SM owns all things Twilight. My initials are MR so I'm clearly not her.

Chapter 6

XXX - Second Chances - XXX

When I got home from the library, I paced around my apartment for about an hour before settling down and making my gammy's famous pasta sauce. I figured I might as well get something done if I'm gonna stay home and rot away on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

I had just finished putting the sauce in some jars when my phone buzzed and Alice's name popped up. I apprehensively answered the phone and hoped that she wouldn't bring up my disastrous afternoon.

"Hi, Allie." I answered trying my hardest to sound normal. Cause, ya know, it had been hard to just sound normal with all of the buzzing around in my stomach.

"Hey Bells, how was your first day off?" She asked gleefully. Too happy for my taste but this was usual Alice behavior. I made some small talk while doing a crap load of fidgeting and wearing a hole in my living room carpet from all of my pacing.

"Hmm, fine?" I answered apprehensively. Leave it to Alice to make me feel like I did something wrong. "How was yours?"

"Interesting," She giggled. "I just wanted to get in touch with my bestie, ya know, see how she was doing."

Oh, God, she knew something. As much as Alice was one to be freaky-cheerful all of the time, her behavior over the phone was way over the top, even for her. After about ten minutes of deliberating about whether or not I should tell her about my impromptu meeting with Edward at the library, I cracked.

"Alice, I'm so embarrassed." I hit myself in the forehead with the palm of my hand and nervously smoothed my hair back into a ponytail.

"Why?" She giggled, and then went on to tell me about how Edward had asked her who was Mr. Perfect. "Bella, I laughed so hard, I swear I almost peed myself."

"Oh. My. God. Alice, you didn't really tell him that did you?" I felt my skin heat and the unmistakable blush rush up my body as the impact of what she was telling me sunk in.

My girlie bits quivered and hid underneath some rocks, warning my brain that they would never come out again unless it learned to control what came out of my mouth.

"Well, he thought it was your boyfriend, Bella." She giggled again. "I guess in a way it is." She cackled at her own joke. Bitch.

"Seriously Alice, what the hell. That is sooo embarrassing." I shook my head in disbelief as if she could see me through the phone.

She kept giggling. "Don't worry about it Bella, Edward thought it was funny as hell when I told him who Mr. Perfect actually was."

"Oh God, Alice, you're kidding right. You didn't actually tell him that, did you?" That heat I was feeling turned up to a scorching level as my eyes betrayed me and I started tearing up. I was embarrassed beyond anything I had ever felt. Which was saying a lot since I could hardly walk in a straight line while chewing gum without falling on my ass.

"Calm down, Bella, Edward thinks you're adorable. He says you're the nicest person he's met in a long time." She sounded genuine in her declaration but I couldn't help the tears that fell on my cheeks.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better, but thanks Alice." I whimpered, surprised by my own emotions. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and smiled, if only it were true.

Alice wouldn't lie to you, would she? The little voice in my head asked as I pondered her words.

"I swear Bella, Edward actually thought you were the cutest thing all balled up like a little kitten in the corner of the sofa in the library and reading a book. Seriously, is that what you do every Saturday?" She asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I guess. Kind of. Wait, he said I looked like a kitten?" What the hell did that even mean? Do men like kittens?

"So you go to the library and read? I thought you were out shopping or doing something mildly interesting." She sighed. "So, when you say you're busy, does that mean you're like sitting alone at home reading a book? Bella, you do realize that there are real people out there don't you?"

"Of course I do, Alice, it relaxes me. Plus, when the weather is nice, I go to the park." I explained but I swear I heard her roll her eyes at my explanation of my extracurricular activities.

"Whatever Bella, I have a date with Jazz tonight but we're all going out next Saturday. You're coming with us. No questions asked. Capiche?" She ordered.

"Capiche." I didn't bother arguing. Going out after my embarrassing display of word vomit could only be good for me. Maybe I could drink myself into believing I hadn't totally screwed up my chances at being friends with Edward.

I hung up the phone and went back to my sauce. The lids seemed to be sealing so I cleaned up the kitchen thoroughly and put a load of laundry in the washing machine. Looking around my apartment, I noted that there wasn't really much that needed to be done.

I walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My big brown eyes looked back at me. I noticed how my eyebrows seemed to be lopsided so I plucked a few hairs from them, equaling them out before undressing and hoping in the shower. I was bored. Really bored.

I stumbled out of the shower after failing to get myself off with the shower head. What the fuck, that thing had never failed before. I was losing my mojo. Edward was fucking with my head. Every part of my body ached for him but yet, when I tried to get myself off by thinking about him, it just did nothing for me. I walked straight to my bedroom stark naked and gave Mr. Perfect a go and still, nothing. Not-a-thing.

I picked myself off of my bed and put on some sweats and a camisole. Not sexy but whatever, I lived alone and that shit was comfortable. Sue me.

Turning on the television, I flipped through a bunch of channels before settling on a re-run of CSI. Ohhh, this was the one with Justin Bieber. Interesting.

After my lame attempt at feigning interest in pop culture and failing miserably, I got my laptop and logged into Facebook. To my surprise, I had a friend request.

Even more surprising was that the potential "Friend" was the pretty Edward Cullen. His picture, according to the date stamp, was taken only a few weeks ago. He looked happy, not at all like a man distraught over his divorce. This gave me hope for him after all.

Well, that and the fact that I had a friend request from him even after he found out about my vibrator and my bad habit of running away from my problems. I chewed my lip and contemplated accepting his request. Would he see the shit I posted on Alice's wall?

Duh, Bella, he's her friend too. He's already seen it.

Then again, what about the random crap I posted on my own wall?

I hated social networking. So much so that I accepted his request and quickly logged off.

I went to bed and, to my surprise, quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up really early Sunday morning, probably due to my going to bed so early the previous evening. I stretched my naked body and pulled myself out of bed. I didn't know what to do with myself, I was so wound up tight, I felt like I was going to implode from all of the tension. I desperately needed a release. Pronto.

I meandered around my house, cleaning up and putting away the canned containers of sauce. Fidgeting. Thinking only two words: Edward Cullen.

What the fuck was the matter with me.

I refused to be some sort of random post-Tanya rebound fuck.

Then again...

That thought lead me to m bedroom. Mr. Perfect winked at me. I swear. Fucker.

He knew I wanted it.

I knew I wanted it.

My pussy knew it too.

But after about thirty minutes of pinching, prodding and a quick battery change, still nothing. My "O" had gone the way of VHS tapes. Discarded never to be seen again.

Porn. I needed porn. Maybe that'd get me going. Or so I'd hoped.

I hopped off of my bed and took my shirt off, throwing it on the ground where I had left my yoga pants and underwear. I mean, if I'm going to fuck myself, might as well do it thoroughly.

The closet. It contained some hidden things. Magical things, I thought as I opened the door to the closet and perused the lot of old shoe boxes until I found the one I was looking for. Butterflies filled my belly as I opened the lid and found the decrepit VHS cassette.

Alice had gotten me some porn years ago as a gag gift. Fucker didn't know I had kept it. Joke's on her.

I slipped it inside my old cassette player. I hadn't watched it in years. Truth be told, Mr. Perfect was, well, perfect. No need for old porn. Now, in my current state, I turned the machine on and anticipated the scene that would undoubtedly pop up on my television set.

My hands were twitching.

My pussy was tingling.

I was needy, wanting... something.

Watching that part on that VHS had never failed in helping to get me off.

But then, nothing happened.

The screen stayed blank. The dinosaur of a VHS player ground to a screeching halt. It clicked twice and ejected the mangled cassette. Leaving me naked, alone and horny.

I huffed. It sounded like a growl. Seriously, my luck couldn't have gotten any worse. Or so I thought.

I turned to face my bed and saw Mr. Perfect's head poking from under the covers. Fucker was mocking me. True story.

I balled my hands into fists and clenched my teeth.

Two days.

It had been two freaking days with no "O".

She had left me. Bitch.

I turned from my bed and looked out of my bedroom door, into the kitchen. The laptop. It had porn, right?

It sat on the counter and I swear, it too mocked me.

It contained information. Information about Edward Cullen. I wanted said information about Edward Cullen. More so than I wanted porn. Which lead me to thinking about porn, featuring Edward Cullen. Yeah, my girlie bits tingled gleefully, hoping for an "O".

But see, Edward Cullen had made my "O" leave, she wanted nobody but him. Fuck. Exactly.

Chewing my lip, I sighed, defeated. I walked to the laptop, still stark naked and pressed the little blue Power button making the machine come to life .

The butterflies from earlier; they returned. I was anxious again.

I waited with baited breath as the Windows screen popped up and beeped. Those butterflies fluttered more now, making me feel nauseous.

I swallowed hard and clicked on the Explorer button, summoning the internet. Letting my addiction take over.

A/N: This story is entirely Bella's. I might do outtakes in EPOV at some point but for now, stick with me, I'm getting somewhere. We will see more Edward-Bella interaction next chapter. We will see a bit of how he is actually dealing with the divorce and Tanya's indiscretions.

As usual, thanks to the awesomest girls, WitchyVampirGirl an Scrimmy for their help with this stuff. Your feedback means everything to me.

And thanks to everyone who favors, alerts and reviews this story. You rock! :o)