the ballad of mona lisa

If Axel were to commit suicide, he knew exactly how he'd do it.

He would tell Larxene that he hated the little insect-like pigtails she always wore. She would then make sure to kill him quickly and brutally and no one would even remember he had ever walked the worlds, except maybe Larxene and that was a cold comfort.

They'd known each other, back in the days of humanity. She'd been Ansem's daughter by his first wife, a bratty girl by the name of Arlene who'd made life miserable for Isa and Lea—mostly because she was in love with Lea and didn't find it possible that he might now feel the same way for her.

And, luckily for Axel, she'd been there the day the explosion that had killed Lea and Isa and created Axel and Siax and—well, needless to say Larxene wasn't any less unpleasant than Larxene.

Actually, her ability to kill you with a bolt of lightening made her a bit worse.

"Do you ever think of your father?" Axel asked as he flipped through an old book, bored of Castle Oblivion all ready. He'd had his fun with Sora and now had nothing to do until a few more pieces of the puzzle were revealed to him…

"That old man?" Larxene scoffed. "Of course not. He was never around when I was a human anyway."

"You were never without sea-salt ice cream, though." Axel grinned at her over his book.

She made a face. "I always wanted to live with my mother. But, no, pompous old daddyhas to have me under his control in his giant rust-heap of a castle."

"How lovingly you remember our world." Axel rolled his eyes. Trust Larxene to try and diminish the glory of some of his treasured human memories.

"Did you hate him?" Axel asked, actually curious about the answer. He'd always rather liked the aloof ruler of Radiant Gardens—Ansem the Wise had been fine until he'd blown up their world and killed everything and everyone Axel had loved.

"Hate him?" Larxene raised her eyebrows. "I didn't even waste that much on him."

She walked over to the couch where he was lounging and sat on the armrest, teasing her gloved hand through his long spiky hair. He bit back a grimace.

"You were the only one I liked." She purred. "Back in those days."

Axel swallowed, trying to keep his cool. "I didn't think I was that interesting."

"You weren't." Larxene huffed. "Always too busy with Isa. Guess that's changed now. Siax is a couple worlds away, and I've got you all to my self."

Axel suddenly wished that the keyblade master had actually managed to kill him.