"I was just kidding. What the hell did she pass out for, Sirius?"
"Hell of a joke, Tien. One of your worst."
"I don't understand what I did wrong. Before you started dating this girl, that would have been top laugh material and you know it. Just explain to me what sort of taboo I've pushed and I'll back off."
Decima's head was pounding, but that was probably from the alcohol. It was dark. Or were her eyes closed? Voices around her…
"My loving father decided he wanted her and proceeded to rape her in a semi-public manner. Pureblood get-together. I'm sure you can imagine the type."
"Shit."
They were talking about her. That was definitely Sirius's voice. Tien? Yes, he had said her name. The other person must be her. Why were her eyes closed?
And then she remembered. Tien made some comment about having a thing for Sirius's father… something about how he could have her… and she must have fainted or blacked out from there. Passed out, that was what Tien had said. She struggled to sit up and slowly opened her eyes.
"CiCi?" Sirius's warm voice washed over her like a wave. "Baby, are you feeling okay?"
She moaned and allowed him to wrap his arms around her.
"I feel like shit. What happened?"
"What happened is I learned that the next time I use any joke that involves me sexually desiring old men, Dumbledore's my only safe option."
Sirius and Decima blinked at each other and smiled. Even when she was trying to be apologetic, there was no beating Tien Vo at humor.
"I suppose that's her way of saying she's sorry," Sirius whispered in her ear. "Tien, I'd like to be alone with my girl, now. Is that okay?"
The Vietnamese girl winked and retreated what Decima realized was Sirius's bedroom. That meant she was lying in his bed. And he was hovering over her. Even with her eyes squinted and her mind still in a whirl, Decima could see where this was headed.
"No sex, Sirius," she groaned. "I feel horrible and my mental state is a bit screwy."
"Of course," he sighed. "Is there anything I can do for you, darling?"
"Yeah," she muttered. "Can you bring in Tien? I'd like to talk to her alone."
He smiled, nodded, and left, but Decima could tell that he didn't want to leave. He was looking at her as if she would disappear on his way out the door. Still, a few moments later a rather sheepish-looking Tien Vo was sauntering back into the room.
"Sirius said you overruled his come-ons and asked for me back," she attempted to joke. "I'm flattered, really, but I don't swing that way, dear, especially for Sirius's sloppy seconds."
Had Decima been feeling better, she would have laughed at that, but she did manage a weak smile and a half-hearted chuckle.
"Anyway, what did you want to see me about?" said Tien, pulling up a chair and propping her feet up on Sirius's bed.
"What is the real reason you're not interested in Sirius and the others?" said Decima. "I swear I won't tell anyone, it will be our little secret. I just have to know."
Tien bit her lip and hesitated, looking truly afraid for the first time since Decima had met her. Then, in the smallest voice imaginable she whispered, "I've never told anybody, but I guess if anyone could understand, it would be you."
And in a story-telling voice very unlike that which Decima had become accustomed to hearing from her, Tien said, "When I was four my father died. My uncle started to stay with us for long periods of time, taking care of me so my mother could work. I first started showing signs of magic when I was about seven, when he started to touch me." Decima's eyes grew wide as she saw a single tear roll down the pretty girl's cheek. "I was scared and I didn't know what he was doing, but I could tell by the way he told me not to tell my mother that he wasn't supposed to be doing it. If people mentioned him, or if he walked into the room, things would explode. My mother lost a lot of vases and toasters for a few years. But it didn't put him off. He would find me in the closet of my room where I would hide when my mother left for work and by the time I was nine he was having his way with me twice a week, no matter how much I cried or bled. He didn't leave me alone until I got my Hogwarts letter and he realized I would be able to get back at him for it someday."
Her glistening eyes turned to Decima's face and she whispered shakily, "And someday I'm going to find him and I'm going to make him pay for every minute of pain he caused me. He disappeared only days after I got my letter and I haven't seen him since, but I've never been able to really look at a guy like most girls do. I know they're not all like my uncle, but I just can't… you know?"
Decima knew, and she nodded. Completely unexpectedly, Tien hugged Decima tightly, crying into her shoulder, sobbing like the broken girl Decima had been not so long ago. For ten minutes, they cried together. Then, Tien kissed Decima sweetly on the cheek, wiped her face, and straightened herself out.
"I'll send your man back in," Tien said in her usual jolly voice. "He probably thinks I'm turning you against him or something. Cheers."
A few minute later, Sirius came back in and slid onto the bed beside Decima, but on top of the covers.
"How's my beautiful love doing?" he slurred, clearly having consumed more alcohol in the short time she and Tien had been alone.
"I've been better," she said softly, "but I've been a whole lot worse, darling."
He kissed her softly on the cheek, just beside where Tien had kissed her moments ago and she broke down, fresh tears rolling down her face.
"Hey, hey, hey," he murmured, wiping a teardrop off her face. "What's wrong, CiCi?"
"I love you," she gasped. "I love you so much. Don't leave me, ever, please."
"Never, ever, ever," he said with a sad little smile. "What's wrong?"
"Sirius, let's run away, please," she sobbed into his chest. "Let's find a place where people let people live normal, healthy, happy lives without war and without horrible predators."
"Where do you have in mind, baby?" he sighed, running his fingers through her hair gently. "I don't think I know of such a place."
"There has to be," she moaned. "There has to be a place where people are just happy. I want to be with you forever and have so many beautiful kids that look just like you, but I don't want to raise kids in this world. It's not safe. It's not the kind of place I want beautiful kids that look just like you to grow up."
He frowned slightly, clearly not entirely sure what she was saying in her rant, but he nodded as he tried to take it all in.
"I think they'd look like you, but that's neither here nor there, I suppose. CiCi, I can't promise a better place than where we already are, but I promise you that when we have our dozens of beautiful children, they're going to have much better childhoods than either of us ever had a prayer of having. We're not going to be pureblood parents. We're going to be better than our parents."
"How?" she hissed. "It's not just purebloods, Sirius, the whole world is evil and sick and twisted. And it's all we know. How can we possibly hope to do better than our parents?"
"I'm already better than my father," he said softly. "I found someone I love to be with, instead of someone that was just a good match. I want to have kids because I want to raise and protect dozens of little girls who look just like you, not because I want an heir, or because it's what's expected of me. And I don't care what House they're in. If they were Slytherin, or even Hufflepuff, I'd love them just the same because they're yours. They're ours. I don't think my father ever thought a thing like that in his life."
Decima sighed and curled up into him, feeling rather depressed.
"In the morning," she whispered, "I expect we'll have our O.W.L. results. I don't want my O.W.L. results. I know I failed some things."
"Not that big of a deal," he muttered. "You didn't need all those classes anyway. It's not like you were planning on continuing everything into N.E.W.T. level."
"Did you fail anything?" she countered, fairly sure of the answer. After all, he was Sirius Black.
"N-no," he admitted sheepishly.
She snorted at him, ruffling his hair gently.
"Then you, dear, have no room to say what's not a big deal. I know you didn't even study. That's bad enough as it is."
Knowing he couldn't win the argument, Sirius decided to take a different approach: flattery.
"Have I ever told you how incredibly gorgeous you are, baby?" he sighed, nuzzling his nose against her neck.
"Only every time I get upset with you, darling," she laughed back.
They didn't make love, but they did kiss and hold each other fondly. They were finally at that point, Decima realized, where they didn't need to make love to be assured of their affection for each other, though Sirius most definitely preferred sex to all other forms of reassurance. The following morning, Decima woke up in Sirius's arms, her make-up smudged and her lipstick smeared across Sirius's bare chest, but he seemed content as he watched her blink to wakefulness.
"Good morning, darling," he sighed. "How are you feeling?"
She just sighed and hugged him tightly, ignoring the fact that they needed to shower, burying her face into his delicious scent. They needed some time, just the two of them, and they needed it soon.
"I don't want to push," she said delicately, "but when is your uncle's funeral?"
Sirius stiffened.
"Three days," he murmured. "Why do you want to know?"
"Do you want me to go with you?"
He pulled back a little and looked down at her thoughtfully, brushing a strand of her hair back. Then he pursed his lips firmly and shook his head.
"No, love, I don't think that would be a good idea. Uncle Alphard would have liked you, but my family will be there, and I don't want this to turn into a coffin-side brawl. I don't want you getting hurt. I'm not letting that happen again."
"Alright," she sighed. She hadn't really expected him to let her go, but she thought she ought to try. In five days, she told herself, she ought to start talking to him about buying their own place, so that they could have a bit of alone time and not have to worry about James walking in, like he had just done.
"Guys," he said, his hands comically covering his face, "put some clothes on, detach, and come down for lunch to see off our friends before Mum has a fit about us all being bad hosts."
Decima giggled at the lengths James would go to not to see them doing something naughty.
"Our clothes are already on, James," sighed Sirius. "And it's not like you haven't seen us naked before."
"Not a sight I want to repeat, thank you, Padfoot," James growled. "Anyway, get a move on, lunch is getting cold. Or, rather, colder. Oh, just get down here."
James stalked away, slamming the door shut behind him. They could hear his mother scolding him from downstairs as Sirius wrapped his arms still tighter around Decima, kissing her forehead.
"I really don't want to go to lunch," he whispered. "I just want to hold you like this all day."
"As much as I would like that," Decima said with a little laugh, "my stomach disapproves of the idea. Come on, love, we need to say good-bye to everybody."
He made many disagreeable noises, but she managed to detract herself from him, straightening out her hair quickly before hopping down the hall, Sirius tearing after her, managing to make it down the stairs before he tackled her, sheltering her body as they rolled into the foyer together, Mr. Potter stepping over them as he made his own way into the kitchen.
"Good morning, Sirius, Decima," he said jovially. "Or rather, good afternoon. I'm afraid you'll have to make an appearance now, Sirius. My wife wouldn't have it any other way. In you get."
"Yes, sir," said Sirius jokingly, helping Decima gently to her feet and leading her into the kitchen, where James, Remus, Peter, Lily, Gwen, and Tien were sitting around the table, having food piled onto their plates by Mrs. Potter, who was mutter on about how Tien looked thinner every time she came to visit.
"Good morning, Mum, everybody else," Sirius said with a wave to the room at large, sitting down beside James and pulling Decima into his lap as she was making for the seat across the table for him. Her squeak of surprise drew a few sniggers and several disapproving looks, but Mrs. Potter just greeted them by setting two plates in front of their chair and heaping piles of food onto them.
"It's afternoon, you silly boy, and I hope you both slept well. Eat up. I need help in the garden before sunset."
Sirius winced.
"Weeding or planting or what?"
"You'll see, now eat."
"I didn't know you could garden, Black," said Lily with a smirk. "Is your specialty killing the plants?"
"Actually," Sirius responded, puffing his chest out with pride, "I'm a world-class gardener, thank you very much. I happen to have gotten top marks in Herbology since first year and expect an Outstanding on my N.E.W.T."
Lily blinked, clearly surprised with this revelation. Decima thought perhaps he never showed his true brilliance in class, or perhaps Lily spent her class time focused on her own work and never noticed his. Either was entirely possible.
They said their goodbyes to their friends and then Sirius ran off to get dragonhide gloves for the garden.
"Really?" said Decima, wrinkling her nose at the bulky gloves. "Why do we need these?"
"Some of those plants aren't particularly friendly," said Sirius, slipping the gloves over her hand, "and I happen to be rather fond of your pretty little fingers. Therefore, you will wear gloves and pray you don't need them."
She snorted ironically.
"What a comfort you are. Big strong Sirius, can't even protect me from a bunch of shrubs."
His face arranged into a mildly annoyed look, but he tried to hide it.
"Anyway," he growled, more to himself than her, "just hope it's not an issue."
She followed James and Sirius out to the back garden, realizing she hadn't ever really been there. All sorts of plants they'd worked on in Herbology were present and accounted for, from benign to dangerous, and a few she'd never even seen before, ranging from beautiful and exotic to ugly and useful.
Mrs. Potter had Sirius working on a recently acquired plant from South America that she said was incredibly dangerous and remarkably rare. He looked thrilled. Decima, on the other hand, was terrified, and Mrs. Potter led her over to the honking daffodils and had her do some watering.
"Don't you worry about Sirius," she whispered to Decima conspiratorially. "He's going to be just fine. He's excellent with the plants, the more dangerous, the better. Have you talked with him about the funeral?"
"Briefly," Decima admitted. "I was trying to get a sense of when it was, but he was asking why I was asking, and all I could think to say was that I wanted to know if he wanted me to go with. He outright refused and I can't say I'm sorry."
"No, I'm not surprised," Mrs. Potter said with a knowing smile. "Don't worry, James and my husband will go along, make sure he's safe, and you and I can have a nice long chat about moving out. Everything will be just fine."
Sirius finished with his evil plant of doom (as Decima had taken to calling it) and they all went back inside, washing their hands thoroughly. Mrs. Potter made them a snack and they played a game of Gobstones while they waited for the sandwiches, Decima and Sirius against James. James lost.
Sirius was quiet that day, contemplative, thoughtful, and altogether distant from Decima. Mrs. Potter told her not to worry, as they made dinner for the men together, that the funeral would happen and things would be back to normal. Mrs. Potter claimed that it was the depth of Alphard's death hitting Sirius that was making him act so strangely, but once he came to terms with it, things would be fine again. Decima certainly hoped so.
When she crawled into bed beside him that night, Sirius kissed her forehead absently and rolled over, facing away, still lost in his brooding thoughts. Decima stared up at the ceiling, hoping Mrs. Potter was right, hoping that when the funeral was done, all this uncertainty, all this awkwardness, all this lack of sharing between them would be over and they would be able to move on to that next stage: moving in to their own place. She could hear his breathing slip into soft, easy, measured breaths and knew he had fallen asleep. Frowning slightly in her own thoughts, Decima leaned over his body, placed a careful kiss on his forehead, and allowed herself to roll back onto her side of the bed, falling into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.