Punching Bag: Part Three

Someone, They Should've Warned You

Seven and a half months later I gave birth to twins, who had been reluctant to come out of the womb. I didn't blame them. Every day I prayed for them. I didn't want them to come out and be born … not until I could figure Jacob out.

They came anyway. I guess the will of nature is much stronger than the will of man.

When I touched my baby girl for the first time, I could feel the light and beauty of the world on her. She would be one of the forerunners in bringing peace to this life, to uniting the world. She was happiness.

It took a while until Jacob finally let go of his son, a while until he was placed in my arms without Jacob eyeballing me. And when he did, I felt sick.

My son's aura as astonishingly like Jacob's. It was dark, angry, aggressive, violent. My son carried a heavy burden with him, a burden that was terribly unhappy and that manifested in cruelty and anger.

I would do whatever I could to help him, to stop this from being his destiny. Jacob was the key to this. If he was happy, everyone would be happy too. I vowed that this was my duty, to appease him to keep him happy and to remember that no matter what he did to me, that I loved Jacob and I owed him my life.

For a while, my plans to make it work with Jacob went pretty well. Or maybe I had just done so many spells to hide away the scars, erase the pan and forget the past … that I was fooling myself. I lived in this 'happy' life until the children were almost two years old, when they got sick.

I remember when I met their doctor, Dr. Alboni a Nigerianman who was very kind and skilled with my children. I was very surprised to see him, for this was not the first time we had met.

I met him a few weeks back while going out to dinner with Leah at a new restaurant in Seattle. I'd given this guy a phony telephone number and everything, like I customarily did to protect myself from ever being tempted by anyone other than Jacob.

The truth is that I was starving for more than what he was giving. I was missing the kindness, the unconditional love, no name-calling. I wanted to feel good every time I was with someone and not just when they felt like being nice to me.

That's why I went out and gave numbers and got numbers that I never called. Numbers that I would destroy before ever walking into Jacob's house.

Once Dr. Albonihad checked out the children and prescribed them a medication, he looked over at me and smiled.

"I'm sorry about that … number." I apologized. "It's just that I'm a new mother I want to stay focused and really be good to them." I purposely omitted Jacob.

"Do you feel focused now?"

"I guess I do." I nodded noticing that he was just as handsome as I remembered. And he was obviously successful, good with kids, kind. Stop it Bonnie.

"They have an ear infection. What you can do is take this…" He explained the whole situation to me but I was too focused on other things, things that a woman in a relationship with another man shouldn't be thinking of. I nodded on cue and when he stood up, I followed his movements.

"Well, see you when you bring in the kids for a check-up."

"WAIT! That's it?" I asked, attracted to his softness.

"Yes." He answered as I had a brief internal struggle with myself. Stop it. Just walk away.

"I think I have more questions about …. The kids. Do you think you could give me a few tip on what to do, what not to do?" This was pathetic and it would never work. I was using my kids to get a date. "I know you're busy here but I was thinking- "

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"You have my number and this is your real, working number?" He wondered as I nodded. So the doctor remembered me. "I will call you."

Dr. Alboniand I went to a super casual place, Noodles and Company, which couldn't possibly be considered a date in any stretch of the imagination unless I was a college kid. I wanted to make the statement that this was in no way a date, but I did all the things I would do if I were going on a date … I took a shower, put my hair up, wore something light and sexy and sprayed a new perfume.

And did I forget to mention that I neglected to say anything about this to Jacob?

When we got there, he looked casual but like he had taken time to get ready … I refrained from telling him how good he looked and stuck to safe topics: kids, medicine, and general ideologies. Nothing about love, love interests, attraction, etc was mentioned.

But the conversation didn't even need any of that. He was very different from Embry, the last guy I'd acted on my feelings for since Jacob. He was … more mature, gentle, kind, and not interested in me for my body, which I liked.

I felt light and airy at our "not-a-date" dinner. Everything felt new and exciting to me and I didn't want to leave even though I'd overstayed by an hour. I would have to think of a lie to cover myself, but all I could think about was when and how I was going to see Dr. Christian Alboniagain.

"Do you go to the park?" I asked as he helped me put on my jacket and we started to leave.

"The park … over by…"

"The water. That one. Do you go?"

"When I have time."

"I take the kids there every Thursday afternoon around four. It's the one weekday where I don't have to work so I keep them out all day to make up for it." I explained quickly. "If you're ever there, we hang out by the playground, a lot."

"I'll let you know. I'll call you." He responded as I nodded and we went our separate ways. I was smiling the whole ride back home until I came upon the run-down shack that was my home with Jacob, our kids, and his sister Rachel.

I sighed, my entire mood changing. It was for the best. If Jacob saw that I came into the house happy, there'd be another fight and I didn't feel like having the shit punched out of me after such a beautiful night. I wanted to end this day on a good note.

"Hey honey."

"Babe." Jacob came up behind me and kissed me on my neck, nibbling slightly. This signaled that he wanted to have sex tonight.

"I'm tired." I yawned.

"Where were you?"

"Out with Leah and the girls, remember?" I lied, thankful that I'd already run this by Leah.

"No more Girls' Nights Out. They make me nervous."

"No one is going to steal me away from you." I joked with a smile. "I belong to you and you know it." I stepped out of my shoes and away from him. He hadn't been drinking today which explained why he was so much more pleasant.

"You belong to me?" Jacob repeated with a smile.

"Don't act like you don't know it." I answered back.

"Then show me." Jacob responded, pressing his lips together. "Me and you." He started to unzip my dress from the back.

"But the kids-"

"Are spending the night with Sue Clearwater. I wanted us to have some time alone."

"Jacob-"

"You belong to me, remember?" He whispered into my ear in a way that was both exciting and frightening at the same time. I knew what I had to do. I knew what Jacob wanted so I obediently removed everything that I was wearing and turned to face him.

I would do whatever he wanted and let him do whatever he wanted to me because I loved him and I wanted him to know it. "I love you." I whispered as Jacob lifted me off the ground with ease and carried me into the bathroom with him, placing me on the counter.

I let myself go and gave into my physical desires, but it wasn't nearly as freeing as my dinner with Christian a few hours earlier. As Jacob loosened his hold on me, I slid into the bathtub and relaxed thinking about the next time I would see him…

A/N: Tune in to see how it all ends and if Bonnie will ever be free of Jacob! –NL