Love's Ultimatum.
Chapter Three
BASS1
The limo's license plate snagged Blair's attention as she approached her 5th avenue building. She almost clipped the doorman with her shopping bags and quickly jerked left to avoid walking into the door.
BASS1 equaled Chuck Bass. Her stomach churned like a dough mixer as she watched her ex - her husband - climb from the car.
Ever since she'd heard the clinic's message on her voicemail informing her that her request for Chuck's sperm had been denied, she'd known it was only a matter of time before he came looking for her. The clinic must have contacted him. Her attorney had warned her of the possibility.
But nothing could prepare her for Chuck looming over her before she could even make it to the elevators. Heart racing and her mouth going dry, she fought to appear calm, and stepped into the lift.
Dreading the conversation ahead, she tipped back her head to look up at the man she'd once loved with all her heart. The man who'd broken her.
Chuck had changed. And yet he hadn't. His eyes were still impossibly deep and his hair inky dark, but somehow thinner. His shoulders were as broad as she remembered and even with him wearing his suit, she could tell he hadn't added any fat to his lean torso. If anything, his jaw looked more chiseled.
But the past seven years had been hard on him. There were grooves beside the mouth she'd once loved to kiss, and new horizontal lines fanning from his eyes, although he used to smile often during the early days of their relationship, before he'd taking over Bass industries.
"Hello, Chuck."
"Blair. Or should I say Mrs. Bass?" His deep gravelly tone filled her tummy with the sensation of scattering butterflies. "How long have you known?"
She could have played dumb, but didn't see the point. "That we weren't devoiced? Only a few weeks."
"And you didn't call me."
"Like you didn't call me when you decided not to file the papers?"
He frowned at the snippy tone. "There's more to it then that."
"Enlighten me." And then she remembered that they were still in the elevator. "But you will have to finish this riveting story inside. I don't want the neighbored knowing my business."
His hip and shoulder bumped hers as he nudged past her to take her shopping bags. Her senses went wild over the contact. The way they used to. Damn it. Her reaction didn't mean anything. She was over him. Well and truly over him he'd ripped out her heart piece by piece before she'd left him. No feelings remained other then regret and disappointment.
"Get the door," he ordered.
His words shocked her into motion. He hadn't been here since the early days of their short marriage when this had been her mother's apartment. Blair had made a lot of changes since then as she'd turned the museum like penthouse into an inviting home.
They walked through the foyer and he followed her past the spiral staircase and living room to the kitchen.
"Where do you want these? Chuck asked.
"On the floor, I'll have Dorota deal with it." As soon as he set it down, she transferred her gaze and let loose.
"So…..What's so complicated about slapping a stamp on the envelope containing the divorce paperwork?"
"Eric thought he was doing us a favor by giving us cool-down time. He put the papers in a file cabinet."
"For six years?"
"They'd probably still be in the drawer if you hadn't tried to get my sperm." Eyes narrowing, he leaned against the counter and crossed his arms and ankles. "So you still want to have a baby."
His speculative tone put her on guard. "I want to have a baby. You just happened to be a donor I knew."
"And you planned to have my child without informing me?"
She grimaced. "Probably not one of my best decisions. But after going through page after page of other potential donors, I had too many unanswered questions. But now that you've refused I'll go back to my anonymous candidates."
His unblinking gaze held hers. "Not necessarily."
"What do you mean?"
"Blair, I always wanted you to have my baby."
"Not true. Don't you remember the false alarm during high school?"
"The timing was wrong. We weren't even together. And then as we got older I was trying to adjust to a new job."
"A job you hated. One that made you miserable."
"My father left me the responsibility, Bass Industries needed me."
"So did I, Chuck." She hated the telling cracks in her voice, but the sadness of watching their love unravel hit her all over again, making her throat tighten. "I needed the man I fell in love with, the one I married. I was more then willing to help you deal with your grief over losing your father. But I couldn't stand by and watch that job destroy you. You gave up everything, became a different person and in the process you became a silent, uncommunicative stranger. We didn't talk. We didn't make love. You were barely ever home."
"I was working, not cheating on you."
"Watching our love die was more then I could bear."
"When did it die?'
"You tell me." when she'd caught herself turning to alcohol to dull the pain of her unhappiness, she'd known that no matter how much she loved him she'd end up just like her bitter, unhappy mother if she didn't get out.
"I loved you right up until the day you left me. We could have made it work, Blair, if you'd given us a chance."
"I don't think so. Not as long as you where in that depression." She tried to shake off the bad memories. "I'll have my attorney draw up another set of divorce papers. Like last time, I want nothing from you."
"Except my child."
Another dream dead. They'd once planned to have a family - at least two children, maybe three, because they had both hated growing up as only children. "Like I said I will go back to donors."
"You don't have to."
Her heartbeat blipped out of rhythm. What are you saying?"
"You can have my baby."
She forced a breath into her tight chest. "The clinic said your sample had been destroyed. Are you planning to make another donation?"
"I'm not talking about frozen sperm or artificial insemination."
Her tongue felt dry as parchment paper. "Then what are you suggesting, Chuck?"
"I'll give you my baby - the usual way?"
Stunned by the idea of making love with Chuck again, she staggered backward into the counter. But an undeniable wisp of desire snaked through her. They'd been so good together. She'd experienced nothing remotely close to that level of fulfillment since Chuck. But she couldn't risk it.
"No. That isn't an option. I didn't do casual sex before and I'm not going to start now."
"It's not casual sex when we're still married."
Tempting and dangerous. "Why would you agree to that?"
"I'm almost thirty. It's time to think about kids."
Alarm ripped through her. "I'm not looking for someone to be a part of my child's life."
"You business takes up what? Fifty, sixty hours a week? Plus fashion week her and in Paris. When do you plan on having time to be a parent?"
Had he been checking up on her? "I'll make time."
"Like Eleanor did?"
She winced as the barb hit deep. "That's low - even for you, Chuck."
Her mother had worked long hours as her designs, traveling overseas frequently. That left little Blair to be raised by her believed nanny Dorota.
"It will be easier to raise a child with two parents and better for the child. It's also a good backup plan in case something happens to either of us."
Horrified by the implication, she backed away. "We might still be married, but we're not staying that way."
"I want to share every aspect of the pregnancy and delivery and be apart of the baby's first year. After that we can go our separate ways - other then sharing custody. We'll keep the option open for our child to have the siblings we never had."
"More children? Are you crazy?" But what he said appealed on so many levels. Too many levels.
"I want to be a father, Blair. I want a family."
"Don't you have a girlfriend?"
"I Could ask you the same question. No men in the picture?"
"I'm not seeing anyone." She'd be insane to risk her heart and health again. Shaking her head, she paced to the opposite side of the kitchen. "Thanks for your generous offer, but I'll stick with my donor list."
"You'd rather depend on a questionnaire that's probably no more truthful than a personal ad?"
Another direct hit. She had wondered how factual the donor data might be. "I'll choose carefully."
"Think about it, Blair. The plans we made. The house in the Hamtons we brought together. Your baby could have it all."
Her heart squeezed. "You still have the Hampton house?"
"Yes."
They'd spent the first six months of their marriage trying to find the perfect vacation home. Blair spent the second six months alone trying to figure out how to save her dying marriage.. In the end all she could do was save herself.
"Chuck, it's a crazy idea."
"So was us being together behind Nate's back. But it worked."
"For a while. And you are still running Bass Industries. Nothing has changed."
"The company is under control now. It doesn't consume me like it used to . Move in with me. Let's make a baby, Blair."
She gaped at him. "Move in with you?"
"Have my child. Allow me to spend the baby's first year under the same roof, and then I'll give you an incontested divorce and pay full child support."
A tiny, sentimental part of her wanted to agree. Blair had always believed Chuck would make a wonderful father - the kind she wanted for her children. She's experienced firsthand how patient and encouraging he could be during her first year of collage. But letting him back into her life was scary and risky.
She had to be crazy, because she was actually considering his suggestion. But maybe…just maybe this insane idea could work. Focus on the result. A baby. Someone to love and come home to each night. But if she was going to keep her head and her sanity, she needed to lay ground rules.
"Chuck, hooking up just to have a baby is crazy."
"It could work - for both of us."
"If I agree to this, then I'll want to choose our apartment."
"I'll get someone to help you"
She rubbed her hands together. Her heart pounded wildly out of rhythm. She gulped, trying to ease the knot in her throat. Okay, I'll consider it, but I have a few conditions."
Victory flared in his eyes, giving her a moment's panic. "Name them."
"We need time to get to know each other again and make sure this crazy scheme can work before jumping back into bed together."
"How much time?"
"I don't know. A month, I guess. That should be long enough to determine whether or not we're still compatible."
"Agreed."
"If it's not working, then either of us can back out and you will sign the divorce papers."
He dipped his chin, "I'll sign."
The sense of panic squeezed tighter, as if she was drowning and desperate for air. Was she crazy to plan on bringing a baby into a broken marriage? Her baby would know from day one that it was wanted, planned, not a mistake that derailed her life.
"I-I want my own bedroom. We'll get together….when it's time…if we decide to go through with the plan."
The creases in his forehead deepened. "If you insist."
"I do." she smothered a wince at the words she'd spoken so many years ago. Back then her heart and head had been filled with happiness, dreams and possibilities, instead of a stomach-twisting fear that she was making a huge mistake.
"Anything else?"
She searched her brain for more protective barriers to build, but her thoughts churned so chaotically she could barely think. "Not at the moment. But I reserve the right to revisit this later, if need be."
"I accept your terms and have a few of my own"
She stiffened. "Let's hear them."
"I want to keep the real reason for our living together between us. It is critical that our family, friends and business associates believe we are trying to reconcile rater than temporarily hook up to make a baby."
Could she fake that kind of happiness? For a baby she could do almost anything. "I guess that would be better in the long run - especially if there is a child."
"Then we have a deal?"
Doubts swirled through her like fruit pureeing in the blender.
She nodded and extended her hand. Chuck's long fingers encircled hers. He simultaneously tugged and stepped forward, then covered her mouth with his.
Shock crashed over her like a waterfall as his warm, firm lips moved against hers. Familiar sensations deluged her, sweeping her back into a current of desire and far out of her depth. Even though he was six feet and she was barely five foot five, they'd always fit together like perfect cut puzzle pieces. His thigh spliced between hers, his strong arms enfolded her, tucking her into his chest. It felt as if she had never left his arms, and she was right back where she was supposed to be.
Horrified, she broke the kiss and shoved against his chest. Gasping for air, she backed away, but she couldn't deny the turbulent flood of hunger slicing through her.
"What was that about?"
"Sealing the deal."
"Don't do it again."
"I'm not allowed to touch you?"
"No. Not until…it's time."
"Blair, to make our reconciliation look real, we're going to have to touch and kiss and act like we're in love."
"I'm a designer, not an actress."
He dragged a knuckle down her cheek and over the pulse hammering in her neck, then along the neckline of her top. She shivered and her nipples tightened.
"Let your body do the talking. You still want me and it shows."
She gasped at his audacity. Unfortunately, he told the truth. Her reaction to a simple kiss told her she still wanted her husband. And wanting Chuck was the worst possible thing that could happen.
If she wasn't careful, Chuck Cass would break her heart all over again or worse, drive her to self-destruction. And then she'd be no good for anyone - especially her child.