Title: Fallen

Author: Lazalot_Anreads

Beta: None

Characters/Pairings: Bella/Jacob

Rating: NC-17

Challenge: None

Summary: Bella is just starting to heal when she is raped, beaten, and left for dead on the side of the road near the reservation. Jacob finds her.

Notes: Rape, New Moon AU

Chapter 008

Entry 005 - Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I haven't slept at all, and it's all Jacob's fault. Who does he think he is, holding his kisses hostage just because he thinks it's too soon for me? If it were too soon for me, I wouldn't have asked him to kiss me in the first place!

I know he means well, I do. But this relationship just ISN'T going to work if he can't trust that I know my own mind. Are we even IN a relationship? I thought so. He claimed me as his Chosen and I claimed him back, and we kissed, but since then he's acted like it never happened. Until I brought it up last night, that is.

Oh, and what a bullshit excuse he gave me when he refused to kiss me! I'd already seen him hard in the shower; I'd even touched his erection! To wash it, that is. The only reason he didn't want to kiss me is because of the rape!

Maybe he really IS disgusted by me. Sure, my naked body still turns him on, but he refuses to touch it in anything but a friendly way. Yeah, he claimed me as his Chosen, but he himself told me he would NEVER try to Mate with me. He said he just didn't want me to be uncomfortable, but he could have been lying.

Maybe I should just leave. Go somewhere far away where nobody knows anything about me and try to rebuild my life.

Jacob, appearing out of nowhere, snatched the pen out of her hand. "There are so many things wrong with what you just wrote that I don't even know where to begin!"

Bella gaped at him. "Who the HELL do you think you are? What I write is nobody's business but mine!" She snatched the pen back and closed the notebook, setting both on the coffee table before standing to face him. "What the FUCK is your problem?"

"MY problem? I don't HAVE a problem! YOU'RE the one that's planning to leave ME!" Though his tone was angry, his eyes were filled with hurt. "Well, I won't LET you!"

"You won't LET me?" Bella crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow at him. "News flash - I don't NEED or WANT your permission! I'm leaving and there isn't a DAMN thing you can do about it!" She spun around, intending to go to their room and get the few things that belonged to her so she could go … wherever.

His hand on her shoulder stopped her, and then Jacob's chest was pressed against her back, his arms wrapped around her. "I don't want to fight anymore." He sounded tired and sad. "PLEASE don't leave me, Bella. I'll do anything you want; just please stay with me."

Bella remained tense in his embrace. "Why should I? I'm just in your way, anyway."

Jacob wished she could feel what was in his heart. Then maybe she would understand how completely his world revolved around her. He didn't know how to put that kind of emotion into words. He squeezed her tighter, scrambling for the perfect words that would make her stay. Unbeknownst to him, a tear escaped his eye and landed on Bella's shoulder.

She softened immediately. "I'll stay on one condition, Jacob."

"ANYTHING!" he said fervently.

"Trust me," she said simply. "I just need you to trust me."

Jacob, who had seen everything she'd written before he lost it and took her pen away, knew exactly what she meant. "I DO trust you. I DO, baby. It's me I don't trust. You're so beautiful and I love you SO much. I'm afraid I'll get carried away if I kiss you again."

Bella finally turned in his arms, tilting her head back to look at him. "If you do, I'll just tell you to stop. I want you to kiss me again SO badly, Jacob. Please?"

He hesitated. Should he? He hadn't been lying when he said that he trusted Bella more than he did himself. Now he had to trust that she would tell him to stop if he went too far. Taking a deep breath, he lowered his lips to hers.

At first it was chaste, just a gentle touch of lips, but then Bella parted her lips and licked his lower lip. With a quiet growl, he let his own tongue out to play, and the kiss became passionate quickly. Bella melted against him, feeling his half hard cock against her stomach and not giving a damn.

A throat cleared, breaking them apart. Embry stood a few feet away, looking amused. "I just came to tell you that I made lunch. It's in the kitchen. I already ate, so I'm going to get back to work on the bathroom." He walked away before either one of them had a chance to say anything.

Bella turned back to Jacob, bright red but smiling widely. "See? We kissed and we're fine, so just relax, okay?"

"Sure, sure," Jacob said huskily.

That night, when they got in the shower, Bella asked for another kiss. "Trust me," she whispered, and pulled his head down. She pressed her wet, naked body against him and moaned, seriously trying Jacob's control.

He pulled his mouth from hers, but couldn't bring himself to separate their bodies. He was hard, but Bella didn't seem to mind. "'Bella, I want to -" He cut himself off abruptly, horrified with himself, tensing and stepping back.

She followed him. "What? What do you want, Jacob? Tell me, PLEASE."

Trapped between the wall and Bella's body, he swallowed hard and closed his eyes. "I want to make you come."

Bella's eyes darkened with desire. "You want to make me feel good, Jacob?"

Helplessly, he replied, "YES."

Keeping her gaze locked with his, she took his hand and pulled it to her center. She bit her lip, rubbing herself against him. "PLEASE."

Jacob just stood there for a minute, completely frozen. GOD, she was wet for him. But could he do this? He'd promised to trust her. Besides, it wasn't like he wanted her to return the favor or anything. He just wanted to make her feel good. "Okay," he said hoarsely.

Two fingers slid inside her easily while his thumb moved to rub small, tight circles around her clit. Unable to help himself, he kissed her again hungrily. She felt so fucking GOOD. "I love you, baby," he whispered against her lips as he began to pump his fingers in and out of her, keeping his thumb on her clit.

Bella gasped into his mouth and ground herself down on his hand. FUCK, it wasn't going to take long. She yanked her mouth from his, throwing her head back in pleasure. "Oh, oh, JACOB!" She came hard with a shout of his name and would have fallen if he hadn't caught her.

"I love you, too," she said when she'd caught her breath. She reached for his erection, but he grabbed her hand. Tilting her head back, she searched his eyes. After a moment, she backed off. "Come on, let's get clean."

That night, when they were in bed in their favorite position, Bella spoke. "I understand that you're not ready for me to touch you. But I'd like to watch you touch yourself, sometime."

His cock hardened instantly, pressing against the small of her back. Jacob growled and put his hand on her hip, encouraging her to turn and face him. She did, and this time it was HIS turn to search HER eyes. Finally, he nodded.

She had wanted them to sleep naked together, so there was nothing to remove. Jacob kicked the sheet off of them and slid his hand to his hard dick, staring blatantly at her bare body. He started to stroke himself, reaching down with his other hand to fondle his balls. "GOD, you're fucking beautiful, Bells."

To his surprise and delight, she started touching herself as well. "Look who's talking, Mr. Perfect," she replied breathily. "FUCK, I just want to lick you ALL over."

He growled, his hand moving fast as he watched her slide her fingers inside of herself. He was wound up too tight to last much longer. "I'm going to come, Bells. Watch me come for you, baby." That said, he squeezed his balls and stroked up HARD, spilling all over himself.

Before he could stop her, Bella moved closer and bent her head to lick him clean. His dick twitched and he shivered, touching her head but making no move to pull her away. "What are you doing?" he asked lazily.

She didn't answer until she'd licked up every drop of his come. Then she looked up. "Savoring you."

He pulled her up, turning on his side and pressing his forehead to hers. "I can't believe I just DID that."

"Get used to it," Bella told him. "If I get my way, you'll be doing it every night. Maybe one of these nights you'll even let me do it for you."

"You're really okay?" Jacob asked seriously. "You're not just pretending?"

Bella looked at him like he was stupid before grabbing his hand and pulling it to her center. "Here, feel for yourself just how much I liked watching you come."

She was drenched. He dipped his fingers inside her and then brought them to his mouth, sucking her juices from them. "Mm. You taste like cream."

Bella ached. She wasn't sure why she was suddenly craving Jacob's touch so much, but she sure as hell LOVED the way his hands felt on her. She bet his mouth would feel even better. "Jacob?"

"Hmm?" Jacob stared at her with black eyes, licking his lips. "What is it, baby?"

She felt her face turn red, but she wasn't going to let a little embarrassment get in the way of what she so desperately NEEDED. "Will you make me come again? With your mouth, this time? I want to feel your tongue on me. PLEASE?"

It was the please that did it. With a low growl, Jacob flipped her onto her back, burying his face in her cunt. He licked and sucked at her until she screamed, yanking his hair, and squirted into his mouth. He groaned at the taste and kept lapping at her until she pulled him up for a kiss.

"GOD, I love you," she said breathlessly when they pulled apart. "We are DEFINITELY making this a nightly ritual."

Jacob's dick twitched again. "Whatever you say, Bells."

"You liked it too, didn't you?" Bella asked, suddenly concerned. "I didn't pressure you too much?"

"Oh, baby." He chuckled. "I loved every second."

"GOOD." Bella cuddled against him. There was a moment of silence, and then she asked, "Do you think Embry heard us?"

"YES!" Embry shouted from his room.

Bella flushed a deep shade of red, but laughed anyway. "Sorry, Embry." She didn't bother to raise her voice.

Jacob just rolled his eyes. "Don't mind Embry. He's just jealous."

"Well, he'll have to find his own girl," Bella said decisively. "I belong to YOU."

Long after she was asleep, Jacob thought about those words and what they meant. Bella Swan belonged to him. She was his to hug and kiss and love. She was his to protect, and if necessary, avenge. Unfortunately, it was necessary.

Tyler Crowley and his friends were going DOWN. Jacob would take them out of life's equation entirely, but he'd make sure that they hurt BAD before he did. If Bella wanted, he'd even let her watch. It would be at least a little bit of closure for her, watching them die.

Jacob stroked his sleeping Chosen's hair and smiled at the ceiling. It wasn't a nice smile. No, this smile was deadly.

Soon.