Sorry for the longish wait. School is eating up my time.

Pull me out the water, cold and blue,
I open my eyes and I see that it's you,
So I dive straight back in the ocean

The pounding in Merlin's head began two weeks ago; the night Arthur left. Since that night, Merlin had done everything in his power to make it stop. Well, almost everything.

He'd spent a whole day watching Will ink his comic book. He'd begged his aunt to let him baby-sit. Freya, of course, saw through his ploy and declined.

He played his piano until his fingers bled.

The fine hairs of his bow had been worn down from constant use.

Even with the continual activity, Merlin couldn't get Arthur's words out of his head. Would it be so bad to trust the man he'd been dating? He's never really told anyone what happened at Edwin's. Gawain and Will were only privy to the bare minimum on details; they knew enough to be angry, but not enough to be horrified. Could he reveal secrets he couldn't even tell his two closest friends?

As Merlin stared at the plain white wall of his bedroom, he knew his mind was already made up.

Take a deep breath, suck the water in my chest
Cross my fingers and hope for the best

Arthur's door opened to reveal two enquiring blue eyes. Merlin tried to swallow his guilt. He'd needed that time.

"Merlin, what-"

"Please, Arthur," Merlin pleaded. "I've finally worked up the nerve to come talk to you. I'm trying to give us a chance."

With a silent nod, Arthur allowed Merlin into his apartment.

The place was a mess. A complete wreck. Papers were strewn across the floor. Half empty teacups littered every available surface.

"I see you've been keeping yourself busy." Merlin commented, nearly tripping over an X-Box controller.

"Did you come here to make idle chit-chat?"

"No," Merlin sighed. "I just came to say that I do trust you, and how hard that is for me."

Arthur attempted to move closer, but saw the pain in Merlin's eyes. "Why?" he asked softly.

"I haven't healed yet."

"Then let me help you!" Arthur begged.

"It's not that simple!" Merlin took a deep breath. His nerves were completely overloaded. His boyfriend's earnest face motivated him further. "It's not that simple, Arthur. Edwin really messed me up. My friends keep reminding me that it's been two years and that I should just let it go, but I can't."

This time, Arthur didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Merlin. "Just tell me what I can do to help."

"Come to group with me. I'm ready to talk about it."

Then all of a sudden, I heard a note,
It started in my chest and ended in my throat
And then I realized I was swimming

Song: Swimming by Florence + The Machine