I don't know about you guys but I have a terrible case of the mondays. Yes I went there and quoted one of my favorite movies ever becasue I feel like my work like isn't just liek it but hey I sit in a cubicle all day, taking calls from angry people and I swear I have the same conversation at least 15 times a day, monday through friday but hey I'm glad to have an income. So now I'm done bitching and you can read on and tell me what you think. I think a few of you will be happy with how this goes (She said in a teasing manner) and if you don't too bad ( she said flatly. What the hell is wrong with her that she has to describe how her tone sounded. I think she's sleepy) Anywho. ENJOY! (I own nothing of OTH)
Chapter 11
Recall
Lucas sat at his computer. The blank screen had gone from a simple mock to that of overwhelming defeat and he knew the reason. It had been days since Brooke showed up anywhere. Four days to be exact. He tried to go after her, find her but she slipped away from him and now all he had was regret. Cold hard regret to keep him awake all four nights. 'How could things go from perfect to shit so fast' he thought. He had her, she was in his arms and in his bed and he had somehow made it back into her heart and now...nothing. He'd called Haley almost every hour to ask if she'd heard anything but was disappointed with her answer. 'At least there are no accidents' he thought this time. He was afraid something had happened to her so now he stared at his phone. He debated calling her again but was afraid of what he'd hear. His worry got the best of him and he picked up the phone and called. The phone rang once and went to voicemail.
"You've reach Brooke, leave a message"
"Brooke….I know I don't deserve to know but please just call..text..let me know you're okay. You don't even have to call me, call Haley or Nathan or….my mom , just call."
He hung up the line feeling more defeated than ever. He missed her. Not just the 'I miss the way she smiled' or 'the sound of her voice but he missed her'. His heart ached for her but he knew there was no way she'd let him get close now. He glanced from the phone to his laptop and decided he was going to have to get out of there or he'd go crazy.
Brooke Davis could honestly say that she had a lot of her memory back now. She remembered her nonexistent relationship with her parents, just how much of an ass Dan was, the day Keith died and even Lily now. The memories had been coming to her in her dreams since she had been sleeping most of her days. She woke up to a vibrating cell phone that Lucas had gotten her right after she came back and there were at least 30 messages and texts from Haley alone. She had lost count with Lucas' or Nathan's. She sat up in her bed and began what had become her daily routine and started going over that night, over and over and over again. Not the vial abusive act that Lucas committed or the disgusting adultery he committed days before, no that she could remember perfectly but it was what happened after that seemed to be missing something. She poured over every piece of information she could find, went over all the police reports and nothing seem to click.
"I ran, got in the car, drove off, crossing the b…ridge…guardrail….water."
She had been going over it for days and still knew something was wrong. She had been pacing and repeating the sequence of events hoping that whatever it was her brain was trying to push out would come to her.
"No, no, no, no, no. I ran, I ran to the car, I drove like a bat out of hell out of there, I was crying, crying and driving, and…and I get to the bridge and…FUCK!"
She paused in her pacing only to realize she hadn't eaten anything in two days from the loud rumble her stomach made. She was afraid the moment she went out someone from the mickey mouse gang would spot her. It was time she stopped hiding and stopped being a pathetic simpering wuss. If Brooke Davis was who they wanted, that's exactly who they were going to get. She walked out of that hotel room with the knowledge of whatever happened from then on that was on them. She made it to the diner and walked right in without a moment's pause.
"Brooke!"
Lily hopped off her seat and ran to Brooke full speed. Karen's attention was draw to her baby girl embracing her surrogate daughter.
"Hey Lily pad! You look so big!"
Karen was shocked to say the least that Brooke remembered Lily, let alone her use of an old nickname. The last time she had seen her, the memories weren't all the way back.
"Where have you been Brookie? Mom said you went to heaven with daddy."
The mention of the angel named Keith falling from that little girls lips made her knees weak. She bent down to Lily and caught sight of a slightly emotional Karen looking on.
"Oh Lily. I'm sorry I went away but I'm back now and I promise I won't leave you again."
"Did you see my daddy?"
"Uh, no Lily but I'm sure since your daddy is such a special person he's pretty busy up there making sure everyone has a smile, just like he did down here."
The explanation was good enough for the little girl who simply leaned in and hugged Brooke around her neck. Brooke couldn't help but smile.
"I really missed you Brookie, just like Lucas."
The mere mention of his name made her smile drop, Karen noticed.
"Lily baby why don't you go in the back and grab your backpack so I can take you home."
"I'm on it mama."
Karen made her way around the counter and approached a leery Brooke.
"Brooke honey what's wrong?"
"I think a better question would be what isn't wrong."
Karen gave a sad and sympathetic look to the girl and hoped she would feel comfortable enough to talk to her, to open up. The one thing Karen wanted most was to make sure Brooke was okay, it's what Keith would've wanted whether she and Lucas were together or not. Something told her this was one of those moments when it was not.
"Why don't you come back to the house and we'll talk...or not, I'm sure Lily would love to spend some time with you."
"I'd love to Karen but-"
"No buts Brooke, you are coming home with me and that's that."
Karen lovingly gripped her shoulder and spun her around to exit while calling for Lily to hurry up. Lily made sure to say goodbye to the cook and the waitresses before skipping over to the pair of smiling brunettes that thought she was adorable. Once back at casa Roe-Scott Brooke walked in and felt that vice grip on her heart. How the hell was she supposed to be able to get through all this. She wished Jake would call back. She had left dozens of messages on his phone, even a few of her sobbing uncontrollably but nothing. She wanted to make up some excuse to leave but the minute they walked in the door Lily was attached to her leg.
"Are you hungry baby? Brooke?"
"Yes" Both girls answered in unison.
Lily lifted her arms to be picked up and Brooke laughed.
"Lily Pad you are almost getting to big to do this."
Lily simply pouted. Brooke had taught her well.
"I said almost...come here."
She bent down to pick her up and headed to the kitchen as Lily leaned her head on Brooke's shoulder. As she was entering the kitchen she heard a door slam shut and yelling from the front.
"Ma you here!"
Brooke knew there was no way to bolt with a kid practically attached to her and Karen saw her looking at the exit out the kitchen and subtly walked over to Brooke to block her way. Brooke shot her a 'please don't make me' look and Karen just shot a look back of 'sorry honey'.
"We're in here."
The moment Lucas heard 'we' he quickly walked to the kitchen and was happy and relieved to see Brooke holding his sister. At least that meant she wouldn't yell in front of Lily.
"Brooke baby-"
"Lucas not now."
Karen took the opportunity to change the subject.
"So Lucas how is the book coming?"
His eyes never left Brooke who by now was backing away and looking at Lily.
"I uh...it's not really. I lost my inspiration."
"Maybe you should call Peyton."
The quick comment Brooke made was enough to make the whole room uncomfortable. Lucas wanted to beg for a moment to talk to her but he knew his mother wouldn't let him.
"Karen I actually am not hungry anymore. I'll just see you later."
"No Brookie you can't go."
"I'm sorry Lily pad but I need to leave just for a while but I promise I'll come back."
"But I don't want you to go."
"Brooke don't go. I'll...I'll go."
Karen looked between her son and Brooke and knew now that something bad enough to make her want to run and decided to bite her tongue and let her son go.
"No. There is no reason to try and play martyr. I'll go. Karen thanks again but I'll just see you and Lily later."
She quickly sat a sad Lily back on her feet and placed a kiss on her forehead before she walked out. Lucas stood there and watched her go and his eyes drifted to his mother.
"Lucas go after her."
"Mom-"
"No. You go after her and fix whatever it is you did before you lose her again."
Lucas thought it over before walking to the door and exiting calling after Brooke. She cursed herself for not having a car right about now as she heard Lucas' voice getting closer and closer. She tried to speed her pace and keep the tears that were welling up from falling but they had other idea.
"Brooke wait up. PLEASE!"
She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face him. Her expression was stone cold and void of the love he had seen. She looked like the Brooke that hated him only worse.
"What is it you have to say Lucas? Any words of endearment to make me want to forgive you? Any more declarations of pointless love that are total bullshit!"
"It wasn't bullshit Brooke I love you."
"No you don't. Because if you did you never...ever would have done to me what you did."
"I was angry and hurt that you-"
"I slept with someone, you practically strangled me to death!" She said slamming her fists into his chest. "You don't know it but I looked totally fucked up when Jake found me and not from just the accident. I had..." Her eyes shot up to the sky in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. She had trouble getting the words out because she remembers what she looked like when she first woke up. She looked like a battered wife. She remembered being so sore around her neck and her face. She had a black eye, a busted lip, a horrible blue and purple mark on the side of her face and a few cracked ribs. She was now sure the neck marks were his doing. Her eyes dropped back down to his. She needed to see them for his answer "Tell me something Lucas. If Nathan hadn't come and found you and pulled you off of me...would you have even stopped?"
He made a move towards her and stepped back quickly to keep the distance.
"Baby I...I don't know what came over me that night but I need you to believe that I would never hurt you like that again."
"Oh I know you won't because I won't give you a chance but you still didn't answer my question."
"I would have. I know I would have."
"Well I'm glad you have that much faith in yourself, because that makes one of us."
She turned to leave and once again Lucas decided to let her be for the moment. He walked back to his mom's house and was greeted by a sympathetic smile.
"At least you tried my boy."
"I did but...I'm not so sure she'll ever forgive me."
"Lucas what did you do? Did you sl-"
"No mom I didn't sleep with anyone again, but trust me it's bad."
"Well the only thing you can do is keep trying Lucas. If you love her you can't let her go."
Lucas smiled at his mother knowing she was right. As much as he loved Brooke, he couldn't go back to a life without her.
Brooke was back in her room again and pissed. Not only was she starving, had to deal with Lucas but she still couldn't remember what it was that was missing from that night. She decided to reach out to the only person who could help. She picked up the phone and dialed and made sure to not let her have any control over the conversation.
"Hello?"
"It's Brooke, I need to talk to you."
"Tigger, where have you been we've all be so worried about you."
"Worry about yourself Haley."
"Don't be like this."
"How else am I supposed to be when you knew what that son of a bitch did to me and you let him sink his claws back into me!"
"I thought we were doing the right thing."
"FOR WHO HALEY!"
"For all of us. Brooke he loves you and if you could just-"
"I didn't call you for this Haley."
"Then why did you?"
"I need to talk about that night."
"Okay…um...well-"
"Not over the phone. I'm staying at Hargrove motel, room 123, when can you get here?"
"I can leave now, Nathan has Jamie."
"Okay, see ya soon."
Brooke disconnected the line quickly and tossed the phone on the bed next to her before she laid back with her legs dangling from the side. She looked up at the ceiling and tried to turn her brain off. She thought if she could do some sort of a reboot on her brain maybe she'd get all her memories back. One thing she knew was that as long as she lived she'd figure this out.
It took Haley all of fifteen minutes to get dressed, get to the motel but she sat outside looking at the doors. She remembered the last time she came there. It was right after Brooke's "funeral". She had called Chris and told him to meet her there just like they use to do when he was in town and they needed to get some things together to record.
Flashback
"Haley what's going on?"
Chris sounded genuinely concerned. Perhaps it was that tone that made her think that he cared. She threw her tied body onto him and allowed his arms to embrace her. Her small frame trembled from the realization that everything she once knew to be true; loving Nathan, Brooke being alive, her friendship being solid, all these things were now like ashes scattered to the winds. Chris spent the majority of the night consoling her. One kiss was all it took to destroy any hope of getting her marriage back without scars. That night she made the decision to let go of the fairytale that was Naley.
End Flashback
Her fingers tapped the steering wheel as she got up her courage to get out the car. She closed her eyes and was startled by a loud pound on her window. Her eyes flew to the sound and saw there was a less than happy Brooke waiting and motioning for her to roll down her window. She obliged and braced herself for the venomous words she knew Brooke would have for her.
"Brooke."
"Haley."
"What am I doing here?"
"I need you to take me somewhere so we can talk."
"Where?"
"The bridge."
Haley looked at her and saw the seriousness. No matter how bad of an idea she thought it was, she bit the inside of her lip and motioned for Brooke to get in. They drove straight there in silence. Haley so wanted to ask her friend to leave these horrible memories in the past but she knew it was pointless.
"Park over there" Brooke instructed. Haley pulled the SUV to the side of the road, just before the start of the bridge and cut the engine. They sat again in silence, Brooke watching the bridge and Haley watching her. Haley again wanted to talk her out of this but just as she reached for Brooke's shoulder Brooke moved to open the door and got out and stood in front of the car, looking at the road that had been her own personal highway to hell. Haley got out and closed her door as well and went to stand in front of the car with Brooke. Something felt off, and now Haley had that same feeling.
"What do you remember about that night?"
Haley paused, not sure if she meant the whole night or not.
"I..I had just dropped Jamie off with Karen and went to Lucas' to talk to him about you and when I got there you almost knocked me over running out the door. It was dark so I didn't see...anyway I went in and it looked like Nathan was about to kill Lucas."
Brooke scoffed.
"And then?"
"Then he told me to go after you. I got in the car and headed down the road. I was sure you'd go over the bridge to get back to your place. When I got to the bridge I saw your car halfway past the guardrail and disappearing over the side."
Haley hated the feeling she got from talking about that night. It had given her nightmares.
"Go through it again."
"Brooke what is it you want me to say, that Lucas cut your brakes or something."
"I don't know Haley but I do know there is something missing. Go through it again."
Haley looked over at her friend who was still staring intently at the spot where her car went over. Haley followed her gaze and closed her eyes. She remembers 'hey man nice shot by filter' coming on when she cranked her car, it was about halfway through the song. The rain was practically reappearing the moment the wiper blades scraped across the windshield. She could almost feel the dampness on her skin and the wetness of her clothes from the down pour. There were a pair of head lights ahead...or were there two? No there couldn't have been two. If someone was behind her they would've stopped. Or would they?
"Oh my god."
"What is it Haley, tell me."
"There was another car on the road. I remember a set of lights disappearing around the bend down there. It was dark but I'm sure of it. Is that what you meant?"
Brooke tried to close her eyes now and play back the night with Haley's new information. She went over it again. 'I ran, got in the car, drove off, crossing the bridge...she was right there was another car. She remembered a set of headlights popping up behind her almost blinding her and then a jolt when the car bumped her. Her car started to fishtail and then the guardrail. Her eyes popped open and Haley knew whatever it was she didn't know before she knew now.
"Brooke what is it?"
She was fuming. Someone had purposely run her off the damn road that night.
"Son of a ….Someone ran me off this bridge Haley. I didn't just lose control like the report said. Someone intentionally ran me off the damn road!"
Brooke's eyes were ablaze with anger and fury. Who would do such a thing Haley thought.
"Who?"
Right then Neither of them knew the answer but Brooke still had the key piece she neglected to speak on. She remembered the lights but also something red dangling from the rearview mirror of the car.
Across town Peyton pulled up to her loft and got out feeling heavy hearted. Where had it all gone wrong? How could she have become this unloved person? How had she lived with what she had done to Brooke. Her hands brushed the pair of red fuzzy dice Brooke had gotten her the day she bought the comet. Her hand dropped to her lap but her eyes stayed glued to the dice. Once upon a time they use to be a symbol of friendship, now they were just a clue to just how far Peyton had gone. Her jealousy of Brooke's happy life had taken over and whatever love she had went in the trash. Peyton had lived with the thought she was the reason her once best friend was dead but now, that wasn't the case. Now Brooke was back and alive. How long before she remembered how she ended up in that river? Peyton didn't know how much time she had left but she knew one thing for sure. The second Brooke remembered...she'd be out for her blood.
Peyton had been many things but addict had eluded her. Well if she hadn't been before she like an addict now, she had to have all of him and would do anything he wanted her to do to get it. She begged for him and she didn't even care that he allowed Brooke's name to spill from his lips, that made it all the more sweeter. When the deed was done and she lay in his bed, tangled in his sheets and coverd in his sweat she smiled. 'He's mine now' she thought as she watched him crawl out of bed and begin to dress. The door swung open and there standing in the doorway was one of only two people who could ruin this for her. Haley Fucking Scott. Of course she didn't understand the attraction between Lucas and she, it wasn't meant for anyone but them to understand the absolute animalistic passion they had just shared. The tension in the room was thick but she didn't care, she had gotten her man now. Lucas shuffled Haley out of the room all the while she was screaming 'HOW COULD YOU!' How could she, pretty easily it seemed. The glow from great sex was still on her when she exited Lucas' bedroom now dressed in the clothes he had not but a few moments prior ripped off. Haley was sitting in his living room looking like the judgmental bitch she was and looked her nose down on her. What shocked her was that the lust that had been there was no longer in Lucas' eyes. She now saw the guilt that should've been etched on her face. Right then she decided she was going to have Lucas, one way or the other. She walked out of her so called best friend's house that she shared with the man that she claimed to love and all Peyton could think of is how just this once things went her way.
Peyton stirred on her couch after reliving a dream that had plagued her for some time now. She clutched at her chest and tried to calm her breathing and being thankful it was just a dream. It just killed her to know that during the interim of not being on her meds back then that she managed to almost murder someone and destroy everyone's lives in the process. She looked over at her side table and saw the picture she had forced herself to look at every day since the accident. It was a picture of her and Brooke. They were smiling, they were happy but damned if they weren't as far from that now as possible. She turned to let her feet fall to the ground. She shook her head to try and shake free all of her demons but they seem to allow grow. The harder she tried to press her eyes shut the more vivid the picture became. All she could see was the planning she had done to make sure she could get Lucas alone at a time she knew Brooke would walk in on them. She remembers the call to Brooke telling her something was up with Lucas and that she better get home. She remembers walking in to his house and stripping down to nothing and seeing his eyes darken with that familiar lust and then...she remembers the moment when she managed to pry her eyes open and turn to see a heartbroken Brooke standing in her own doorway watching her boyfriend fuck another woman in their bed. That moment was golden. She remembers when Brooke bolted. Peyton stood upstairs smiling and dressing as she heard the muffled endings of a six year relationship coming to a fiery end. When she heard the door slam and the screeching of tires outside she walked out still smiling. Lucas wouldn't even look at her. She kneeled down in front of his crumpled figure by the door. He had been begging on his knees no doubt for forgiveness and Brooke had left him there. Peyton made a move to touch his shoulder lovingly when he jerked away and stood up abruptly and walked back to his bedroom upstairs. She knew he would need a moment so she left, but she'd be back. The thoughts of Lucas she had prior were starting to take over again and today…today was the first day in a long time she decided to stop her meds again. Whenever she took them it just made her past tramsgressions that more horrible. The guilt was eating her alive. She'd make sure things didn't get out of control this time. This time would be different.
Haley had driven Brooke back to the motel and they were now just sitting in the parking lot.
"Haley I need you to keep this to yourself."
"Brooke the police need to kno-"
"No, no one needs to know. Just like they don't need to know I'm leaving."
"Brooke don't do this to us. To Jamie."
"I can't be here anymore Haley. Not after what he did to me...he promised."
Haley heard the break in Brooke's voice as she remembered the same promise to never hit her or hurt her again. Haley had decided that no matter what, even if Lucas had screwed up his chances she wasn't going to let Brooke go that easy.
"Brooke...you can't just leave like this. I understand you're anrgy-"
"Angry! No not anrgy, I am waaaayyyy past being just angry at this point. I...I don't even know how to look myself in the mirror right now Haley! How could you and Nathan let me get close to him like that again? I slept with him dammit!"
Haley could only look at her best friend who was once again torn to pieces because she thought it was best to leave the shit in the past.
"I told him I loved him. Haley how could he do that to me?"
Brooke was now speaking between sobs. Her shoulders shaking with grief over a lost love she didn't want to let go of. In the past few months Brooke had fallen for Lucas hard but now all she had were the images of him fucking Peyton or him strangling her in the front of her mind. She wanted to forgive him, after all it had been over a year but to her it still stung like it happened yesterday.
"I want to hate him Haley. I want to hate him so much but there is just so much...love that's still there."
"Do you think you could ever forgive him...do you see you two-"
"That'll never happen. Too much has gone down and...and I don't ever want to see him again."
With that Brooke got out the car ignoring Haley's calls of her name and she made it into her motel room just in time so Haley wouldn't see her fully break down. Brooke cried for hours that night, praying that at some point it wouldn't hurt so much later.
Lucas stood on her doorstep and immediately felt like he was making a huge mistake. He knocked a few times and then heard the shuffle of feet dragging to the door. Once open Peyton felt like her eyes had been deceiving her.
"Lucas...what are you...what are you doing here?"
She did her best to hide the happiness in her voice. True they hadn't really seen each other in a while but she was so glad to see him then.
"I needed to talk to you."
"Uh oh, that didn't sound good, had Brooke remembered something she thought. She stepped aside to let Lucas in and closed the door. She followed him to her den and smiled as he looked around at her art. All around there were pictures of him, them together, symbolic items like the bed they shared or pictures of two lovers clawing at each other. There weren't an alarming amount of pictures or anything to raise a red flag or anything but still in the back of his mind he knew something wasn't right.
"How you been?"
"Brooke and I aren't together...if that'd what you're asking."
"I wasn't...I just wondered why you were here. I guess that answers the question."
Lucas turned to face her with a puzzled look.
"You know, whenever Brooke doesn't want you or you can't have her, somehow you find your way back to me."
She crossed the floor to embrace him. She inhaled his scent and remembered the frantic thrusts of a night too long ago.
"Peyt...look that's not why I came" he said trying to detangle himself from her grasp. She looked almost hurt by his rejection.
"Then why did you come!"
"Calm down. I just wanted to give you a heads up that Brooke remembers."
She felt a heavy stone drop in her gut.
"Remembers what?"
"Us, sleeping together."
"Oh."
"Look I never apologized to you for using you. It was wrong."
"No Luke it wasn't, it felt right to me."
"I didn't love you Peyton, not like I love her."
"But you could. You just said you two weren't together, she's alive now so you don't have to feel guilty. If you wanted to you could have me right now."
She tried once again to embrace him and he grabbed her wrists to stop her, a little annoyed that she didn't get the hint the first time.
"But I don't want you Peyton. Weren't you the one telling me how sorry you were when we had sex a few months ago?"
"Lucas, I...I can't help the way I feel."
"Well let me put it to you this way. I DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU." He put emphasis on the whole statement and watched as she teared up. She wanted him, she wanted him to want her back.
"I'm gonna go but like I said I just came to warn you just in case Brooke showed up."
"Like you care."
"I do care Peyton, about Brooke. What I did, what we did, wasn't right."
"It was love."
Lucas looked at her like she had two heads. He didn't remember her being like this when they were messing around. He guesses some are just good at hiding their crazy. He backed out and left making sure to make a mental note to warn Haley and Brooke to stay away from Peyton. When he made it back to his house he had a voicemail.
"Lucas...it's me...I need to talk to you...I'm staying at the Hargrove motel just in town. Room 123."
Lucas didn't know if he should be happy about the fact Brooke called or worried. After all she was hurting and he knew from experience that when she was hurting she knew how to hurt him. His initial thought was that maybe she slept with Nathan again? Nah, Nathan wouldn't do that. Maybe this Jake guy came back and she was leaving with him? Maybe. Only one way to find out he thought as he turned back around and drove his car in to town. He got to the motel and got out walking slowly to the room, hoping she hadn't set him up to walk in on her and some guy. He stood in front of room 123 and knocked. The door swung open and Lucas instantly had to fight the urge to take her in his arms and beg for forgiveness. She looked so broken and vulnerable. She wore a green sundress that stopped above her knees. The color did wonders to bring out the color in her eyes. She bit her bottom lip and looked him in the eye and stepped aside to let him in. He waltzed in and surveyed the room for any signs of an emotional trap but there were none. She motioned for him to sit in the chair as she took a seat on the bed. He waited with bated breath for her to speak, he wanted her to say anything to show she still cared even if it was to scream at him.
"I wanted...I wanted to give you a chance to tell your side of the story."
"Brooke you know the story and I hope you know that after everything I hate myself for what I did. I love you."
He looked almost pained to stay away from her but he did and she noticed. She looked down to the floor to ask the next question.
"I want to know why you slept with her? Was I not enough for you?"
Her words weren't spoken in anger, rather pain of hearing the truth. For so long she had loved Lucas that she didn't want to know if she had lacked in their relationship and caused all of this.
"It wasn't you, it was never you baby. I was a stupid asshole with a hero complex and when my girl didn't need me anymore I started to feel like I wasn't worthy of your love anymore."
"Did I make you feel that way?"
"No. No Brooke I did this not you. You were perfect. You wanted to be my wife and have a family with me. You wanted to have my baby and give me a life I never had and I was just so fucking stupid and selfish to realize that I had a girl who would do anything for me. Yeah we had our problems but I never want you to think that you weren't enough. I was the one that wasn't enough. But Brooke I'm not that guy anymore.." he said as he eased to the ground and kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his and gazed into her eyes, hoping she wouldn't push him away,"...I'm not. I am finally the kind of guy that you could love again Brooke. Remember how we use to be, before Keith died, before the baby stuff and before-"
"You cheated on me? Lucas. I'm not going to sit here and act like I don't care about you because I do. I meant it when I said I loved you but...I don't know that I can get past this Lucas. You slept with her, in our bed if I remember correctly and you almost strangled me and-"
"God Brooke I am so sorry" he was tearing up at the thought of hurting her. He remembered the fear in her eyes and every night he wished he could take it back.
"I know you are."
She tried to pull her hands from his but he didn't let go. Instead he pushed up on his knees and softly brushed his lips on hers. She didn't pull away or reciprocate. He wouldn't accept this so he let his hands begin a blazing hot trail up her legs to under her dress. She pulled away from him slightly at the feeling of his hands running up her thighs. He stopped mid-thigh and massaged them. His eyes never opened, instead he leaned in and let his lips graze her neck and his grip on her thighs tightened and slowly he inched higher as he spoke.
"I know I don't deserve you Pretty Girl. Let me show you how much I love you..." he said brushing his lips teasingly against her ear, "Be with me and just forget everything else."
She wanted to. She really wanted to. Her mind and heart were locked in a proverbial battle or whether to give in or push him away and so far neither side was winning so he continued. He could feel her defenses falling.
"God Pretty Girl I love you so much. I can't go on anymore not touching you."
Her eyes rolled into the back of her head at his intoxicating words and she could feel his hands still rising slowly up her thigh to an ache between her legs that was growing with every word.
"Just tell me you love me, we'll deal with everything else later. All I want, no all I need is to know you still love me."
She managed to steady her breath long enough to answer but by the look on her face he might not want to know, so instead his hands moved the rest of the way up her legs to her panties. He gripped them on either side and was about to rip them down when her hands landed on her hips covering his and stopping him from removing them. His eyes locked onto hers' and watched as her chest heaved from the accelerated heart from her lust. She went to open her lips but her words were locked in a kiss as he once again kissed her. His tongue massaging hers' into submission.
"Let me make love to you baby...please...I need to feel you."
And the very second he felt her grip on his hands loosen he slid the panties down her legs and tossed them aside. Their eyes were still locked in a passionate gaze when he rose up from the floor, her eyes followed him all the way up. The gaze didn't break till he moved to lift his shirt over his head and toss it absent mindedly returning his eyes to his beloved. He bent down to kiss her and pushed her back slowly so she'd lay on the bed with her legs still dangling off. His lips were so soft and inviting and his kiss was so loving that Brooke's mind was melting. All she could focus on were his whispers of loving her and needing her and wanting her to be his forever if she wanted and then it was right there. The choice. His hands were roaming her curves and creeping lower and lower and she knew the time to push away was now or never. Just as she was about to she felt his finger sink into her most private area. She couldn't help the moan that escaped past her lips but as he slowly moved his fingers the less she started to care. His tongue was trailing light circles on her neck as his hands did work on her nether region and she allowed a few words of love slip past her lips to encourage him to go further. She soon felt the hot tears on her neck and knew this was wrong. To him this was her giving in so they could be together but to her it was closure. She needed this one last time, to know what it felt like to be loved by Lucas Scott before she let go forever. She could feel his lips press on the material of her dress on their path down and her back arched as his fingers picked up speed the closer he got to her aching center. Soon he removed his fingers and replaced them with his mouth. He put her legs over his shoulders as he laid his hands over her stomach. Her back arched in pure pleasure as his tongue swirled and his lips sucked away at her throbbing clit. Her pants and moans turned into screams and her hands found their way to the back of his head pushing him further into her. She loved the tingling feelings that were shooting all over her body. She never wanted it to end and soon she felt that familiar shock go over her skin from her toes all the way to her fingertips and she bit down on her lip to stop any wild screams from being yelled as she came. He continued to suck on her clit to prolong the feeling. What he wanted was to make her cum so hard she forgot where she was and allow himself time to climb back on to the bed and slip into her wetness. His plan worked because as she fought to control her thoughts and breath he was back over her, looking into her gorgeous face as he pushed her legs apart and slipped in to his favorite place. She again let out a groan of pleasure as he stretched her to accommodate his length. He was hard and bigger than what she remembered from the last time they had sex and her body was struggling a bit to get use to his size. Once all the way in he braced himself on his elbows and buried his face into her neck were he began to suck on that part of her neck that drove her crazy and made her wet. At first he wanted to pound into her till she couldn't walk, less chance of her getting away but he knew that wasn't possible. His urge to make love to her slowly and soft possibly was the wrong choice. She had never felt so much love and devotion from him. While he slipped in and out he removed his head from her neck every now and then to look in her eyes. His eyes dropped to the top of her dress this time and he pulled it down far enough to reveal one of her breasts. He covered her nipple with his hot mouth and he began to suckle at it and played with the hardened nipple, flicking his tongue over it. Every time he did it her body jumped from the jolts of passion. She needed him to not be soft and loving, she needed him to be the man she remembered, a hard ass who demanded she take it. That was the only way she was going to be able to let him go. Her fingers trailed down his back, leaving scratches as if to mark him but she knew this wasn't fair, none of it was fair. She began to cry when she realized that letting him go was going to be next to impossible. Every rhythmic thrust sounded off with a slap as he picked up speed. He needed to make her his while she still let him inside. Just like he had done back on the boat he planned to cum inside her and bind her to him forever. She could feel her orgasm approaching and couldn't help but say what was on her mind.
"God I love you."
It hadn't been expected. He almost stopped but knew it was now or never. He reached down to help her along and a few short moments later her walls were tightening around his shaft and he slammed his eyes shut to urge his impending orgasm to come. Before she could realize what he was doing he dipped down and kissed her. To his surprise she grabbed the back of his head and forced him to kiss her harder. There was a moment, only for a second when he felt it could all actually work out. He'd convince her to stay with him, watch her as she slept and keep her in his sight and make sure to give his little swimmers a chance if they hadn't already done the job. He thought it all possible till he pulled back from the kiss and saw the look on her face. It was so loving and trusting and he knew then what he was doing was wrong. So instead when he felt that swell he pulled out and came on her thigh instead. His forehead planted on her chest and rose and fell with each of her breaths. They stayed that way, him on top with his head rested on her, her on the bottom almost clinging to him. It wasn't till she made a move to turn over and away from him that he spoke.
"So what was this Brooke. I need to know."
She could look at him. If she did she knew she'd give in. Would that be so terrible she kept thinking. Would it?
Well I don't know would it? Ha ha hope everyone enjoyed the update. Feeling too tired to mess with too much else after proof reading this one. Leave a review. Why? Because SIMON SAYS!