Twelve days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter Three

Deck the Halls

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me

Three French Hens.

The apartment was quiet but to her there was a tiny edge in the atmosphere, she shouldn't be here. Carefully turning over so that the window was no longer her only view; Shayera lay face to face with John Stewart and furrowed her brow. In the slight twilight of almost dawn she could see that he was still asleep, snoring softly which almost brought a smile to her lips. Almost.

A very large part of her was terrified and even then right at that moment when she started to stretch out her fingers to touch him, she didn't know if she wanted to grab hold of him and never let go, or do what the frantic part of her mind urged and run. Run away before this fragile thing she had could be taken away from her again, just like it always was. Suddenly feeling panicky, Shayera started to try and sit up on the fairly narrow couch without disturbing her companion but her plan backfired when John softly said her name.

"Where are you going?"

Her heart stopped, lodging in her throat "I...I..."

She was sat up now, almost half way off the couch when John's hand touched her shoulder and she very nearly melted into him "Are you alright? Shayera if...if you're not ready for all of this-"

"I am John...I just," She shook her head before slightly leaning towards him, the panic subsiding "I'm fine."

John eyed her sceptically but slowly nodded "Had me worried there, I thought you were going to leave me to decorate the tree all by myself." It was a gentle way to ease the tension that had boiled up seemingly out of nowhere.

"I wouldn't do that." Shayera replied softly as she tentatively laid back down, shuffling closer to him and nestling herself against his body, enjoying the feel of the soft material of his shirt against her cheek.

As confident as her statement sounded, Shayera still couldn't shake the fear that was chewing at her stomach, what if she did something to ruin this? What if she hurt him again? What if –

"I'll have to get my Grandmother's decorations out of the cupboard," John mentioned against her hair "The lights should work but I've got some spare bulbs if we need them." He moved ever so slightly so that he could accommodate her better "Mean while," He started as he glanced at the clock on the wall "I think it's time for some coffee."

"Where am I supposed to put this?" Shayera asked as she held a string of blue tinsel out at arm's length as if it were something dangerous or repulsive.

Turning from the coil of lights John looked from her to the tinsel and back to her obviously unimpressed expression, stifling a laugh in the process.

"We'll put that on in a little while Shayera, I need to check all of the lights first."

"So..." Shayera began conversationally "Lights first, sparkly stringy stuff-"

"Tinsel."

"Tinsel next...then bobbles?"

"Yes," John agreed turning back to the lights and changing one of the blue bulbs out for a red.

Shayera watched him carefully slightly unsure what to do with herself, but started to grow increasingly more curious in the box sitting on the floor a few feet away. Absently she approached it and knelt down on the floor, tossing the tinsel away for the time being because she couldn't see the point of it. Opening the box Shayera peered inside, her eyes widening when she looked upon the contents inside. The box held a number of intricate decorations, some of them wrapped carefully in paper while others were exposed to her eyes. At first Shayera just stared at them in awe, they were beautiful.

It didn't take her very long to deduce that these were in fact John's Grandmother's decorations, passed down through years and still so carefully preserved, but then she would expect nothing less of John. Carefully she reached inside the box and removed the one thing on the surface that wasn't a decoration. A small black book rested in her hands, worn at the corners and slightly curled from obvious re-reading, the words 'Holy Bible' printed in gold leaf on the front cover. Shayera knew about religions just as much as she knew many other things about Earth, although it was something she found very difficult to understand having no faith of her own, but she knew that this little book was something very important and probably very dear to John. Still pulled by an unknown sense of interest and wonder, Shayera very gently opened the front cover finding an inscription inside.

'So you can always find your way back.'

A frown marred her features before her concentration was interrupted by something sitting down on the floor beside her.

"That belonged to my Grandma."

"I'm sorry if I..." She trailed off not sure what to say but worried that she might have done something she shouldn't have done. It was obviously a very personal artefact.

John smiled warmly at her "Its fine Shayera, I always get it out this time of year. My Grandma always said that if there should ever be a time for faith it was at Christmas."

"I still don't understand faith." Shayera whispered carefully thumbing the pages and stopping when she found an old photograph. It was a small square that barely tucked inside the pages without showing. The photo itself was discoloured but there was an elderly woman sitting with a small boy on her knee, both smiling brightly at the camera. Those same beautiful brown eyes.

John leant closer towards her so that he could see the picture over her shoulder, a smile easily finding purpose on his features.

"That was taken when I was five," He explained "I spent a lot of time with my Grandma in those days." He neglected to tell her that he practically lived with her after his parents died; spending his young years bounced between his Aunt and his Gran, but he didn't want to bring the atmosphere down, it was Christmas after all.

Shayera tilted her head to glance at him before looking back towards the photograph "You've hardly changed."

"Well except for the glasses of course." John added pointing at the large thick rimmed glasses balancing precariously on the end of his nose.

A chuckle signified Shayera's amusement before she became quiet, that almost permanent reservation that John was finding difficult to breach. An idea occurred to him so he concentrated until a green construct appeared, Shayera having seen the sudden emerald glow in her peripheral vision turned to look at him, only to end up laughing. John grinned as she continued to laugh more than he had heard in such a long time, the green glasses on his face obviously effectively breaking the manacles that had been holding down her sense of humour. It warmed him all the way to his toes to know that he could still make her laugh.

When she finally regained her bearings she looked at him fondly, just enough to make John suck in a breath from her expression, the woman he loved was still there, different somehow but there all the same. Shayera nudged him playfully in the shoulder startling his concentration and causing the ocular construct to disperse.

"You looked adorable." Shayera said, her cheeks still flush from her mirth.

"I'm glad you thought so."

"John?" She was suddenly serious again and John felt his heart sink just a little.

"Yes?"

She looked down at the bible she still held, knowing everything it signified and everything she still didn't understand about it.

"Do you have faith?"

John remembered when he returned from a deep space Lantern mission and was told of Clark, Diana's and Shayera's trip into a creature called Ichthultu's dimension. The story had been a vast tale, from attempted sacrifice to the hellish dimension itself, and finally to Grundy's death and Shayera's extermination of the self proclaimed God...and her devastation at the loss of Grundy. At the time he hadn't really understood why or even how she had managed to form a friendship with the dead man, but it was one of the instances where he had learned that there was so much more to her than what she demonstrated.

"Yes...I have faith Shayera." Perhaps not as much in what she might expect, he gave his faith to those around him, he believed in people rather than in the divine, because people needed to be believed in.

She noticeably deflated, that age old problem for her returning and forcing her to question herself "I still don't understand it...Aquaman said that you don't have to...but I still don't understand that either."

John thought for a moment before he started to speak "Do you believe in me, Shayera?"

"John, I..."

He placed a finger against her lips and looked deeply into her eyes "Do you believe in us, Shayera?" He whispered it so low she could barely hear him. Slowly John removed his finger and waited.

"I believe in you," She breathlessly confessed, always believing in him. That he could conquer any challenge with or without the ring, that he was more than a man without it, that he would always be there whether she deserved him or not, but always if she needed him.

His fingers came up to loop a red lock of hair behind her ear "And I believe in you Shayera..."

Shayera smiled warmed by his words and she brushed his back with her wing to show her appreciation. Looking around Shayera peered at the tree and the lights John had started to put up.

"Shall we continue on?"

Over an hour later and their first ever Christmas tree together was almost complete. John stood back to admire their handiwork, a mug of coffee in his hand and a string of red tinsel around his shoulders having absently put it there during their decorating. Shayera likewise admired the tree, fully converted to this odd human notion of decorating trees inside of their homes. All of the decorations that had been carefully stowed away had just as carefully been placed on the tree, decorations ranging from proud looking baubles to delicate glass icicles. With the lights bouncing and reflecting off of the tinsel and decorations, the tree looked stunning.

There was only one thing left to do.

John put his mug of coffee down on the side unit and walked over to the box, reaching in he retrieved the last paper wrapped package. Unfurling the parcel paper an intricate yet fragile looking angel was revealed, a soft golden gown with silver wings being the main features for the eyes. Without hesitation John handed the angel to Shayera, ignoring the thoughts of irony in his mind.

Shayera looked at it bewildered "There's no more room." She stated simply as if he were out of his mind, surely the tree would topple with anything else added to it?

"She goes on the top," John gestured to the tip of the tree. Every year his Grandma had the honour of putting the angel on the tree, until he was much older and she frailer. Then he would place the angel on the tree while his Grandma remained in her armchair smiling, but he could see that it was getting harder for her every year that passed.

"Shouldn't you do it?" Shayera asked looking at him questioningly, even without knowing all of the details of his childhood or of this Christmas tradition, she knew it must be significant.

"I'd like you to do it, Shayera." John replied softly "Please."

Gnawing on her lower lip Shayera moved over to the tree sizing it up, there was no way she would be able to reach; John had been decorating the higher part of the tree during their project. John watched her tip toe as she continued to gauge the height, were she outdoors she'd simply hover but there was no room for that in here and the air currents created by her wings would tip the tree over anyway.

After a minute of seeing Shayera hesitate, John realised her quandary and approached her. Arranging them so that he had his back to the tree while Shayera faced him, John bent his knees and wrapped his arms around her. One around her waist, the other below her rear and lifted her, he could have just gotten a chair for her to stand on but decided that it wouldn't have been quite as much fun. A startled sound echoed throughout the room through Shayera's surprise at the sudden action before she laughed slightly, soon grabbing his shoulder with a hand to steady herself as she reached the other towards the peak of the tree. A few moments later and the angel was securely fitted and John was lowering her back down.

"All done." Shayera said obviously pleased with herself "It looks beautiful." She added staring up at the tree in amazement.

John however didn't look at the tree, instead he saw the twinkling lights reflected in her emerald eyes, the way the light cast a shimmering glow around her, something he found beautiful. When Shayera turned from looking at the finely decorated Christmas tree she realised that John still had his arms around her, and she saw the look on his face, that look. The very same one she had seen when he saw her face for the first time, the same look of wonderment that he was looking at something so enthralling...that the something was her.

That he could still look at her that way after everything they had been through... left her just a little breathless, like almost everything he did could.

So it was no wonder that when she reached for the tinsel around his neck that she didn't hesitate to use it to pull him down to her. With the cautiousness of a first kiss they closed their eyes and carefully made contact, lips meeting and slowly reacquainting, familiarising themselves with one another. The way his lips moved over hers, the way hers did over his, the warmth and the taste, everything deliberate, everything with purpose.

Everything moving them just another step forward as they continued to find their place with one another; the worn Holy Bible that had once belonged to John's Grandmother sat on the mantle.

'So you can always find your way back.'