Flutter By
"What. In the actual. Fuck?" Jake asked, one eye squinting, the other wide open. He was staring at what appeared to be a giant butterfly. He had seen huge moths before, around the campfires and the annoying flickering light that hung outside his front door, but this was ridiculous. And creepy, couldn't forget creepy.
It was clinging at a tree, big fuzzy feelers wiggling around. He watched as the long nose uncurled and a tongue flickered against an apple blossom, devouring the flower whole rather than just...doing whatever butterflies did. The creature trembled.
It looked like a monarch, but when the wings shifted the black shimmered, rainbow colors flickering over the wings. Jacob Black couldn't deny that it was pretty, because it was pretty. But it was also creepy. Really, really creepy.
"Are you sure they aren't putting shit in our water?" Seth asked dubiously. The betapup was crouching slowly, hands curling around a long stick. Armed with his weapon he snuck forward, poking at a heavily furred leg with the fallen branch.
The butterfly flared it's wings and scampered further up the tree. Jacob thought that the thing looked like it was glaring. A shudder ran up his spine and the almighty alpha stepped backwards, to stand behind Emmett. Emmett would kill the butterfly. He liked killing things. "Emmett," the fearless wolf leader whispered. "Kill it."
"No, don't." Leah tossed a glare at her alpha, even as her fingers tightened against Paul's shoulder - Paul, who she was hiding behind - "Do you think Carlisle could make like...a giant cage? I used to raise butterflies when I was little."
A long leg snatched the stick from Seth's hand and the betapup ran to hide behind his alpha. Emmett's chest rumbled with laughter as he peered over his shoulder at the wolves.
"Really guys? It's a butterfly. A big butterfly, granted, but still a fuckin' butterfly."
"It smells pretty." Rosalie said dreamily. "I wonder if we can eat it?"
"Butterflies don't bleed, Rose." Alice added, dancing on light feet towards the creature. She leapt into the tree, reaching out to touch a wing.
The butterfly took to the sky, before flopping down to land on a rock. Now it looked almost...amused. Jacob shuddered again.
A phased Brady crashed through the trees, paused at the scene, then went after the fluttering critter with a hearty woof. Head bent low, butt in the air, the pup waggled his tail and pawed after the butterfly as it scampered across the ground. A heavy paw slammed over the furry body of the bug, and Brady whined in worry.
Only, the butterfly wasn't squished. In fact, it looked aggitated as it tried to climb from beneath the heavy, five clawed digit laying across its back. Curiously, Brady snuffled at its butt. Or...rear end. He wasn't certain if butterflies had butts, but their bodies ended in the back so. He snuffled.
Brady found himself with a face full of human ass, and he reared backwards, yipping and yapping in surprise. He lunged for his packbrother, Collin, burying his face into the other pups neck fur, snuffling deeply in an attempt to get the smells out of his nose.
Collin draped a paw over Brady's back, nuzzling him. There, there, Brady. There, there.
The man, long and slim, sat back on his knees. He watched the wolves and vampires as he scratched at his groin, absently. "Can I help you?"
"What. In the actual. Fuck?" Jake whined, shuffling further behind Emmett. "Dude." Nudity didn't bother the wolves, and the vampires were used to it, but dude.
"Whoa." Paul said, leaning forward to peer at the naked man. He snorted. "That's gotta be useful."
"Shut up, just because you're an ugly flea bitten mongrel doesn't mean I have to be." The butterfly sniffed, standing up. His eyes landed on Leah and he flashed her a charming smile. "Hello there swee-"
"Oh no. No, no no. You don't get to hit on me, mister 'I'm so pretty, oh so pretty.'" She was trying to contain her laughter, but...well, let's just say it wasn't working. At all.
"So..." Jacob started. "How did you...uhm..."
"Was on a date with this chick, see?" He made a motion with his hands, as if outlining a very curvy woman. Complete with pelvic thrust. "And this bloodsucker walks on by, red eyes, cocky little fucker, right? And I'm all 'fuck man' and pissed? And then boom. Instant butterfly."
Brady's wolf-mouth fell open in shock.
"And then. Well, she broke up with me, that's for damn sure. But then there was a camera, and flying and fuck, so I had to leave and now I'm here. Lost a good bit of muscle mass."
"Lost?" Emmett asked.
"Hey man, I'm a macho man. The butterfly thing? It means nothing. Don't get any thoughts." He covered his groin with his hands. "No homo!" He snapped at the two phased pups.
"Look, dude." Jacob rolled his eyes, fear disapearing. "You can't stay here. We have a job to do, and you're distracting."
The butterfly grinned cheekily. "I just bought a house in Forks." One hand over his groin, the other hand waving, he disapeared into a puff of furr and...wingy-type-things, fluttering his way to the sky.
Jake's head slammed onto Emmett's shoulder and he whined. The vampire? Well, he just laughed. And laughed. And laughed.