MISSION
Santana sat in the choir room while Jesse rambled off to New Directions about something. She didn't care enough to listen. Frankly she hadn't felt like listening since that Monday back after Rachel's sad attempt at a party. For over a week now, she's been pleasantly deaf. Why? Because St. Hairspray was an asshole. And not just any old asshole but a stupid one on top of it.
After her non-party, Rachel of course played the diligent, desperate ex-girlfriend (Probably looking for more attention. So tragic.) and ran straight to Jesse. She gave him glee's drunken song requests, and he actually sorted through them. Then on the aforementioned Monday, he proceeded to ruin any chance they had at Nationals. First of all he actually took one of Finn's suggestions. Just, what? So yeah, because Hudson's a baby and Rachel's also his diligent and desperate ex-girlfriend, they pitched the idea for "Under Pressure," and the rest of glee was fine with it.
Their other two group numbers were of course led by Rachel in some way. She also got some grand Broadway solo from a musical or something. Which fine, that was expected, but what gave her the automatic right to lead "Mr. Blue Sky" and "Happy Ending" by that Mika guy who's obviously a woman. Really, Santana was just surprised that Rachel wasn't singing all six of their numbers. As it was, Kurt was leading "I Can Do That" from A Line Chorus or whatever it was called. Santana was okay with this one, though, since Brittany was being highlighted with Mike in another one of their epic dances. The remaining number, which she didn't even know what it was, was given to Tina because according to the asshole, Tina was underappreciated.
It hadn't been fun learning that she wasn't one of the main attractions. Sure, she had more to do than others because she was better than they were, but it still wasn't like she was getting her own Nats solo. Clearly this hurt their chances at winning. Truthfully, the last week probably wouldn't have been any better with or without Jesse's lack of skills. Santana was currently in one of her sick-of-everyone-in-glee moods. They were all just doing that…thing again. You know, where they make all their tiny, insignificant problems into a life-threatening situation. So fucking stupid.
Kurt and Blaine were still having their mini-fits over their prom "scandal." Santana didn't ever want to be on Blanderson's side, but really what did Kurt expect? The school to welcome The –ugh– "Klaine" Campaign with open arms? Please. Then there was Froggy Lips and his Hershey's Kisses. Spam was bummed because he couldn't afford to go to school next year and instead he had to get a local Lima job to save up first. Quincy Jones was bummed because she thinks she's special and above OSU at Lima. Whatever, that was like half the school's problem. Anyway, they were actually proving that they were alive by having a minor argument. Sam was trying to point out that Mercedes was at least fortunate enough to go to college. Regardless of it being in Lima. Obviously neither of them wore the pants in their relationship.
As far as the rest of coupledom went, well, she didn't care enough to find out if anything was going on with Asia, but Puck and Zizes were currently giving Santana her smirk of the moment. Apparently Turner and Hooch's run together was coming to an end. Or it would be whenever it was Lauren had to leave this summer to start her wrestling scholarship. It was a travesty, really. Santana was mourning that relationship already. And speaking of things that should have ended before they began, Q and their Berry of the bunch seemed to lose track of their weird ass friendship which just thank God. That was something that needed to be killed with hyperactive hands. Oh, and Artie was still rolling around. He hadn't been doing anything but complaining about the gleeks felt wrong without including him at least once.
The only thing left to mention would be her own relationship with Brittany, but she honestly didn't want to dwell on that right now. B was still going through spouts of frustration every time prom was brought up. She still wanted Santana to run with her despite the fact that all of the candidates had been decided. But what was she supposed to do? Design some memorable coming-out celebration where her entire class is gathered. Um no, because her life wasn't a movie. They were so close to graduation and leaving this hellhole. Once they're gone, she can come out all she wants. Then everyone who actually gets stuck here can gossip until their hearts were content while she was thousands of miles away.
"We should have an auction." Brittany interrupted Santana's deafness.
Santana just frowned. Sometimes she just didn't get Brittany's random.
"For what?" She asked the other girl and gained some looks from the rest of her teammates. She rolled her eyes at all of them. "Fine, so I wasn't listening. Sue me."
Asshole huffed at her before (re) explaining. "Figgins doesn't have money so if we want to go to Nationals, we need to have a fundraiser or just happen upon our finances elsewhere."
"The usual." Artie joked.
"Yeah, so we could like auction ourselves off for dates." Brittany repeated. "They do it all the time on TV."
"B, I don't think that'll work." Santana told the other girl slowly in order not to upset her. "The only ones people would buy dates for are me, you, and probably Puckerman. Most of this club is considered losers, the rest no one pays attention to, and everyone else is gay."
"Santana, you're gay." Blaine told her needlessly because yeah, obviously she forgot.
"I'm also flawless, and everyone loves me. Do you know how many people would pay to have sex with me?"
"Well at least someone knows their future career path." Mercedes gibed.
"Not to agree with someone who apparently thinks going on a date automatically equals sex, but Santana has a point." Kurt sighed over agreeing with her. "Brittany, I'm sorry, but no one would pay to go out with us."
"Maybe I can start a kissing booth again." Finn tossed out.
Mike frowned. "It's not Valentine's Day."
"And didn't that turn out to be a disaster?" Tina continued after her boyfriend.
"Not financially." Finn reminded.
"Yeah, but that was after you won the big game, and people actually thought you were cool." Sam recalled before offering a careless shrug. "Now you're just that guy in glee who lost his lead spot."
"Maybe we can ask Mr. Ryerson for another handout." Artie suggested.
Puck nodded. "Or at least some cupcake ingredients."
"We could have a casino night." Lauren interrupted. "Charities rip people off with that type of thing all the time."
"And where are we going to get the money to host one of these fancy get-togethers?" Jesse questioned pointedly. "It's a good idea. It's just not something we can accomplish."
"So I guess poker night's out?"
"We could sell tickets to another private showcase in the auditorium." Rachel offered.
Mercedes chuckled. "Because that worked so well the last time we did it?"
"Fine. Then what about a community carwash? That actually worked. Sort of."
"Because Coach gave you her cheerios." Santana reminded her spitefully.
Jesse cracked his neck before looking down at Quinn. She was busy being helpful by ignoring all of this and doing homework. "Any ideas?" He asked her.
"Hitch-hiking's free." Quinn answered, not looking up from her book.
Jesse rolled his eyes at her facetiousness. "Well we need to come up with something."
"I really think a carwash is our best bet." Rachel continued on. "Adults love to help out children in need. It won't have anything to do with the students at our school which means we can actually expect some success."
"And how much will that garner because remember, it's not just a bus trip." Jesse challenged her. "It's fifteen airplane tickets and a couple of hotel rooms."
"Look," Puck gained everyone's attention, "a special bake sale is a guaranteed couple of hundred bucks. Maybe over a thousand if we make enough snacks and run it all week instead of one day."
Jesse shook his head as his club continued throwing around ideas. They needed somewhere between $2,500 and $3,000 depending on what plane they took and how hotel prices may have changed since last year. This was much more troubling than a couple hundred bucks for a bus and its gas.
"Let's just do everything." Jesse announced.
Tina frowned for all of them. "Uh…what?"
"Pick a fundraiser. Earn some money. Help Puck with his bake sale and be there for Rachel's carwash this weekend." He looked to the girl. "Is that enough time?" She nodded. "Terrific. Problem solved. We'll keep looking for cash until we have enough."
Jesse wasn't ever someone to give into the impulse of anger. He became frustrated quite often, and yes he felt anger, but he enjoyed saving that for the bright lights of the stage. Anger was passion, and passion made a performance have life. Otherwise it would just be an empty shell. Outside of using it as something else, anger never solved any problems. Usually it was something that caused them. Plus, if he was being honest, he always wanted to appear being above such barbarous emotions. He dressed in designer wear and had a smart phone. Unless it was white-collar-stock-market-crashing anger, it was below him. Yet, if there was ever a time for him to be a little bit angry, it would be now.
He was angry with Quinn for several things, the main one being that she disregarded his advice prior to Rachel's party. He was angry with Rachel for even giving him a reason to hand out advice in the first place. And he was, well, no. He wasn't angry with himself because that would imply he felt as if he did something wrong which he didn't. He did, however, feel like he could have perhaps done more. Because Rachel's been walking around with a wounded look for that last week, and Quinn's been retreating into the mindset of internalizing everything again which was the one thing he didn't want to have happen. He wasn't sure what exactly caused all of this because Quinn has been vague, but he was pissed about whatever it was. He obviously wasn't going to take this out on himself as he wasn't a martyr (idiots), and since he wasn't going to take this out on Quinn because that would only make everything worse, that only left Rachel.
He didn't like the idea of contending with her. She was Rachel. His Rachel. It was rather a surreal position to put himself in. But it needed to be done. Rachel continued to make it clear that whatever was going on between her and Quinn was not his business which yeah right. She was refusing to listen to his reasoning on why she should leave Quinn be. And –and– she started it. So like any commander-in-chief would do, Jesse was going to assemble his own little army. This would ensure that he would win. Quinn would also be provided with protection so he could take the time to get her to start opening up again. And he would win.
"I'd like to thank all of you for meeting me here today." Jesse looked over his table at the Lima Bean.
Kurt stirred his coffee, dismissing Jesse's attempt at manners. "Don't thank us until you tell us why we're here."
"Fair enough. As a result of some current events, I saw it fit for an emergency meeting with Team LGBT. That's you in case you were wondering. We have our lesbian and our gays and our bisexual." He looked over Santana, Blaine, Kurt, and Brittany seated in front of him. "I couldn't find a transgender, though. Surprisingly McKinley High doesn't have one. I could have sworn there was a transgender faculty member. I thought it was a requirement in populated social circles." He shook off his confusion. "Anyhow, I thought that since we perhaps have a gay to spare, one of you wouldn't mind wearing this wig." He held up the piece he stole from the old drama department. Blaine and Kurt ignored him, but Brittany was quick to put the dark, faux hair on.
Blaine turned to Kurt. "That was incredibly offensive, right?"
He gave him a swift nod before facing what brought them here once more. "What are we doing here, Jesse?"
"Now I'd like you all to keep in mind that I wouldn't even be telling any of you this if we weren't in drastic times." He began.
"Drastic like the world is ending which would actually be good news or drastic like your hair is out of place?" Santana questioned.
"Drastic as in Nationals might suffer on account of the fact that Rachel and Quinn are incapable of acting like sane and stable adults."
Santana scowled, turning to those sitting on her side of the table. "Why do they always do this? Sure, Finnona's been involved a few times. Puck's been a problem once and so has this jackass," she pointed to Jesse who ignored this by drinking his coffee, "but every competition that has a problem is always their fault."
Brittany nodded along with Santana's rant. "We should totally kick them out."
"We can't." Kurt refuted. "Rachel's too talented."
"Well then can't we just punch her in the throat?" Santana offered Kurt instead. "If we close our eyes, you sound just like her."
Jesse cleared his throat until they all looked back over at him. "Oh good, you're back." He grinned spitefully. "Here's the deal, Quinn denies everything, and Rachel's delusional enough to believe that she returns Quinn's feelings. Yes, I said feelings. I understand that this might be shocking for you. Please take your time." He finished off impassively, reading the inspirational quote on his coffee cup.
"Not really."
"Kinda boring."
"I don't believe you."
"Oh my god."
Jesse sighed. "It's true, it is boring, and it's a problem."
"Hi." Kurt waved his hand in front of Jesse's face. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous this sounds? Why don't you just tell us what it is you really called us here for, and then we can all be on our merry way?"
"Oh I'm well aware." Jesse informed pejoratively. "But that doesn't change the fact that I need your help in order to stop this before it really starts."
"Before what starts?" Brittany asked.
"Rachel and Quinn from now on being introduced as Rachel and Quinn."
Brittany frowned further. "Are we supposed call them something else?"
"No, I think he means them being in a relationship." Blaine explained to her and then frowned himself. "That just sounds weird."
"Good, keep that in mind." Jesse advised. "It will help you help me."
"I don't see how this has anything to do with us." Blaine shot him down. "If you want us to talk to them because you think it may help them with what they may be going through, then we could provide support."
"God no. I want you, being gay, to talk to Rachel and make her realize that her supposed feelings for Quinn are misplaced idolization."
"And our sexuality has to do with this how?" Kurt pulled the focus back over to him. "It's doubtful either of them have romantic intentions toward one another. How did you even come to this conclusion anyway?"
"Well I didn't come to this conclusion on Rachel at all. It came as quite the surprise as you can imagine."
"And Quinn?" Kurt delved further.
"What about Quinn?"
"How did you come to this conclusion on Quinn?" Blaine clarified since Jesse genuinely seemed confused by the question.
"More like how didn't I? In fact, how didn't any of you? You know what, don't answer that." It wasn't that hard to figure out. Quinn hid things that no one cared enough to look for.
"So Q and Berry want to get down and dirty. Gross. But why did we have to come here?" Santana asked, annoyed. "Because I could think of twenty different things me and Britts could be doing right now."
"Were you not even listening to me?" Jesse returned, just as irritated. "To some degree you are all gay which means to some degree you can relate to these current circumstances. I think the problem I was having with getting through to them was that they now see me and my heterosexuality as being inferior." Kurt rubbed over his temples at this. If he never sees Jesse St. James after he graduates, it will only be too soon. "They might listen to you. Or more specifically Rachel might listen to you. Actually, I think it'd be best if you completely disregarded Quinn in all of this. Leave her instability to me."
"But I still don't get why this is a bad thing." Brittany earned herself a look of Jesse's skepticism.
"Yeah. Are you sure this really is a possible glee disaster?" Blaine continued Brittany's inquiry. "Because you might just be freaking out because you're still not over Rachel."
"Hardly. Rachel's not my concern. I'm in Quinn's corner which means I'm actually at war with Rachel right now." He stopped and chuckled over this slightly. "I did not predict any of this at the beginning of the year."
"Wait." Brittany stopped him. "They're fighting too?"
"Hmm? Oh, no. But Rachel's being selfish." He told her. "So will you help?" He asked the table.
"Look, I've always thought you were a tad insane, but now you've crossed into Sylvester territory." Kurt admonished. "Whatever it is you think is going on, I'm sure comes from your own paranoia, and I'm staying out of it."
"I agree." Blaine nodded. "I don't think it's our business unless it's offering a supportive hand."
"I still have no idea what anyone's really talking about." Brittany announced. "Except now I know Rachel and Quinn are dating."
"They're not-" Jesse cut himself short with an exhale before turning to Santana. "And where does your opinion reside?"
"I am all for breaking them up." She answered easily.
"Again, they're not actually together."
"Who cares, it still makes them miserable."
Jesse frowned at Santana's words. He wasn't trying to hurt either of them. That was the opposite of his intent. "No it doesn't. This is to help Quinn."
"Yeah, call it what you want."
"She says potato, I say tomato." Brittany shared a smile with her girlfriend.
Jesse interrupted their moment as he looked back at Santana. "Apparently this all rests on you and me. Don't screw up." Jesse directed as he stood to leave the table.
"So who's thinking what I'm thinking?" Santana asked the table as soon as Jesse was out of sight.
Brittany grinned. "That we could go on triple dates?"
Kurt simply rolled his eyes. "That Jesse is probably dead wrong?"
"That we should maybe help them?" Blaine concluded.
Santana scrutinized their answers. "What? No." She glared momentarily. "I was thinking that we should have a little fun of our own." She arched an eyebrow. They didn't seem to share her enthusiasm.
Whatever. This was going to be great. No way was she going to use her gay insight to help Q and her Berry pie. Why? Because there were too many jokes like that one that needed to be made. Getting anyone's panties in a twist was a delight. And Quinn and Rachel were targets that have always heightened her euphoria. Now that she was given free ammo, please. Seriously. Best week ever.
It was decided that they'd spend the rest of the week running their fundraisers. Puck, Lauren, Finn, and Santana continued their rein of deviance and made Puck's recipe for never-ending hunger. Their bake sale only ran two days in the cafeteria since by the third day even McKinley's dumbest students caught on. (Of course the normal stoners bought up the difference so the loss wasn't even that great.) After glee rehearsals, Jesse had been taking Artie on small trips out of town to run some homeless kid in a wheelchair scam. Everyone else helped Rachel set up the carwash in some way. Quinn, Mercedes, and Blaine made the flyers and spent the last couple of days sticking them under windshield wipers. Mike, Brittany, and Tina picked up the supplies they'd need to actually wash the cars. Sam and Rachel sought out the perfect location, and Kurt borrowed the colored flags from his dad's tire shop to draw attention to their carwash.
When Saturday morning arrived, New Directions started up their carwash at nine in the morning. The location they found was on the opposite side of town than McKinley was. They did this in order to avoid the same thing they spent every day in school avoiding. So far they hadn't encountered any problems or familiar faces so they were gradually viewing it as a success. They worked in small teams of three, efficiently getting through all the cars they could. Since it was Rachel who set everything up it was, as expected, organized. She even broke into their wardrobe budget so she could design colorful t-shirts that said "New Directions" on them for today.
"Careful, Bland." Santana threw her sponge at him. "Soap's flying everywhere." She winked, sauntering past him.
Blaine wiped his arm off, sending Santana some type of glare. She had been playful the last few days. But Santana's playful was a cat's idea of playing with a mouse. Not exactly something to look forward to. He had been sidetracked by their fundraising, but that didn't mean he stopped paying attention to Santana's actions. Kurt was indifferent to the meeting they all shared with Jesse and Brittany probably didn't know exactly what was going on and Santana surprisingly hadn't done anything. Yet. Because she was clearly marinating up some wicked plot. Or at least that was what Blaine suspected. He didn't have any proof of this, but he wasn't about to overlook anything.
He was already concerned for Rachel enough as it is. He really wanted to talk to her or at least let her know that she had someone to talk to. Working through your sexuality can be confusing enough, and Quinn apparently had Jesse to talk to but where did that leave Rachel? And Blaine could relate. Sort of. And hey, she did help him figure out that he was 100% gay. He could be that friend for her. And he could definitely keep a watchful eye on Santana for her. Like right now for instance. Because Santana was clearly heading in Rachel's direction. So if things got out of hand, he'd be around to interrupt. Honestly, this whole thing would have been a lot easier if Jesse had left Santana (and probably Brittany) out of the equation.
Santana strolled through the lineup of cars that New Directions were cleaning. She stopped at a car that had a blonde working at it before slinging her arm over said blonde's shoulders. She guided a confused Quinn down to another car before mimicking her actions with Rachel.
Santana let out the pleasantest and phoniest of sighs. "It's such a nice day."
Quinn knocked Santana's arm off her shoulder as Rachel snuck out from under her other one. In less than a minute, Santana would say something insinuating and frustrating. It had been happening too much for Quinn's liking this week.
Quinn crossed her arms. "What do you want?"
"Q." Santana feigned offense. "Is that any way to talk to a friend who's only looking to have a friendly conversation?"
Rachel sent a knowing glance Quinn's way. Quinn returned the look with a slight shake of the head at whatever it was Santana was about to say. Rachel smiled slightly. At least they were still on the same page with something.
"I mean this might be a turning point for me." Santana continued on as expected and regained their attention. "I might be embarking on the road to benevolence. Where there will be no violence." See, she remembered those vocab study sheets. "Not that violence is always a bad thing. Cause seriously, I don't know about you, but two guys beating the crap out of each other: Total turn on. It still gets me all wound up." Santana watched for their reactions. Apparently the ground and area around them was more interesting than the topic on hand. Honestly, flustering these two was quickly becoming her favoritest hobby. "Wow. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was you two that were the lesbians." She grinned further.
"Go wash a car, Santana." Quinn glared harshly before walking back in the direction of the car her group was currently working on.
Santana chuckled quietly at how simple it was to rile everyone up. Rachel opted to ignore Santana's continued and troubling existence in order to follow after Quinn.
"Quinn." She turned her around. "I was wondering if we could talk."
"Now?" Quinn frowned and looked over their line of cars to make her point.
"After the carwash?" Rachel offered instead.
Quinn nodded slowly. "We'll see." She finished heading over to the car Santana dragged her away from.
Rachel could only sigh. That was Quinn's version of a no.
"Damn Berry, that was pretty rude of Q. You must have really done something to piss her off."
Rachel sighed further upon hearing Santana's mocking voice behind her. She took a deep breath and put on her best showface before turning back around. "Can I assist you in something, Santana?"
"No." Santana answered easily, politely even which only did more to make Rachel wary. Santana didn't ever display manners with honest intentions. "Not to compliment you or anything because you still look like a twelve year-old, but this was actually a good idea."
"Well, thank you." Rachel answered slowly and looked to head back to her car, hoping this was over. It wasn't.
"Of course, I would have made a couple changes here or there."
Rachel gnawed on her lip. "Oh? Like what?"
"Well like for one, we're all wearing way too many clothes. Now I don't think we all need to shed clothing. No one needs to see Zizes or Wheezy in anything less than brightly colored hoodies. Artie should never be allowed to remove one of those god-awful sweater vests. And yeah, as I know firsthand, Finn shouldn't ever take his shirt off unless he and his b-cup want to be arrested for indecent exposure." She performed her patented scoff and eye-roll. "But the rest of us, I'm not too sure about you and Margaret Cho because I have no idea what either of you are hiding under all that hideous clothing you both wear, but me and B are solid as I'm sure you've taken notice to in the past given your recent foray into obvious lesbianism." Rachel opened her mouth to argue, but Santana never stopped between sentences. "Puckerman is super fine and Mike and Sammy Boy can strip down anytime as far as I'm concerned, and keep in mind I haven't been interested in the Y chromosome for over a year now. Plus, there's Quinn. I mean, I'm sure her skin looks like stretched out cellophane after that whole baby debacle, but still. Once a cheerio always a cheerio. And I'm sure I wouldn't be the only one looking." She slowly let the smirk overtake her face. "What about you, Berry? Would you be one of the ones looking?"
Santana patiently waited for Rachel not to answer. Obviously she wasn't going to answer. It was too easy.
"I think it's intrusive to be talking about our glee teammates like this. And we're falling behind." Rachel scurried back toward the car she was supposed to be helping to wash.
"That wasn't a denial." Santana called after her, smirk ever in place. So damn easy.
"Why don't you just leave them alone?"
"Because this is too much fun." Santana turned around, smiling now at her girlfriend. "Just the idea of Quinn jumping into a relationship with Rachel Berry is worth a good, long laugh."
"Why?" Brittany returned innocently.
"Because it's Q. And Rachel."
"And?" Brittany asked, tone not changing.
"Come on. Quinn suddenly figuring out that she'd rather eat fish than meat." Santana noticed Brittany's confusion. "That she likes girls, B." She clarified, lowering her voice in case anyone was around. Despite her current fun, Santana wasn't into that whole accidently-outing-someone-scene. "It's just weird."
"Why? It wasn't weird when you figured out that you liked girls." Brittany returned simply and to Santana's chagrin, at a normal volume. "So why should it be weird if Quinn did too? I mean, the three of us used to hang out all the time. Maybe we gained our lady-loving skills together." She paused. "Either that or Quinn's totally a copy-cat."
Santana led them a little farther away from the line of cars so they could talk openly without worry. "It's weird because Quinn captained the celibacy club, and she never let any of her boyfriends get past second base. Plus, she got drunk and pregnant which I'm pretty sure is some F'ed up teen-lesbo statistic."
Brittany only frowned. "But that doesn't sound weird at all. That sounds the opposite of weird."
"Yeah, which is it's so weird. And she's like the female version of Karofsky. I can't deal with another one of those."
"Well you don't have to. Just like you don't have to be mean to Quinn and Rachel."
"I'm not being mean. I'm just being…spunky. It's all part of my charm. I'm just teasing them. You can relax, it's not like I'm sending them into years of therapy."
"Well I don't think you should." Brittany shrugged. "Rachel's never actually done anything to you, and Quinn helped you sing to me when you asked me to be your girlfriend. So yeah, Santana, what you're doing is mean."
"So what? Now you're mad at me. More?"
"No, and like I already told you, I'm not mad about prom or anything else."
Santana took a moment to cool her temper. "Please don't lie to me." She took a step closer, this time to talk quietly, well, just because. "You might not be mad, but I know you're disappointed that you're running for Prom Queen alone. And I know you want the full prom experience, but we can't do all of that."
"Are you even going to dance with me?" Brittany pouted.
"Britt-"
"Because if you're worried about what people will think, friends dance with each other all the time. People could just think we're friends. Like I've danced with Mike hundreds of times."
"That's different."
"Because he's a boy?"
"Yeah."
Brittany sighed. "Santana, not everyone is looking at you. You can dance with me at our prom. No one will care."
"Someone always cares. In a town like Lima, in the middle of nowhere, someone always cares. It's just one of the many reasons why this place sucks."
"Lima's home." Brittany frowned again. She knew Lima wasn't awesome like Bedrock or anything because duh, but she still never liked it when Santana made it seem like it was the worst place ever.
"No, Lima's some dump we got stuck being raised in."
"I don't think so." She shook her head and ended the conversation by going back to the cars they were supposed to be attending to. Santana took a moment before following after her.
As Santana and Brittany quietly returned to their car, Quinn refrained from pulling Santana back away from it. They needed to have one of those conversations of manipulation that were full of half-truths so she could find out what exactly Santana knew. She knew something, and that was going to be a problem. Well, another problem.
Instead, Quinn just turned back to her own car, thinking about another one of those problems. "Do you think I should talk to her?"
"Her who?" Jesse returned, rinsing off the car. She liked this set up. Jesse paying more attention to a car than their conversation made it much easier to talk to him without starting any arguments.
"Rachel." She answered him overtly.
"Oh, her. I think it's your decision. Don't let Rachel force you into doing anything you don't want to. And she'll do it to. She's ruthless enough. It's something to both admire and loath at the same time."
Quinn shook her head, amused. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you sounded angry with her."
"Of course I am. I'm on your side in this."
"Side? Jesse, there are no sides."
"Sure there are. When it comes to matters of the heart, there are always sides."
"Yes, but this is Rachel."
"Right, and despite the fact her talent can make one weep and that on paper I still believe we're clearly destined to be together, I'm not going to take Rachel's more nefarious side for granted. Besides, she's obviously not in her right mind at the moment. If given the ultimatum, she'd currently choose you over me."
She chuckled. "I appreciate it. Really. But I can handle Rachel on my own."
"This coming from the girl who's currently in the middle of asking for my advice."
"Fine. Forget I asked."
"Good. Know what you're going to do?"
"Nope."
"Excellent. I'm sure this will work out perfectly." He joked. "Not at all a disaster."
By late afternoon, Rachel was very close to celebrating. Vocally. As Artie was keeping track, between today and their previous earnings, they had matched their minimum. Now they were just looking for insurance. And who knows, maybe they could use any leftover money for some classic New York tourism. They'll actually be prepared this year, so they might have some free time that didn't cut into writing songs. Not that they could get too far off course, though. She wouldn't allow it. Even though Jesse seemed cross with her at the moment, he was still placing the responsibility on her shoulders as he should. She was featured prominently in all three Nationals sets, taking lead in the first two sets' group numbers and given a solo for the finale. As Jesse had told her privately, her solo was going to be what put them over the edge to win. She was very excited about being able to perform "The Man That Got Away." Even with the tragic ending, A Star Is Born is one of her all-time favorite films. Well, all three versions were on her favorites list if she wanted to be precise about it.
Admittedly, she was concerned that Jesse's current bias against her would have caused him to be reluctant in giving her opportunities to shine at Nationals. She should have remembered that he never let his emotions have an effect when it comes to competitions; even if it results with egg on her face. Literally. He had been candid with her as of late. (More so than usual.) It didn't take her advanced problem solving skills to figure out it was on Quinn's behalf. Normally, this would indicate that Quinn was also mad at her. But despite the fact that in retrospect it made sense, Quinn hadn't actually seemed angry about anything. She had just been distancing herself. Frankly, this couldn't become a pattern. Quinn couldn't just keep letting something unnerve her and then avoid it until she ultimately worked through whatever it was. Particularly when that something was Rachel. It just simply wasn't going to work for her. But at the same time, she couldn't just corner Quinn into facing her either. That would result in yet another backslide.
"So we did pretty well today." Blaine approached the car Rachel was currently washing. He moved to the front and began helping her.
"Yes." Rachel grinned brightly. "Now the only thing that could stop us from going and winning Nationals is us, and since we don't want to do that, I'm fully confident in the fact that we'll be taking first place. It will be the perfect way to close out our high school careers."
"And to move on to our career's next facet."
"Exactly. But we'll definitely need to motivate everyone else into thinking this way because not to name names, but some people just don't share our outlook or enthusiasm."
"We'll work on it." He laughed softly for a moment before changing the subject. "So how have you been, Rachel?"
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing." He shrugged. "You just haven't seemed your usual self."
"I guess I've been a little distracted, yes."
"Is this about Quinn?" He tried and watched her pause in her motions for a second before starting back up again. "You know I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything."
"Thanks, but I'm afraid the only person I need to talk to right now would be Quinn."
"She's not speaking with you?"
"No, we're on speaking terms. I've just…I've pushed her. Either that or Santana's correct in her assumption, and I've done something to anger Quinn."
"You shouldn't listen to Santana. In fact, you should just avoid her."
"It's not like I don't try." Santana Lopez has been someone she's rarely sought out in life. "She happens to very persistent lately."
"Ignore her." He reiterated. "As for Quinn, talk to her. If that's what you think you should do, what's stopping you?"
She stopped working on the car and stood up straight. "Fear of rejection. Putting Quinn into fight-or-flight mode. Jesse's constant interference. Quinn's excuses. My own neurosis. Unanswered questions. General uncertainties."
"Okay, that's more than I expected." Blaine paused, thinking Rachel's words over. "Look Rachel, I always feel it's best to talk in these situations."
"What situations?" Rachel narrowed her eyes. She may have been somewhat on edge lately with Santana's continued indications of knowing something more.
He quickly thought up a response that wouldn't overwhelm her. "Having a disagreement with a friend. I mean, you and Quinn are friends, right?"
"Yes, of course." She quickly answered confidently but then lost her poise because what if Quinn's feelings changed that? "Hopefully."
"Well then talk to her. And like I said, I'm always here if you want to talk to someone else."
"I suppose." She drawled, thinking aloud now. "And I do want to talk with her. It's just I've never exactly enjoyed these emotional conversations with her. Particularly when she's unwilling."
"Karofsky?"
"Well I don't see what he has to do with anything. Though, according to Kurt, he does maintain his own defensive nature which I guess is relatable t-"
"No." Blaine turned her around to see the loitering boy.
"Oh. Hello, David." She greeted. "Have you come to support your former team? The one you carelessly quit before one of its most important competitions of the year? It would be a nice gesture on your part."
"Rachel," was all he gave as a response.
Blaine observed Karofsky shift uncomfortably. He looked back to Rachel. "Weren't you going to talk to Quinn?"
"Now?" She frowned and pointed at the car. "But the-" Blaine just took her sponge away and handed it to a confused Karofsky.
"If not now, when?" He challenged.
"Okay, but if something goes wrong, I'm blaming you."
"Deal."
Rachel turned from her friend and looked over at Karofsky. "Dave." She walked past him.
"Rachel." He returned once again as she left them alone.
Blaine looked away from her retreating form and up to Karofsky. "So what are you doing here?"
He pointed to the next lane over that had Mike and Tina washing a car. "My dad got one of your flyers on his windshield the other day. He made me come." He explained, tossing the sponge onto the car and shoving his hands into his pockets. He then began to take in the surrounding area, still uncomfortable as ever.
"You can relax." Blaine told him. "It's not like anyone is going to see you with us. You're the first person we've had from McKinley all day."
"Whatever."
"Unless that's not what you're concerned about."
"I'm not concerned about anything."
"Really? So you're not worried about what you might be missing out on?"
"Oh yeah, this looks like tons of fun." Karofsky joked.
"And yet you're here."
"Like I said, my dad made me come."
"Okay." He said simply before dumping a bucket over the car to begin rinsing it. "But just in case you were interested in what we've been up to, we're busy practicing for Nationals which are close enough to get excited about but still far enough away to learn the numbers. Say if someone didn't know them for instance."
Dave glared. "I'm not rejoining glee."
Blaine carefully set down the empty bucket and stepped a little closer to talk quietly. "Why not? Ever since you quit, you've been wandering around the school like a zombie. You've avoided all of us. You haven't gone back to your old friends. You've just kind of become invisible. You can't be happier than before you left. Do you really think this will even matter after high school?"
"Look, if this is gonna be another speech telling me to come out, you can save it. Kurt already tried it."
"Months ago and I'm not Kurt. I don't have perfect parents like him or the supportive brother. I like football, and though I know most of them, I still don't know every possible detail about every fashion mogul to date."
"Oh so what? Now that we have so much in common we can become gay bros?" Karofsky quipped sarcastically. "Hey, I know. Let's go shopping." He put on his best effeminate attitude. Blaine ignored this.
"I just meant that Kurt is…" He trailed off with a smile. "He can be very cynical sometimes; rightfully so. But then there are other things that he's completely hopeful about. I think he has a tendency to want to see the best in certain things. Which is why he tries to get you to be yourself or he campaigns us for prom or he tries-"
"Yeah, you two are dumbasses for doing that."
Blaine chuckled lightly. "I agree."
"Then why are you doing it?"
Blaine gave a half-shrug. "Because when you love someone, you support them. Bad decisions and all."
"Well good luck with that. But if I were you, I wouldn't even go to prom."
"Is that a threat?"
"Not mine." He informed purposely before someone he actually enjoyed caught his eye over Blaine's shoulder. Karofsky left Blaine with his thoughts as he joined a lazy looking Santana.
Rachel prowled through the parking lot and found Quinn by the refreshment stand they set up for the car owners of the day. By now, everything was almost gone which made sense since after these last few cars, their job here was probably done.
"Quinn." She gained the other girl's attention. "Our customers are dwindling and neither of us has anything do which means you have no more excuses, and we need to talk."
"Alright."
Rachel faltered at Quinn's immediate acquiesce but collected herself and nodded once. "Good."
She led them both away from the commotion they've been a part of all day. The space she had found with Sam was an abandoned old gas station. One that had dried up years ago and looked straight out of a really bad road trip film. So Rachel thought it'd be best to talk to Quinn in private and walked her around the back of the unused building. Once there, they took a seat down on a cracked parking turtarrier.
Rachel carefully placed her hand over Quinn's resting in the space between them. "You tensed." She stated, pulling her hand away. Quinn took the opportunity to tuck both of her hands away in her lap. "So you are upset with me."
"I'm not mad."
"I'm sorry for whatever it was that I said or did, Quinn."
Quinn swallowed once as she nodded. "If we talk, then we need to do so honestly which means you need to believe me when I say I'm not mad at you." She took a moment to compose herself and remember the conclusion she came to a couple of hours ago: They needed to have this talk. "You have to understand that this is difficult for me."
"Talking?" Rachel giggled lightly. Quinn remained silent. Whether it was to prove her point or because she didn't have a comeback, Rachel wasn't sure. But what she was sure of was that if this was going to happen, she was going to have to start it. "Well, what are you thinking about right now?"
"I'm thinking that I wish you were as smart as Jesse was because then you never would have figured any of this out."
"So you really never would have told me?"
She shook her head. "You knowing makes everything exceptionally harder."
"I'm sorry." Quinn shrugged in response. Rachel took a deep breath and figured it'd be better to continue with her questioning than wait for Quinn to open up. "As you've probably guessed, I've been thinking about everything, and one of the things I've been wondering about was how long have you felt this way about me? Or more specifically, when did you figure out that your feelings were of the romantic nature?"
Quinn sat on edge upon Rachel's bluntness. She expected it, sure, but that didn't mean she was prepared for it. "Those are two very different questions. Neither of which I have an exact answer to." She paused. "I'm still…I think you think that it's your time to sort through everything and that my feelings for you are definite. And while I do know that much, the precise details…I'm still processing. You know, like I keep going back and thinking over things from the last three years to compare and—Why are you smiling?"
"Because I've finally heard you say you like me. It's not the same as hearing it from a third party." She explained effortlessly but then let everything else catch up to her as she lost her beam. "Wait. Years? Quinn…but that would mean-"
"I don't know. And I don't want to." She answered the questions before they came. "At least not at the moment." Knowing everything would solidify everything. And she still didn't know how to deal with the idea that every encounter with Rachel or thought about the girl up until now might have meant something entirely different. It changed too much too quickly. Plus, working through possible past denials when she still had current ones felt like running on a hamster wheel.
"Okay."
"You've got more questions." Quinn stated knowingly.
"Yes, but they don't all have to be answered today. We can continue this at another-"
Quinn turned to look at Rachel again. "Can I ask you something?" Though surprised at Quinn's continuance, Rachel found herself nodding. "Why are you happy about all of this? Are you just flattered that someone likes you or is it because I like you?"
"Both." Rachel said simply, without hesitation. "I won't pretend that my ego doesn't enjoy being stroked. You're gorgeous and intelligent and you were popular and the head cheerleader who had the star quarterback. For a portion of our high school lives, you were that girl. The one everyone dreams of being when entering into freshman year. And her falling for me? Anyone in my position would be beyond flattered and complacent even." She paused for a moment. "But you're also Quinn. One of the first people outside of my parents to tell me that I belonged somewhere that isn't here. The same girl I've fought with a countless amount of times over Finn and who knows what else. Someone I've grown with over the last four years. And Quinn, that's not flattering." She smiled. "That's…promising."
"So um…" Quinn cleared her throat. "What exactly do you want?" She asked fearfully. Rachel could not have this answer. She just couldn't. There was no way Quinn could handle Rachel wanting something with her right now.
"I don't know. That's as far as I've gotten." She explained and then watched as relief seemed to wash over Quinn. "Much like yourself, I seem to currently have more questions than answers. It's clear we both have some exploring to do. And I need to do that before I can tell you what I may or may not want."
"So do I."
"Okay and look, no matter what we conclude, you don't have to be ready for anything, Quinn. I don't want to pressure you."
"You're not." She told her quickly. Rachel just looked at her with amusement.
"You've had dread on your face for the better part of the last five minutes."
Quinn glanced down, embarrassed. "Sorry."
They allowed things to get quiet for a moment which was a mistake. Rachel could tell Quinn was thinking too much. It was actually troubling her to watch this. Quinn needed some type of distraction.
Rachel scooted closer to her on the block of concrete. "So." She grinned brightly. "What's your favorite thing about me?" Quinn thankfully laughed at this. Rachel merely continued on. "You know, is it my dazzling smile? My unmatchable talent? Determination to succeed? Never-wavering ambition? Mislabeled insanity?"
She let her laughter die down. "You're serious?"
"Very."
Quinn thought about it a moment before answering. "Your optimism." Rachel laughed. "What?"
"Does this perhaps have anything to do with the fact that you're quite the pessimist?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." She joked.
Rachel shook her head, thinking over her previous dealings with Quinn's cynicism. Since Jesse had gotten Quinn to make some changes, to at least consider herself above Lima, Rachel had been curious if Quinn's negative outlooks had changed at all. She supposed it all resided with what Quinn ended up doing next year.
"Have you made any decisions yet? About what you're going to do next year?"
"No." Quinn sighed, but was happy with the topic change. Funny. A few months ago, there was nothing she wanted to talk about less than the future. "But Jesse and I need to talk about it because our deadlines are basically here already."
"You should come to New York. Hear me out." She cut Quinn off before the protests could come. "It's the perfect location to start Jesse's future stardom and whatever career field it is you choose because New York offers everything. And then Kurt can write the perfect script for Jesse and I to star in, and you and Blaine cou-could be our own personal cheerleaders. You have experience, and Blaine's happy enough."
Quinn chuckled. "I wasn't aware actors had cheerleaders."
"They have fans. It's the same thing. Honestly, there's nothing you can argue with. New York is the greatest city in the world, and I see no reason why you wouldn't want to go there." Rachel watched as Quinn's smile diminished. "Unless you've set your sights on somewhere else?"
"No, but I don't want to go to New York because of a small notion that something might happen between us and then have nothing happen only to get stuck in New York because of a poorly thought-out decision on my part."
"But we'd still be friends though." Rachel frowned and cautiously continued. "Quinn, if I…Hypothetically, if it's discovered that I don't return your feelings, would that end our friendship?"
"You don't think that would complicate anything?"
"Not for me, no. It's no secret that Jesse still has feelings for me, and I've been able to maintain a platonic friendship with him."
"Rachel, I'm not Jesse. I don't think like him, and I certainly don't feel like he does." Quinn reminded as if Rachel had somehow forgotten this.
She hadn't so Rachel nodded before deciding to be a little adventurous and reached for Quinn's hand again. Quinn still tensed, but at least this time she relaxed afterward. Well, sort of.
"You said that you never had any intentions of sharing any of this with me." She took another step, linking their fingers. "I also know that you've been working through this for a while, but our friendship hasn't suffered in that time so why would it have to be any different now that I do know."
"Because it is different."
"How?"
"I would have made it all go away. It wouldn't have meant anything, and I wouldn't have had to deal with it."
Rachel refrained from getting into a discussion on how that idea possibly could have worked out for the blonde. "Quinn, it's taken us a long time to get here."
Quinn nodded. "It has."
"And I like where we are. I wouldn't be opposed to being more, but I definitely don't want to go back to being less."
"Neither do I, but what would that even matter if Jesse and I didn't follow you to New York?"
"It would matter to me." Rachel disputed. "But not to you?" She checked, disappointed.
"Out of sight, out of mind."
"And that's how you work through things?"
"It's easier." Quinn whispered.
Rachel didn't see that logic. If anything, Rachel always found that when something was missing was when she thought about it most. "No, it's not. It's just safer." She argued. "Quinn, if you shut out all of the bad things, then you'll also be shutting out the good."
"Risk and reward?"
"Precisely." Rachel grinned.
"And how's that working out for you?" She asked wryly.
"Okay." Rachel let go of Quinn's hand and quickly stood from their stump. "And there's the defensiveness."
Quinn just dropped her head. "Rachel, I'm sorry."
"I know." Rachel smiled in a peace offering. "But I still think it'd be better for us to end this conversation now." It was clear she had stretched the other girl as far as she could today. Anymore and there'd be an actual fight. "Besides, we have a carwash to close out." She gestured to where they came from. Quinn nodded and stood up before slowly following after Rachel.
Honestly, she could not care less about the carwash. All Quinn wanted to do right now was go home and sleep. No, sleep for a month. Then she could wake up and all of this will have been miraculously sorted out by itself. Yeah, a coma sounded perfect.