Yet another Zuatara fic. I'll be doing a series soooon!
Zuko stood at the edge of the beach, his feet almost touching the small waves that lapped at the shoreline. It was in the middle of the night, and he couldn't sleep. Everything was just too much. Being Fire Lord, being a husband, being a father...He just felt over whelmed with the abundance of responsibilty that lay out for him. He looked out at the horizon, stars painting the night sky. He closed his eyes and breathed in the cold air.
There was something calming about a cold beach. He never understood why. Maybe because he and Katara shared their first kiss on the cold beach in a random Earth Kingdom Island during the war. That's when their relationship started, whether their teammates knew it or not.
He smiled, thinking of his blue eyed beauty. She, and their child, Roku, were the only things that kept him sane. Even Uncle was starting to stress him out. The tea never helped.
He looked out at the peaceful ocean. It could be so easy to end it all. He could just walk into the water, go deeper and deeper until he hit a drop in the floor, fell, and drowned. He's thought about doing things like that. He would never deny that. Sometimes he felt like if he wasn't in Katara and Roku's life, they'd have it better. Zuko was tempermental, aggressive, and destructive. He really felt like he was turning into the one thing he never wanted to turn into.
He took a step closer, so he was ankle deep in the water. He sighed, tears stinging his eyes. He felt weak when he wanted to cry. Instead of showing that weakness, he would take it out on the nearest object.
Said nearest object would sometimes be Katara. He would lash out if she tried to help him. He would hit her, grab her, and throw her down. He shook his head, as if to rid himself of the memory. He hated himself for ever hurting her, for ever laying a finger on her to hurt her. He was turning into him. He took another step in.
He did pride himself in never using his firebending against her. He had never gotten to that point. His mother had been burned by his father. He saw the marks on her wrists when he was younger, unknowing of what had happened for her to aquire such a scar.
Roku was only a few months old. Zuko felt the boy didn't even love him. He wouldn't remember him if he left now. But Katara...he wouldn't know if she would be depressed or relieved. She always showed him unconditional love, even when he hurt her. But he never knew if she really meant it. It felt real. His wife was a good liar, though.
He took yet another step in, the water was at his calves. His hands twitched at his sides. Would he do it? Can he do it? He had decided his family would be better off. The Fire Nation could somehow scrounge up another Fire Lord that actually didn't fuck things up. Katara wouldn't have to heal herself every week. And Roku would probably have another father to look after him when he was older. He took a deep breath, and was about to move in more when he splashing behind him. His blood ran cold. There was only one person who would go out in the middle of the night to find the Fire Lord. He would never know why.
"Zuko." A soft voice called from directly behind him. He held his breath, hoping his absent answer will make the voice leave. He felt timid hands on his back. They moved up to his shoulders and rest there. He sighed in defeat, and turned around to big, blue orbs staring back at him. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concern.
"What are you-" She started, but Zuko cut her off.
"Why are you here." He demanded. She bit her lip, afraid. He knew she was afraid, and he felt guilty. But he was angry.
"Because I don't want you do to anything...stupid." She cringed at the word, hoping he wouldn't take offense to it. He dropped his eyes to the water below them.
"Why do you care?" He asked. Katara wrung her hands together. Thinking. He could tell she was thinking.
"Because I love you, Zuko." She said, confident in her answer. Zuko's breathing hitched for a second. He looked back into her eyes, yet she was looking into the distance."Why..." He heard himself ask. She looked back at him.
"Excuse me?" She asked.
"Why do you love me?" When she didnt answer, he continued. "I suck at everything. I fuck everything up. I hurt you, our son, the Fire Nation..." He trailed off. Katara's eyes welled up with tears.
"How can you say that?" When Zuko was about to rebuke, she held up her hand. "No, you're going to listen to me. Zuko, I know you get angry. I don't mind that, though. You make up for it, trust me. And I know that's not how it normally works, but we're not normal. You didn't screw up with Roku, he's five months old! He doesn't know anything, he probably adores you. And you've done great things for the Fire Nation, trust me. Through the screw ups and mishaps, you've done well. Better than Ozai ever could have."
Zuko stayed silent, taking in her words. They were quiet for a while. The waves were lapping at their wet clothes. After what seemed like hours, the silence was finally broken.
"I'm...so sorry, Katara." Zuko said. He looked into her tear stricken eyes. He already knew she forgave him, but it didnt feel right. She took a step forward to him and wrapped her arms around his middle.
"I'm not going to give up on you, Zuko. I promise." She said into his shirt, which she was was getting wet with tears. Zuko took there, unable to move. He didn't deserve her, but he knew she won't leave him now. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, and pressed his face into her hair.
"Thank you." He whispered. They stood there, in the freezing water, for so long that Tui and La don't even know. When he embraced her, it felt right and good.
Yeah, short and sad but it worked out in the end! Adiosssssss bitches.