Title: Ordinary
Author: vanillavinegar
Rating: K+ (language, creepiness)
Summary: Ed and Al visit a perfectly normal, quiet town. No, really. No, really.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist and all associated characters, settings, etc., belong to Hiromu Arakawa-san. The only profit I make from this work of fiction is my own satisfaction and, possibly, the enjoyment of others.
Author's Notes: This fic was written for prompt 105, 'turn a cliché on its head', at fma_fic_contest. In case it wasn't obvious from the summary alone, my cliché is the one where the Elrics visit a town, find something's up, defeat a bad guy, yadda yadda. Thanks to everyone for reading, and special thanks to FullmetalFan870, Ricorum Scaevola, and totaltheTERRIER for reviewing.

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"What's the name of this hole in the wall, again?" Ed grumbled, hopping off the train onto the platform.

"Insolitum, brother. And that's not a very nice thing to say – you could offend some of the locals," Al scolded.

Ed looked pointedly around the tiny station. "What locals?" The station was deserted but for the two of them. If you call twenty feet of platform, a roof, and a one-man ticket booth a station. At the other end of the platform, a conductor and engineer exited the train, arguing heatedly.

"A three hour delay? Are you insane? We're due in East by nine!" the conductor exclaimed.

The engineer stared down his nose at the shorter man. "I guess you'll be pushing it then, because we're not going anywhere until the boiler's fixed."

Ed turned away as the conductor shouted again. "I'm starved. Let's see if there're any locals running a bakery or something." Al followed, mentally sighing as Ed skidded to a halt past the ticket booth. He glanced down one side of the street, then up the other, counting. "Wha— eight buildings on the main road? Does anybody actually live here?"

"Less than fifty people in town," Al piped up helpfully. "Maybe as many more in the countryside, but the soil is too hilly for much farming and too chalky for pasture. It's not even good mining country, so the place stays small."

Ed twitched visibly at the word "small" but gave his brother a dubious glance instead of ranting. "And exactly how do you know all that?"

Even his armor's metallic echo couldn't mask Al's smugness. "Just because you always sleep on trains doesn't mean I don't do anything, brother. Sometimes I like to know about the places we're passing."

"Yeah, whatever," Ed muttered, hitching his coat farther up his shoulders as he started walking down the road. "So is there a place to eat around here?"

"Hungry, are we, young master?" said a cheerful voice right next to them, making Ed jump. Clearly not in the least put off by Ed's scowl, the man smiled brightly. "Only one place to go here if you're hungry."

"Oh, yeah? Where's that?" Ed asked, suspicions fading at the prospect of food.

"Brother," Al remonstrated softly.

"What? He offered," Ed replied indignantly.

The man chuckled. His teeth were very white. "So I did, young sir, so I did. Come," he said, putting an arm around Ed's shoulders. Ed stiffened at his touch; the man didn't notice, keeping up a steady stream of talk as he hustled them along. "I know our city probably seems like a little thing to you – you boys have the look of travelers – but size doesn't affect quality, I always say! And the Barn is the best restaurant in East, if you'll pardon my saying so – just the thing for growing boys!"

Al wilted as the man continued, teeth flashing in the sun. Al could see his brother's back seizing up at every word; he wouldn't have been surprised if steam poured out of Ed's ears. But the man's chatter was relentless, not allowing Ed an opportunity to explode, until he flung open the door of the 'Barn', an unassuming red building. As they stepped in, the man fell silent. Ed breathed in – Al wished he had ears to cover – and then Ed relaxed, his eyes widening as he took another deep breath. It must smell very good, Al thought, watching his brother's eyes glaze over.

A pretty dark-haired woman had looked up as they entered. "Welcome," she giggled as Ed zoomed over to the counter, staring past her into the kitchen. "Someone's hungry!"

"Yes, please," Ed said, still ogling the food behind her. "Uh, what's that smell?"

As his brother talked with the proprietor, Al glanced at the man who had brought them here. He hadn't moved from the door, eyes glued to the woman at the counter – or was he staring at Ed? Uneasiness stirred in Al's mind. "Um," he began. The man turned to him, grinning once more.

"Your pardon, your pardon! I'm in your way, aren't I?" he laughed. Al suddenly realized that broad smile didn't touch his eyes. The man moved aside, and Al walked to his brother's seat at the counter. The plate in front of him was already half-empty; Al looked hurriedly away, grossed out by Ed's ravenous appetite.

"And for you, young man?" the woman asked.

Do these people ever stop smiling? Al wondered. "N-no thanks, I ate on the train." The man was still staring, and now the woman was, too. Al hunched his shoulders, armor clanking. He wished that Ed would notice something, so he wouldn't feel so paranoid. These people had only invited them to a restaurant and fed them. The town probably had few visitors. As employees, of course they'd be anxious to bring in guests however they could. Right? They'd hardly shown any signs of attacking them. He was just too used to finding danger everywhere.

Right?

Ed sighed, pushing the sparkling plate away. "That was delicious." He patted his stomach.

Still standing by the door, the man leaned forward. His eyes glinted eerily. The pretty woman opened her mouth, her own eyes raven-sharp. "Thanks-for-the-meal-it-was-nice-to-meet-you-bye!" Al said rapidly, dropping too many cens on the counter and grabbing Ed's arm.

"Wha—Al—"

Al ignored his protests and the dark expression on the smiling man's face, practically dragging his brother back to the station.

"What the hell, Al?" Ed snapped as Al released him.

"Brother, I'm going to fix the boiler and we're going to leave."

"What's your problem? Can't wait for Colonel Bastard to yell at me?"

Al shifted, uncomfortable beneath his brother's bewildered gaze. "Didn't you – don't you think they were a bit… creepy?"

"Why, because they fed me?" Al looked down. Ed sighed, waving one hand dismissively. "Ah, whatever. Fine, let's fix the train. Just don't go nuts on me again, all right?"

Too relieved to be abashed, Al replied, "Okay, brother."

[insolitum oppidum: Latin for eerie town]

THE END