I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.This is for entertainment purpose only.
A/N: not good at grammar...enjoy the story...
Chapter 2 – You Don't Know Me
Sometimes, fate can be crueler than you think. Here was a man who had been there in every step of the way; always laughing from her silly jokes even most of the times were not, always treating her out to many fanciful and 'almost romantic' places; always been there to share his wild stories that exploit most of her innocent side, and many more. Never in his 'slacking and debauchery' existence had he perceived himself as a desperate fool for a woman's attention and love. Born in a family of handsome rogues, he was known to be a ladies' man. But as far as most people would recognize today, the man had already made his intention very clear that he had shackled himself to a specific woman. The funny thing was, not a single clue had his beloved knew about his priceless offering – his loyalty and undying love. He didn't care what will other people might think of him as long as he was happy embracing a little portion of her heart.
That was before when he was still contented of one-sided setting. He began to crave for more.
Soujiro had been her underdog for a long time. To be exact - 3 and half years. He can be called a fool for yearning to be loved by a commoner but that small insulting calling didn't matter to him at all. Since the day he had invaded her personal space at his cousin's marriage luncheon, he hadn't been out from Misao's life most of the time. He had been always there to show how much he really cares for the fiery midget.
No regrets came by to ponder on his thoughts. None.
Before it was alright to be at the shadows, pretending at ease of his special feelings about her but as time went by his heart began to tire. It began to yearn for more. His efforts of winning her favor were not enough to make her notice his intentions. It wasn't enough to make her see the man behind the half-meant smiles, the one who loves her and waiting to be loved back, only by her.
There was a time that he saw praying to a Higher Being would grant his wish. Silly as it is for a grown up atheist man, he did try the idea out of his desperation.
Uplifting his sore ego by answering it with a gentle smile was always there to help him cope up with his own painful dilemma. In short, it had been a part of his system already – to hide the real dreadful feelings from the very person who had caused it.
So this is love. Soujiro had scoffed at the very possibility of him being entangled into its sticky web. But look at him…..who is laughing now?
Here shows his very pathetic existence, grasping to the little chance he might have her. After so many times of lending his soaring ears just to hear her cries of misery to a man who isn't worth a single penny of her thoughts. Soujiro vowed to remedy both of their aching hearts by taking her away from him completely, in any manner.
Somehow, he no longer knew himself after pledging heartily those bold words. He had become what he intentionally evaded for so long – a man very much in-love. This was her fault.
"I beg to differ," Misao disagreed indignantly. "He shouldn't have played her for a fool as he learnt that she had special feelings toward him. It was so nasty of him to do so. I hate him the most!"
They were arguing about the hero of the movie they had just freshly watched; of his motives on why he had done so many hurtful and disappointing things to his heroine, breaking her heart to die when in truth he really did love her. She couldn't fathom the hero's idea of true love.
Her infuriation was fueled more when the heroine in the movie died in the end without even knowing her man's pledge of true love for her as he numbly cradled her into his trembling arms. She was lifeless and deaf to the world, leaving the eerie feeling of guilty and sorrowful emotions to the man who loved her. It was so very late of him to say those yearning words of idealistic love. So why bother to understand and forgive him?
"You should understand, Misao, that he had loved like that before. He was just afraid to face the facts that he is falling all over again to the same feeling that left him almost dead." Soujiro calmly explained. It was so odd of him to defend the man's disposition when in truth he too wanted to throttle the hero's neck for giving the heroine a broken heart which is a huge factor of her fading will to fight for her life against Death. Maybe because he was also a man that also shares and understands some of its own gender demise when it comes to love.
He had done some part of his own 'hurting' to his women before. To clear that out, it wasn't any physical – hardly actually - but more of the emotional side liked what the hero of the movie did to his love. He had branded himself a free rogue and no live woman in this world will ever take that away from his beliefs.
Until he had met her….
He now gravely understood of being left in limbo, having no idea where this guarded relationship with hers will lead to. He also well understood this exceptional frustration of not having the one he wanted the most. He had learned a lot and realized so many things about what he had taken for granted which is the power of love.
Thanks to this young, cheeky angel Misao.
If he could only make her see him instead of his cousin Aoshi, sure, his future will be a lot brighter. And so goes to her.
He will not ask for more.
Suddenly he had pictured Misao hurting her by reprimanding her of her foolish hopes of capturing Aoshi's interest when it was clear that the stoic man had been very much off-limits since he had been wed to his lusty, beautiful wife Megumi more than three years ago. Misao hadn't been that too obvious in her ploy, never did try even once in action but there was no doubt that her heart was still clinging to a tiny fragment of hope that Aoshi look upon her. It was like she was begging of something from Aoshi. That was love and interest that will never be given so freely.
If she only knew that she and the hero of the movie also shared some similar situations in matters of love problems…..
At least he was glad that Misao had settled her limits of being a foolish loves struck unlike the woman in the movie they had seen together. She knew her grounds even though it hurts to live in a world where all the odds were against her. He too knew that well.
Or is it?
"That's rubbish!" she exclaimed. "Even so, a big, burly, handsome man like him should have had regained his confidence and trust back in love in no time!"
"You know that we are not talking about the physical trait in here, Misao. It is more of the heart," Soujiro tapped his chest close to his heart with his pale, fine fingers. He then sat beside her at the couch, with one of his arms slouch next to her back. Getting close to her personal space seemed he loved doing.
Misao didn't mind Soujiro's sudden closeness. She was used to it, treating it a normal act. She feebly sighed and shrugged. "Yes, I know. I just don't think that it is right to have the woman suffer under his bidding. It wasn't fair to begin with. He should have thought of her feelings also instead of shielding himself from the pain he might get from loving her. Ok. I get the point that he was deeply hurt from his previous relationship from his first love but that doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. What if he already found the right woman? And with that sour attitude of his, man, no wonder women wanted to flee from his hold." Misao half-heartedly smiled, murmuring. "Even if he's too damn sexy and handsome to resist."
Since when did Misao take notice more of a man's face better than of his personality?
"Don't look at me like that!" She scoffed. "I was just merely stating a fact that most women will say if they ever get a chance to meet an alluring guy like him." Then she raised one of her guilty brows.
It was true, indeed. He too had felt the same magnetism when it comes to pretty ladies.
Soujiro chortled. "Ah! But you have to admit that it was also the woman's fault why she had fallen into such a disgrace. She knew from the start that the man was in deep sorrow, mourning for the lost cherished love he had; a tragedy that he had not taken so lightly. She shouldn't have demanded his full love when it was all too fresh from his system. Serves her right to learn the painful lesson."
"HA! Fresh? He had been mourning for the lost for three years! It isn't healthy, both mind and body."
"And since when did you get to be the expert to these situations, Madame Misao? Was this come out from one of your 'vast' relationship experiences?" Soujiro taunted. He was trying to hide his smile but failed miserably.
Misao's cheeks began to redden. She was searching for the right words to shot back. Few seconds grew, she was still unable to.
Soujiro already knew the answer and yet there was this cajole in his heart wanting to know the truth from her very enticing lips. His eyes fell to her pink lips as she was still finding the right words to say, to explain her side. Its movements were languid. The unintentional pout she made was distracting him so much. He wanted to kiss her and it brought back the memories he had with her at the very first time they met.
He wanted to kiss those lips since the first time his eyes saw her amongst the colonnade of the Shinomori's West Garden. She was alone and obviously not enjoying the very festivity of her guardian's clan. Why? It was so much noticeable from the way she looked at the happy couple. Misao had worn those sad cerulean eyes and it hunted him ever since. Never did he ever see a woman silently sweep for her love and remained at good control despite the slow piercing of her heart. Never did he realize that that same affection will pull him to her when he was known to be a cad.
And never did he ever realize that she will be the woman he will want for to be his wife.
It took a few weeks before he was completely fallen-in-love to Misao's charms. She was fun to be with, opinionated and very thoughtful. Small, pretty and cheeky, Soujiro sometimes couldn't keep up with Misao's appetite with excitement and silly what knots. Whenever he was with her, he couldn't stop laughing and the feeling of euphoria was still there, never waning. But like every relationship, there were times that they were not in good terms with each other but that didn't sour their special bond. It made their bond grew stronger. Both of them never pass the day without settling the anger and pain. They valued their relationship more than nurturing their senseless pride. She was such a priceless chit to behold. Misao had thought him so many things about life which he had just passed by.
He also knew that she didn't tolerate cad like him but that didn't stop from forming a special bond. She never insisted to change his way of life but rather oblivious that she had done it without even saying a single reprimand. Misao had him forget other women since then.
Ha! No sex or even a little hanky-panky in 3 and a half years.
It was then he realized that he too share the same fate with the woman in the movie. Begging for love is the least he wanted to do to his almost pathetic existence. It was not done by him. Not in a million years.
But here he was, evidently feeling the same dread the heroine had experienced and was seemingly leaving him to the brink of extinction if he couldn't tell her of his feelings….or to make it more vivid – to have her as his forever love as the heroine would put it in her shoes in the movie.
Added the infuriating fact that his married cousin Aoshi still unknowingly possessed her heart.
To begin with, it wasn't a good idea to make her to love him instead of his married cousin. Soujiro wanted her to love him as he is, not as a replacement. But how could he tell her that without building any walls between them.
"Do you really hate the man from the movie?" Suddenly, the atmosphere became serious which gave Misao a slight shiver upon hearing Soujiro's voice.
"Well, I guess not really." She was curious about the sudden change of her pal's mood. She was looking for his eyes but his bangs hid them. Then she gave up on searching them. Instead, she looked towards the closest window that showed the view of the full moon. "I just hate him because he never reciprocated the love the heroine gave to him. He knew that she loves him dearly but instead, he played her for a fool. He used her countless times; he had his fill on her and then what?! It was all too late in the end when he realized his faults because she finally chose death to flee from her heart ache. He wasted it all, for Christ sake!"
There was a tear broke out from one of her eyes. Good thing that the falling tear was out of his view.
In truth, Misao was deeply hurt upon the hero's continuous evade to the woman's love which somehow reflected much of her own demise when it comes to her love life. The woman shouldn't have died in the end of the story if he only opened his heart to her. Misao could still remember the last parting words from her lips as she bid farewell to the one she loves. If the hero hadn't been that so attach to his past, everything will be alright.
In her case, it was understandable that the man she loves had valid reasons to avoid her. Not because that he doesn't like to love, it was of simple truth that he was already married and very much oblivious to Misao's feelings. Aoshi had no feelings for her but a mere acquaintance to the mansion; her guardian of some sort. She only wanted for him to know what she really felt but fate had been cruel to her. Like the heroine in the story, she might not have the chance to hear Aoshi's words that he too loved her. Hoping for something foolish again, she reprimanded herself. The only difference between Aoshi and the man in the movie was that one of them at least knew the other party's feeling. The fictitious man at least knew about the situation having some light and hopes that they could fix their relationship up while on hers….it was very much destined to doom and be forgotten to the shadows of her secrets.
She will never be given the chance to acknowledge that love for him for he is already owned by somebody else. And even so, given the chance that he was single, Aoshi wasn't the type to look upon her and give some romantic notions that could stir up a woman's eternal lust and love.
She should have surpassed this yearning for him! It was almost 4 years since that fateful day and now she was acting like a jealous ninny all because of the angst romantic movie she and Soujiro watched this evening at the entertainment room. Somehow, she founded herself at the same shoes of the hero she despised. She too wasn't that much healed from the heartbreak.
Soujiro was right. It takes time for a heart to heal when it comes to emotional problems. She cursed. Looking at herself right now at that weakened state made her hate herself. All words she had said a while ago somehow back fired at her. Before she pointed dirt at somebody's faces she should have to see hers first.
"If you are the woman in the movie, will you ever stop loving him despite the fact that he will never reciprocate yours?" Soujiro set another bomb that will tick some of Misao's guarded thoughts.
There had been minutes before she answered his question. She was hesitant at first. "I might have…..done the same thing, Soujiro."
She felt her friend's stirring and body disagreement with what she had said. Knowing that those words weren't enough to settle his thoughts, she continued to explain. "But it was not at the same level as hers. I know that I should at least try to save myself from the depth of misery. Only I can help myself. Crying over for the spilled milk won't do any change to the situation."
Why is it that she had done a grievous act, feeling that she had half-lied just to say those encouraging words?
Then there was a long silence. Though the mansion was built with thick walls, they could still hear the chirping of the crickets at the late hour of the night.
"Are you sure about that?" Soujiro asked.
Misao looked at his way, wanting to his from his young face if he was dead serious about asking that question.
"You don't mean to ask that, do you?" She wanted to know.
Sensing all of the matters at hand were going off tangent, Soujiro had to stop pestering her. As much as he wanted her to tell him the truth, confessing about her unending more-than-infatuation emotions towards Aoshi, he didn't want to ruin their night because of such selfish act.
But the thing here is that, he had been so unselfish for so long that a mere provoke on her part or any situation that will help ignite his frustrations will change everything. He had to control himself, finding the right time for him to tell about what he felt for her and then her own not-so-secret love.
Now was not the right time especially when the movie they had watched reflected so many similarities to their current situation. He should have checked the movie first before he had invited Misao to watch it with him. Next time, a comedy romance will do the job.
The ring from his cellular phone was his diversion; a savior in time.
He picked up his cell phone from his jacket's secret pocket and answered the call. "Hai?!"
After 20 seconds talking on his phone, Soujiro snapped back his flip-top cell phone and momentarily stared at nothingness. Misao was a bit alarmed at the sudden change of his mood. Seeing his eyes turned almost shock had made her worried more.
"What is it? Is there something happened?" She went close to him, closing the small gap between them. She even patted his other free hand which was resting on his lap.
If she only knew what made his heart pounded a faster pace as she had placed her hand above his. But now wasn't the right time to enjoy her innocent touch. He had to leave at that very moment.
"I have to go, Misao." To his dismay, he abruptly stood as he prepared for his leave.
"You are going without telling me what's bothering you? I know that there is something in that call and you can't hide it from me. You smile and yet there is something amiss. You are some kind of a prick, you know!" She was back to her usual self.
Soujiro sweetly smiled at her and out of no where did he offer his lips to kiss her knuckle. "I really have to go, Misao. No time to explain."
"What?!" She was oblivious to what Soujiro had just done which was the kissing part. She was more interested in knowing about the news from the call that made him frantic to go.
"All I can say that it isn't between life and death. Oyasumi nasai." Then he strode towards the door and left her there, giving her no chance to question him further.
It was indeed between life and death situation, Soujiro cursed.
So, he lied. He had to.
The young, angelic-faced man was finally outside the huge door as the old butler of the Mansion politely bid him goodnight and safe driving. He was all unaware of the man's courtesy but instead he was like walking in trance.
Damn the phone call! Before he was thanking for the sudden intrusion but after learning the news it brought, his life came tumbling down. He no longer see the brightness of his future.
The picture he wanted to have for himself and Misao was at jeopardy. Now he was at last convinced that he had to be bold this time. Perhaps tomorrow will be the good timing.
Grasping his cell phone in tight clasp, he remembered repeatedly their conversation.
The caller was Aoshi, telling him the exact words of – "I have some news for you. Megumi and I are getting a divorce."
a/n: ah...i intend to make this a brief story. i should be doing that to my other fics as well. easily said than done, eh?
ok guys...you see the picture here? interesting developments, neh? ok then...have to go and think for the next lines, if i have my mood back into writing. Thanks for the reviews.