AN/ Now that we're entering the Christmas theme, I just wanted to say a huge thanks to Loki's Son who helped me with some of the differences between US and UK Christmases. You might still spot a few oddities from me but I think I couldn't help some of them :D

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter Two

Sprucing up

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Two Turtle doves.

Under a week ago the Green Lantern, John Stewart invited Shayera Hol to spend Christmas with him. After her easy agreement which John was thankful hadn't required additional persuasion from him, he had also suggested that she stay at his apartment during the holidays. Having recently reconciled there was considerable tension between the two of them; despite both of them wanting to spend every waking minute with the other...their pasts were keeping them at a distance, and it was something that John decided needed to change.

The humble studio apartment that he lived in was fairly empty at the current time; John hadn't spent a great deal of time here of late having favoured staying at the Metro Tower near Shayera instead. That was another concept that was bothering him about them, they weren't even sharing a room together, both of them automatically saying goodnight and departing as if they were awkward teenagers. If he was honest with himself he understood the difficulties, things with Mari had been difficult for him towards the end and they had always been difficult for Shayera, not only that but there were a whole host of other complications to contend with as well. John was a thoughtful man despite what some would say and he knew that knowledge of Rex and his past hurts were causing his hesitation. He also knew Shayera well enough to know that she was caught up on the things she had done, of the hurt she had caused, it made her reluctant, she didn't want to cause anymore pain unintentionally or otherwise.

With his mind swimming with his musings, John almost didn't notice the blue beam of transport energy that announced itself in the middle of his apartment. Once the energy faded, Shayera was left behind holding a duffle bag containing the belongings she had decided to bring; in the other was her mace. When she looked up at him she offered a small smile and flicked her head slightly to knock a bang out of her eyes.

"Where should I put this?" She asked, lifting the bag slightly in gesture.

John didn't hesitate to get up and quickly grasp the bag "I'll put it in the bedroom." He said being careful not to say 'my bedroom' because he wanted her to understand that they didn't have to keep hiding from each other. Besides, the thought of cuddling up to her during the chilly nights was an all too welcome scenario.

"Okay," She said slowly as she released the bag and reluctantly gave him her mace "Is there anything you want me to do?"

Turning around, John stared at her. There was a time when she would just flop down on the couch without a thought, kicking her feet up onto the coffee table and switching on the television. Now she was standing awkwardly with a straight back and tense wings, this wasn't what he wanted...he wanted her to feel at home here, like she used to.

"No," He said shaking his head "Just make yourself at home."

Shayera still didn't move but she eventually looked away from him and dubiously made her way around the sofa, even as he watched she lowered herself slowly into the seat but didn't lean back and kept her hands clasped in her lap. Like a stranger in a stranger's home who was frightened of touching anything lest they break something.

Quietly he sighed and turned back towards his bedroom dropping the duffle bag she had brought with her by his wardrobe, and placing her mace carefully on the side unit. While he stood there he unconsciously rubbed his neck while staring out of the window, maybe he was trying too hard, maybe he was pushing her too hard. In spite of those considerations John knew that he had to do something or they would never get over the past, they'd never be able to move on and they'd be stuck in this rut for who knew how long, maybe things wouldn't work out either because destined or not it certainly wasn't a guarantee. That was what he had learned, the key thing that had brought him back to her, eased his troubled mind enough to let him accept his feelings for her. Maybe there was a future where they had a son, maybe they had a past that foretold that they belonged to one another...but there was no guarantee, only they could guarantee anything by the actions and the choices they took now.

Making his mind up on something, John decided that they needed to do something together, bring something into the apartment that they could both have an input towards. He had just the thing.

"Hey, Shayera?" He called as he stepped out of the bedroom and into the living room; Shayera was still seated tensely on the sofa staring off into space.

"Mmm? What?" She questioned in reply as she tore herself out of her thoughts. Looking around she made eye contact with him as he approached her and took a seat beside her.

"Seeing as its Christmas and I haven't gotten a tree yet...I thought you might want to come along with me and help pick one."

"A tree?" She asked clearly bewildered "What do you need a tree for?"

He almost laughed at the confusion on her face "To decorate, you know...a Christmas tree."

"Oh..."

Even though the concept of decorating a tree seemed absurd to her she found herself agreeing. Having lived on Earth for close to eight years she knew about Christmas, but didn't have a very good grasp on all of the rituals and traditions that humans carried out. Most years she was in the Watchtower and the decorations up there had usually been sparse, the ones up there now she mostly ignored, but she knew of them and their apparent importance for this time of year.

"So where do we go to get this tree?"

An hour later and they found themselves wandering along a practical forest of trees, from firs to pines to spruces, all different kinds, shapes, sizes and even colour. The area of trees was so expanse that Shayera was sure they could walk for hours and not find the edges of it, but she found she didn't mind, it was nice to just be somewhere with John without having to worry about the world being in jeopardy. The man in question was walking beside her silently, his unnatural green eyes looking at all of the different trees with a look of indecision, the variety too extensive for him to pick any one tree from the vast many. While her eyes were trained on him rather than the woodland, Shayera opened her mouth to say something but quickly closed it again, there was so much she wanted to say and ask but she couldn't decide if now was a good time, if there ever could be a good time. Instead she looked away and gently held his woollen gloved hand a little tighter in her own as her other tugged her scarf higher.

"You okay?" John asked having noticed that the grip on his hand had tightened. "You're not cold are you?"

"No, I'm fine," A pause as she looked at a rather large tree and tried to gauge if it would fit in his apartment "Have you picked one yet?"

"We're supposed to be choosing one together."

Shayera looked around before pointing at one of the spruces "How about that one?"

It was what she considered a medium sized tree, just a foot taller than her and shaped like a perfect cone, but also she noted that it almost had a blue tinge to it making it stand out against the others. John looked in her gestured direction and eyed the tree thoughtfully before letting her hand go and walking over to the spruce for further investigation, their first Christmas tree together had to be perfect. While John carried out his inspection Shayera folded her arms and shifted her wings, it was just a tree, what was the big deal? She asked him as much.

"It has to be just right," He explained while doubled over and examining the base of the tree "Remember that we have to decorate it as well and it needs to be able to hold what we put on it and still look good."

Shayera merely tilted her head and absently spread her wings in order to stretch them, in doing so she contemplated him carefully. He had hardly changed. At first she thought he had, thought that she had changed him with the pain she had given him by her betrayal; she had believed that she had lost his trust amongst other things. Over the last few years apart she had seen him stiff and military like, serious and professional at all times and the playfulness she had come to realise before seemed to have been destroyed, but as she watched him now as he tried to decide if this tree was 'just right', she realised that everything she had fallen in love with was still right there.

"What do you like about this one?" John asked as he straightened up.

She let out an aggravated sigh "I don't know...I just like it."

It was then that he grinned at her broadly "Then we'll take this one, it'll make a great Christmas tree."

John rubbed his hands together as if already excited about decorating the spruce with various artefacts and trinkets that she couldn't quite see the point of.

"It's going to look great," He continued she was sure mostly to himself "You're sure you want this one?"

"Yes, John!" She exclaimed "I said I liked it." Despite her resolve she found herself laughing as he did at her outburst, but she quickly sobered as their eyes met briefly, it was enough to bring back darker thoughts to a wonderful but brief moment of ease.

"Shayera," John said her name softly and upon hearing it she wanted to curl up into a ball and hope that he couldn't see her. "I think we should talk."

Clearing her throat she asked "What about John?"

"About us...this...this awkwardness between us." When she didn't reply he continued "We're acting like strangers, Shayera...you and I both know we're far from it."

Looking up into his face she looked away again and adjusted her scarf. Soon enough she had her back to him and was focusing on the thin smattering of snow on the ground at her feet. What was she supposed to say? How could she say the things that burdened her without pushing him away all over again?

"I don't know what you want me to say..." Shayera mentioned softly while fiddling with her gloves, she never liked wearing gloves even with other people suggesting on a number of occasions that she should in order to protect her hands. Pulling one of the gloves off she looked at her palm and fingers, calluses and blisters expressed where her mace handle aggravated her skin, scars and other markings showed past injuries...she put the glove back on as John spoke behind her.

"I want you to tell me what's on your mind Shayera..."

He had gotten closer which made everything so much harder, it was easier if he was already at a distance. With him closer she would feel him move away when she said something he didn't like, she would feel the separation and she was so tired of being alone.

"I want this...so much," Her voice cracked a little as she forced the words past her burning throat and dry mouth "But I've hurt you in so many ways, I don't...deserve this, I can't hurt you again John." She paused and added softly "Not again."

John was right behind her now but not touching "Then don't," A gloved hand grasped her shoulder and turned her around, gently his woollen fingers brushed against her cold cheek reminding her of how much warmer he always seemed to be. "We've hurt each other, and...Well I don't expect us to get over it in a day." There was another pause as he took a deep breath "But I'm willing to work at this Shayera, because what we have is worth the effort."

Shayera looked up at him and into those pools of light, even though the colour was unnatural and inhuman she could see the emotion that lay behind them, his conviction in the words he had just shared with her and she knew that she was just as willing.

"I am too, John."

John nodded and gave her a smile as he moved his hands to hold her upper arms gently in a reassuring gesture "That's all I'm asking for."

Back at the apartment John finally set the tree in its stand careful to fasten everything tightly to prevent the spruce from tipping over. Shayera had helped as much as she could but she had trouble getting under the tree to help with the stand, her wings a little too large to let her fit comfortably so instead she held the tree in place for John. When he eventually reappeared from beneath the tree he was covered in tiny green needles that Shayera instinctively reached out to brush off, both of them noticing her brief hesitation before she finally committed to the action and started to pick the needles off of his jumper.

"So what are we decorating it with or do we have to buy those too?" Shayera asked as she deftly removed another needle from his shoulder while John pulled at one on his arm.

"I've got some decorations," He explained shaking off the rest of the needles before moving to the sofa and plopping down with a yawn "Some of them have been handed down from my Grandmother; those always go on the tree every year."

Shayera sat down beside him and lent back a little "Is that another tradition?" She asked sitting a little closer to him than she had been for a while.

A deep chuckle rumbled from him at her question "Yeah, yeah it is." Turning his head he yawned again and stretched "You ready to go to bed?" They'd had a quick meal on their way home so dinner wasn't necessary tonight as both were adequately fed.

Her expression must have shown her discomfort because John's expression fell. Even with the disappointment in his eyes she couldn't bring herself to go in there, to go where they had spent so many hours talking and laughing, as well as other things, a whole wealth of memories and a time in their lives they couldn't go back to. She also thought of Mari, how many times had Mari stayed at this apartment? How many changes might there be in there that proved he'd been with someone else for longer than she could bear to think about?

"Shayera...I...I can stay on the couch if you would be more comfortable."

She shook her head because that wasn't what she wanted; she wanted to sleep beside him. Many nights had been spent curled up in a tight ball, alone, fighting against nightmares and the demons of her past, trying to sleep on a pillow wet with her tears...all she had wanted for a long time was someone to hold her, to make her feel safe while she tried desperately to sleep. That someone in her mind had always been John, never Hro and never Carter. Despite that, Shayera just couldn't share that bed with him just now, not yet, so she made the only suggestion that came to mind.

"Is it okay if we sleep here?"

The light in his brown eyes suddenly returned and she smiled as he smiled at her "Sure, I'll get some pillows and blankets. Did you bring some pyjamas?"

"Yes," She said nodding "Thanks John."

And that night they both went to sleep curled up together on the sofa, wrapped up in blankets and wings.