EXAMINATION
High school tended to repeat itself. For being filled with different individuals year in and year out, it never actually changed. By high school law, students tired of the continuous theme somewhere through their senior year. Usually it happened between semesters. Some before, some after. Regardless, when it came to the closing weeks, no one cared. Teachers didn't even seem to put much effort into it. But perhaps that last part was only true at McKinley because WMHS's current senior class has only been attending sporadically, and no one's bothered to take notice. Of course it's not like anyone was going to complain or anything. Most seniors were taking advantage of this little McKinley quirk.
Considering all of this, it made Monday a rather easy day for Quinn to cross off her to-do list. It was as hardly as irresponsible as it sounded. She and Jesse needed a day to decide on what college they would be attending next year. They had tried doing this yesterday, but after Jesse had informed her of his "meeting with LGBT," Quinn understandably may have been a little bit angry with him. Sunday began with Quinn filling him in on the basics of her conversation with Rachel at the carwash. She had been trying to convince him that it was more than fine for him to let them be. Then he mildly agreed to some sort of a truce before explaining that he told Brittany, Santana, Kurt and Blaine and why he did so. Sure, it explained Santana's recent actions but still. Quinn was so not okay with this. Therefore, they spent yesterday yelling at each other and missed a chance to make their big decision. Monday in the choir room seemed like an acceptable substitute.
"Glad to see you've cooled down enough to respond to my emergency text." Jesse offered as a greeting.
"Oh I'm still furious with you," Quinn was quick to clarify, "but you're right. We need to get this done."
"Splendid." They sat in the choir room chairs, leaving an empty one between them. Then they pulled out their folders of letters of both acceptance and apologies. They still had too many to count seeing as Jesse made them apply to every possible school. Really, they should have taken this more seriously weeks ago when they first started getting these back. "Now what's it going to be: The setting sun of the west coast or the rising sun of the east?"
"Which location won't make you talk like that?" Quinn continued to look through their letters.
"Touchy today, aren't we?"
"Yes, it's so curious."
"Sarcasm is rarely appreciated."
She snapped to her right and glared at him. "You told Santana and Brittany –never mind Kurt and Blaine– that I have feelings for Rachel."
He was as unfazed today as he was yesterday. "Seeing as they're all gay, ergo, willing to keep secrets, I don't see what the problem is. Have they actually told anyone? No."
"You say that as if Brittany even knows what a secret is."
"There's no need to be rude. Just because she has a unique way of thought, does not mean she's stupid."
"Why? You have a unique way of thought, and I think you're pretty stupid."
"Do you think that you could perhaps muster up enough maturity for us to choose what we're going to spend the next few years doing with our lives? You can go back to your tantrum later, I promise."
God, he was lucky he had some semblance of a point. Quinn really wanted to yell at him; about what it didn't matter. "Rachel wants me to go to New York." She told him smoothly.
He tilted his head in order to absorb this information. "Oh, and is she aware that I'm a part of your luggage?"
"Yes."
"Then what is it you want to do? Because keep in mind that I am more than okay with moving to New York. New York provides class unlike the shallow waves of vanity that was Los Angeles."
"And you didn't fit in there how?"
Jesse ignored her attempt at a humorous insult. "As someone who's vacationed in New York City on several occasions, both for school and for family outings, it's under my authority that it is not a city that cares about who you are but only about what you can do. Seeing as I can do just about anything, going there would garner me great success. Especially now that I understand the requirement to attend class. I'm sure we can find something for you to do there as well. Not to worry, Quinn." He grinned before looking at their east coast pile. "Keep, keep, keep." He quickly sorted through them. "Keep– Brooklyn? Why did we apply to a university that's located in Brooklyn? I don't remember this."
"What's wrong with Brooklyn?"
"Oh Quinn, everyone knows that both Brooklyn and Queens alike are nothing more than Manhattan's gangrene infected foot. At least Staten Island had the decency to be amputated. And don't even get me started on the Bronx."
Quinn bit her tongue to keep from responding to this St. James outlook. It was going to be a long morning. "You do realize that I haven't agreed to New York, right?"
"Well I don't see why you wouldn't want to go there. The amount of colleges all residing in such a small space is as ridiculous as the amount of people that live there. It's not as if you don't have opportunity. Besides, you said Rachel wanted us to go."
"Right. And given what's currently going on with me and Rachel, what if things don't work out or get weird and I get stuck there? Then what?"
"It's a city comprised of eight million people. I believe you could evade Rachel if you ever needed to. Furthermore, if you don't go to New York, what exactly do you plan to do from here on out? Avoid the internet? Rachel is a star, and she will be famous. There's no argument to be made against that. You'll hear about her in the future whether the two of you live in the same place or not. So I suggest either telling me what your true fears are or we can just move on."
Jesse waited patiently but received nothing in return. Not surprising. He gave it an hour or so before Quinn gave him an actual response. Until then, he would continue to look through New York possibilities.
Somehow she doesn't think this is what Quinn agreed to when they decided that they needed to do some exploring of the emotional variety. But honestly, Rachel couldn't just allow this all to happen organically. She had tried that already. For about an hour or two after New Directions' carwash on Saturday. It just wasn't working. Rachel didn't like the idea of taking her time and doing nothing but wait. Sure, she was going to take some time to remain respectable in the situation, but she also needed some type of control. She happened to enjoy organization. So really, listing out Quinn's positive and negative traits as a possible girlfriend seemed more than acceptable as a plan of action. Seeing as she's never actually had Quinn as a girlfriend, Rachel was currently in the process of listing out pros and cons of the blonde as a friend. Sadly, her column of cons wasn't coming along too nicely. And it's not like she could just leave it where it is. That wouldn't be very objective.
Rachel has always had a set of qualities she looked for with someone she was entering into a relationship with. (It didn't matter that these qualities were rarely matched in real life.) Having overzealous fathers, her views on the world and everything in it have greatly been romanticized since birth. Classic films and love stories have always been integrated into her life. Out of everyone she's been linked to romantically, Jesse was the only one who came close. (Well, Blaine too if he hadn't been gay.) Musically, Jesse was extraordinarily talented. He could keep up with both her voice and her future career. He also thrived on stage. Performing was also his life. He was romantic like Rachel, dramatic like Rachel, and appreciated her bouts of insanity. But he wasn't enough of a gentleman to put her before his own career. Jesse was never anything less than self-satisfying, and that was what ultimately put him below her ideal. Well, that and her withstanding feelings for Finn.
Finn, despite being her main squeeze for roughly two and a half years, was rather far off from her ideal. Even Noah with his bad-boy-turned-good-boy possibilities was closer. But alas any hypothetical relationship they could have shared was also overshadowed by Finn. Finn was attractive in a non-threatening way, and though untrained, he had a singing voice full of promise. Initially, before Schuester rudely came in and took over for her, she liked the idea of being Finn's creative savior. She saw Finn to have an overbearing girlfriend and reputation, and she thought she could be the one to get him past that to shine with his untapped potential. Then, of course, he'd eventually fall for her. It was a timeless and compelling story; that of which someone in a higher social circle gives everything up for love in the lower part. In this case, popular quarterback falls for school outcast. But like most things in Rachel's life, this also fell short. And instead, her relationship with Finn became the perpetual challenge; one that she never wanted to give up on trying to meet. Finn was earnest in his attempts to always do the right thing. And he'd feel remorse whenever he'd selfishly ignore said right thing. It was something she both admired and envied. Though not her ideal, Finn was easy to fall in love with, and their story was easy to manipulate into the basis for a modern day fairytale.
However, she wasn't supposed to be doing that sort of a thing with Quinn. Rachel wasn't supposed to be twisting anything into a charming tale to tell. For one, it would prove Jesse's reservations to be correct, and two, it may potentially hurt Quinn. Neither of which she wanted to have happen. Still, before jumping into a possible relationship with Quinn Fabray Rachel needed to sort through the qualities of Quinn Fabray. Because while she didn't need to match up to Rachel's ideal, it would still be beneficial to know just what type of girlfriend Quinn would be. This, of course, led her back to her problem because several sides of Quinn were completely unknown to Rachel. For instance, what was Quinn's romantic side like? Did she even have one? And if so, was Quinn's current way of romantic function something to list as a pro or a con? Honestly, to be fair in this, Rachel needed some outside help to inform her of all of Quinn's hidden sides. It was easy to pick out her first target.
"Hello, Finn." Rachel greeted the boy between classes.
"Hey." Finn turned from his locker with a grin. "What's up?"
"Well I…it's uh…What's your opinion on your previous relationship with Quinn?"
"You want to talk about my relationship with Quinn?" He questioned slowly. Red flags were going off everywhere.
"Yes."
"Okay. Why?" He drawled further, trying to think up what this could possibly be about. "Is this like one of those friends thing where a girl will talk to a guy for her friend because Quinn's Quinn and everything, but I don't really want to get back together with her or anything."
Rachel frowned in distaste. "Please don't say something like that again. Quinn doesn't want to date you, Finn. I'm inquiring about this out of my own curiosity."
"Oh." That was a relief. "Well why?"
"Does that matter?"
"My ex-girlfriend is asking me about my relationship with my other ex-girlfriend. I may not know a lot, but I know enough to know that that's not ever a good thing."
She sighed before thinking of something adequate to placate him with. "Fine. If you must know, I'm currently trying to strengthen my friendship with Quinn, and she has a tendency to make the task harder than it should be. For instance, she doesn't always share her feelings, and I was just wondering if she did that sort of thing with you while the two of you were dating. Or, you know, if there was anything else she did within your relationship that made it difficult for you, maybe you'd rather inform me of those traits."
"Um…well yeah, Quinn never really told me what she was thinking." He agreed and tried to remember some other things about dating Quinn. "Unless she was mad at me or something, then I usually knew what she was thinking. She was also really controlling. And not like how you were controlling because you used to tell me what you wanted me to sing or do, but Quinn used to always tell me what not to do. She was meaner about it too. Like sometimes I was actually afraid of her. She's really good at yelling without actually having to yell. Just like she's also really good at making me feel insignificant. I got the feeling sometimes that she was just using me, like she didn't care. But then she'd get upset about something I didn't think was important, and I know she'd care. Plus, she never really let me do more than kiss her. And I mean, you never really let me do that either, but at least you never got mad at me for trying."
Rachel sighed as Finn continued on next to her. This decision may prove to be a foolish one. Apparently he had a lot to say about Quinn. Rachel would have been listening intently had she not been wondering what he'd say about her if someone asked him about their own relationship.
.
"You want to know what it was like to date Quinn?" Sam asked Rachel hesitantly, focusing more on getting the correct books out of his locker. Rachel was always kind of crazy when she approached him in situations like this. He personally liked to avoid these encounters.
"Yes, but if you could maybe keep it concise because…" She really couldn't deal with another one of Quinn's exes reproducing every possible detail of their former relationship. "I don't need to know everything."
"Okay, um…Well, it was pretty good until she cheated on me. Quinn's very…She's kind of the perfect girlfriend until she's not."
"What do you mean?"
Sam sighed as he thought about how to describe Quinn Fabray without referencing a comic book heroine Rachel was probably unfamiliar with. Or well, in some cases, villainess. "When I met her, she was like this pretty mystery. Except she never let me solve it, and the things she did allow me to learn about her were never important. Then she was basically done with me. As her boyfriend at least. Look, if you really want me to sum up how I feel about my relationship with Quinn, I'm much happier dating Mercedes." He shrugged as an explanation before shutting his locker and getting out of the danger zone.
Rachel thought about following after him but remained at his locker. That was no help at all. If anything, now she only had another pro to add to her list.
.
"Hey, Mercedes." Rachel sat down in the desk next to the girl.
Mercedes frowned. She was pretty sure Rachel wasn't even in this class. Unless she's completely blocked her out the entire semester which given that it's Rachel, kind of possible. "Hi?"
"You lived with Quinn once."
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she wins Gleek Who's Lived With The Most Gleeks Award." She chuckled.
"What was it like?"
"Rooming with Quinn?"
"Mmm-hmm. Surely you must have some less than fond memories of those weeks. It's not as if she was the perfect roommate or anything."
"Not really." Mercedes shrugged. "Quinn was either really quiet or really irritable. But she was also pregnant with a manwhore's baby so really, who wouldn't be?"
.
"Now keep in mind that I'm not regarding your opinion with as much emphasis as I have with others. Any two people of the opposite gender with working reproductive systems can create a baby, and seeing as you and Quinn haven't actually seemed to associate with each other since the pregnancy, I'm choosing to look at whatever you two shared more as an obligation than anything." Rachel walked with Puck through the crowded hallway.
"So what are you asking exactly?"
"Any misgivings toward your past, I suppose we'll say relationship, with Quinn?"
"That's easy." He stopped their walk. "The mood swings."
Rachel smiled up at her friend. Leave it to Noah to be the first to actually give her something worth noting. Sure, she supposed she already knew this for herself. And granted, Finn rambled off plenty for her to use, but after speaking with him, she no longer felt as if he was the appropriate person to ask. How important was one ex-boyfriend anyway? Honestly, he should be excluded based on the fact that he was Rachel's mutual ex anyway. Obviously it was a classic case in conflict of interest.
"Why do you want to know this stuff anyway?" Puck frowned.
She huffed. "You know, it's not that out of the ordinary for a friend to be curious about their friend."
"It's kinda weird."
"Noah, it is not weird. It's getting to know someone better."
"Yeah, no. It's just weird. And Quinn will probably get pretty pissed about it if she finds out you've been looking into her sex life."
"Ah, but she won't because I have information that you do not have which ensures her not becoming angry with me…hopefully."
.
By the time Rachel got to which ever half of Brittany and Santana she was looking for (she didn't care which), the girls were together. And perhaps if the couple wasn't arguing, she could have looked at this as killing two birds with one stone. Not that she would ever kill a bird let alone two of them.
"I just– Are you kidding?" Santana barked. "Out of everything you've ever said, this makes the least sense."
"Why?" Brittany challenged. "Because you think something different?"
"It's not about what I think. It's about what's a fact."
"Now, now, let's not fight." Rachel approached them brightly. They could sort this out later. "In fact, I have something that might just distract you both from whatever it is that has you so-"
"Move, dwarf." Santana sneered at her before storming off down the hall.
Rachel turned to the girl who remained. "If you wanted to chase after her in a declaration of your unwavering support and romance, I'd fully understand." She wouldn't like it, but she'd understand.
Brittany shook her head. "Santana's just mad about something I said, but I'm awesome and right and she's wrong. We'll make up later in her room like we always do. Santana never stays mad at me for too long. She's easy like that. It's cute."
"Oh. At least you both have an understood compromise between you."
"I guess." Brittany agreed before something else took over her mind. "So are you totally going to vote for me at prom? I'll even let the trolls out from under the bleachers in the gym. Santana says if I promise to free your people, you'd definitely vote for me. I think it's so sad that all the troll people have been ostriched from the rest of the school like that. And they have to bury their heads in the ground too. It's terrible. So unfair."
Rachel tried really hard not to clear up Brittany's misconceptions. Santana was really someone who shouldn't be allowed to speak without supervision. But that would have to wait. "Well I appreciate your backing, Brittany, but I don't want you to worry about that. I'll vote for you if you give me a moment of your time. Now as a friend of Quinn's, what's your least favorite thing about her?"
"What do you mean, like her teeth? Because I don't really like anyone's teeth."
"No, I meant more along the lines of her qualities as a person or a friend. Not her actual physical attributes."
"No one even knows what teeth are made out of." Brittany continued on, ignoring Rachel much to her irritation.
"Brittany, that's not true. I'm sure plenty of people know and have studied what teeth consist of."
"So then what are they made out of?"
Rachel opened her mouth to snap out a response but didn't have one. What were teeth made out of? She took a deep, calming breath before backtracking. "We're talking about Quinn. Now again, anything you don't care for about her? Or maybe don't understand to your liking?"
"Well I don't really understand why she wants to date you."
Rachel balked at Brittany's simple statement. Why did people continue hinting as if they knew something? "Wha-what would give you that idea?"
"I mean, I guess you can be nice, and you write the awesomest of songs that actually put Lord Tubbington and Duke Tubbington Jr. to sleep, but you also have vacuum powers and can suck the fun out of everyone. Plus, sometimes you're so loud and use so many words to say something really simple that I feel like I'm back in Coach Sylvester's torture hole. But if you're what finally makes Q happy, then that's cool. Because Quinn being upset about never being happy is probably the most annoying thing about her. That's what you wanted, right? To know what's annoying about her?"
"Um, yes Brittany. That's what I wanted to know."
"Great." She grinned at answering correctly. "Santana could come up with more things for you. But just so you know, I think it's kinda mean to be asking for bad things about the person that likes you. Like I never would have done that to Santana or Artie or myself."
"Brittany, how come you're so sure that Quinn likes me?"
"Duh. Because Jesse told us she did."
"Jesse?"
"Mmm-hmm. But now that he has, I kinda wonder how no one saw it before." She frowned because really, so obvious. "Santana still thinks it's really weird, though." Brittany shrugged before deciding she was done with Rachel and bouncing off.
Rachel remained rooted, thinking over Brittany's words. First and foremost, that was a tad hypocritical of Santana. She'd have to make it a point to give the girl a respectable lesson over the concept. Secondly, it was a good point to question why someone like Quinn would want to be with someone like Rachel. Was this something to be regarded as a con?
Jesse stretched his arms out in front of him, cracking his knuckles. It drove Quinn crazy so he had been doing it every couple of minutes. It was warranted given that she had been ruining their morning thus far. She was clearly looking for an argument and has tried to start one several times. He, being the mature one, had yet to give in despite wanting to several times. He just didn't understand where her New York avoidance was coming from. It'd help if she was willing to go into it in full detail.
"Quinn, I've been curious about something." He broke their silence. "A couple of weeks ago when I relayed the message that Rachel had figured out how you felt about her, you weren't upset. As I recall all you were concerned about was what type of an effect this would have on your friendship with her."
"Yes. Where are you going with this?"
"It's just what's changed? Now you're concerned with not being able to be friends with her to the point that you don't even want to go to New York. Quite the turnaround is all."
"It's different now."
"Clearly." He set down the papers he was reading over to give her his undivided attention. "Explain it to me."
Quinn mimicked his actions by setting down her own reading material. "When you told me that Rachel knew, you made it clear that she was just flattered by the attention which as her friend was something I could handle. But now that…" She trailed off. "It's not just flattery." She offered as an explanation.
"So questioning your sexual identity and having unrequited feelings for a friend is fine with you but actually having a potential relationship with the person you want to be with is not?" He felt like laughing. "Do you hear how messed up that sounds?"
"Considering you've been telling me how screwed up I am for about a year now, I have a good idea, yeah." She retorted spitefully.
"Well whatever the hang-up is, work through it. We don't have a lot of time so if you could hurry, that'd be much appreciated."
"I'm sorry I'm such a burden for you, Jesse."
"Yes, that's exactly what I said." He rolled his eyes. "I'm fine with you having fears, Quinn. At this point I expect it, but we can't afford you being afraid at the moment. Especially if it's over something as ridiculous as dating the person you want to be dating." He snapped. "I won't allow you putting not only your future but mine as well in jeopardy just because you can't handle the idea of a relationship yet."
Quinn nodded sullenly before hastily piling up her papers and walking away from her seat.
"Where are you going?" Jesse reluctantly stood up after her.
She spun around. "I'm not going to sit here and let you pressure me into making a decision I don't want to make."
"Oh yes. Let us get upset about that now. Because it's not like I haven't been doing that for you all year."
Quinn exhaled resentfully before tossing her folder on the piano. "You know you're making this argument really easy for me to win."
"Right because pressuring you is unforgivable of me." He laughed a humorless laugh. "Out of curiosity, what would you do if you didn't have me constantly twisting your arm? Hmm? Lacking a response are you?"
"Oh I have a response."
"I'm sure you do, but here are the facts: You can't deal with Rachel today, but in a few weeks from now, you'll be fine with it. You'll be thanking me for pushing you two states east."
"Don't hold your breath." Quinn broke the abrupt staredown when a disturbance rang out behind them. Quinn and Jesse both shifted their focus over to the opening and closing door. "Oh great. Well go on." She encouraged. "What's it going to be today? A lesbian pun?"
"Please. Something obviously already died up your ass." Santana smirked. "I only like to mess with you when you're in a good mood so I can ruin it."
Quinn shook her head irately and shoved passed Santana in order to get to the door. Santana sneered at this before taking off, hot on Quinn's tail. She caught up immediately. Really, she should consider being involved in more car chases. Before Quinn decided to take any of this out on her (because she totally would and then there would be a bitchfest, and Santana would have to feel a tiny bit guilty about kicking awesome ass), Santana was pulling the blonde out of the school. Hopefully the fresh air would do them both good. At least that was the idea when she led them all the way out to the bleachers.
Quinn turned around once they got a few rows up to face the other girl. "Why'd you bring me here?"
"I'm hurt, Q, really. I mean, you whip out your rainbow flag, and the first person you wave it for is Berry. Hello. Do you not even see my flawless ass standing here? It's insulting."
Quinn rolled her eyes as she took a seat but played along anyway. "Somehow I don't think Brittany would approve."
Santana sat down next to her. "Threesomes exist for a reason."
"I'll pass."
"You're no fun when you've got the defeated attitude going on."
"Having a bad day."
"And that makes you special how?" Santana glared because she would so be winning the worst day contest. "Come on. You can't honestly expect me to let this dwarfsexual phase of yours go."
"She's not– Rachel's not a dwarf."
"Goblin. Whatever." She snickered momentarily. "It's Rachel Berry. I mean her of all people." Santana watched as Quinn unwillingly got one of those pensive, tender looks on her dumb face.
"She-"
"Okay ew. I'm trying to cut down on throwing up. I don't need the added imagery." She grimaced, and for a while that seemed to be the end of their conversation. Instead, they just took up listening to Sue throw out megaphoned insults to that day's practice.
"I'm thinking we should maybe start a club." Santana finally spoke again, and apparently Quinn wasn't the only one to have a defeated attitude on this lovely Monday. "One for aggressive, defensive, and semi-closeted gays. I'll be president, you'll be my vice, and Karofsky can be treasurer." Santana took in Quinn's shock out of the corner of her eye. "Oh yeah. Karofsky's super gay. In fact, you two have a lot in common. Maybe you should talk to him."
If Santana's mood wasn't becoming a minor cause for concern, Quinn would have considered what Santana had just told her a little bit more. Was sharing secrets something gay people innately did? Was there like an unwritten rule? Because she really didn't picture herself coming around on that. But that would wait.
"What's wrong with you?"
Santana sighed deeply. "I had a fight with Brittany earlier."
"So drag her into an empty room and fix it."
"It wasn't that kind of fight." Santana rolled her eyes, knowing she had to explain. More for herself than for Quinn but whatever. It gave her a much needed excuse to talk about it. "Brittany doesn't want to leave Lima."
Quinn frowned at this news. "What?"
"Well she's not opposed to staying." Santana explainer further. "She likes it here. It's 'home.' Apparently she doesn't want to leave her family or her damn cats or our friends." She scoffed and then turned to face Quinn fully. "I can't stay here. I'm not staying here."
"Not even for Brittany?"
"Nope, but it's okay. I've got a plan for that because kidnapping's only technically illegal in like five states."
"I'm sure if you just talk to her-"
"Tried." Santana cut in bitterly. "Look, it's not like I had some great, big plans or anything. My grades aren't exactly show-stopping, and Brittany can't even get her diploma until she finishes summer school, but I don't know, I thought after all of that we could leave. Find some place where no one knows us, go to junior college, and then start whatever."
"So then you've got what? Three months to change her mind. It's Brittany. I'm sure you can talk her out of it."
"Yeah, and if not, I'm going to be stuck here living out some middle American wet dream that's been playing on a loop since 1890. Only it will be worse because instead of some perfect, cheating husband, I'll have a girlfriend who'll want to reenact Animal Farm in our backyard."
"And now you're overreacting."
"Really?" She challenged. "Because it's not like people still make it a habit of throwing things at Kurt's house. And it's not like the cheerios used to prank call the Berrys every night. Which at least for you and me can be funny in that whole stab-me-because-it's-just-so-damn-ironic way." Quinn didn't see the humor. "You know something Q, you're one, lucky bitch."
"That's new." Quinn muttered. Lucky would not be a term she'd use to describe herself.
"You don't have to deal with it." Santana shook her head, tiredly more so than anything else. "We're graduating, and you'll never have to worry about slushies or name-calling or judgment. You get to prance after Berry down Broadgay until your little heart's desired. Timing wise, you're fucking lucky."
"I don't actually know if I'm going to New York."
"Why wouldn't you? Please. Eventually you and Frodo are going to get together, and if the two of somehow manage not to kill each other in the first month of dating, then you should really just give up. I'm serious. Throw in the towel. Set the women's movement back fifty years. Get married. If on some off chance that you guys are fine with each other's insanity, desperation, and melodramatics, there's no need to look somewhere else. Then you can have lizard kids and become soccer moms and get into fights with drunken, opposing parents at little league games."
"You've thought way too much about this."
"Of course I have. You two suck. And you've both made everyone's lives hell over the last couple of years with all your added drama that you bring to glee. The pregnancies and the nose jobs and the crack houses and all that Finn crap. It's amazing we haven't pushed you two under a bus. At least now you'll be stuck as each other's problem."
Quinn glared. "Uh, I seem to remember you being involved with some of that 'Finn crap'. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're the only one who's ever slept with him."
"Yeah, and who figured out they were gay about a year ago now? See, this is why you should always put out. I mean I'll give you a pass on Puckerman because at least he knows what he's doing in that area, but if you just would have gone the distance with Finnept, then you would have known a helluva lot sooner."
Quinn nodded slowly because, no joke, she was pretty sure Santana was being serious. "I'll try and remember that."
By early afternoon, Rachel was at wits end. No one was any help at all. She still wasn't having too much success of putting this list together on her own. It was beyond frustrating. And to be blunt, she was bordering on becoming desperate. Um, well, more desperate.
"Hello, Dave." Rachel cheerfully approached her former teammate, and if she had to venture a guess, a friend of Dave's.
The guy Karofsky was talking to chuckled. "Dude, is this your girlfriend? A little short."
"Hardly." Rachel answered for them, missing what was so funny. "While it's true that I've gone for the athletic type in the past, I can assure you that I'm currently looking upon other horizons." She frowned. Technically, Quinn was the athletic type given her cheerleading past. Perhaps she should have been clearer. "Well, not completely but-"
"Was there something you wanted?" Karofsky quickly cut her off.
"A quick conversation."
He nodded and walked them further down the hall because really, he didn't want any of the guys to hear what Rachel was going to say.
"Look, you all seriously got to stop. I'm not ever going back to glee."
"Alright." She frowned again. "I disagree with your choice as I feel you can make an argument that everyone needs glee in their life, but I did not seek you out in order to convince you of this. If you want to fall at the hand of peer pressure, that's your decision."
"Then what?"
"You've spent time with Quinn. A duet here or there. Co-tutors. Some backing vocals. Any qualms you'd like to share?"
"Huh?"
Kurt shook his head as he watched this exchange take place from a little ways down the hall. He had caught wind of Rachel's behavior-of-the-day a period or two ago now from a couple of the gleeks. Frankly, it was cause for concern. For one, it was just unhealthy. For two, he really didn't like the idea of this possible Rachel and Quinn pairing. He didn't believe it to be true even after Blaine shared his own opinions on the matter. It was seemingly out of nowhere. Rachel didn't seem to be thinking this through. And if he was being honest, it was a little too close to his own relationship with Karofsky for his liking. Kurt wasn't going to blindly trust Quinn's intentions whatever they may be. And seeing as Rachel tended to lack sanity more often than not, he really needed to talk to her about all of this just to see exactly where she was. Since Dave looked like he wanted to kick something, now was probably the perfect time.
"There must be something? Maybe a lack of commitment to song o-or perhaps she didn't-"
"Rachel."
She turned to the boy interrupting them. "Kurt."
"I think it's time we leave Karofsky alone in his primitive high school state, don't you?"
"But he has information."
"Yes, I'm sure it's quite important." Kurt patted her on the shoulder before turning her around and pushing her in a different direction. "It's a crazy day." Kurt whispered to Karofsky as he passed him.
Dave nodded. "Figured. Thanks."
Kurt caught up to Rachel and walked her through the halls until they came upon one of those wall-benches McKinley had randomly placed throughout it. There was really no order. They just popped up seemingly when needed.
"So do you want to explain why you've been pestering the glee club about Quinn all day?" He sat them both down.
"I resent that. I have not been pestering anyone. I've simply been asking questions. Ones that can be easily answered if people didn't continue to second guess my interest."
"Okay." They could go with that. "And why have you been asking these simple questions?"
"I can't tell you." She replied sheepishly.
"This wouldn't happen to have to do with Jesse's theory of you two becoming romantically involved with each other would it?"
"He told you too? What's wrong with him?"
"That discussion could take hours so let's not go there. If you'd prefer, I'm sure I could go find Blaine for you to talk with."
She sighed, thinking back to her most recent conversation with Blaine. "Is there anyone who doesn't know?"
"The majority of the world's population has yet to figure out this possible scandal." He joked. "Frankly, I wish I was still one of them. I honestly didn't believe any of this until right now."
"It's not a scandal, Kurt."
"Sorry." He waved off. "So what's with the interviews?"
"Quinn and I came to an agreement that we wouldn't rush into anything and that we'd take the time to consider just what exactly it is we want from each other. It's no secret that in the past I've been rash within my romantic life. And that when it comes to my romantic interests I've been-"
"Obsessive?"
"Impulsive." She glared before softening. "I didn't want to do that to her. I'm friends with Quinn, and that setup is different from anyone else I've ever dated."
"Well that's very mature of you."
"Thank you."
"But I'm still confused on what the rest of the glee club has to do with this."
"Like I said, I'm trying to figure out what I want from Quinn, and as I have no idea what she's like as a girlfriend, I decided to ask around." Really, it wasn't that hard to decipher through. "I'm putting together a list of Quinn's pros and cons, and I was having trouble coming up with cons."
"And Dave Karofsky fits in this how?"
"He's spent time with her when I haven't. Therefore, he must know something about Quinn that I don't. I was eventually going to get to you for the brief time you spent as her friend when she was close with Mercedes. I would've gone to Jesse, but then I would have to talk to Jesse."
"You're not making any sense. Though that's been true in the past, this case is really a winner." He shook his head. Rachel didn't appreciate this. "You don't know what Quinn is like in a relationship? We've seen all three of her relationships play out right in front of us. She lies, she cheats, she schemes and manipulates all to usually get what she wants. You know this. The entire school does."
"You do realize you could have just very well described me, correct?"
"I suppose, but while you're in a junior league, Quinn's pure varsity. You at least care about who you date."
"Quinn cares." She returned stubbornly.
"I would actually love to hear that argument. Because given just what she's put Finn through, I have no idea what your comeback would be. I wouldn't even need to include Sam or Puck."
"You're saying this as though they haven't hurt her in return."
"And that makes it okay? So if she's to hurt you, as long as you return the favor everything will be fine?" He challenged before deflating somewhat. "You wanted cons. I'm here to supply. Though, I still don't understand why I have to. It's not as if any of this is a secret."
Rachel observed her very calm friend as he sat next to her; legs crossed; hands primly resting on his knee. "You don't think I should pursue a relationship with her."
"I didn't say that. That is not something I can answer."
"You're doing nothing but bringing up her past mistakes."
"If you'd like, I'm sure I can list plenty of pros about Quinn Fabray. Given what the entire glee club has done to each other over the last three years, I don't think she's any worse than the rest of us."
"Then why-"
"I could list fifty negative things about every single person in glee if asked. We all could. The fact that you cannot acknowledge Quinn's flaws without outside influence tells me you have your Rachel blinders on. You're choosing not to see what's there. Now if you do enter into a relationship with Quinn, you said you wanted to do so maturely, and I think you need to know what you're getting into."
"But I don't even know if I want to date her yet."
"Rachel, please." He huffed. "Let's have a little self-respect. You wouldn't try and make someone seem flaw-free if you didn't have some sort of feelings for them. I spent the entirety of sophomore year ignoring the fact that Finn used to copy off of Brittany's homework for answers. Not to mention the fact that he was clearly straight."
"I know that Quinn's not flaw-free." She defended herself. "I did come up with some of my own negativities for her before I went to anyone else."
"Oh? Like what?"
"Well she's been known to avoid emotional situations. And she can also be defensive and reclusive."
"Is that it?"
"She's also willingly friends with Jesse which, granted, wouldn't have been a flaw a few weeks ago, but now it's number one."
Kurt sighed at Rachel's lack of a comprehensive list. "This is going to be one of those sickeningly sweet relationships that I'll loathe at every minute isn't it?"
"Kurt, you have one of those relationships." She nodded to his prom campaign poster on the nearest wall to prove her point.
"Yes, but I've earned it." Kurt retorted. He leaned back into the wall behind them. "Any more complaints you need me to bring up? This is actually kind of fun. We should make it a thing. Like a book club without any books. We can all just sit around naming things we love and hate about each other. God, this is something New Directions should have done years ago."
"We've tried group therapy, and if you recall, it did not work out."
"Yes, because of your drama with Quinn." He reminded and then paused almost painfully. "Oh please tell me this doesn't go back that far."
Rachel shrugged. After Quinn had given an indication that her feelings were preexisting, Rachel felt the need to assess this for herself. Personally, she doesn't really know. She can't recall looking at Quinn in a romantic light before now. She had found her attractive, sure. But really, who hasn't? She has, however, found that Quinn has never really strayed too far from her thoughts. Whether it was constantly questioning why Quinn chose to be so cruel or worrying when Quinn was pregnant or being jealous of Quinn's looks and the attention that Finn gave her or simply wanting to be Quinn's friend, it was always something.
"I'm not sure the past matters. Right now, Quinn and I need to get through the present so we can focus on the future."
"And what does that future of yours hold?" He bumped shoulders with her playfully.
"Fame mostly." She spoke in the same teasing tone before continuing on sincerely. "But hopefully I can get Quinn to agree to join us in New York. This would all be a letdown if she didn't."
"I take it there's no way she'll accidentally be leaving Jesse behind?"
"Doubtful. But the five of us should learn to get along over time."
"Right. Actually, it might be the four."
She looked over at him, panicked. "Are you not coming? Is it your family? Is it your dad's medical condition?"
"What? No." He frowned at her alarm. "Blaine might not be coming, but that's a very, very small might."
"But Blaine wants to be in New York."
"No, Blaine wants to be with me, and he wants to pursue his music. A man, supposedly a hometown record producer, saw his open mic night not too long ago, and there's been some talk is all." Kurt rolled his eyes offhandedly. Truthfully, Kurt wasn't thrilled about any of this, but the man they met at the Lima Bean did seem legitimate, and Blaine was actually giving it some thought. The only reason they weren't bragging about this to their friends was because Kurt asked Blaine not to under the pretense that their run for Prom Kings would suffer if people knew they might not be living together next year. The real reason? Because Kurt selfishly thought the glee club would talk Blaine into going for it.
"That's amazing." She grinned before quickly frowning. "If not a little ominous."
"True, but I don't picture it going anywhere and neither does Blaine. He just hopes it does."
"So if he doesn't follow you, are you going to follow him?"
"Rachel, it's the year 2012. Love and careers do not need to duke it out, and sacrifices don't need to be made. Blaine and I love each other. If that needs to happen with a little distance between us, then we're more than prepared for it. There's email and texting and Skype and maybe if we feel like being frisky, classic and penned love letters. Long distance relationships work if both parties want them to, and I can assure you that we do. If it actually comes to that which again, probably not, we'll be fine."
Rachel didn't ever understand the concept of a long distance relationship. Surely if you ever truly loved someone, then you'd want to be with them at all times. Theoretically at least. No two people could want to spend every waking hour together. There was a reason she initially only agreed to one, final year with Finn after Nationals last year. No matter what Kurt said, no long distance relationship ever lasted. Friendships? Sure. Family? Of course. Romance? She couldn't come up with one example. Not fictional. Not non-fictional. It was near impossible. Particularly in their age bracket.
With this in mind, she placed talking to Quinn about New York as a top priority. She would definitely need to make her case until Quinn agreed to give this a shot. She was pretty sure she had an old, saved PowerPoint about moving to New York she presented to her fathers a few years ago anyway. She'd save this conversation for lunch, though. Because right now, there was one thing that she needed to take care of first.
"I love that you're always here and easy to find." Rachel spoke briskly as she entered the choir room.
Jesse looked up from what he was working on. "Good day to you too."
Rachel stood at the piano. "Let me begin by saying that I have no intention of rushing Quinn into anything."
"Oh goodie. It's going to be one of those conversations."
She ignored him. "I have spent the last two days running in circles trying to come up with logical reasons why I should or should not want to be with her."
"Sounds interesting." He continued on sarcastically. "What were your findings?"
"That I didn't need to do it." She shrugged. "The idea of being in a relationship with Quinn excites me. I want a healthy and happy relationship that other people hate and are jealous of. And no, I don't only want this with Quinn because she happened to show interest in me first."
"Is that it? Are you done?"
"No, I am not done. I would also like to say that after promising her that I'd begin working through my feelings and that upon my first real findings my initial instinct was to run to you, is incredibly rude on your behalf. I should be having this conversation with Quinn right now, and instead, I'm here because you can't stay out of my personal life, and I have to tell you as much."
"Do not pretend that you don't enjoy people paying close attention to your personal life."
"Fine, I'll admit that I do enjoy the attention and that I've often thought about starting gossip about myself in the past during my lesser known days here at McKinley, but that doesn't mean I want you interfering with me and Quinn just because you don't like the idea of us together."
"Oddly enough I've never once said I don't like the idea of you two." He returned. "And while I don't because I don't think I'll ever be thrilled about the idea of you dating someone else even if it does happen to be my closest friend, I'd much rather have to see you with Quinn than say Finn. I know you enjoy the world revolving around you, but my opposition to this hasn't solely come from my own jealousy. If it wasn't clear before, I'm more concerned and focused on Quinn than I am on you. Honestly Rachel, between the two of you, I don't actually care if you get hurt."
Rachel moved across the choir room to sit down next to him. "And if I wasn't clear before, I'm not going to hurt her. I just hope I don't get hurt in return."
"Oh please. You're her favorite person." He spoke bitterly, and Rachel briefly wondered if he was perhaps more jealous about losing Quinn's attention. "Are you finished now? Because I was actually doing something with my life."
"Sorry, but no. Because there's no way I can just allow you to inform Kurt, Blaine, Brittany, and I'm guessing Santana of my personal matters with Quinn. Jesse, you cannot do that. Does Quinn even know?"
"Yes, I told her yesterday. No, she was not happy. And no, I do not understand why either of you are upset about it."
"Fine, moving on." He sighed at this, and Rachel tried not to snap at him about how she had obviously earned the right to give this lecture. "Lastly, I don't enjoy fighting with you. Overlooking the fact that for a semblance of a love triangle your role is supposed to be at odds with Quinn's as the two of you compete for my affections, I don't want to lose our friendship. I know where your allegiances lie, but you have to understand that mine lie there too. Regardless of what happens, I always plan on being Quinn's friend even if she doesn't return that notion."
"Have you tried explaining this to her because if you truly want us to go to New York, telling her this may help."
"Quinn knows that I don't want to lose our friendship." She explained and then continued hesitantly. "She really doesn't want to go?"
He paused in thought. "I'm not sure it's a matter of what Quinn wants. Quinn doesn't do a lot of things she wants to do, and she does a lot of things she's doesn't want do. I'd explain it to you in detail, but we'd be here until next Tuesday. Simply put, she's scared."
Well that wasn't helpful. Rachel already knew that much. "Of what, though?"
He shrugged slightly and allowed a small smirk to overtake him. It actually might be nice to share some of Quinn's load with someone else. "If you're really considering being with Quinn, then these are the things you'll have to figure out on your own."
"I can do that."
"Wonderful. Always remember that all blondes come with baggage. And this one comes with a lot."
"Both my hands are free for carry-ons."
"If you truly want people to hate you as a Hallmark card couple, you're well on your way."
She grinned. "Thank you."
Jesse rolled his eyes and focused them back down on the colleges he had settled on. He was going to get Quinn to agree to New York. He gave it until after glee rehearsals later. And if not, well there was really no harm in enrolling somewhere without her consent. That was their friendship. Besides, Jesse wanted to go to New York. Both for his own selfish reasons and because Quinn wanted to follow Rachel. She just won't admit to it because of that whole stubborn problem she still has.