A/N: Well hello there…yes, I'm a terrible person, but I haven't even seen Merlin s4 past the first episode. I really, really, really, want to, but schoolwork has made my obsession time limited, and I'm afraid Merlin got pushed to the back.
Thanks to everybody who reviewed the last chapter!
Life does not change overly much. It changes in little ways. You'll walk into your chambers and find a vase of roses there, or lie down to bed and realize that a little spring of some sweet smelling herb is on your pillow.
You dress up for banquets. Uther laughs and asks if there's someone you're trying to impress. You toss your head, and tell him that you only want to make sure all the men know just what they're missing out on. You often wear your beautiful blue dress, because you know Merlin loves how you look in it.
At these banquets you smile at the general vicinity of Merlin, and he grins back, and you both know. Sometimes you'll reach out and pull him into a corner to kiss him, and Merlin will kiss back no matter how unexpected it was. It's a game, of who can pop up more suddenly.
It's a game you always win. Merlin is clumsy and bad at sneaking. But he's great at brightening your days anyway, just by smiling at you across a courtyard or whispering to you that you look beautiful when you pass by him, wearing chain mail because you're going to bash in a knight. Whenever Merlin can he watches, and cheers you on. The knights think it's only to mock them. You know it's because he's proud that you can move that way with a sword.
Whether or not Gwen knows is debatable. You know for a fact that she suspects, but you don't plan on telling her. She is still your friend, though you're too happy with Merlin to care about whether it's paining her.
The evenings are best. You sit in front of the fire in your chambers, Merlin holding you, and manipulate the flames. Merlin helps. You delight in watching him make shapes from sparks. Sometimes you'll take a meal there, and introduce Merlin to the foreign foods imported into Camelot for you and Uther's pleasure.
It's simple happiness. You have someone who understands you, who will wrap you in his arms without question when you come back from a meal with Uther where he spent the entire time talking about the merits of drowning versus burning witches. Merlin knows to just bring you to the fireside and rub your back, and let you cling to him.
But it isn't your entire life. Sometimes you'll find a note from Morgause on your windowsill and go to the forest to speak with her. You desperately want to ask about Nimueh and her history with Uther, but you're afraid.
It's on one such evening that she brings up Merlin.
"And how is that idiot who went to Camelot?" You don't think Merlin is an idiot anymore. He's oblivious and he's kind, but he can do things with magic that you'd be in awe of if they weren't accompanied by his enormous smile.
"Merlin is well." She narrows her eyes at you.
"He isn't being improper, is he?" You sigh. It's wearying sometimes, this obsession everyone has with Merlin and you being separated.
"Merlin is my friend, sister." Morgause smiles.
"Good. I've got plans for you." You stiffen.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Cenred and I are making plans to march on Camelot. You could let us into the city. When we have conquered, you could be wed to any prince on the borders, and consolidate the land at the same time." Her eyes glint. You do not think this is "Great Things Afoot In Albion" at all.
"You cannot do that!" You hiss. Morgause looks surprised. "If you go to war, the innocents of Camelot will die!"
"It's worth it." She insists.
"For heavens sake, your quarrel is with Uther alone! War is only an option when all other things are exhausted! Our father told me that." Morgause pauses.
"Father ruled a tiny kingdom with barely any political power." Morgause says, finally. You suck in your breath.
"A prosperous, peaceful, happy Kingdom." You say coldly. "I have not heard the same said about Mercia."
"But Morgana, the power we would gain!" Morgause sounds genuinely confused. You step forward and take her hand.
"Sister, power is not all there is in life." Merlin is not a King, and he is a happier person than Uther. Uther whose wife and son were both killed by magic. "If we attempt to destroy all of Camelot for vengeance against only him, we are like him."
"Like him?" She stares at you. "You speak as Merlin did to Nimueh."
"He's not entirely a fool." You tip your chin up. "Morgause, Camelot is my home. Do not bring death and destruction to it. Uther is old. We can wait for him to die."
"Then I will tell Cenred to not attack, for your sake." Morgause says quietly. Relief melts through you. Your feelings for Camelot are conflicted. Uther constantly persecutes your people, but you have seen him worry over his kingdom and know he cares for his people. Nimueh holds a sanctuary for all who hold magic, but it was she that killed his wife and brought this down on all of you.
That night when you go back to Camelot, you wish that Merlin could be in your rooms. But he's in his own chambers because he can hardly stay overnight in your rooms, that is simply beyond even your sensibilities. Your virginity is for your husband, and throwing it away before marriage is paving the road to your own downfall.
So you sleep alone in your room, and have a bad dream. Your wrists chafe and you taste blood in your mouth, and there is blood everywhere, and there are people yelling and magic roars around you, truly terrifying you for the first time in your life.
You wake up shrieking to find that you've almost burned down your rooms. If it weren't that Merlin helped you learn fire magic, you would have been unable to stop the flames from crawling up the curtain.
One evening, you are alone in your chambers with Merlin. He is leaning against the table, making you laugh with a tale of Gaius trying to tell a young boy that he wasn't going crazy just for thinking that the girl who lived next door wasn't quite repulsive. He's laughing as he tells the story, and neither of you are prepared for guards to burst into the chamber.
You both freeze. The guards grab Merlin, and Uther strides in as they take him away.
For one moment, you think that they know Merlin has magic and they're going to execute him, and you are terrified, but Uther simply looks around the room, at the unslept on bed in particular, and you realize what they think. Thank god they did not come in while you were kissing.
"My lord!" You say angrily as Uther leaves, not saying a word. "What is the meaning of this?"
"He is behaving badly. You are my ward, you should not be alone with a serving man." Uther says over his shoulder. "He'll be executed at dawn."
"No! Sire!" You rush out the doors after him, trying to keep up as he strides to the throne room. Probably to drink that goblet of wine he has with every execution. "Nothing like that was going on!"
"I do not doubt you." Uther says icily. You slam the door to the throne room shut as you follow him in. Yes, Uther is lifting the drink to his lips.
"King Uther!" You declare. "The boy was delivering a draught for my nightmares, he's Gaius's apprentice! I was grateful, and we were making conversation, that is all! You cannot execute him for running an errand!"
"He should not have been there." Uther responds flatly. By his tone, he will take no further argument. You ignore the tone.
"How can you not trust me?" You demand. You must make this about an innocent being killed and about your own morals, not the fact that Merlin is something to you. And how did they know Merlin would be in your chambers?
"It's not that, it's that he was a male, and think on your reputation, Morgana!" You shake your head, planting your feet.
"And executing him will help my reputation? I have never disagreed with your decisions before now, but this is cruelty!" Uther whips his head around to glare at you, and you try to salvage that last statement. "He is only a boy who was in the wrong place when you decided to storm my chambers."
"We had heard that he had been there before." Uther says grimly. The words feel like a punch to the gut. Who would know that?
Gwen.
But she is your friend.
"Yes, he has." You cross your arms. "Because he is Gaius's apprentice, and I have nightmares often. Gaius is an old man, therefore the boy delivers instead. I have the gall to sully myself by thanking him and on occasion asking after Gaius." You glare. "You thought it was fine to burst into my chambers with a band of guards for something so trivial?"
"It is not trivial!" Uther roars.
"He is only a serving boy!" You yell back. "By executing him, you yourself make me guilty of murder for the sake of a conversation!"
"You are of too high a status to talk with serving boys!" He snarls. You are ready to spit fire.
"I am your ward! And there is nothing wrong with talking!" Uther takes two steps away from you with his back turned, then whirls to face you.
"There would not be, were you only that." He takes a deep breath. "You are my daughter Morgana. He is far beneath you."
You stare at him. Your face has gone stark white.
"What?" You whisper. Uther steps back to you and tips your face up. You meet his eyes-those eyes which are also grey with a little bit of green-and they are not liars eyes.
"You are my daughter, Morgana Pendragon." He says. You back away from him, barely staying on your feet. You cannot be his daughter. You have a father. Your father was great and good and kind and he is dead.
"That's impossible." Uther shakes his head.
"I was in Tintagel. Gorlois had ridden out to a northern village, and she was lonely." You remember that picture of Queen Igraine, how she was similar to your mother, how your mother bequeathed to you a necklace with the Pendragon token on it. "I do not take pride in it."
"This cannot be." You cannot be a Pendragon. Uther sighs.
"It is. Records will back my presence at Tintagel when you would have been conceived." You cover your face with your hands. Uther steps close to you. "Morgana, I did not wish to impregnate Lisanor, but I could not think of a maiden who would be a better princess of Camelot."
"Then I ask clemency for the boy as your daughter." All of this is wrong. All you can think of to do is make sure that Merlin survives. You think that you will need him when this is through. "I will not have the blood of an innocent on my conscious."
"Fine." Uther says wearily. "I will pardon the boy, if it bothers you so."
"Thank you." Then you flee. Once in the privacy of your rooms you collapse, put your face in your hands and sob. There is the sound of the room opening and light footsteps run to your side.
"Morgana!" Gwen's arms come round you. You nestle into them. "What will happen to him?"
She's talking about Merlin. She doesn't know. But if Uther told you, he's probably going to declare it to the rest of the court soon, and besides Gwen is a friend. She helped you save Mordred. You owe her at least one truth.
"It's not that, Uther granted him clemency. It's…" you shudder as another wave of tears hit. "It's me, I'm not who I thought I was, I'm wrong, I'm a monster…"
"No, no, Morgana." Gwen settles down next to you, rubbing your arms. You cling to her. "You could never be a monster Morgana. You're a great lady."
"No, I'm not." You squeeze your eyes shut and still the tears leak out. "I'm his daughter."
For a second, Gwen's motions on your arms still. She's realized that the person she's comforting is the Princess of Camelot, the daughter of the cruelest, most broken man in the world instead of the greatest. Then the motion resumes.
"I don't care. I'm still your friend Morgana, and you are still a wonderful woman." Gwen says firmly. That helps. That is one good opinion inside the tide of self loathing that has been rising within you. You let Gwen help you up.
"Thank you Gwen." She smiles at you gently and helps you into bed.
"Don't worry. Things will look better in the morning, and you have gotten Merlin mercy. Remember that." She kisses your forehead. "Would you like me to stay?"
"No thank you." You don't want to know how your magic will react to this as you dream. You are almost afraid to sleep. But you are exhausted from this awful revelation, and when Gwen leaves you fall asleep almost instantly.
Your dreams are hellish. They are all of Merlin crying out in pain, Merlin being led up to the platform to be burned, Merlin in a jail cell covered in chains, Merlin lying on a bed consumed with a fever. You wake screaming, and find that half your possessions have been smashed.
That is not the only thing wrong when you awake. There is strong light coming through your window, Gwen did not wake you. Yesterday comes crashing back and you put your face in your hands.
You're the daughter of a monster. You're a Pendragon, not a daughter of Cornwall. It's like having your father die all over again. It brings the revelation that half your family would think your true self repulsive. This is terrible.
Slowly, you get to your feet. You must talk to Morgause. You must talk to someone who knows that you have magic but doesn't think you are evil.
You slowly walk to the window. It offers a great view of the courtyard, the same one where they have executions, and that is Merlin on the platform. You scream, hands going to your mouth, but someone locked the window and no one out there can hear you.
He's on his knees, shirtless, with his hands bound and his arms stretching out in front of him. There is a crowd around him, but you cannot feel that hungry aura from them. They mill around like they are shocked.
They should be. This is Merlin, and as a brawny man raises something above his head you scream again. Uther promised you clemency!
The blow falls on Merlin's back. He isn't being beheaded. He is being flogged. There is already a red weal on his back, and the brawny man who is administering the punishment whips him again.
How many times? You stand frozen with as blows rain down on Merlin. When he finally cries out in pain your paralysis is broken and you run to the door, planning to open it and descend on Uther in fury.
They are locked. You desperately pull and push, but it does not budge.
"Someone!" You scream. "Open the door!" You run for the smaller door, but it's locked as well. You kick it, and get nothing but a throbbing foot. You return to the primary door. "Please! Someone, open the door, let me out!"
You scratch at it with your nails. Merlin's cries echo up to your window, and when you rush back to see him his back is nothing but red. Still the blows continue. You return to the door and scream for someone to open, hit the door with all your power, try to use magic but you are afraid and do not know which spell to use and these are massive oak doors that are designed to hold up under battering rams. Nothing yields.
No one comes. You finally sink to the ground and each time you hear a sob from Merlin, one rips it's way from your own throat. You sit there and listen to the man you love be flogged, and the only possible option you have to make it stop is to throw yourself from the window. And what would that accomplish?
After what seems like hours, Merlin's cries stop. You go to the window and see his body being taken off the scaffold. Gaius is running to him, there are a few knights Merlin must be friends with who are carrying him. A figure in yellow looks up at your window, and then Gwen follows them into the castle.
You sit on your bed and hope no one comes in. Your face is tearstained, your hair is mussed, your hands bloody from trying to open one of those accursed doors. Aside from looking a fright, it will be clear that it was no mere serving boy they hurt. Aside from that, you don't think you could stop yourself from using magic to destroy Uther if he walked in.
He does not. Eventually Gwen does, and when she sees your face she rushes to your side. She's been crying as well. The two of you hold each other for an age, then she leans back.
"One hundred lashes." She chokes out. You moan. "I thought Uther gave him mercy."
"He was going to execute him." Gwen closes her eyes. Uther did this to teach you a lesson, you know it. He did this to tell you not to defy him, for all that you are his daughter he will not tolerate challenge. Instead of beheading Merlin, he has tortured your love like a traitor. "Is Merlin…"
A hundred lashes would kill many. Gwen shakes her head.
"He's alive. He's got a fever, and he's raving, but he lives." She dabs more tears away. You have to blink a few away yourself. "Uther will want to see you."
"Yes." You spit. "I want to speak with him."
"No!" Gwen clutches your arm. "You'll get Merlin into more trouble!" She cares for Merlin, of course she would never report your meetings. Then who did? Who could possibly know?
Aside from that, she's right. If you show further defiance, Merlin will be pushed nearer to the brink of death and still Uther will say he was merciful, that he did not kill the boy. This is your father.
"Fine." Gwen picks out your clothing. A regal purple dress, to make Uther think you understand how your rank has changed, but nothing red because red is a color for fighting and rebellion and that is the last thing you can show to Uther. You clean your face.
When the guard comes for you, you're presentable. You walk behind him to the throne room, where Uther sits with his chancellors and the lords. You curtsy to him. You try to appear cowed, though inside you scream for his blood.
"Morgana." He says warmly. Uther is not going to mention the hundred lashes. Maybe he does think he was being merciful. It is not as though this royal man has ever been lashed. Your father-no, no, King Gorlois of Cornwall-told you it was a cruel punishment, and that men often died afterwards. He believed in mercy. He kept soldiers loyal without extreme fear.
"My Lord." You say. Uther smiles at the court.
"I have brought you all here for a reason." He holds out his hand and you take it. You think that half the court believes he is going to announce that he'll soon marry you. "You all know my ward, the Lady Morgana."
Cautious sounds of agreement.
"I am here to announce that this is not so. I present to you Princess Morgana Pendragon, my daughter and the heir to the throne of Camelot!" There is a moment of utterly shocked silence. Then everyone bursts into applause. They are doubtless only applauding because Uther has the power to kill each of them, and they know it.
You smile graciously when he announces it again to the peasantry. There is more applause. A few people toss flowers at you. You try not to look like it sickens you to hear them. These are the same people who spoke not a word as Merlin was flogged.
Uther insists upon there being a banquet. Gaius is absent, caring for Merlin, so half the court gets horribly drunk. You're glad. When it is over you are able to slip away to Gaius's chambers, and no one notices.
He opens the door. You see that he has aged a year for each time the whip hit Merlin's flesh. Gaius stares at you, and you cannot read his feelings. The old man has an impressive poker face, better than Uther's. You wonder what secrets he holds.
"How is Merlin?" You ask him. Gaius sighs.
"He's still delirious. I'm trying to prevent infection." You step forward. He blocks you from his chambers. Didn't Gaius say you would always be welcome in his chambers?
"I want to see him." Every bone in your body longs for Merlin. You want to be the one who washes out these wounds, who sits vigil by his bed. So what that you are princess! Merlin is a better man than the King himself.
"I don't think that's a good idea." Gaius says softly. You peer over his shoulder. Merlin is laid out on his stomach. Sweat beads his brow. A thin white sheet is stretched over his back. "Princess Morgana."
"Gaius, please." Merlin lets out a keening noise. Gaius is clearly torn between what would happen if he shut the door in the face of the King's ward and desire to go to his patient. "He is my friend. No one knows I am here."
He grudgingly lets you in. You rush to Merlin's bed and nearly fall to your knees beside it. Gaius wipes his forehead with a damp cloth.
"Princess Morgana, look away." He instructs. "This is not for a Lady's eyes."
To your shame, you do as he says. Gaius has a talent for ordering about royalty. You blink back more tears as Merlin whimpers, and know that you cannot stay by him. During this next week, you likely will not even be able to visit him. If you breathe in his direction, Uther will know.
You go back to your chambers. On the windowsill is a note from Morgause. How did she get here? It says in her fine handwriting "Come to me."
She is in the forest. You walk to her, and say dully "You know by now."
"Most of Camelot knows." Her face is alight. "Morgana, don't you see, this is wonderful!"
Wonderful? Wonderful that your father is not who you thought he was, that half your identity as the daughter of Gorlois was snatched from you, that your memory of your mother is tainted by the knowledge that when she and Uther were young they went behind your father's back, that you are now a monster not only in the eyes of Camelot but in the eyes of your people, who despise the Pendragon line?
"How?" Is all that leaves your mouth. Morgause's eyes shine.
"Because you are heir to the throne of Camelot. You can restore magic." That is good, you suppose. You can't feel glad about it as Morgause does. Can you keep all the fiefs together, subdue the lords, or will it all descend into anarchy? You don't have strong blood in your veins. You have the blood of a monster and a weak woman.
"Oh." Morgause hugs you. You are stiff in her embrace. She has not offered the comfort you wanted.
"Sister, we will do great things. I must talk to Nimueh." Then she goes. You return to Camelot and dream of fire.
You are forced to breakfast with Uther. You grimly think that if you must be his daughter you will curry his favor while you can, and perhaps you can do some more to help the people of Camelot.
So you wear Pendragon red to the table. He smiles when he sees it. Once well into the meal, you start to lie to him.
"The King of Cornwall was a great man." Greater than you will ever be, Uther Pendragon. "And when he died, you took me in. You have been good to me. You have been like a father to me. In truth, I had begun to think of you as another father."
You look at him and tears glitter in your eyes.
"And now it turns out that I am your daughter. I'm sorry." You flutter your hand by your eyes. "I am overwhelmed. But I am not sad. It is an honor to be a daughter of this great land. Father."
It turns your stomach to call him that.
Uther gets to his feet and you two embrace. You hate the feeling of his arms around you, but it is better than the feeling of a blade to your neck. Uther will want to be near you even more now. You must guard your secret even more preciously.
All the same, his favor may be your best defense against suspicion.
As the Princess of Camelot, what really happens is that you receive a lot of gifts. Soon you've enough jewelry to wear a new piece every day and not run out for a month. Gwen is the only one who will still talk to you properly. It makes you sick to see the smile on Uther's face when he watches you.
Gwen is invaluable. Quite apart from helping you keep your sanity, she is free to visit Merlin. She tells you that he's woken. That he has no infection. That he's out of danger. That he asked after you.
It's still a surprise when Merlin shows up in your chambers one evening. You're sitting in front of a mirror studying yourself, trying to find traces of Uther Pendragon in your face, when you see him being reflected as well. You start.
"Merlin!" You whisper. He is standing there looking uncertain, not sure what his place is now that you've become the heir to the throne of Camelot. You rise from your seat, turning from the mirror.
Merlin is even paler than he was before. You step up to him and reach to touch his face, trailing your fingers down his cheek. He closes his eyes.
"I've heard you're Uther's daughter." Your eyes brighten with tears. Merlin is one of your people, one who has seen the monster that is your father, one who has already nearly died at the hands of your father. "Should I offer condolences?"
You laugh. It's a slightly broken sound, but it's a laugh. Merlin still looks unsure, but he hugs you anyway. You cling to him and know that when it comes to your feelings, this changes nothing.
"I'm so sorry." You look up at him. "Uther had said he would show leniency. I was locked in my chambers."
"It's fine. I'd be dead if not for you." Merlin smiles at you, and it's a loving smile. This changes nothing for him as well. He sits down on the edge of your bed, and you sit next to him. "It didn't hurt much."
He's trying to save you from guilt. You don't tell him that you heard the entire thing and saw much of it. Instead you tug at the corner of his shirt.
"Let me see it." Merlin hesitates. "Please, I'll never be able to stop wondering if you don't." At your gentle insistence, Merlin pulls off the shirt. You put a hand to your mouth, eyes wide.
Merlin's back is awful. It's a mess of white scars and pink lines, where flesh was flayed open and still hasn't fully healed. It's his entire back, the shoulders, the small of it, the sides, and Merlin did not have much fat on his bones to cushion the blows. You press a kiss to his shoulder.
"I am sorry." Merlin turns to you and kisses your lips. You close your eyes and revel in the feeling. When the kiss is done you take his hands. "Nothing is changed for me. I love you."
"I love you too." Merlin's smile is gentle. "I wish it didn't have to be like this."
"It doesn't." He blinks at you. You hold onto his arm. "Stay with me tonight."
"I don't want to put you in danger." You laugh.
"I'm the scion of a monster and an adulteress, I'm an enchantress who is a princess in the city of death for my kind, and I have gotten the man I love flogged when I tried to have him released! I can be in no greater danger!" Merlin wraps his arms around you to stop you before you can go into hysterics. You inhale the scent of herbs that clings to him, and desire flushes your body at the touch of his bare chest to your nightgown. "And I want you."
He tips his head and kisses you, and that night you lose your most treasured commodity to the peasant you've fallen in love with.
You wake when pale sunlight caresses your cheeks. Merlin is sprawled next to you in bed, one arm slung around your shoulders. Your head rests on his shoulder, black locks spreading over his pale chest. Merlin sleeps peacefully, and you study the way his face almost glows in the gentle light.
There is movement at the door. Gwen enters in her usual cheerful bustling fashion. You sit bolt upright, grabbing sheets to cover your naked body, and Merlin awakes, raising himself up on his forearms.
Gwen sees you and her eyes widen. She drops the vase of flowers and they hit the ground. Luckily the vase does not shatter. She whirls and moves to the door, as if to throw it open and run.
Merlin's eyes flash gold. Gwen relaxes suddenly, and his magic lowers her unconscious body to the ground. You and he stare at each other. Then you get out of bed and tug on a nightgown, hurrying to Gwen's side as soon as you are covered. Merlin scrambles into his clothing as well, and follows you. You kneel at Gwen's side.
"She's not hurt." Merlin says. He still looks guilty. "I panicked."
"You did well." You tell him. "Go, tell Gaius you were whoring or something. I'll handle Gwen." Merlin hesitates. You touch his hand. "Don't worry."
She'll keep her mouth shut for love of Merlin, if nothing else.
"I'll signal you at the luncheon. If my dress is green then we're safe. If red, you need to flee Camelot." Merlin smiles at you. Then he leans forward and kisses you. You think that you might flee Camelot with him, your fake father's will be damned.
"I'll look for you." Then he leaves out the smaller door. That's dangerous. You think that there must be some safe way for Merlin to come to you at night, that the two of you together must be able to work out a plot.
Gwen's eyes open. She stares at you with wide brown eyes, as if the alignment of her universe has shifted. You know the feeling well.
"You fainted." You lie to her, not trusting her even now with the knowledge of what you and Merlin are. Given a choice, you probably would not have told your friend that Merlin is your lover.
"I…had a dream." She stutters. You sit back and shake your head. Gwen's shoulders shake. "Oh God. Why? Why Merlin, of all people to throw yourself away for, why must it be Merlin?"
"Love." You say simply. A truer answer has never passed your lips. Gwen buries her face in her hands, and you try to wrap an arm round her shoulders. Gwen shakes it off. When she looks at you, her eyes are hot and angry.
"How could you do this?" To me. You look at her helplessly. There is nothing more selfish than love. You did not care that Gwen had feelings for Merlin, just that you could love him. It was a mistake. It's a mistake you plan to make every night it is safe.
"I couldn't help it. You would do the same." Gwen's lips twitch. She certainly would.
"I never thought it would happen. He's a servant, and you're the heir to the throne, you'll have to marry, and you will both be in such terrible danger!" Even now, she's less selfish than you are.
"Only if you speak."
"Of course I won't." You offer her your comfort again, and now Gwen leans into you. "I knew he cared for you in such a way, but the laws of Camelot…"
"Hang the laws." You say fiercely. "I love Merlin, and it is my right to choose him."
Gwen closes her eyes. She's defied the law before. You do not speak, letting her mull over her decision. If she says that she cannot tolerate this, you will plead with her to give you until dawn tomorrow, then escape with Merlin in the night.
"I'll not report you." She says finally. "But please Morgana, don't make me lie."
You embrace her. Gwen is trembling in your arms. You rise to your feet and bring her with you. When you are queen, this a maid you will deck in cloth of gold and give the pick of the princes.
When Merlin sees your green gown, he smiles blindingly. You watch him make his way to Gwen and draw her away. She does not cry, but her face as he hugs her in the shadows is near heartbreak.
Merlin isn't at your chambers. You would have thought that he would show up tonight, but the stars coat the sky and you are alone. You glide to the window and look out over Camelot, the bright lights of windows and the bobbing torches of the guards. It's a beautiful city. What a pity that it would see you die.
There is the sound of feathers. You turn your head and see a falcon with inky black wings flying to your window. You stare as it swoops down and perches on the sill in front of you, looking up at you with enormous blue eyes.
You cannot help but laugh as it hops into your room and the wingbones shift, the feathers retract, and Merlin falls on his backside in front of you. He grins as you giggle, and help him to his feet.
"Sorry I'm late, but I had to lose Gaius." You raise an eyebrow and dust off his coat.
"And how did you accomplish that?"
"I um, went into the whorehouse, and then bolted out another door when one approached me. Then…" he waves a hand. "The bird thing."
"Yes. Let's talk about the bird thing." You say, not without amusement. You've got a lover who transforms into a bird. It's rather fantastic.
"I knew I'd need a way to get into your chambers, because Uther's not going to overlook that little door forever. So I thought that you had a window and I've got magic and I've always wanted to try a transformation." He grins proudly. "It took me a few tries yesterday, but I've got it down."
"You're amazing." You tell him, and tip your head up. He takes the opportunity and kisses you, then runs his hands over your waist, where your nightgown is loose. Merlin spends that night with you as well, and there are no dreams. As you make love you can feel his magic and yours running against each other in a way you didn't appreciate last night.
It's a sensation unlike any other, and one you'd not get from any prince. Merlin's magic is strong, all encompassing, but it's gentle and wonderful and your magic rests beside it when you and Merlin doze in bed, and it soothes your restless mind into peace.
Next morning a merlin flutters from your window. You stand tall and watch it glide over Camelot, safe.
A/N: Pretty please review?