming the fuck down.

"Here, you forgot your keys." he said as he dangled the keys in front of my face. I looked up to meet his emerald eyes and he had the widest smile plastered on his mouth. I wanted to kiss it but I knew I could never do such a thing. It made me so incredibly sad. Like as if someone had kidnapped my puppy for ransom. I sighed, took the keys and told him that I needed to go.

I watched him watch me leave as I backed up the truck out of my parking spot and drove away.

He smiled a genuine smile and waved at me. I waved back as I felt my heart break a little. I might have left part of me with him.

I rolled my eyes at myself for being such a spaz. My girlie bits wanted to bitchslap my brain.

A/N: Thanks to my girls, WitchyVampireGirl and Scrimmy, for betaing and prereading this stuff. Your feedback makes all of this possible, you know!

Don`t forget to check out the Spank the monkey contest

http: / / www . fanfiction . net / u / 2945329 / spankthemonkey4U

Now, press that lil review button down there and leave me some love!

xx Missy