Never Meant to Be (Part One)

It was never meant to happen simply because she was Leah. She was Leah and I had chosen Reneesme. A child she was but I didn't have a right to back out now. I wouldn't be her Sam.

"You're drunk…." The words slurred over my tongue like I had one too many myself. The truth?

I was so focused on her, infatuated that I was using her intoxication as my excuse. I sickly wanted us to act like normal people our age. If we weren't werewolves I could touch her, kiss her, melt my body onto hers and it would be fine.

I would take her hands and bend them to my will, hold her so tightly until she was breathless. And then I'd go back for more.

Leah made me crazy like this.

I'd been having these thoughts, some say visions about her for too long. Now was my opportunity.

"I need to get home." Leah brushed her hands over her face and I could see the gravity of the world was pulling her down. That meant that she was thinking about Sam.

Instinctively I reached over and held her tight to my chest, feeling wet tears stain my shirt and silent sobs of a girl hurting so badly. She looks up at me with such a sadness that it kills me not to…

I shouldn't …

My body is acting separately from my mind. I feel myself bending down and moving closer and closer until only a thin line of airs separates her lips from mine.

Leah looks confused and then gives me a small smile muttering, "Anything to take advantage huh?"

I want to shake her then and ask how could she be so blind? How could she not see how beautiful she is to me, how perfect how she was the one to help me get over Bella?

But what rights to I have to say these things?

My lips find hers anyway and I cannot believe that I'd been denied of something that sweet my whole life. I can never go back.

She rests her arms around my back insecurely and I lift her chin up so I can get a better look at her face. Tear-stained and pain-stricken, it captivates me.

I know why she is doing this.

We silently move into the shadows where no one can see. She presses me against the wall and I slide my body closer to hers. We can't possibly get any closer unless…

Leah reaches for my shirt. And I know where this is going. And I know why. Emily is pregnant. She doesn't have to say it because it's written all over her face.

"Perfection." I mutter, parting our mouths for only a moment to let her know how I feel. I can feel the air pricking my skin. My back, arms, thighs all nude against the night.

The sensation of her is just too much to explain. I do not want to ever forget this moment. Or to lose it. I cling to her passionately, hoping that somehow she'll remember. Somehow maybe my unparalleled fervor is enough to overcome her intoxication.

I know that if she hadn't been drinking, Leah would never touch me this way.

Her breathing intensifies and I feel the tension rising.

I feel like we're about to burst at any moment … we're. Us. Not Leah and Jacob but one … I turn my head for a second to breathe.

Then I realize that she is my life force.

I feel sharp pins claw into my back and I start to back off, but she pulls me in closer. I make the moment last as long as possible. Leah kisses me back like she enjoys it.

I reach for her to try and talk about what just happened. She turns her back to me. Her curvy figure briefly appears in front of me and then she dashes into the night.

We never speak of it again. Leah makes me promise not to even think about it.

But I do. Whenever I'm alone I run that night through my mind.

I try to talk to her, but she doesn't want to hear anything I say. Leah says that she's leaving. I know why.

The baby is due soon. I reach for a hug and she lets me comfort her one last time. And I lean in for a kiss that never happens. I don't hear from her for a while, almost a year. She's not coming back.

I call her desperately every week.

Most of the time she won't answer.

Leah is hiding something from me. I can tell. She denies it. I want to come and see her and she says no. I wait for the day when she'll say yes.

I'm thirty-four stuck in a seventeen-year-old body. But I don't give up.

Something big is going to happen. I dream about it. I know it … There's a knock on my door. I pray it's Leah…

(A/N: I am trying so desperately to make short fictions and not mini-novels. This probably the shortest chapter I've written in over a year. Let me know what you think. This is just part one of this 'one-shot' because I'm going to tie it into one of my new favorite shows… Review for more. –NL)