Chapter Two – Punchline (Bartz)
I walked tentatively over to Warrior of Light. Or WoL, as I call him. He's so serious all the time, like a wall. That's how I pronounce it, anyways. "Hey, Wol!" I chirped, tapping his heavily armored shoulder. "Are you busy?"
He shook his head. I think he wasn't paying attention though. I think he just wanted me to leave. "You want to talk? I'm super bored." I put on my best puppy dog face. I wasn't about to lose to Zidane! Unfortunately, he snapped back to reality.
"Bartz, I'm busy." Ugh.
"Polishing your sword?" Oho, an opportunity presents itself!
"Yes."
"How do you polish your sword, huh? Really slowly?" I grabbed his sword and ran my fingers up it. "Or really quick?"
I don't think he got the reference. "I don't think there's really a speed to polish at."
"Right, right. I guess you just alternate speeds. So it gets really clean." I grabbed the rag and polished his sword suggestively.
He looked impassive. "Bartz, you'll ruin my sword."
"Of course, you want to keep your sword safely in its sheath." Ugh, he wasn't getting it. He probably wasn't inclined to hearing those sorts of jokes. I can just hear Zidane laughing at me! That's probably because he's in the bushes, because we're supposed to watch and see in case someone lied. Someone meaning Zidane, because he's hopeless!
"Anyways." I said, handing his sword back. "Did you have a special someone back in…Cornelia?" He nodded.
"The Princess. She was…very special to me."
"Right, right. I wonder how she would feel about…Cosmos."
"Cosmos?" He looked a little nervous. Aha, one step at a time, Bartz.
"Yeah. I mean, considering how you like her and all. Cosmosssss~" I trilled. He was starting to look uncomfortable. "How do you think the Princess feels about you and Cosmos? I heard that…" Here comes the punchline. "Zidane told me that you and Cosmos were getting it on! Over at the waterfall~" His face turned red! Yes!
"Look, it was just once!" Huh? "And it's not my fault! It's not her fault either!" His face was practically glowing…
"W-what?"
"Look, don't spread it around. I'll give you…" He handed me a Chocobo Feather. "This. It's just kind of…" He trailed off.
"OK?" I blinked a few times. "OK."
"I thought of that on the spot! I didn't really know!" Zidane slapped me, all smiles.
"Looks like you're the one who's been spying~"
"That's not my style, OK?"
"Oho~ Someone's got a little secret of his own~"
"Stop! Anyways, I won this round. Did you really think messing up his hair was gonna work?"
"Well, it was worth it."
"It was worth your black eye?"
"I admit, it did hurt. But that's not what we need to worry about! Alright then, the next challenge is…Frioniel! Let's see…who can steal his lance!"
"Ladies first, Zidane."
"Don't give me the satisfaction of rubbing it in your face!"
A/N: This is turning into a crack-fic.