Chapter 2

I missed my period. Not good, not good. I was just getting used to raising a child. Not to mention that this child would be only a few months younger than Isabella. And we were living with Alli in a single room.

Okay, first thing is first. I get a pregnancy test. Only way to know for sure. I was lucky though, to be living with the Bhandari's on such a low rent. That I insisted on paying them. I also had a job at Hot Topic where they, for some odd reason, let me bring Isabella. She loved the music and was so calm there.

I picked her up and went to the pharmacy where I picked up a pregnancy test. The cashier looked at me with such sad eyes. I just wanted to punch. This is none of her business.

I went back to the house and put Isabella in a small playpen.

I looked down at the test on the counter in front of me. The test was wrong, it just had to be. But there it was, right next to my black eyeliner and black lipstick. I couldn't believe what it said. Me, little St. Clare was pregnant. I thought back to the night this most likely happened. Hell, the only night it could have happened.

Flashback

"Are you sure you want to do this, Clare?" Eli asked me as we lay panting on my bed. My parents were away for the weekend on business trips so it was just me. The way it had been since the divorce. His parents were on a vacation so they thought he was home alone too. Isabella was on vacation with Eli's parents.

I thought about how we got here. Eli had come over so we could watch \i0 The Departed \i together. Apparently it was a good movie. It had Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon. Eli loved it and had told me it was hilarious. Instead he kissed me as he came into the house. Then the kiss became more heated, more passionate. We made our way into my room, never once breaking our kiss.

"Yes, Eli, I'm sure about this. I love you and only you," I told him. I knew he was the one for me. I really did love him. And he loved me.

"Okay then." I kissed him on the lips and took off my purity ring, putting it on the table. I removed Eli's shirt and he removed mine. It went on from there. And we made love. Exploring every crest and crevice of each others bodies.

End flashback.

I thought about that night every day for the past month. A week after\i it\i0 happened, Elijah Ryan Goldsworthy ran away and left me his little daughter. And I don't know why. I took care of Isabella.

My parents could find out some other time. Or, if things stayed the way they were, they could just never find out. Ever since Eli ran away I've dressed in black, styled my hair Emo, worn black eye makeup, band ts, skinny jeans, and listened to Black Veil Brides, Evanescance, Dead Hand, All That Remains*, Blood on the Dance Floor, and Escape the Fate. I stopped going to church and Jesus Club. If God was real than why was he putting me through hell**? I felt different when he left and feel good in my new style. But it caused my parents to stop talking to me. Like they really cared about me. They cared about themselves. Although, my mother threw me out when she found out I was taking care of Isa. 'Go ahead,' she said, 'ruin your life. But not in my house.'

You got me Bewitched/'Cause I'm under your spell/Yeah you must be a witch/'Cause I am living in hell/Now is the time/Now is the hour/To take back my heart/To take back my power

My phone started blaring Bewitched by the Blood on the Dance Floor. The caller ID said it was my sister Darcy.

"Hey Darce," I said.

"Hey Clare, I just wanted to see how you were doing."

I'm pregnant and I'm raising my boyfriend's daughter, that's how I'm doing. That's what I wanted to say, but what I said was, "I'm okay. I actually have to go to the store, and then go to work, so it was nice talking to you."

"Oh, well I guess I'll talk to you later than. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and put my face in my hands. I really did need to go shopping for some new clothes. And I wanted to talk to Darcy but I was afraid that I would slip if I said anything to her. And she would tell mom. Who would have a fit.

I got up and went over to my desk to grab my debit card. I had plenty of money in the bank. Eli never let me pay for anything. Even now, he put money into a separate account for me to buy Isabella's things and supplies. I walked down to the curb and called a taxi. When I got out of the car I went straight to Hot Topic so I could get to work.

I walked in and Sweet Blasphemy was playing. It was just starting so I decided to sing along.

Through sadness you have taught us/to be one with the crowd/Unveil the sacred order/hymns of falling down/You told the greatest stories/of love and bleeding crowns/But to the sick and hungry/you cannot be found/

I put Isabella on the counter in her car seat, she seemed to be giggling because she liked me singing so I just smiled at her and put her bag behind the counter while I put on my name tag. I kept singing and then went to restock the jewelry.

We are young and we are strong/Through strength in self we become/Something more than they can be/I raise my heart and sing!/That I won't believe this lie/I know there's something more inside/Darkness is all you see/This is our Sweet Blasphemy/Silence the crooked holy/unchain the tied and bound/No time for allegory/one true reigning sound/Unite the lonely mourning/a simple servant now/We are the only glory/hear us screaming loud/We are young and we are strong/I raise my heart and sing!/That I won't believe this lie/I know there's something more inside/Darkness is all you see/This is our Sweet Blasphemy/We are young and we are strong/Through strength in self we become/Something more than they can be/This is our Sweet Blasphemy/That I won't believe this lie/I know there's something more inside/Darkness is all you see/This is our Sweet Blasphemy

I had just finished the song when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I guess I was singing too loud.

"I'm sorry, was I singing too loud?" I questioned in a very kind voice that I saved for here and my school life.

"No, I just wanted to say that you harmonize perfectly with the lead. The bands looking for a female vocalist. You should audition."

"Thanks err," I didn't know this dudes name. "I'm sorry, but what's your name?"

"Ashley, my name is Ashley."

"Hi, I'm Clare. And thanks for the info but I'm not sure the band would hire me. I'm a fan and all but I'm not sure I'm good enough. I really only started listening to them and other artists like them a couple of weeks ago. Besides, I don't exactly have the requirements for being a singer. I'm working here for money to pay for rent and groceries and such."

"Why? I mean, why do you need the job?"

"Three weeks ago my boyfriend ran away. Now I know it's like the cheesiest thing ever. But he's the love of my life. I was nothing like this before he left. I was the good little Christian girl that could never do anything wrong and defied her parents. He was the Goth boy that didn't believe in God and was the bad boy. Changing after he left just made me feel closer to him. And emotionally, the music kinda kept me sane. I'm taking care of his daughter. She's important. I got kicked out because of it. But I really don't care."

"Well their coming in for a signing. Let them hear you. I'm sure they would love to hear what you just told me," he said and extended his hand. I had been restocking jewelry the whole time and just now looked up at him. And it was Ashley Purdy. The bands bass player.

"Nice to meet you," I blushed.

"Nice to meet you too. I hope I see you at the signing."

"You will. I work here; didn't we just go over that?"

"Oh yeah, we did. Good."

I just met the bass player for the Black Veil Brides. Damn, I bet my ranting was embarrassing. I looked over to the other side of the store and saw the rest of the band sitting at a table just talking and joking around while they waited for the signing to start. I looked at my watch and saw that the signing didn't start for another hour. Oh well. Back to work.

I walked to the front the store just as the signing was starting and let all of the fan girls in. There were a decent amount of fans here. Could I really be good enough to get fans like these?

"Clare," my boss said. "Good job handling having the band in and focusing on work, but I noticed they were coming over to talk to you before the signing started. May I ask why?"

"Yeah. Ashley heard me singing when I was restocking the jewelry when I came in and asked me to audition. The rest of the band just stopped by when I wasn't really busy and asked me about my life here.

"Well let me know if you get in so I can look for someone else to take your place."

"Thanks sooo much Dianne. I gotta go tell the guys that they have fans at the other end of the mall waiting for them."

"Oh my God. Who left a baby in the store? I mean hopefully it was just an accident. But if not, abandoning a baby in a store?" I heard one girl say to her friend.

I heard my baby cry and went and picked her up. "Shhh. Its okay, Isa. Don't cry, momma's here. Shhh. Come on baby. Just please stop crying. Come on. How about Mommy sings you a song. Huh? Is that okay?"

So I thought of a song that would calm her down.

I'm so tired of being here/Suppressed by all my childish fears/And if you have to leave/I wish that you would just leave/'Cause your presence still lingers here/And it won't leave me alone/These wounds won't seem to heal/This pain is just too real/There's just too much that time cannot erase/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears/When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears/And I held your hand through all of these years/But you still have/All of me/You used to captivate me/By your resonating light/Now I'm bound by the life you left behind/Your face it haunts/My once pleasant dreams/Your voice it chased away/All the sanity in me/These wounds won't seem to heal/This pain is just too real/There's just too much that time cannot erase/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears/When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears/And I held your hand through all of these years/But you still have/All of me/I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone/But though you're still with me/I've been alone all along/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears/When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears/And I held your hand through all of these years/But you still have/All of me/

I was met with a huge amount of applause to my song. All that really mattered was that Izzy was asleep. I mean, come on. I wasn't that good.

"That was great, Clare. Do you guys see what I mean? She can make it big time," Ashley said.

"I agree," Jinxx added. "What time do you get off your shift? We'd really like to formally audition you."

"No need," Andy said. "Pack your things. And your kid's. You are coming to L.A. with us."

"Really? You'll take in teenage girl that is pregnant and raising a baby that isn't even related to her? Count me in. This may prove to give a better life to my kids. More room. No more living with Auntie Alli. I get off in five so let me see if I can just leave now and pack."

"Do that. But we need the address where you're staying. That way we can pick you up in the morning," CC said.

"Here. I gotta go. But one question, how will we do my schooling? And I need a work Visa to live in the US."

"Don't worry. Just let us handle all of that.

AN/ I credit in italics Bewitched by Blood on the Dance Floor, Sweet Blasphemy by Black Veil Brides, and My Immortal by Evanescence. REVIEW PLEASE! I decided to edit the way I display the songs. The / represent the next line. This just takes up less space.