Fix You

Chapter Four

Carlisle's POV

I should be worrying about whether I'll see my wife again. I should be picturing her face and not Bella's.

But I can't help it; it's almost as though this stranger has completely consumed me and my thoughts. I've even confessed to her that I somehow already feel connected and every time she glances over at me with her face full of fear, it makes my stomach turn light.

For the briefest of seconds my mind wanders without warning, and I wonder if anything at all will happen between us if we escape this ordeal with our lives.

I know I'm being irrational and ridiculous. The responsibility can't be placed on me, though; I blame the fact that we're in the presence of an unstable gun-wielding lunatic.

And besides, I'm happily married. Of course I am. As well as that, Bella probably has a partner, beautiful as she is.

Yet, considering all of this, she's still somehow helping me to survive so far, in a way. Whenever I look at her, my thoughts are taken away from where we really are; it's both the sweetest and most painful relief.

I'm terrified for her. Terrified for all of the victims here, actually, but mostly for Bella. As a doctor I've become almost immune to the heartbreak of death over the years, yet she's had the torture of having to witness a murder just a few feet away from her eyes, and I fear that it's deeply shaken her. Of course it would do that to any normal person, but the look on her face when she'd managed to glance in my direction had made me turn cold. It was as though her thoughts were miles away, constantly replaying what she'd just seen. It'd haunt her for the rest of her life and I want nothing more than to take that burden away from her.

Knowing I'm powerless to do so crushes me once more.

I look over to the woman causing this inner turmoil and watch how she just stares silently down at her hands, seemingly fascinated by them. Her skin has turned paler than it was before and I fear that she may be suffering from shock.

We probably all are.

"James, please, I don't understand why you're acting like this..."

Victoria words come tumbling out of her mouth suddenly before she can even try to stop them, and the regret mixed with fear is plain on her face. Yet, despite this, somebody has to have the courage to speak and she's being bravely persistent.

We need to calm this man down somehow, find out his true motives and reasons, and Victoria seems to be the person most capable of doing that.

I'm just praying that she doesn't get harmed in the process; never before have I wanted to believe in miracles more than I do now.

"For God's sake, Victoria, we've been through all this shit before! Are you just too goddamn thick to realise that?"

I notice that tears are making their way down her cheeks and, glancing quickly at Bella, I see her face crumpled with sympathy.

"Can't you just tell me so that I can make it right?"

"Make it right? Now you're just deluded! You cheated on me! Cheated on me because you're a dirty s-"

"I didn't!" she protests passionately. "James, I told you that it was over between us before that even happened! It wasn't-"

"Shut up!" His angry voice demands obedience and the gun in his hand reinforces that fact. "Just shut the hell up or I'll blow your head off! I'm sick to death of your lies!" As the force and threat of these words sinks in, her shoulders sag in defeat. Surely she can't give up so easily?

"Please just... just let these other people go at least!" she persists and my faith in her is given a small boost. "They're innocent! We can deal with this together, alone!"

Instead of exploding with rage as I expect him to, James' eyes dangerously scan the room, first looking at Bella, then at me - it feels as though his stare burns a hole through me and I can't seem to breathe the whole time - and he then moves on to the two young girls in the corner who I'd ashamedly forgotten about.

"Alright then," he says finally, leaning casually against the table. "You can save... hmm, yeah, you can save two. Go on, take your pick."

Her eyes widen with horror and I frown; I'm no expert when it comes to hostages, but surely he'd want to keep as many as possible here with him? The man's a complete mystery and I'm struggling to figure out his thought process. Maybe he wants to make this as torturous for Victoria as possible? Or maybe he thinks he can keep control better with fewer people?

"I... I c-can't, I-"

"You wanted to," he jeers, a sly smile crawling onto his face. "Who will it be...?"

Somewhere deep down, I'm hoping that she'll say Bella. Bella and myself.

That's awfully selfish of me.

"You should s-save the youngest here," Bella says after a long, intense silence. "It's not fair, they've g-got a whole life ahead of them to lead. Either pick one of them and C-Carlisle, or both of them. Please."

Everyone's eyes in the room fall on her, but her expression doesn't falter; she shows determination and compassion despite what's happening, and I feel something towards her that I can't quite place.

James stares at her for a long time, probably trying to figure her out; perhaps he doesn't understand that some people can be completely selfless and thoughtful, putting others before themselves. Bella is a perfect example of that, and I'm still struggling to believe it; how, by chance, have I come across somebody who is so ideal in my eyes?

"Well, looks like it's decided then." James turns to the two young girls and heads slowly over, completely taking his time and relishing in his power. When his back's turned to us, I turn to glance at Bella and give her a questioning look. During the process, I notice that she's shaking a little more than before; how did she manage to suppress that when talking to the threat that was causing it?

There are lots of things I'd like to know about her.

"What?" she manages to ask eventually, her voice barely a whisper.

"You could have saved yourself."

Her eyebrows raise for a brief moment. "You already promised that you'd do that for me."

My heart feels heavy in my chest; she's right. "I did. And... and I will."

She doesn't reply; her gaze just wanders up and we watch the hysterical young girls crying together. It still seems illogical to let them go, even though I'm pleased somewhere deep down; surely they'd go and tell somebody what was happening? Then the police would get involved and perhaps James would react even more dangerously...

He probably wants that to happen.

He hasn't seemed to register this, though, and he leads the girls quietly to the door. "If you tell anybody," he begins, speaking just an inch or two away from their tear-stained faces, "you'll just make this a hell of a lot worse. Whatever happens, these lot are all gonna die, anyway; you tell and you'll make that happen even faster. Just be grateful you've got away with your fucking lives."

They both stare at him blankly, clearly battling with indecision.

"Actually, it might be fun if this turns into a whole police-hostage situation... feel free to tell if you want, it should be a laugh," he smirks. "I'll get even more attention. Do it, I dare you. But look at these people..." He sweeps his arm holding the gun across the room and the girls don't make eye contact with any of us. "They're gonna die for you. Keep that in your minds."

Before we can even blink, he opens the door and shoves them out roughly. I vaguely hear horrified sobbing, followed by rapid footsteps that soon disappear and leave us in the silence once again.

"Soooo," he continues, heading slowly back towards Victoria, "what shall we do now, babe?"

"You can let everyone else go," she says quietly and he grabs her by the hair.

"That's not an option." After circling around us like some kind of shark, he adds, "I think it's about time we had a little chat, actually. In private." Without any hesitation, he begins to remove the duct tape from the chair and yanks Victoria upright and away from the corpse beside her. Her hands are still secure behind her back as he pulls her away towards another room. Before shutting the door behind them, he turns to stare at Bella and myself.

"If any of you two do anything that you're not supposed to, anything, then you're dead."

Then the door closes and we're left alone.

Neither of us say anything for a few moments; the sound of our mismatched breathing fills the silent room.

"He'll hear us if we t-try to move," Bella finally whispers. "We're just helpless like... like sitting ducks!"

When my gaze moves naturally over to her I see that her eyes are frantic and the shaking has returned. I feel an overwhelming instinct to reach over and touch her, to tell her that everything will be okay, but I'm powerless to do so.

And besides, making another promise which I'm not sure if I can keep is surely an unwise action.

"Bella? Bella, look at me." It's as though the words mean nothing; she just continues to stare blankly into space. "Bella, please look at me."

As if it takes all her strength, she finally pulls her attention to me and I try to convey to her what I'm thinking.

"You're gonna tell me it'll all be fine but it's not!" she says in a rush. "He's gonna shoot us and we'll end up like the poor man who is rotting away beside me!"

Everything she says is drenched with despair and fear. Without considering the consequences, I use all my power to move towards her and, somehow, our shoulders end up touching. This small amount of contact provides me with some relief, despite how cold she feels, and Bella just looks at me blankly.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry. I..." My eyes follow the path her tears take down her cheeks as she struggles to find how to finish. "My life felt so m-monotonous and boring just earlier today and I was complaining about it... I'd give anything to be back in my bathroom grimacing at the cold water coming from my shower."

"I know, I know."

"Why is this happening to us?" she continues, her eyebrows furrowing together with confusion. "Why him?" Her eyes flicker to the body that's been lifeless for too long, way before it's time. "I thought there was meant to be some justice. It's-"

"Bella, please calm down and breathe, you're looking incredibly unwell," I warn, but she just scoffs.

"Unwell? I wonder why! What a stupid thing to say!" She sighs after a moment and the guilt is clear on her face; she's too kind-hearted to be bitter. "I'm sorry, Carlisle. That was uncalled for."

"It's perfectly understandable."

"No, I shouldn't take it out on you." Without warning, she lurches forward in a desperate attempt to free herself.

"Bella, you should save your energy. Bella, please stop."

"Save my energy for what?" she asks, her eyes land on mine again.

"For when we get a chance to get out of here," I say, lowering my voice conspiratorially.

"Have you got some sort of plan?" The hope flickers in her eyes and causes them to somehow become alive for the briefest of moments; the life contrasts from the grey colour of her skin and I feel a pain in my chest about letting her down.

"Not yet."

Hearing this, she lumps back against the table. "I don't know why I'm putting my trust into you."

"Just give me a chance and you might find out."

"We might not have the time for chances."

"Tell me about yourself." It doesn't seem possible that her eyes can widen even further, but they do as she looks towards me in confusion at my random question. "What?"

"I said tell me about yourself," I repeat calmly. "We need to take our minds off what's happening."

"And that's going to help how...?"

"Would you rather sit here doing nothing and thinking about what might happen or have some kind of decent conversation instead?"

She doesn't look convinced. "I'd probably bore you to death. Although that's not the kind of thing I should be joking about under these circumstances."

I notice that her voice seems a little calmer and continue, wanting to make her better. "I'm interested. Go on."

"No, really," she turns to me and the ghost of a smile lingers on her lips, "I've got the most boring life ever, but I'd give anything to have it back." Her voice falters and, after a brief pause, she adds, "I had no social life, I was pathetic... I really should have made the most out of it."

Her regretful tone makes me turn cold. "Why the past tense?"

"Well it's ending here today, isn't it?" She seems oddly stoical, as if she's accepted her fate without a fight. "I've been so stupidly ungrateful and now know what I've been missing. It's flaming painful!"

"It's certainly put my life into perspective," I admit. "And it's not necessarily ending here today, Bella."

"It seems likely! I mean he-"

Bella never finishes her sentence; she's cut off by the loud and terribly familiar sound of the gun firing in the other room. Everything turns silent, eerily so, and we both wait with pounding hearts to see if another life has cruelly ended.