Six Broken Ponies: Offering

~BlackRoseRaven

Pinkie Pie leaned forwards over the counter, smiling softly towards where Applejack and Rainbow Dash sat in a corner together, quietly eating the fudge that she had gladly served them on the house. Mrs. Cake wouldn't mind, she knew: in fact, with Pinkie's behavior so drastically changed from the bouts of mixed moodiness-bounciness, she had been hesitant but willing to leave Pinkie in charge of the shop for a little while… although also visibly relieved when Rarity had added she would be staying to 'keep Pinkie Pie company.'

So far, though, things had been smooth: it was probably in part because she was feeling a little tired from a lack of sleep due to excitement, and probably in part because Twilight had shown up in the morning after helping out Rarity with a list of suggestions that might help even a little bit… and they included limiting Pinkie Pie's usually-exorbitant sugar intake and a few calming exercises. Very small things… but Twilight had pointed out that even the largest structures in Equestria had started with only a few small bricks.

But mostly, it was like getting it out there, that she had problems controlling herself… and more importantly, how she felt sometimes like such an outsider… had really done a world of good for her. And it wasn't so much the fact that they were treating her with a little more gentility now, it was the fact that they were trying so hard to help her… although it did help she had the feeling there was a little more slack here and there if she goofed up, however. All the same, she was doing her very best to stay on her so-far, so-good behavior… she didn't want to be one of those ponies who were given an inch and took a mile, considering how much she had done that in the past without even realizing it; or perhaps it was more accurate to say, without really meaning to.

Then Rarity nudged her gently, and she looked up from her reverie with a blush, wondering if she'd been talking out loud or something… but the unicorn only tipped her a wink, saying in a low, playful voice: "Careful now, Pinkie Pie. Stare for too long and our friend Applejack may get a little jealous again. But that Rainbow Dash is a handsome male… and there is such a sad lack of handsome, eligible bachelors around Ponyville these days."

"Oh, no, it's not that, Rarity." Pinkie Pie smiled warmly, beaming over at her. "It's how happy they look together… like the closest of friends, but even closer! And… I'm real glad to see it. Rainbow Dash really does look nice though… and not just 'cause she – I mean, he – makes a handsome guy pony, but because… well… look at him."

"Yes. I know what you mean… he has that same confidence now as those months ago after he saved my life and all the Wonderbolts, and rightfully won his place as best young flier of Equestria…" Rarity stopped, glancing over at Pinkie Pie with a soft look. "And they do indeed look happy. Applejack and Rainbow Dash have always been so close, though… is it really a surprise things should turn out so?"

Pinkie Pie smiled again at this, glancing over at Rarity thoughtfully, and Rarity tilted her head before blushing when Pinkie Pie said warmly: "You're such a kind, generous friend, you know that? Heck, even I'm almost jealous of those two, you know! Imagine… having your best friend end up being the same person you're destined to spend all time with… I mean, gosh, back on the rock farm, well…"

And as often happened when the subject came up these days, Pinkie's mane and tail drooped a bit, even though she continued to smile… but her voice lost some of its bounciness as she said quietly: "Back on the rock farm, Mom and Pop never even believed in… you know. That girls could love girls and boys could love boys. It was wrong to them… but, a lot of things were wrong to them. Even when they were smiling… especially when they were smiling."

Rarity softened as she looked at Pinkie Pie, and then she reached up and touched her shoulder, saying quietly: "Well, I'm sure they wouldn't approve of this either, as Rainbow Dash was once a girl and now a boy, for however long or short… but… perhaps they weren't right about everything, Pinkie. I know they weren't right about you."

The pink equine blushed and glanced up a bit at this, and then she smiled after a moment, nodding a little and saying softly: "Thanks, Rarity. Oh, hey, look at the time… the cookies should be just about done. I'll check the ovens in back and switch them out for the next batch of baked goods."

Rarity nodded, then she asked gently: "Would you like my help, dear? Applejack and Rainbow Dash can always let us know if anyone comes in."

"Nah, I think Applejack and Rainbow Dash are too busy watching each other right now." Pinkie Pie smiled a little after a moment, brightening a bit with this remark and even more when Rarity gave a soft laugh of agreement. "No, I'll be fine. Besides, if I need your help, I'll call on you. I know that you and all my other friends… are always there when I need you, now."

She smiled at this, nodding firmly as she gathered her confidence further, and then she turned and headed into the kitchens through the archway, feeling… balanced. Considering her usual state of ups-and-downs, it was a nice feeling… and Pinkie Pie hummed a little to herself as she carefully picked up a thick oven towel, pulling the stove open before she reached in and carefully lifted a large sheet of cookies out.

She put this quickly down on the countertop, then smiled warmly as she glanced over the batch of cookies: golden-brown, they looked – and smelled – perfectly delicious, and Pinkie Pie beamed with pride. Perhaps to most, it wasn't the biggest accomplishment… but to her, the fact she had managed to almost entirely by herself complete a full batch of cookies was a true triumph.

The equine quickly moved to slip the next large batch of cookies into the oven, and then she closed it quickly and sighed in relief as she put the oven mitt aside before smiling as she turned around and headed to the table, propping herself up and looking curiously over it. A cookbook sat open on a small reading easel, and several ingredients were already laid out… and the female tossed a thoughtful glance towards the front room before she simply shrugged a bit and smiled as she picked up a large knife and leaned down, reading: "'Carrot cake…' mm. Carrots. Well, I can do some of this…"

Pinkie Pie nodded firmly to herself: most of the ingredients were already out, but only one carrot had been sliced up into small pieces so far, so the equine grabbed another carrot of the five or so large, whole ones sitting out and began to quickly dice it up, using the knife rapidly and efficiently.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rarity glance into the doorway curiously, attracted by either the long time Pinkie was taking or the sounds of her working… but then the ivory unicorn only smiled softly before retreating, likely not even thinking Pinkie had seen her. But she had, and she appreciated both the fact that Rarity had thought to check on her, and even more that she was letting her try this simple task herself without interrupting… and Pinkie smiled to herself as she continued to chop rapidly through the carrots.

The knife gleamed, cutting down, slicing with ease through the solid orange flesh of the carrot: Pinkie moved the sparkling, polished blade with almost unnatural ease, her other hoof guiding the carrot gently forwards, and yet all the same her eyes and attention wandered back and forth… yet it was not that she was unfocused, merely checking the table for other ingredients and reading the book at the same time as she diced the carrots. Her comfort level with this part of the process was almost spooky: the ease with which she used the knife was almost unnerving, as she scraped it gently against the wooden cutting board to brush the pieces of carrot aside into one diced pile.

Halfway through her last carrot, she glanced down… and blood spurted up as she sliced through flesh, the knife making a stuttering, machine-gun like sound against the cutting board as her breath caught in her throat, staring down as crimson liquid spread in an unnatural pool over the cutting board, pieces of not orange carrot, but reddish meat sitting in front of her, and yet the knife gleamed like a polished diamond that was lit from within… and slowly, Pinkie lifted this upwards, staring at it as the red blood flowed off it like water, her eyes fixated on the gleaming metal… and inside it, not reflected but seemingly inside it, something pushed out against the steel.

Pinkie Pie's jaw worked, trembling… and then the side of the blade shattered as her head reared back, and yet she couldn't drop the knife, couldn't throw it away, as she stared into the broken pieces of mirror hidden beneath the metal… and staring up at her, she saw herself. No… not herself, but her other-self… Pinkamena. With her callous eyes rimmed with black and red, her pink mane stained almost-black and drooping, her coat not bright and colorful but bruised almost purple… and as Pinkie stared, moaning weakly in her throat, Pinkamena raised a knife of her own to her mouth and licked slowly along the blade's edge, slicing open her own tongue, sending a stream of blood rolling down it as she whispered: "I think we should have a party, Pinkie Pie. Oh yes. I think we should have a party, one I'm going to invite all your lying friends to… because I have some delightful party games in mind we can all play together, and how we'll laugh, and laugh, and laugh…"

Pinkie screamed and staggered backwards, throwing the knife away… and it clattered loudly against the kitchen floor as the female fell backwards into trembling pile, hooves skittering at the floor as she stared wildly back and forth… but the kitchen was back to normal, the knife was only a piece of metal, and a half-chopped carrot lay upon the cutting board… but a moment later, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash burst into the room, yelling for her, and Pinkie Pie dropped her head to the side and screamed again as she covered her face before she burst into loud, wild sobs.

Immediately, all three were around her, hugging her, comforting her, shushing her… and then Applejack muttered something, and Rainbow Dash was gone, Pinkie Pie barely noticing as she buried her face against Rarity's breast and sobbed weakly… but within only a few minutes, Rainbow returned with Twilight, and Pinkie's sobs renewed for a moment in both joy and sorrow as the unicorn joined the others, swiftly embracing Pinkie Pie as they clustered around her worriedly, Applejack every so often tossing nervous glances towards the knife, where it glinted maliciously on the floor.

After a few minutes, Pinkie Pie calmed… and she sat with her head lowered as Rarity began to quietly, compulsively clean up, looking a little worried herself as Rainbow Dash and Applejack stood at one side of the room. Pinkie sat in a chair as Twilight checked her over, not speaking, her mane and tail drooping, her eyes staring almost sightlessly as trembles wracked her body… but there was no rush from anyone, no hurrying her along, no cursing her as evil and no harsh words. Only comforting ones… only kindness… and the only fear in the air was that Pinkie Pie had hurt herself, as Applejack finally approached and touched her shoulder as the female's sobs died down to sniffles and Twilight paged rapidly through a medical textbook, the country pony saying quietly: "You didn't get hurt, did you?"

"No… no. I'm fine." She stopped, then laughed weakly, looking down and pushing her hooves together as she closed her eyes. "No, that's a lie. I mean… I'm not hurt physically, I don't think. But… but…"

She stopped, her lower lip trembling, tears running down her face as she hugged herself and a shudder ran through her form, and then she shook her head quickly and released a gasping sigh as Rarity tossed the rag she had been using to clean up into the sink and then carefully – standing a good distance away, her horn glowing brightly enough to show she was using a little more force than necessary – lifted the knife, and dropped this into the sink with a clatter that made the other ponies wince… but Pinkie Pie barely looked up, still staring weakly at the kitchen floor. "Sugar cube, it's okay now. We're all here for you… we ain't gonna let nothing bad happen to you, okay?"

"That's… not what I'm scared of…" Pinkie closed her eyes, reaching up and rubbing slowly at her face with her front hooves as she trembled quietly. "I saw her… I saw her, and she's… she's me… she wants… oh g-god…"

Pinkie shuddered violently, clenching her eyes shut and lowering her head, and Applejack looked worriedly over at Rainbow Dash as the male shrugged and shook his head, Rarity frowning… but then Twilight stepped forwards, gently touching Pinkie's shoulder, looking down into her eyes softly. "Okay, Pinkie. Let's start from the beginning, okay? And if it gets too hard to talk about, we can stop. Any time you want, we'll just stop, and we'll pick it up when you're ready. How does that sound?"

The pony looked up, trembling hard… and then she swallowed thickly, her tear-filled eyes gazing worriedly up at Twilight as she asked meekly: "You… you won't leave me? Even… even though…"

"No Pinkie, none of us will. You're our friend, we're all here for you." Twilight said comfortingly, and then she hugged the female quietly… and even though Pinkie's arms only clutched herself, she dropped her head against the side of her neck, shuddering and giving a faint whimper against her before the unicorn slowly drew back, studying her quietly as Pinkie hung her head, flushed with fear, shame, and worry. "Take your time. Don't rush… we're here for you. We can talk about this at your pace."

For a little while, Pinkie was mute, head lowered… and then, slowly, she began to speak, in a quiet, stumbling murmur that all the same was heard clearly by all present, as she whispered of how it had started with the blood… and ended with how Pinkamena had spoken to her with her twisted promise before she had managed to fling the knife away.

Twilight had her textbook open and was taking notes on parchment, as the others only listened, Applejack and Rainbow Dash almost pressing together and Rarity covering her muzzle with an expression of both horror and pity for the poor female… and then Twilight sighed and shook her head after a long silence, saying quietly: "With your permission, Pinkie, I'd like to write to the Princess about this. I know there's… a place or two in Canterlot that can help, from what I've been reading."

"You want to send me away?" Pinkie looked up, desperate, trembling… but when Twilight shook her head quickly, she swallowed thickly and sat back, hugging herself. "Then… then what do you mean?"

"We would go for a visit, Pinkie, to some doctors. It wouldn't be like an asylum… but they could talk to you, assess you, and we could figure out where to go from there. Qualified ponies, better at this than I am." Twilight said softly, reaching up and gently brushing Pinkie's mane back. "I'd go with you. We'd probably even be there and back to Ponyville in the same day. I doubt they'd want to keep you there for long, and they wouldn't want to lock you up, Pinkie… you have… episodes. And I know it's scary, but… I don't think you're a danger or a threat to me, or anyone here. I think the person in the most danger here is you, Pinkie Pie… and I want to help you if I can. I want to… to… to save you, if I can."

Twilight looked down at her quietly, and Pinkie Pie laughed a little at this, rubbing silently at her eyes with her wrist as she whispered: "I think that's the first time anyone's said something so nice to me, Twilight… and really, honestly meant it. But it scares me, what that could mean…"

"Well, what it's going to mean is that we're going to fix this somehow." Rainbow Dash said quietly but firmly, stepping forwards and nodding, and then he laughed a little as Pinkie quietly glanced over at him. "I mean, just… just look at me. God, Pinkie, look at me. If I can become this, even for just a little while… don't you think there's hope for you, too? I mean, I wasn't… broken… or… damaged or anything, I was just… in the wrong skin. 'Just in the wrong skin,' like it's no big deal…" He stopped, then looked over at Twilight, softening visibly even as his smile grew firmer. "But Twilight sure fixed it like it was no big deal."

Twilight only blushed and glanced awkwardly away, however… but Pinkie nodded a little, looking back and forth quietly and murmuring: "Maybe… maybe you're right, then, Rainbow. You're… you are very different now." She stopped, looking quietly over the male as Rainbow posed with a wink… then blushed deeply when Pinkie said quietly: "No more false bravado… no pretending you feel good when really, you feel pretty bad. Most of all, no more fear of being yourself… I… I really admire that."

Now the male shuffled back a bit as Applejack smiled slightly, leaning over and kissing the male's cheek and making the Pegasus both blush with a pleased look and fidget in embarrassment as the earth pony murmured: "She read you like a dang book." She stopped, then looked softly at Pinkie Pie, adding quietly: "And you can count me in on coming with you to Canterlot when it's time for that, Pinkie Pie. I can always do business while I'm there, selling some baked goods."

Rainbow sniggered at this, and Applejack gave her a glare, saying flatly: "Oh, hush up, now, y'hear? I was serious. I ain't gonna be selling those… other wares anymore."

"A good decision, Applejack. You may be uncouth and a bit of a ruffian but even I know you're… much better than that." Rarity said softly, and Applejack gave her a small smile before the unicorn glanced towards Pinkie Pie as she looked down, trembling a bit. "Pinkie, I think… what's important to remember here, is that you didn't give in. I lay no claim to understanding the workings of the mind but… you can still tell what's real and what's not, and you're still yourself. You've been wonderful to work beside all day long… why, you even did most of the baking by yourself while I tended the counter here."

Pinkie shuffled a bit at this, looking awkwardly down with a blush… and then Twilight nodded, saying quietly: "I think they're sporadic episodes. Maybe they even have triggers we don't know yet… but I know one thing, Pinkie, and it's that you gotta stay as positive as you can, okay? Listen, if you need anything, just let me know… and I guess, really, there's still plenty of room at the library. I don't think Fluttershy will mind that… w e can just make it one big sleepover party or something, and I think we'd… all keep each other out of trouble."

"A party…" Pinkie smiled a little, glancing up with a small laugh, and when Twilight winced a bit, she shook her head and said softly: "No, no, it's okay Twilight. I really do appreciate the thought… I appreciate… what you're all trying to do for me. I'm just scared that maybe… I can't be fixed. I think sometimes maybe I should go away…"

"I wouldn't want that. I don't think any of us would, no matter what happened." Twilight said quietly, reaching out and touching her gently… and Pinkie smiled a little, glancing up: naïve but lucid, depressed but struggling to find hope. "I have an idea, though. Zecora knows a lot about natural remedies and illnesses… we can go out and visit her sometime, when you're ready, and see if she has something that will help with how you've been feeling."

"You mean, to even me out?" Pinkie Pie asked quietly, tilting her head… but now Twilight smiled and shook her head slowly, making the pink pony cock her head inquisitively.

"No, Pinkie… I think we all like you to have some bounce in your step." Twilight said softly, and Pinkie blushed but smiled a little in return at this wording. "And with a gentle reminder now and then, you calm right down… I… don't want to change your eccentricities to make you more like us, Pinkie, and I don't even want to fix your flaws. They make you who you are… but maybe she can give us something to help with these episodes. Either when they start happening, or for afterwards, so you don't end up feeling so awful."

"Like all the laughter has been sucked out of me." Pinkie murmured, glancing down and shaking her head slowly as she whispered: "It's worse than when Discord tricked me. It's not… just being turned upside-down or inside-out: it's like being shoved through the looking glass, except everything on the other side is dark…"

Twilight nodded slowly, then Pinkie Pie looked up and around at them all with a small smile, saying finally: "Thank you. Thank you all for being here and helping me back on my hooves, but… I think… I think I'm going to be okay. Twilight, I'll… stop in later, maybe, but for now I think the best thing I can do is straighten up. Rarity, you don't have to stay if you don't want to…"

Rarity only smiled at this, however, saying softly: "I have a few more hours I promised to spend with you, Pinkie Pie, before I have to go back to the boutique and finish off a few dresses. I can at least be here that long."

"Then… thank you." Pinkie Pie smiled at her, before her eyes roved to Applejack and Rainbow Dash as they hesitated, and then she laughed a little and said quietly: "Go on you two. Don't let me ruin your first big day together."

That made the two blush and fumble for excuses… but then they both simply only smiled, and the two traded hugs with the slowly-recuperating pony before they made their way out through the arch… and Rarity humbly excused herself after a moment as Twilight quietly picked up her book and studied Pinkie Pie for a moment longer, but the female only closed her eyes and smiled wider, bowing her head forwards and saying softly: "I used to think I bothered you most of all, Twilight. Now I think you're the one who cares about me most of all… maybe, cares about all of us most of all, if that makes any sense."

Twilight laughed a little, and then Pinkie opened her eyes, nodding after a moment as she took a deep breath, her mane and tail fluffing up a bit as she said softly: "I'll be okay, I promise. But… do me a favor, Twilight, okay?" The unicorn glanced up at this, and Pinkie smiled… and it was a real smile, radiant and warm, as she said quietly: "Don't burn yourself out caring for all of us. Make sure you take care of yourself too, okay?"

"Okay, Pinkie. I promise." Twilight gazed quietly back, and then she traded a tight, short last hug with the female before picking up her book and notes and heading out the back door… and Pinkie smiled after her, still not altogether herself… but at the same time, feeling like she was back on track towards feeling honestly, truly happy again.