JE deserves all the credit for the characters below. I'm just using them for my own amusement instead of working like I'm supposed to be right now.
Jenny (JenRar) once again, you have proven yourself to be a wonderful beta, and a top notch cheerleader. Sending off chapters is so much fun knowing I'll get your feedback in return.
Chapter 5 – Helping Hands
Watching the saline and medication slowly drip through Stephanie's IV tubing, I couldn't help but wonder how much time I'd spent in hospitals. Despite my less than safe occupation, I was pretty sure I'd spent more time by Stephanie's side than here because of my own injuries. I pushed a stubborn curl away from her face, and then traced the shell of her ear once more.
The doctor assured me she was fine and would wake up anytime. Hopefully, she'd wake up on her own before the nurses began her every-two-hour concussion checks. I knew she was tired, and the injuries and pain medication were only compounding that exhaustion, but I was desperate to see her eyes open to know for myself that she was all right.
I'd been running through different ways to explain to Stephanie the damage to her ears and how to give her the worst case scenario without taking away her ability to hope for a miracle. But the truth was, this was Stephanie we were talking about, and her life tended to operate as though Murphy's Law were the only applicable principle.
I'd gotten a little information from a very patient older nurse the last time she came in and run Steph's vitals. She told me that talking wouldn't be an issue, but she'd have to relearn volume control, as she would be tempted to talk either too softly or too loudly. But the biggest concern, at least for the nurse, was that from the moment Stephanie woke up, she wouldn't be able to hear us tell her about her injuries, and the concussion was going to give her a massive headache, so reading long, handwritten notes might be painful. We'd have to communicate as efficiently as possible and give her the basic necessary details now, and then give her the whole story once she felt up to reading more.
I knew I should be using the time she was unconscious to write out a note for her to read, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I needed to see the steady rise and fall of her chest and the occasional wrinkle in her forehead to assure myself she was just sleeping. The shit was too close today.
I knew it wasn't a skip or an enemy of mine that had caused the explosion, but it could have been. I'd let her go into an unknown situation completely alone, knowing her hearing was already compromised. She could have been killed because I was so damn distracted smiling and trying to be the guy she needed. There had to be a way to balance the demand she has for independence with my need to look after her. We were going to have to figure that out – and quick, because this injury was going to put me over the top in trying to protect her.
While I was lost in the details of how to keep someone glued to her side twenty-four hours a day without her feeling smothered, I noticed her hand twitch. My gaze went to her face, just as her eyes began to flicker open. She went from completely out of it, to struggling to sit up and mildly panicked much faster than I was expecting her to.
I jumped up to get in her direct field of vision and put my arms around her so she would know she was safe. And even though I knew she couldn't hear me, I found myself saying all the things I usually said to her when she was upset.
She grabbed my arms with her hands and held on tightly, clueing me in to just how frightening this whole experience was for her.
She settled down when she focused on my face, and I tapped down the little puff up of pride within me that I had that effect on her. Brushing her hair back from her face, I smiled at her, hoping it would reassure her that she was going to be all right.
"Ranger," she spoke on a breath out. "The explosion…" She obviously remembered at least part of what had happened. "Is everyone all right?" She was once again thinking of everyone above herself – even the old lady whose carelessness, or more likely forgetfulness, had caused the accident in the first place. It was one of the things you couldn't help but love about her.
I couldn't answer right away. I wasn't sure how to communicate with her, and I was so damned relieved that she was awake and seemingly fine. I moved my hands to cup her face and leaned down to kiss her. Stephanie didn't hesitate to kiss me back, apparently on board with celebrating her cheating of death once more.
Her arms tightened around me when my tongue entered her mouth, and I reveled in the low moan that she released. This was my woman, and even if she couldn't hear me, she was the same, right down to her reactions to my kisses. Before I could take the kiss to a different rating, the door to her room opened, and the nurse that had been so helpful to me earlier walked in.
We broke apart, and Stephanie buried her head against my chest.
The nurse smiled and said, "I came in to see if our patient was awake, and I can see that is a resounding yes."
Then she came over and sat on the edge of the bed on the opposite side from me. She pulled out a sheet of paper from her pocket and unfolded it. While I was wasting time staring at Stephanie, the nurse had apparently used her time more wisely and had typed in a large, bold font, making it easy to read, and handed Stephanie the summary of what had happened and what she needed to know.
Ms. Plum ~ I'm sure you have many questions, but you need to know that from the explosion earlier tonight, you suffered a concussion and severe bruising. While you are going to be sore for some time, and the headache will be bothersome, you will be fine. However, the sound from the explosion has damaged both of your ears to such a degree that we do not believe you will be able to hear at all initially. As the inner ears heal, you may regain some hearing, but at least for the next few weeks, we expect you to experience ringing in your ears as your only auditory signal.
It was direct, honest, and yet still gave Stephanie the hope of regaining some hearing over time without promising it. I could see from Stephanie's eyes that she was reading and rereading the note.
She finally looked up and said, "I'm deaf."
The nurse picked up a legal pad and a wide pen to respond. No, you have a temporary hearing loss. Your doctor will explain more tomorrow after he checks out the damage while you're awake.
"When can I go home?" Stephanie asked in a very soft voice.
The nurse smiled and wrote, Tomorrow. I'll be waking you every two hours for the concussion, and if all goes well with your check up in the morning, you can be released into Mr. Brown's care.
Steph nodded and leaned back into my chest. I knew she hadn't run out of questions, she just needed a little time to wrap her mind around what she had learned so far. I thanked the nurse, who cupped Stephanie's face and smiled at her once more in a warm, motherly way.
"Thank you, Betsy," Stephanie replied, obviously appreciating the gesture and being more observant than I had been in calling the nurse by the name clipped to her uniform.
"Do you need anything?" the woman I now knew as Betsy asked me. "I'm just guessing that you'll be here all night."
I nodded that she was correct and declined anything. Just before she reached the door, I said, "Thank you for typing that out. I didn't know how to tell her."
"It's not your job to tell her," the nurse corrected me. "It's your job to support her and encourage her while she deals with all of this, but explaining the ins and outs of her body is our job."
I couldn't stop the feeling of relief at her words. I could handle this the way she explained it. I looked down at Stephanie and let my blank face go so that everything I was feeling would be evident on my face. Then I willed Stephanie to understand and accept that I was staying with her, no matter what the future held.
Her arms tightened against me, and I hoped that meant she'd gotten the message loud and clear. I pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, still able to catch some of the scent of her shampoo over the ash and smoky smell from the explosion.
Steph pulled back and scooted over, grimacing a little from the pain of moving. She patted the bed next to her, before asking, "Will you stay with me?"
"Of course," I replied with a smile, without considering she might not understand. I moved to stretch out beside her on the bed, my leg appreciating the change in position immediately.
Two hours later, I jerked awake when the nurse returned.
"Do you want to wake her up?" she asked, giving me the chance to do it, probably knowing Stephanie wouldn't be as disoriented if she could see me when her eyes opened.
I ran my finger along the edge of her face and said her name, before remembering that wasn't going to do anything. I pulled her hands away from my chest and moved back a little to break the connection between us. Her eyes bolted open then, and she moved to see why I wasn't holding her.
I cupped her face to get her attention quickly, before her mind went wild with various possibilities. I could see her mind spinning, before she looked behind her to see the nurse watching us closely.
"Concussion check, right?"
That earned her another smile and a nod of agreement. "See you in two hours," the nurse said before leaving.
"Wasn't she supposed to ask me questions to be sure I knew the date or the president?" Stephanie asked, a little amused by our easy going nurse.
"I guess since you knew enough to know why she was here, that was good enough," I replied, as Steph's brow furrowed, obviously not understanding what I was saying, but trying to figure it out anyway.
I pulled her to my side and pushed a little against her head so she would relax against me. It didn't take long before I felt her relax back into sleep.
Our routine repeated itself five more times through the night. At eight, after the shift change, a new nurse came in and spoke very loudly near Stephanie's ear, waking me up with enough of a start that my movement yanked Steph from her slumber, as well.
I was still coming down from the stress and sleep deprivation of my mission on top of my injury, so I understood why I would be so out of it, but I didn't like that someone had gotten the slip on me. I was going to have to go back to Haywood when we left the hospital, just so we'd both know that someone was there to watch our backs. I trusted the security at my house, but I wasn't going to tempt fate by relying only on that to keep my woman safe.
Stephanie leaned into me when she saw the nurse standing over us.
"Ms. Plum, I need to take your vitals," she practically yelled at Stephanie.
Steph looked at me with a very confused expression. I reached over the small table next to the bed and picked up the pad and marker Betsy had left during the night and wrote vitals, before turning it for Stephanie to read. Her shoulders immediately relaxed, just knowing what was happening around her.
After all the initial tests were taken and everything appeared to be normal, I asked when we should expect to see her doctor to discuss being released.
"Not until this afternoon. He doesn't have time for rounds when there is only one patient waiting for him," she replied curtly, hooking my temper in a way that I was conscious of, but unable to fight against.
Fortunately for her, Bobby walked in, with Stephanie's doctor right behind him. The nurse rolled her eyes beyond anything I'd even seen Steph attempt, and then walked out.
The doctor came over and handed Stephanie a sheet of paper that asked if it was all right for him to examine her ears. She nodded and turned in the bed so he would have better access. The doctor used an otoscope and spent longer than I'd ever seen looking at the mystery of her inner ear. He turned her head gently and repeated his study on the other side, before stepping back and flipping through a folder to pull out another printed piece of paper.
The paper gave her a few more details about the specific damage to the various parts of her ear and how the severity of each individual injury plus the complexity of them all being involved meant she could not hear at this time. He told her he wanted to assess her again in six weeks to see if a surgical repair might be an option to restore at least some of her hearing, but he warned her that there was no way for him to tell now if she would even be a candidate for that type of surgery. In the meantime, he suggested she do whatever she could to adapt to the limitation, and he provided her with a list of resources that could offer support. He also gave her a prescription for drops that would help with pain relief as the injuries healed, and that could lessen the amount of ringing that she was no doubt still experiencing. She relaxed slightly when she read the bottom that indicated the ringing would not be permanent, and he hoped it would subside over the next three to five days. Clearly, she didn't enjoy that side effect of her injury.
Then he handed Bobby a thick folder that I knew included much more detailed information about Stephanie's injury and treatment, before signing off on her chart and saying we were free to leave whenever she was ready.
Stephanie flipped to the referral pages and gave them a quick glance, but I could tell she was overwhelmed after reading about lip reading, sign language, household adjustments, and nursing care suggestions. I looked at her as Bobby finished asking his remaining questions to the doctor and thought she looked so lost.
I picked up the pad I'd used earlier and wrote, Rex is in my apartment at Haywood. The guys noticed that she had already carried the little guy down and used a seat belt in my Porsche to secure his cage in the seat, so they'd taken him up to seven to wait for us there. The explosion had rained down enough debris to knock the GPS sensor off-line, but the interior of the car was not damanged so her hamster had survived, even though he was reluctant to leave his soup can after all the excitement.
She gave me a grin that told me not only was she glad to know that piece of information, but the fact that I was giving her time to adjust to all this without hitting her up with questions and suggestions was a gift in and of itself. I wasn't a big fan of her living in denial in some instances, but in this case, I couldn't see the harm. Sometimes, in order to feel normal, you had to be allowed to act normal, and right now, I could see that was exactly what she needed.
An hour later, we were pulling into the garage at Haywood, with Bobby driving us both.
Steph turned to me and spoke in her new, softer voice, "I don't want to see the guys."
I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering why she wanted to avoid them. I'd do whatever she wanted, but I knew they were probably hoping to see for themselves that she was okay.
She knew what I wanted just from my expression, so she sat back and said, "I don't want their pity, and I can't hear them if they ask me any questions. I'll go see them after I've gotten a handle on how to communicate, but I'm not ready to face them. Not yet."
I nodded and said, "Okay, Babe, not yet." Then I pulled my cell phone and held it so that she could see my text to Tank.
No stops on the elevator to seven.
"Thank you," she said with a squeeze to my arm.
I knew she couldn't hide in the apartment forever, but I couldn't deny her the chance to at least escape there for a little while.
Bobby escorted us to seven, set Stephanie's ear drops on the counter, and pulled some paper off a table on the bar to write the instructions for their use. He also left her the prescription pain medication and a bottle of Advil, with directions to take the prescription each night – at least this evening to insure she slept – and to take Advil during the day if she wanted to avoid the hazy feeling.
Then he came right up to Stephanie and held his hands out, giving her the option of hugging him. She didn't hesitate to walk into his embrace. While I wanted to be the one that comforted her, I recognized that my men needed the chance to connect with her, too. One of the reasons I'd fallen so hard for her was that she'd accepted and cared for my men. I couldn't resent them for rallying around her now that she needed it.
When he pulled back, he picked up his phone, slid it open to type out something, and then he handed it to her to read. After a quick look, she handed it back and kissed him on the cheek, before thanking him and walking back over to my side. I pulled her tightly against me, relieved that she didn't fight against me pulling her to me.
After Bobby left, she let out a long sigh and looked around, as though she didn't know what to do next. I was at a loss, too, as I realized most of the things that had worked in the past were no longer easy options. She couldn't listen to music or hear the television or a movie. She no doubt still had a headache, so suggesting she read a book wasn't going to fly, either.
I heard her sigh and tightened my grip on her, trying to let my actions communicate more than my lack of words did. She broke the silence while my mind was still spinning for something useful to say.
"I keep thinking there has to be a good side here somewhere, but I haven't come up with it yet."
My back straightened at her comment. That was just enough of a challenge to motivate me to come up with something, even if it was a joke.
The house phone rang, which Stephanie couldn't hear, but it was exactly what I needed. I picked up the tablet Bobby had used to make notes for her medication and wrote, At least you don't have to listen to your mother complain about your apartment blowing up.
Stephanie looked at my note. I followed her eyes as they went over the two handwritten lines several times. The silence with no reaction forced me to began rethinking my approach of using humor this soon. Maybe she thought I was making light of this and I'd hurt her. I was about to apologize for being so insensitive, when Steph's body began to shake. I leaned down a little to better read her face and saw she had been attempting to hold back a laugh and was now failing. Within seconds, the apartment was flooded with the glorious sound of her laughter. I knew she was letting out more than her amusement at my off-handed comment, but Stephanie always preferred to laugh than cry, and now seemed like as good a time as any to test that out.
As she pulled herself together, she said, "And I don't have to listen to the gossip mongers in the 'Burg every time I walk into a store."
I took the tablet away and added, "Or listen to your Grandmother tell you about her latest conquest and their sexual escapades."
We both shivered at the memory of her doing that very thing. I was a pretty opened-minded man when it came to sex. There was no point in being judgmental about the fetishes and dare devil things people did, as I had probably either attempted them or done them in my life, but something about listening to Edna Mazur go on and on about her and an eighty-year-old former swimmer going at it made me feel the need to come home and take a long shower, wishing that cleaning my mind was as easy as scrubbing my body.
"I can eat without the forced guilt of someone telling me it's not good for me," she offered with a smile.
I joined in writing, And you can eat in peace in public without hearing the sound of cell phones taking your picture.
"Oh, I hate that," she agreed. "No more demanding phone calls from my mother informing me that she expects me to come to dinner."
The noise level at your family dinners when your sister's children are running around is no longer an issue, I quickly jotted down.
"Shit, if the doctor offers me a chance to fix my ears, I may decline his offer. Selective deafness has worked for husbands through the years, but having the real deal is an excuse for just about anything I don't want to do," she laughed, standing a little stronger.
We hadn't fixed her circumstances, but at least for a brief moment, we had changed her point of view and made it a little more acceptable.
She took a step away, so I let her go, watching to see what she was up to. Opening the fridge, she looked in, before making a face and moving to the cupboards. Each door was opened, and she looked in carefully, before closing it and moving to the next. Finally, she pulled a chair from the dining room table over and climbed up on it. I stood there, curious about what was going on, but I didn't want to get in her way.
She finally smiled and reached into the back of the corner cabinet, pulling out a package of Tasty Cakes. I hadn't known those were in there, which made me think she'd hidden them during one of her previous stays.
Stephanie looked at me and must have seen my confusion, because she explained, "Ella promised she'd keep something hidden in here for me for emergency purposes. I'm pretty sure this counts as an emergency, so I'm helping myself."
"It's all yours," I said, gesturing with my hand for her to help herself.
Her head turned to the side like a puppy trying to figure out the words spoken by its owner. "What did you say?"
I lifted the tablet, about to write the words, but stopped and looked at her. I said, "It's all yours," again, but I said it slower and let my lips move in a more definite way.
"All mine?" she guessed.
I didn't stop the smile that crossed my face at her right answer. "Proud of you, Babe," I told her, knowing by the grin on her face that she understood that often repeated phrase.
She was halfway through her snack cake when someone knocked on the door. Her eyes were closed, absorbing whatever value the empty calories had to offer her, so I touched her shoulder to get her attention. Her blue eyes shot open, focusing on my face for a clue about why I'd interrupted her little escape.
I help up the paper once more so she could see my warning that someone was at the door. She brushed the crumbs off her lips, and then off her shirt, before nodding that it was okay to answer the knock.
I opened the door to see Tank and Hector standing there, each with a box containing various electronic devices. I didn't know what they were up to, but the smile on my old friend's face told me it was okay to let them in.
Stephanie walked around the bar to stand at the edge of the den, too curious to hide away, despite not wanting to admit her limitations to the guys yet.
I grabbed the pad and pen once more and sat down on the sofa, pulling Stephanie to sit beside me so she could read whatever I wrote to know what was going on around her.
Tank began by explaining that he'd charged Hector with the task of finding some electronics that could help to minimize the communication issues for Stephanie while her ears were healing. It looked like Hector had taken the job seriously, as the equipment in their boxes had probably made some commission salesperson at a computer store very happy.
Steph's smile faded a little when she realized what they had was for her, but she wasn't making a move to leave, which was a relief.
Tank turned it over to Hector to run through everything. First, he pulled what looked like a two sided monitor with miniature keyboards attached to both sides. It was already on, so he set it up on the coffee table and motioned for Tank to come over and use it. Tank tapped the monitor, indicating Stephanie should look there, and then he typed on the other side, explaining this was to stay on her desk. When people came to see her, they would use this to type what they wanted to say, and she could read as they typed, which would allow her to respond as soon as they were done.
He pulled out an iPad in a fancy case that was covered with bright colors, almost looking more like a portfolio than a piece of gear. Hector handed it to Tank again, who opened the cover to display the screen facing her and a keyboard secured on the other side. He typed that she could take this with her anywhere she went so people could type and she could read, but it was portable enough to be practical offsite. I took it from him and typed the question, Are you okay with this so far?
She took it from me and hit the home button, clearly knowing her way around Apple products, and then browsed the other apps that had been loaded, including the book reader that appeared to be stocked with an impressive number of titles. She looked up, grinning, and nodded her head yes.
They'd brought a new cell phone with a stronger vibration ringer, and Tank pulled out a box that he said Hector would be installing beside the door to my apartment. It appeared to be a normal looking doorbell, but it would dim the house lights when someone rang it, so she would know someone was at the door. I thought it was interesting that they had brought equipment to altar my apartment without discussing it with me first. Of course, I wouldn't have stopped them, but I glanced at Tank, who had a knowing smirk on his face. Son of a bitch knew there'd been nothing I would deny Stephanie when we weren't together, so he knew our new relationship would only make me all the more determined to provide for her now.
They pulled up a remote control, the same brand as my television. Hector tapped a red button on it, showing us both that it controlled the closed captioned subtitles on the screen. I guess that answered the question of how she would watch movies or television.
Hector pulled out a laptop, which Stephanie objected to. "I already have a laptop."
Tank picked up the iPad and typed, True, but this one has a software package on it that you probably don't want to use when you're working.
Both her eyebrows shot up, which was the equivalent of a questioning expression from her.
Hector showed her a nearly blank desktop, except for a program icon that he double clicked, which opened a software program designed to teach her sign language.
He spoke to me in Spanish. "My sister was deaf. I used this to learn to talk to her. I can sign for her, but she needs to learn to read it. This will help."
"Gracias," I replied, knowing it didn't begin to scratch the surface.
"De nada," he assured me, looking back to Stephanie, who was clicking her way through the opening signs, already absorbing what was there.
"Any voice recognition software?" I asked, wishing there was a way for people to talk without having to type.
Tank moved his head to the side. "It exists, but it isn't very accommodating to accents or varying voices. We could probably get some tailored to your voice if you wanted it."
Seeing she was distracted, Tank added, "If she has an interest in reading lips, you can suggest she talk to Zip. It was part of his training in the Army, and he's damn good at it. That way, she could eliminate the need for electronics completely."
I had known that, but with all the stress of her being hurt, I had completely forgotten. I'd used Zip's ability to read lips to gather some useful intel by putting him at a safe distance and giving him a rifle scope and a pad of paper. It's amazing the things people will say while facing a window, foolishly assuming the glass somehow offers their secrets protection.
Steph looked up from her computer and touched Hector's hand, before placing her fingertips to her chin and moving them away from her face and slightly down at the same time. Hector repeated her motion twice, and then reached out to squeeze her hand.
She beamed at him from their brief dialogue, and I had a feeling whatever had passed between them was the first step of Stephanie retaking her independence, so it was a good thing.
She looked around at the gear the guys had provided her, and then looked to me with a combination of guilt and gratitude.
Before she could begin complaining about what we shouldn't have done, I grabbed the iPad to type a simple message.
No price, remember?
"I remember, but I didn't know this was what it meant," she replied, growing overwhelmed.
I could see she was about to get emotional and figured it was probably a good idea to break the mood a little, so I typed, Just because you don't have to listen to what other people are saying doesn't mean you can't.
"But all these tools can be our little secret to the 'Burg, right?" she teased back, not wanting to let on that there were easy ways for her family to invade her head after we'd just listed blocking them as a benefit.
I laughed and moved so that we were closer together. I couldn't help but notice the approving faces Tank and Hector were sporting. Obviously, they liked the way I was handling this, which was slightly insulting. Had they really thought there was a chance I'd bail on her? And if they thought it, did that mean Stephanie still held that fear, as well?
I knew that some things could only be shown over time, and while this might be one of those things, I intended to begin proving to her right away just how committed I was. It might take me all night long and carry over for days, but when I was finished, she was going to know in the deepest part of her how I felt. Of course, she might be too exhausted to care…but at least she'd know.