SM owns everything Twilight. I own the right to cock block you whores at any chance I get. ;o)

I'm not sure if I will be able to update this weekend so ehmm... here we go...

Chapter 16

XXX – Edward - XXX

She's there again. Her hair draped over her shoulders, hiding her face. Her legs pulled up underneath herself making her look so shy and reserved.

So pretty and petite.

Her small frame, small features and porcelain skin making her look like a little china doll nestled into that overstuffed sofa.

I hated that sofa.

I wanted to be that sofa.

Every weekend for the last three months, every time it rains, she'd been there. Curled up like a little ball reading one book or another.

What are you reading this morning, kitten?

I shouldn't have noticed her. But I did.

I was getting married and had cold feet about the event.

That had to be it. Right?

Whenever I felt nervous, needed time to think or I needed to get away from my future bride; those were the days I'd come to my sanctuary hidden in the medical research section of the library.

And in the last three months, I haven't done any research. Or thought of anything else but her.

I've watched her.

I used to tell my fiancé that I had some research to do. In all honesty, I was only here to quell my need for the shy library girl.

I don't think Tanya noticed I was ever even gone. She'd been busy buying this, organizing that.

I left it up to her since the one time I tried to help; I had apparently ordered the wrong thing.

Tanya liked things the way she did and nothing I ever did was good enough.

Nothing I said was good enough either.

I'd often wondered why I'd let her run my life, but it was rather simple, I loved her.

I'd been with her for so long, I couldn't imagine a life without her. She stuck by me when I went through medical school. She'd spend weeks on end without seeing me and she never had any negative comment about it only telling me she couldn't wait for me to become Dr. Edward Cullen.

Little did I know back then that it was only so she could become Mrs. Dr. Edward Cullen.

I should have known.

The writing was on the wall.

She would pull back whenever I made a move towards her when it came to any bedroom related activities. She was always the one making the first move. I became complacent. Not wanting. Meeting my needs alone in the shower; exploding all over the walls.

Cullen, party of one.

She would spend a lot of time at the gym or getting her nails done, surely not for my benefit since I'd told her time and time again that I liked her natural beauty far more than any painted on version. But she never listened.

I had to put my foot down when it came to the implants. I told her I would never marry anyone with fake tits. I just couldn't fathom spending the rest of my life feeling up a bag of silicone.

And she didn't get them, she agreed to disagree. And we moved on.

We got married.

She became Mrs. Dr. Edward Cullen. I became a shell of the man I used to be.

I looked happy on the outside, but I was screaming on the inside. I couldn't understand it. I didn't know what had happened to make me feel that way. But as I stood there and recited my vows, telling people I loved her, I didn't even believe my own words.

Cold feet. It had to be cold feet.

I was happy to see my family at my wedding since we had drifted apart over the years. Tanya and my mother didn't see eye to eye. I could understand both of their points of view. Mom wanted grandkids and Tanya didn't feel ready to have them. It seemed to be a big point of contention between the two. Tanya and I eventually stopped visiting and it became routine that I would visit on my own when Tanya was out of town or with her girlfriends.

I was so pleased to see that my cousin Alice had even made it to the ceremony. We had always been so close when we were younger but I hadn't seen her in months. I felt hurt that she and Tanya weren't friends since I knew she worked at the same graphic design firm as Tanya. I would have loved to have Alice visit more often. I loved that little pixie to death.

In time, I found out the two of them didn't speak. I didn't know why but I was grateful that Alice had still come to support me on my big day.

As I peaked round Alice, I saw my sweet girl. I had to recover quickly and act as though her presence didn't phase me. But it did.

A lot.

Her dress was... her dress looked like it was painted on her body. It accentuated every delicious curve, making my cock twitch at the sight. He hair was pulled back from her face, giving me an uninterrupted view of her features.

I was so used to seeing her in her natural state in over sized sweaters and her hair in a ponytail or in lose curls covering her face that seeing her this way made me wish I could see her in other ways.

Like laying on her back naked and writhing underneath me.

Or standing in the shower with water gliding off of her back as I pounded into her tight pussy.

I cleared my throat and smiled at her, wishing I didn't feel like the biggest jackass in the world for getting married when I had this kind of reaction to another woman.

Little did I know that my sweet library girl also worked with them.

I had heard of Bella before. Tanya had described her as introverted and bookish. She often had lunch with her since the two of them worked so closely together. Tanya would make it seem like she was doing the girl a favor since apparently Bella didn't have many friends.

I thought it odd at the time that Tanya would reach out to someone who was so obviously below her standards but didn't question it. I figured that she might be softening up. Growing. That thought in itself was funny. Tanya didn't do such things unless they benefited her. And being friends with Bella did benefit her.

I'd come to find out that she kept Bella close to her as a cover. Bella was that someone who could confirm her non-existent trips to the gym or her imaginary appointments.

She took advantage of Bella; plain and fucking simple.

And when I saw Bella for the first time outside of the library, I knew my life would never be the same.

At the wedding reception, when I shook her hand and hugged her as was customary, I didn't know what to say to her. I wondered if she would recognize me. The look on her face was almost one of recognition and I was almost afraid that the cat would come out of the bag.

It left me wondering if she'd tell Tanya that her husband was a creepy stalker.

But then, she gave me a giant megawatt smile that lit up the whole room and made me feel like the most important person in there. Which was strange since I actually was, next to Tanya, the most important person in there.

Yet, I hadn't felt like that before seeing her.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye. Every time I'd look over, she'd avert her eyes.

I still thought she'd rat me out.

So, I decided to bide my time until she confronted me about it and I would simply explain that I was there for research and that I had no idea what she was talking about.

But she never said anything.

After a little while, she was gone. Like Cinderella, she left before the Prince could dance with her.

It felt wrong to think about her that way.

But I did.

It left me wondering about her. The real her not the one I had made up in my head.

The reception ended without another trace of her.

Tanya and I departed for our honeymoon.

I thought everything would be okay, that these thoughts would go away.

But they didn't.

I felt like the worst husband in the world.

Tanya's blond hair and blue eyes were all wrong. I desperately needed them to be right.

I tried to connect with my wife, blaming myself when I kissed her and felt nothing; only springing to life as I imagined running my fingers through long mahogany hair and staring into deep chocolate colored eyes.

It scared the ever-loving shit out of me to feel that for another woman.

It made me try harder.

I took my time, exploring Tanya's body making her feel whole, like I wanted and desired her. And I did, or at least used to. I felt so guilty about my treacherous heart that I made sure to make her come so many times over the course of our honeymoon that she would pass out from exhaustion before I could get myself over the edge.

Which only served me right since my own hands and the images of Bella bent over that library sofa and taking my cock inside of her tight little pussy were the only thoughts that could get me going those days.

I had finally found a name to put on the girls' face and it only served to make that fantasy realistic.

She was real.

Some mornings I would wake up alone in that foreign hotel room bed and pray that my new wife didn't come back. I loved her but I feared that I didn't love her enough. I wanted to make things work. I needed to make my feelings for her real again.

So, I vowed to stay away from the library. Stay away from the temptation.

And work on my marriage.

My friends and family had no idea about my internal struggle. I had always been one to internalize my feelings. This was good since I could work on making things good again.

Bella was one of those things that I needed to keep to myself.

When my wife showed up in our hotel room, saying that she was shopping or exploring the grounds while I slept, I believed her.

We came home from our honeymoon and I would see her sneak around. She always had a place to be or people to see. Telling me I wouldn't know since I had never bothered to be around before.

Since I was home more often and was trying to be around for her, I saw it.

The cheating. The bruises on her hips. Fingers that had dug in, from foreign fingers and hands that weren't mine.

The swollen lips after coming home from the gym.

Had she exercised those too?

I berated myself for not seeing it before. I had been so busy with my studies, then my work to even know that my fiancé was screwing anything with a dick.

And being my fucking wife didn't stop any of it from happening.

One afternoon, I came home after a grueling fifteen hours of emergency room visits only to find her crumbled on the living room floor crying her eyes out.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I knelt beside her and held her to me. I knew she was cheating on me but the guilt I felt over not being there for her and having feelings for another woman held me in place and tied me to Tanya in such a way that I couldn't hold it against her.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"I don't love you anymore, Edward." She sobbed into my shirt and held on to me.

As realization washed over me, I was expecting to feel something, anything, but I didn't.

I sat there and held her as she cried. I tried to feel anger or hurt; remorse even. Nothing came to me.

"It's okay, we'll be fine, Tanya."

"We won't be fine, Edward. I'm leaving." She looked up at me and dried her tear stained cheeks with the back of her hands. "We shouldn't have done this. I wanted to be with you. So much. But I can't do it anymore."

I stood and paced around the living room.

Why am I not angry?

Why am I not seething with rage?

Why am I so relieved?

"Just get the fuck out, Tanya." I yelled as I tried to channel some sort of negative emotion towards her.

She went into the bedroom to pack her tings while I stood in the living room, stunned at my lack of response.

Shock.

Maybe I was in shock?

That would totally explain my lack of emotion.

Wouldn't it?

I walked out of the house, not knowing where to go or who to turn to.

I wasn't sure how but I ended up at Alice's. She was the closest family member I had and I knew that Tanya would never look for me there. I didn't want to see her again. She would think it was because I was hurt over our separation, but in all honesty, it was for my own benefit. I was the one who was never there. I was as guilty as she was.

"Edward, what are you doing here?"

"Alice, I'm sorry to bother you. Tanya left me." Is all I choked out before pulling her small frame into my arms and hugging her hard. I had missed her and my family so much; I only hoped that it wasn't too late.

"Oh, my God, Edward, are you ok?" Shock was written all over her face.

"I'll be fine. Can I crash here for a little while? I just need to be with family and I don't feel like having to explain all of this shit to mom and dad quite yet."

She pulled back from our embrace and put her small hand on my cheek, "Of course, sweetie. Stay as long as you need."

I told Alice everything about Tanya but left out the part about my library girl. Bella would always be that girl I had admired from afar.

I ended up staying there longer than anticipated but I loved coming home from work and having someone around me be happy that I was there.

We bonded over stories from our childhood and I got to know the woman she had become.

In the short amount of time I lived on her sofa, I also got to know Jasper. He was a good guy and I could feel the love radiating from him towards her. Something I never felt for Tanya.

"I'm having dinner with Bella tomorrow night and Jasper's working late. Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine."

Bella. I wondered how she was. Alice would only bring her up sporadically and would never speak about her beyond that. I missed seeing her. "How did you two meet?" The question left my lips before I could think about it.

She giggled, her face lighting up as we took our seats in the living room. "This is a good story, Edward." She started with a wistful look on her face. "We were in college. I had this shy roommate, JoAnn. She didn't go out much and spent her time with her nose in a book.

"One day, I finally convinced her to come out with me. The girls in the apartment across the hall were having a party. Nyddi and Trease were crazy. They had the wildest parties but were also plagued by a bookish roommate, Bella. The three of us got together and decided it was time to make JoAnn and Bella the life of the party. I did what I could with JoAnn and even if she was reluctant at first, when you got a few beers into her, she was quite willing to cooperate." Alice smiled at the thought, "Anyways, by the time we made it to the party, Bella was also three sheets to the wind since Trease and Nyddi had done the same to her.

"I walked into that apartment and got face to knees with Bella who was dancing on the kitchen table with a cup in her hand and not a care in the world."

"So, wait, you guys got your friends drunk to loosen them up?"

"Of course we did, silly. It needed to be done." She sighed and rolled her eyes, "You don't understand. Bella and JoAnn had a stick shoved so far up their asses they could barely walk."

I groaned. Oh, the images.

"Anyways, Nyddi, Trease and JoAnn ended up bonding far more than I had ever expected." Alice scrunched up her nose, "They live on a nudist commune in Des Moines. I got a post card from them last year. They're happy, I think."

"Wait, are they like together, together?"

She giggled, "Oh, yeah. All three of them."

"And Bella?"

"During the last semester of our freshman year, Bella ended up moving in with me after finding the three of them naked in the living room with some frat boy. Poor boy didn't know what hit him."

Wait, what?

"So wait, they were sleeping with men too?"

"Sweetie, for the sake of your mind and sick imagination, I'm going to leave it at that, okay? Just keep in mind that Bella ended up living with me and that we have been friends ever since."

I smiled, three girls, one guy. The logistics didn't make much sense.

"Nudists in Des Moines? Isn't it cold there?" I scratched my head trying to make two plus two make four. It just didn't ad up.

Alice hit my arm. Hard. "Stop thinking about it. Bella had nightmares for months." She giggled, "Nightmares; wet dreams, whatever. She had a hard time dealing with the visual."

"I would too, I guess."

"Don't tell her I told you, okay?"

"Why would I-"

"Because I saw the way you looked at her. I'm surprised you waited this long to bring her up. The two of you are like two peas in a pod."

"Yeah, but-"

"Don't worry, sweetie. It'll all work itself out."

I sighed, "Thanks, Alice."

"You're welcome."

I never could get the logistics worked out but was very thankful that Bella and Alice had become friends.

The divorce went forward and the lawyer agreed that I had enough merit to be able to speed things up.

I wanted to know more about Bella. I approached her once in the library but failed miserably at it. It clearly freaked her out that I was even there; thus confirming that she had never seen me there before.

I held back and started with little things to get to know Bella by friending her on Facebook.

We were then able to have small conversations that seemed to flow effortlessly.

I wanted so much more from her but was so afraid to push her away from me.

When I saw her at the park, my second favorite place to go and think, I knew I could never live without her. Still, I needed to take things as slow as possible for her as well as for me.

Coming fresh from a separation and jumping into bed with someone else would not serve to prove anything.

So, I kept up with the small things.

The park and the meadow seemed perfect for us. We talked face to face. I got to admire her from close up and tested my restraint by not whipping out my cock and rubbing it all over her to mark my territory.

Yeah, that would have been pushing it.

Time moved on and I got to know Bella on a whole other level. Not only was she beautiful, but she was smart, funny and witty. The blush on her cheeks was the cutest thing ever. I felt wanted by her which was beyond anything I had felt in a long time.

Her admission about her vibrator only served to keep my fantasies flowing. I could only imagine how she used that thing and then wondered if I would ever be able to take its' place.

Then I wondered if she'd ever be willing to let me watch while she used it.

I used up a lot of lotion in a short amount of time. It's all I'm sayin'.

I was jealous of a vibrator. Sick? Yeah, that would have been me.

One weekend, Alice asked me to go out with them and I couldn't resist. Knowing I would be in Bella's company along with the rest of our friends was a temptation I couldn't stay away from.

That night, drunken Pictionary was born.

When I lent Bella my sweater and noticed how good she looked in, it took all of my restraint not to shove her in Alice's bathroom and show her exactly how she made my body react to her.

I was hard and had to sneak away to the bathroom to relieve some of the tension. I imagined her kneeling in front of me and taking my cock in her mouth. Her lips wrapped around my dick; my hand in her hair guiding her over me as I fucked her wet, hot mouth.

The feeling of her throat swallowing around me as I came.

It didn't take very long to explode all over Alice's pristine wall tiles. It took longer to clean up the mess that it did to get myself to come.

That night I had dreams of Bella wearing my sweater and nothing else as she rode me.

I also had my first wet dream since I was thirteen.

I vowed to do something about it.

I had to let her know how much I wanted her.

I kept on with our Facebook or phone conversations. She seemed to always be there for me and I tried as much as I could to be there for her.

Emmett invited me out one night, saying something about needing some guy time.

Little did I know that Bella would also be there.

That night, I decided to make my move.

I would prove to everyone in that place that she belonged with me.

I saw how other men looked at her. None of them could have her. She was mine and only mine and I would make sure they all knew it.

After taking a few shots of Bourbon for some liquid courage, I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her. Kissing the shell of her ear and breathing her in. I couldn't keep my lips or my tongue from her skin. I needed to taste her. Mark her. Feel her relax into me as she moveed with me.

When our lips met and she moaned, the sounds went straight to my already hard cock. I thought I would jizz all over myself and spend the rest of the evening with an uncomfortable sticky mess in my underwear.

Thank God I didn't.

That's what images of my nana Scrimmy were for.

My obsession with Bella only went downhill from there. We spoke more, kissed more and spent more time together. I let her see me for who I was and in return she did the same.

I almost wept when I went all emo on her just because I was able to make her come all over my lap. It was emotional since Tanya had been voicing more and more of my inability to perform towards me. Telling my lawyer that she had to cheat on me since I did nothing for her in bed. It wasn't true, but it still hurt like a son of a bitch to have that shit thrown at you.

Your manhood takes that kind of assault pretty hard.

Through it all, I still hadn't told Bella that I had been somewhat of a stalker. I had kept that from her and on some level, I felt like I was cheating her by not telling her.

I was afraid of her reaction.

Afraid that she would run.

Thankfully, she didn't.

A/N: Okay, so, yeah, the ones that wanted EPOV, now you got it. I couldn't do it beforehand and risk revealing too much of the plot. I also didn't want to re-hash everything either and I feel that by doing the whole story in EPOV would be re-telling what has already been told.

Next chapter will be in BPOV. I'm not sure if we will hear from Edward again but if he speaks to me, I'll let you know!

I was an epic fail at thanking the girls on the Facebook groups for pimping out this story. You girls seriously rock my world and deserve some serious lovin'.

A huge thank you to WitchyVampireGirl and Scrimmy for doing their thang. I fluv you girls!