JE created and owns the characters below.
Jenny (JenRar) you have been a wonderfully patient beta. Thank you for your hard work, especially with my crazy writing schedule.
A/N: I am so sorry for dropping off the face of the earth last week. Real life came in the form of a team of four CPAs sitting in my office to ask me questions and request reports to complete my agency's annual audit. It didn't leave any time for writing or posting so I had to buck up and actually work hard during my time in the office. Hopefully that ordeal is behind me for another year, leaving me all kinds of time to catch up and get back into my usual groove of posting. For those of you who sent messages checking up on me – thanks! It was nice to be missed.
Chapter 12 - Master Plans
"So this is actually the second time you've had your ass handed to you over assigning shadows to Stephanie without telling her about it first," Tank said, standing over me in the sparring ring, offering a hand to help me up.
"You could say that, but I have to admit, this round is a lot easier to handle," I replied, twisting the offered arm and kicking his legs from underneath him, forcing his large frame to bounce on the mat.
While Tank used the rope to pull himself up, I played back in my mind my disagreement with Stephanie yesterday, and in those few seconds when Tank was shaking his head to clear it, something she said hit me much harder than the big guy's taped fist ever could.
"Shit!" I swore aloud, making Tank relax his stance and join me on my side of the ring.
"You ready to admit defeat this easy?" he asked. "It's only been forty minutes; we used to be good for at least an hour and a half when we did this."
I should have called him on that, trying to make us sound like we were a couple of old ladies, but I was still stuck in the memory. "Yesterday, when Stephanie was telling me how she figured out about the tail I'd assigned her, she said that she was at the park on Monday, trying to figure out how she could still work with Vinnie."
"Oh hell. What did you say to stop her?" he asked.
"I didn't say anything; she kept talking and went over the story of how she'd figured out what I'd done. I hadn't thought about her going after skips again until just then. I don't even know what she decided," I informed him.
"She could get torn apart on the streets," Tank pointed out, as though I couldn't see all the different ways this had bad idea written on it.
"True, but would you want to be the one to point that out to her?" I turned it around on him.
"Hell, no. That's the boyfriend's job," he laughed at me.
I winced at the word boyfriend. I'd always hated that term, and even when I was of an appropriate age, I hadn't thought it described me. Now that I had fifteen more years of experience, I definitely didn't want it on me as a label.
"I'm pretty sure that argument with Stephanie yesterday was supposed to teach me that she doesn't need me making decisions like that for her," I pointed out, knowing it was the coward's response if I left it like that.
"No, the argument yesterday was about you taking her choices away and not telling her about it. There's nothing wrong with you having a calm discussion, where you offer her some other alternatives to picking up skips by herself and risking her life," he reasoned.
"What alternatives would that be? Working in the office all day on searches? Maybe handling the paperwork you hate so much?" As I said it, I knew my sarcasm wasn't helping, but this was serious. How did I keep her safe and still allow her options in light of the fact that she'd be picking up skips that used to get the jump on her even when she could hear them coming?
"She could still do distractions," he put out there.
"How?" I challenged him, wanting him to consider how she could read the lips of a skip at a bar without giving away her disability.
"She manages to talk to us without it being a problem, and if she misses something, she could play it off as being drunk," he suggested.
"It's too risky," I corrected him, wanting to put a stop to this ridiculous discussion. "If the skip picked up on her inability to hear, it would increase the likelihood of it being used against her."
When he didn't respond, I turned to look at him and saw his face battle hard and glaring right at me. I pushed away from the ropes and readied myself for the attack I knew was coming. He picked up his right fist that he loved to lead with, and I all but gift wrapped my head for him by leaning away from that side so the blow from his left took me to the mats.
He knelt beside me to speak softly. "I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that I just knocked some sense into you, because if that didn't work, I can tell we're going to be spending a lot more time down here in the future. You need to get your head on straight and remember this is Stephanie you're talking about. You seem to think because she's lost her hearing, she's lost her sense of adventure and her need to get out. You need to spend a little time thinking about how to accommodate what she wants, instead of finding reasons that she can't do the things you know she's going to want to do."
Then the bastard walked off and left me there. I should have gotten up, but I just rolled over and stared at the ceiling, instead. Obviously, I needed to look at things a little differently, because as much I wanted to haul his big ass back into the ring to get him back for the cheap shot, I knew what he'd said was exactly right.
How was I going to balance this need to protect Stephanie without caging her and breaking her spirit? I used to think there was no situation I couldn't strategize through, but this was way beyond what I could handle, because I'd done the one thing I used to say I never could. I'd let her in, and now, I considered her absolutely vital to my existence, the thought of losing her was so overwhelming that I couldn't think past the possibilities for danger that surrounded her every time she left the building.
I heard the door to the gym open and knew I should get up, but I couldn't quite manage it. I wasn't really hurt; I just felt like the answer was almost in my grasp, and I was afraid if I got up now and broke the spell staring at the ceiling had inspired, I wouldn't be able to figure this out.
I could hear whispering, but my mind was too engaged in running scenarios that I didn't try to figure out who it was. It wasn't until my cousin and medic bent down over me, interfering with my view of the tiles above me, that I realized who had come in.
"Do I need to get my kit?" Bobby asked uncertainly.
"Nah, I'm good," I told him, not convincing him of that fact.
"What's doing, cuz?" Lester spoke up, taking me at my word but knowing something was off, even if my body was fine.
"Just trying to figure something out and coming up with nothing," I surprised us all by replying. Shit, I couldn't afford to pick up on Stephanie's habit of blurting things out with no filtering first.
"Want to share a little more?" Les followed up. "We're more than just handsome faces... We might be able to help."
I couldn't help but smile at his lack of humility and shook my head no. "I think this is one I have to figure out on my own."
This time, Bobby spoke up, "The fact that you're so convinced this has to be all on you tells me it has something to do with Bomber. Can I suggest that you at least talk to her about it? If you're struggling to find a solution, you might find that she's really good at sorting out the impossible."
"You guys aren't all bad," I told them, making them both light up like school boys. I couldn't have them walking around with swelled heads, so I added, "I don't care what Tank says about you. I think you're all right."
With that little seed of doubt planted, I jumped up and walked out, hoping like hell that I wasn't going to regret taking Bobby up on his advice. I trusted Stephanie with my life, so I needed to give her that same trust with her own. I needed to understand what she was planning on doing so she would know how worried I was for her and how committed I was to supporting her, while making it as safe as possible.
My leg was sore, so I took the extra few minutes to wait on the elevator to go up to seven and used that time to plan out what I was going to say.
Of course, it was only 0600, so she was nowhere near ready to wake up when I walked in the bedroom, and I swore at my lack of forethought on the time while I was planning out this great speech.
I jumped in the shower and took my time getting ready for the day, trying to steam out some of the soreness from going a few rounds with Tank this morning.
By the time I was ready to get dressed, it was 0700, so I decided it was late enough that I could risk waking Stephanie up to see if she'd be willing to talk. I tossed the towel that had been wrapped around my waist and walked over to the edge of the bed.
Everything about waking my woman appealed to me. First, there was the difficulty of doing it. I loved a good challenge, and she was never as stubborn as she was when it came to trying to stay in bed. Then there was the slow reveal of her body as I pulled the covers back to expose her creamy skin. I never got tired of unwrapping her like some sort of cosmic gift, created for the sole purpose of forcing my blood to pump with an urgency that nothing else touched.
And then there was my favorite part. As she would begin to wake up, her voice was always a little lower and scratchy, dripping of sex appeal, and she would stretch and press her body against mine, strategically channeling that increased blood flow. I'd challenge any red blooded male to try waking up Stephanie without it giving them a raging hard on and the desire to roll her over so they could push their way right into her body. Then again, if there was ever a warm blooded male near enough to see this side of Stephanie, I'd shoot him before his body had a chance to react, so I guess that wasn't a challenge anyone could really live up to.
It took nearly fifteen minutes of kissing, rubbing, and nipping at her neck, shoulders, and back, before I realized she wasn't going to wake up with such a gentle approach. I needed to take this to the next level, so I spooned up close behind her and used my right leg to push hers forward, bending it at the knee and giving me access to the place I most wanted to be between her thighs.
Luckily, after our make up session of sex last night, we'd both been too exhausted to even attempt to put on clothes, so she was still completely naked. Her body was tempting me with a silky siren song no one else was capable of singing
I took a minute to bend my body around hers, fitting us together perfectly so that my now hard erection was between her split thighs, just resting in the promise of warmth there. I took a deep breath and got the heady mixture of her cherry vanilla shampoo, mixed with the scent of our lovemaking from the night before. And what do you know; I could get harder still just from that smell alone.
My arms tightened around this woman that I considered to be a walking miracle, and I forced the fear that had crept up in the gym away, because it had no place between us. As tenderly as I could manage it, I began to rock my hips, allowing my tip to stroke from her entrance, up to the bundle of nerves I knew so well. I could feel her breathing change, but she had yet to make a sound, so I decided to take this up another notch.
I used my chest to bend her at the waist just enough to make the angle right, so on my next thrust, I eased my way inside her. I forced myself to move slowly, and she let out a soft moan of pleasure as I filled her.
I waited to see if she might open her eyes or acknowledge my presence in some other way, but she remained quiet after her initial response. I moved my hand up to cup her right breast, sorry that I couldn't pull it into my mouth, but trying to emulate what I wanted to do using my fingers, instead. Her nipples were already hard and pebbled in response, letting me know she was much more awake than she was letting on.
I refused to speed up until she acknowledged what was happening, so I kept my movements slow and focused on filling her completely with every inward thrust. Each time I joined us, I felt the connection deepen, and each time I withdrew, I had to hold myself back to keep from rushing back into her to stop that feeling of loss. I'd never felt the push and pull so acutely before.
Hell, this was exactly what I had been trying to figure out in the gym. How did I let her do what she wanted, while still trying to keep her safe enough that I didn't lose my mind with the possible harm that could come to her when she was away from me? I simply had to do it. There was no letting her; it was her right. And just as I expected her to accept my past and the danger of my life without questioning it, she deserved that same level of respect from me. I had to find out what she wanted to do, and then work with her so that she could do it.
Just as I thought that, she used her bedroom voice that drove me wild and said, "Carlos…more," and then she moved her hand to mine and pushed me away from her breast, maneuvering my hand to her clit, instead. That act in and of itself was hot enough to throw off my restrained rhythm, but then she knocked down any control I might have been able to keep by raising her hand back up to the breast I had been forced to abandon and began to twist her own nipple.
I started talking to her in Spanish, knowing she couldn't hear me, but unable to stop the flow of words. I told her how hot it was to see her sharing with me the act of pleasuring her, and I urged her on by telling her exactly how it felt to be inside her as her muscles tightened around me.
She began to say my name, almost the way a religious person would chant a prayer, and I knew she was close. I shifted from the gentle stimulation with my hand and pressed down hard against her clit, causing her to scream out and clamp down around me at the same time. It had the same effect as flipping a light switch did to a bulb. My body immediately responded, and despite how much time we'd spent making love the night before, I spilled into her again, knowing I was powerless to resist the command to do so when her body gave it.
She made a series of unidentifiable sounds that I assumed meant she'd enjoyed what had just happened, and I continued to slowly thrust into her, until her muscles started to relax, trying to draw out every ounce of pleasure possible.
She lifted her head, and then let it fall back down to the pillow, where she made a noise of complaint that I found amusing. "Yuck it up, Batman," she threatened, feeling my amusement behind her. "I would have threatened to hurt you for waking me up this early, but since I'm too blissed out to care at the moment, I'll have to let it slide."
I tightened my arms around her, pulling her as close to me as possible and breathing her in once more, smiling at the thought that the smell permeating the air at the moment was exactly what had started the whole escapade this morning.
"Was there a reason you woke me up this early?" she asked.
I reluctantly loosened my hold on her so that she could turn around to face me in order for us to talk. When she rolled over and I got a eye full of her perky breasts, I wondered if this conversation could happen with her naked and so close to me. I wasn't sure I could concentrate on what she was saying with the distraction of them moving up and down so near my face with every breath she took.
I shook my head and commanded my eyes to lock with hers. This was too important to be distracted. Maybe one more look before I give up on them completely, I conceded, letting my gaze fall once more. Stephanie laughed and put her finger under my chin to raise my gaze.
"It's flattering, I admit, but I have a feeling it's not why you woke me up," she said, bringing my focus back.
"No, but that reason will still be there an hour from now, if you'd rather…" I let the question drift as my hand fell to cup her breast, rationalizing my action by telling myself this was the one I'd ignored previously because of our position, so it was really my duty to be sure it received an equal amount of attention.
Before I could lose myself any further from the silky feel of her sensitive skin under my rough fingers, she clamped a hand on top of mine, stopping my progress. "Talk first, and then we'll see about that, okay?"
When had she become the consistent strong one, leaving me to become the hormonal man unable to control himself? I moved my hand, knowing I wouldn't be able to talk intelligently if I had her breast in my palm. I finally had to back up a few inches and put it on the bed between us, because as long as I could feel her skin with my fingers, my blood wasn't being routed in a helpful way.
"What's on your mind?" she prompted after I settled down.
"I want to support you in what you want to do," I blurted out, proud that I lead by making it clear I was supporting her, not trying to force my will on her future, but at the same time, I knew my opening wasn't all that clear about what I was referring to.
She assumed her face of deep concentration, and then asked, "Is there a specific area you are thinking about, or did you just wake me up to say you were still in my corner?"
I relaxed a little at her joke and took a moment to get my head back together before speaking again. "You mentioned that you'd been thinking about going back to work for Vinnie. You didn't say if you'd reached a decision on that or not, but I wanted to let you know that if you decide you want to do that, I will help you."
Her brow furrowed, and I couldn't tell if she were confused or irritated. "How exactly are you planning on helping me?"
"It would depend on what you want, but I could arrange for some additional training for you with the guys to help tighten up some of your skills so you could make up for the lack of your hearing," I said as the idea popped into my head. I didn't think it wasn't a bad suggestion as I said it aloud.
She seemed to be considering what I was saying, so I added to it. "You could also come to work at RangeMan full time, like I've been hinting for a year now, and you could run all your skips through us, which would give you the benefit of a partner other than Lula if you wanted it." I wasn't as sure how she'd feel about that, but I knew I'd feel loads better if she'd use one of the guys to pick up her skips.
"And how would the guys react to being forced to work with me now?" she asked, truly interested, not showing any signs of being defensive.
"My guess is they'd be thrilled. They already fight for the chance to be around you, and if there could be any regularity to it, they could all have a chance, or we could talk about assigning you a permanent partner that would end the arguing over who got to work with you," I offered, seeing either option as possible.
"If I did that, would you still assign someone to shadow me for my own protection, just because you could justify it by saying I was in more danger while going after skips?" she pushed, coming up an argument I might have tried earlier. I knew it wasn't as likely to fly anymore, so I doubted I would have attempted it now.
"No," I promised her. "And I'm not pushing you to go after skips if you don't want to do it anymore. I just wanted to bring it up so you wouldn't have to figure out how I would feel about it and jump to any conclusions that weren't right."
Her eyebrows shot up, and she replied, "You mean, try to do it behind your back without telling you so that you had to find out either through the grapevine, or by accidently coming across me while I was trying to apprehend somebody."
This seemed like a trap, so I wasn't sure how to answer her. I finally decided that even though it sounded like what I'd done to her with the shadow, and since it was exactly what I feared would happen, I answered her honestly. "Yes, that's what I mean."
She touched my face softly and smiled at me. "I haven't decided what I'm going to do. I don't want to give up working for Vinnie, but I was a little worried about going out there alone, or even with Lula. As much as I like hanging out with her, I think I learned at the mall that she isn't really capable of backing me up anymore. I can't compensate both for my lack of hearing and her lack of skills."
I moved my hand to rest it on the dip of her waist, just above her hip. Her skin was so warm under my hand that it comforted me to be able to touch her and pull that warmth into me.
"I didn't bring this up to rush you into a decision of any sort. Hell, as far as I'm concerned, you never have to work again, but I know you, and I know you want to, so I needed to tell you that I wasn't going to stand in your way of whatever you want to do, I just hoped that you'd let me help you plan out some adjustments to your previous style that might help you compensate for the lack of hearing," I explained, finally feeling like my mind was getting out what I'd wanted to tell her an hour ago.
"I promise to discuss it with you when I get closer to a decision. I know I can work in the office, and I have been doing that a little more lately. Sitting at a desk has helped me to feel like I'm contributing a little more, but it also reminds me why I swore I'd never do another full time office job," she admitted with a smile.
A brief period of silence fell as we continued to touch each other, not necessarily in sexual ways, but I could never deny the heat that was always simmering anytime I was near Stephanie – especially if she wasn't wearing any clothes.
She chuckled a little and said, "We just had a totally mature conversation about my job, and no yelling was required."
I pushed her hair back to keep it from falling into her eyes. "I'm glad my master plan worked."
"What plan was that?" she asked, moving her hand from my shoulder down my chest to softly circle my nipple.
"I figured if I tired you out first, you'd be too exhausted to argue with me," I joked.
She laughed and added, "Don't forget with all the feel good endorphins coursing through my veins after that wake up call, I was too blissed out to want to argue and ruin my chance at another round before you announce you have to go downstairs."
I liked the way her mind worked. Even if that hadn't been my initial plan, I was okay with improvising, now that she'd mentioned it.
"I don't have any appointments on my calendar today, Babe," I told her in response to her challenge, moving my hand from her waist to the curve of her hip, and then back to cup her ass.
"That is good news," she replied, leaning forward to kiss my Adam's apple, letting her teeth graze down my neck to my collarbone.
I pulled back to look at her so she could read my lips. "Why is that good news?"
I saw the gleam in her eye before she spoke, and I knew I was about to get screwed – and not in a good way. "Because I got a check from my insurance company to cover the loss of my shoes and clothing, and I need to do some major shopping to get my wardrobe back where it needs to be. There's a big chunk of empty space in your closet that I intend to fill, and you can come with me, since you don't have any pressing appointments."
I couldn't stop myself from smiling, knowing that even though the mall was as far removed from a good time in my book as one could get, it would be one on one time with Stephanie, so I wouldn't turn her down. "I'll go, but only if you let me help you replace your lingerie."
"Oh, if we're going to do that, then I think we have a little work to do here first," she stated seductively, running her hand down my abs.
"What kind of work?" I asked, knowing better than to assume the best case scenario when she was being this playful.
"I think we need to be sure we're both too drained to think about sex while we're out, or we won't be able to make it through trying on the lingerie without getting thrown out before we have a chance to buy anything," she warned.
"I like the way your mind works, but I think there's a problem with your plan," I couldn't help but point out.
She gripped my now eager erection and stroked it slowly. "What's the problem?"
"The only way I can see you in lingerie and not think about sex is if I'm unconscious," I warned her, getting a smile in return.
"I love a good challenge," she teased, hooking her leg over my hip and pressing herself against me.
"I couldn't agree more," I responded, unable to keep my lips off her for another moment.
There was a time when I would have thought it was impossible that I would let a woman trick me into taking her shopping at the mall, but at the moment, I felt too good to care. This was my woman, and I knew enough now to say that I didn't care where she forced me to take her. As long as we went together, it would be just fine.