A/N: Kso, I know the response to this story isn't very large, and, honestly, I don't blame y'all, cuz it has very little to do with the actual HSM characters, but I swear we're going to get to them! :D Enjoy.

4.17.07

Setting: Junior Year, during April Vacation

The doorbell rang. Chuckie got up off the couch and answered it, still nose deep in New Moon.

"Hey, Chuckie," JJ said. "Where's Sarah?"

"Mom took her to the doctor's. You know that. What's up?"

"Are you going to look at me when you speak?"

"No, I'm going to read as I speak," Chuckie said, continuing to read.

"Dude," JJ said, waving his hand between Chuckie's face and the book.

"I will be right with you as soon as the Cullens come back. I hate that part." JJ rolled his eyes and pushed his way into the house. Chuckie shut the door with one hand and slowly made his way into the living room, sitting right next to JJ on the couch.

"So you're really just going to ignore me?" Chuckie got up off the couch and began walking up the stairs to his room. JJ followed. "Don't run away. When's Sarah gonna be home?" Chuckie continued to ignore him, now sitting on his bed. "Hello? Are you in there?" Chuckie turned a page. "Hello?" JJ stuck his head in between Chuckie and the book. Chuckie stuck his tongue out and licked JJ's nose. "Ew! Did you just lick me?"

"Why, do you like it?"

"Of course not!"

"Uh-huh," Chuckie said. He still hadn't taken his eyes off his book.

"Don't do that. That's the exact same thing you did to Troy and BAM. 3 years later, you're having sex in the showers at school."

"Don't make me laugh. We never did that."

"Fine, that must have been Chad and Sarah."

"Now they did that. I do not want to be Jason."

"Me neither."

"Who the fuck are you kidding? You want to fuck my sister in the showers – anywhere, really – until the cows come home. And you're oh-so-jealous Chad did it first."

"Yeah, but I don't want to watch her and Chad doing it."

"Yes, you do," Chuckie replied, finally looking up from his book. "You're so bi it's actually funny."

"I am not," JJ mumbled. "You're trying to turn me. Stop it." Chuckie closed his book and set it on his nightstand.

"Michael Phelps, Zac Efron, and Daniel Radcliffe are all naked in a room."

"Why?"

"Because they think you're cute. Which one's the best?"

"Uh, I don't know."

"Liar."

"Daniel Radcliffe."

"And why is that?"

"Because there are naked pictures of him on the internet." Chuckie started laughing and JJ stuttered trying to take back what he'd said. "I mean…that I happened upon looking for Girl on Girl porn!"

"Yeah, right. You heard about them and wanted to see them."

"Fine, I did, but I'm not gay!"

"I did not say you were. I said you were bi. I don't know any true gays. Besides myself. And I pride myself on that."

"Um congrats? You gotta help me."

"Help? I don't do help anymore. If I have to be one more guy's experiment I might go on a straight bashing rampage."

"How many guys do you know who are straight, anyway?"

"Not many, I gotta say. But I'd like to know more."

"Why, so you can change them too?"

"Are you kidding? I have my pick at the moment."

"Of who?"

"Well, right now, it's you or Justin. And I'm really leaning towards him. I am, like, three seconds from calling him."

"Why call him? I'm right here…"

"Don't even try that. I am not doing that." JJ pouted.

"C'mon. How am I supposed to know?"

"Try gay porn. There's some on my computer if you'd like." Chuckie reached for his book again, but JJ knocked it out of his hand. "You did not just knock New Moon out of my hand."

"I did. What are you gonna do about it?"

"Absolutely nothing. Because you want me to do something." There was a pause. "Why in the hell am I saying no to this?"

"I have no idea."

"And I have two – no, three – conditions."

"And they are?"

"One, you're not allowed to fall in love with me."

"Done."

"Two, Troy and Sarah…yeah, they don't find out."

"Also done."

"Three, this is under my jurisdiction. Because…well, because I can, and it's free. Okay?"

"Agreed."

"Good. Now, where was I? Oh, right." Chuckie picked his book up off the ground, opened it back up to the page he was on, and continued reading.

"Hey!"

"You agreed. I told you I'd be right with you as soon as the Cullens came back. Why did you think I meant?"

"But–"

"What'cha gonna do?" Chuckie asked, grinning at his book. "Fall in love with me? Tell Sarah? Either way, you seriously get your ass kicked."

"Fine," JJ said, laying across the bed so his head was off one side and his legs were hanging off the other. Suddenly Chuckie's head came into his field of vision.

"You didn't really think I'd keep you waiting like that, did you? I may be devious, but I'm not cruel." He laughed, and JJ cocked an eyebrow. "Sorry. Where were we?" He didn't wait for an answer before attacking JJ's lips, face, and head with his lips and teeth. He'd never been so aggressive before, but he liked it. Maybe he would call Justin when this was over. Soon by force of habit, Chuckie had somehow wormed himself completely on top of JJ, who had already shed his sweatshirt. JJ flipped them over, attacking Chuckie's body with the same animalistic fervor. After JJ's t-shirt went up and over his head, he began to realize exactly what he was getting into. And he began to get scared that maybe he was getting in way too far for his first time around. He began praying to the Gods of…anything that would listen, that Sarah would come home and they would have to stop. When Chuckie's t-shirt went too, he halted the entire process. "What, are you bored already?"

"No. Scared."

"Wuss."

"I am not. I just–"

"Shut up," Chuckie said. "You know you want it." JJ thought about that.

"Well, yeah, but–"

"So shush." Chuckie had a hand snaked into JJ's jeans before he could protest again. JJ was properly aroused by this. "J…are you…never mind, stupid question."

"There are no stupid questions. Only stupid AN-swers. What are you doing?"

"Trying to get your pants down, but you're sitting on them." JJ scooted so his pants came off.

"No, I mean, what are we doing?"

"Well, I was about to give you the very best blowjob you'll ever have in your entire life, unless you can convince Troy to give you one somehow…unless you have a better idea?"

"No, no, that's fine."

"Okay, then. Shut up." Chuckie kissed JJ's slightly open mouth and it shut immediately, so he licked his way down JJ's chest to the band of his boxers. They were plaid. "Someone obviously wasn't thinking of sex when they got up this morning."

"No, I wasn't. I was thinking about school."

"Shush." Chuckie had learned a couple tricks on the sexiest way to pull off boxers, and immediately decided not to use any of them. After pausing a moment, his tongue in JJ's belly button (which was thankfully clean), and pulled them down with his teeth. Why not? Insert Tab A into Chuckie's mouth and suck vigorously. By the noises emitting from JJ's mouth, he really enjoyed the best blowjob he would ever get.

"How in the world did you learn to do that?" JJ asked, panting.

"I had an amazing teacher," Chuckie said, winking, and licking his lips sensually. "You taste good. Just so you know." JJ frowned at Chuckie, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"Aren't you even hard?"

"No," Chuckie said, shrugging. "Why? Should I be?"

"You just gave the best blowjob in the world. I would be."

"You have absolutely no sense of…I don't know, center of gravity, or something. If I was going to give ridiculously bad head, I could afford to be hard. Now, I don't know about you, but God only gave me enough blood to work one at a time," he said, pointing between his head and his crotch. "And they don't call it head for nothing."

"You can control…that?"

"Dude, you're seventeen. Shouldn't you know that?"

"No," JJ mumbled.

"Right, I forgot. Someone's a virgin." JJ scowled at the wall. "Don't worry, I'm not collecting trophies. I won't even take it if you want." JJ still didn't have anything to say to that. "Because I'm sure you'd much rather give it to my sister."

"She doesn't kiss anything like you do."

"I…am not really sure exactly what to do with that knowledge, thanks."

"I'm just saying."

"Okay, then. As the only person who has officially kissed both me and Sarah, who's the better kisser?"

"Well, unless she's gotten better since the seventh grade, I would have to say you."

"They do say practice makes perfect…"

"That would explain the blowjob."

"Yes, it would, wouldn't it?" Chuckie picked up JJ's discarded boxers and tossed them to him. JJ looked confused. "Well, I figured you didn't want to be sitting around naked if we're gonna keep talking like this. Especially since Sarah's due home any second." JJ contemplated that for half a second, then pulled his boxers back on.

"Yeah, this doesn't look any less weird," he remarked. Chuckie was still shirtless, and the only thing on JJ's body was his boxers.

"Maybe you should have pants. Although it'd be a shame to have to take them off again."

"By that logic, you shouldn't even wear them."

"I don't."

"That's…too much information."

"Just in case Troy loses it in the locker rooms, I don't want to waste his time by wearing underwear."

"That is never gonna happen."

"Hey, he's just as sex-deprived as I am. More, even, considering he doesn't even kiss his girlfriend."

"When are you gonna stop bribing people with fives to interrupt them?"

"Whenever I damn well feel like it."

"Okay." There was a silence. "That was one helluva first sexual experience."

"Thank you. I also take pride in that."

"Are you perhaps thinking of pursuing a career in that?" JJ ducked quickly to avoid Chuckie's swinging arm, and his head collided with the foot board of the bed. Hard. "Oww!"

"Shit," Chuckie said. "Are you okay? How many fingers am I holding up?"

"None," JJ said. "Can I have some ice? Please? That really hurts."

"Yeah, sure, come on, there's some in the freezer." JJ grabbed his pants with the hand that wasn't to the spot on his head he'd banged on the footboard, and followed Chuckie downstairs. Chuckie got a cold pack from the freezer, wrapped it in a towel, and passed it to JJ. "Although you might want to think about putting those on if we're gonna hang out down here."

"Why in the hell do you think I grabbed them? Here, hold this." He put Chuckie's hand on the cold pack, still pressed to his head, and attempted to pull his pants on without falling over, which, of course, ended with both boys in a pile on the floor. The cold pack stayed on JJ's head the entire time.

"Sorry," Chuckie said, untangling his legs from JJ's arm and pants.

"That's okay," JJ replied, pulling his pants on, before sitting up and taking control of the cold pack again.

"Hey, wait a sec," Chuckie said. He looked both ways, although the house was empty (a habit he'd picked up from Troy), then moved the cold pack to the side, kissing the spot that had been hurt. "All better?"

"No. It still hurts."

"Then, ice is probably good." The cold pack was moved back into place, and both boys stood up. "I always knew that didn't work. Mom is a liar."

"Yeah, well, she probably had a good reason. My head hurtses."

"C'mon, sit on the couch." They both walked into the living room. Chuckie sat down on the couch, and JJ laid across him, so his head was in his lap, looking up at him. "Yeah, and this won't look weird if Mom and Sarah come home."

"Not at all."

"Maybe they went shopping. I could use some more jeans."

"You have like a hundred pairs."

"I know. I could still use some more."

"I will never understand you."

"I will never understand you either. Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"What? No! Are you aware how unbelievably rude that would have been just now?"

"Yeah, that's why I mentioned."

"No, I don't have a girlfriend, unless…the whole school thinks I'm having sex with your sister, does that count?"

"Nope."

"Then no."

"Cuz you're not having sex with my sister. In fact, you're not having sex. So there."

"You're not having sex either."

"But I've had sex. And I could be having sex if I could get up the energy to dial seven digits and hold a four minute telephone conversation."

"Is it that easy?"

"It is if you're me. But then, I give the second best head in the entire world."

"Ah, that would play some kind of factor."

"It does."

"Sure, sure." Chuckie laughed. "It shakes my head when you laugh."

"Sorry."

"No, it's not a bad thing, it's just…weird."

"Okay. Good weird or bad weird?"

"Just weird. Maybe a little good."

"You're not allowed to fall in love with me. I mean it."

"I know. I'm not."

"Okay. Just checking. I mean, so many people do, it's just so hard to keep track." JJ laughed.

"Okay, ow, that hurts my head."

"Yeah, it would. Try the ice, stupid." JJ smirked and put the cold pack back on his bump.

"So what are we telling your mom when she comes home and sees us like this?"

"That it was hot, so we took off our shirts, and then you fell over, cuz you're a retard, and then you were laughing really hard so you fell into my lap."

"That sounds like me."

"I know. That's why I said it."

"You're smart. I like that."

"Almost everyone does." There was a silence. "Out of curiosity, does this seem like something you'd like to do again?"

"Will my head hurt less next time?"

"I hope so. You know, since you've never had a sexual experience with a chick before, this kind of makes you gay."

"I am not."

"Okay." Chuckie ran a couple of fingers down JJ's bare chest to the small bulge in his pants, meanwhile observing his face. JJ shuddered at the sensation. "You were saying?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

"It doesn't matter to me if you're gay or not. Screwing straight boys seems like a task I'm up for."

"A straight boy wouldn't be your boyfriend."

"Oh, and you would?"

"I might. Depends on who's asking."

"I am."

"Then yes."

"Really?"

"Course. Unless you don't want to.

"Course I do. You still can't tell Troy or Sarah, you still can't fall in love with me, and it's still under my jurisdiction. If that's still okay with you."

"Totally."

"I mean it."

"I know."

"Okay. Then it's settled. Welcome, John James Black to your first real relationship." There was the sound of doors slamming in the driveway. "And just in time too. Interesting." JJ sat up, still holding the cold pack to his head. Sarah stormed through the door and up the stairs. Mrs. Brown, also in a huff, stalked into the kitchen. JJ and Chuckie looked at each other, then ran up the stairs to Sarah's room.

"Leave me alone!"

"C'mon, Sar, what's wrong?" JJ asked.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm not altogether entirely sure. Let us in and tell us what's wrong." The door opened and JJ and Chuckie walked into her room.

"Mom's being a bitch about…it."

"And what else is new?"

"Shut up. She doesn't want me to know the sex of the baby. Or I'll get attached and want to keep it."

"You already do."

"Thank you!" Chuckie pulled his phone out of his pocket. Sarah's had gotten confiscated for too many texts to Tia.

"Here, call Dr. Abrams and ask." Sarah took the phone and dialed.

"Hey, Jared, it's me. Can you come over? I miss you. Thanks. Yep. Uh-huh, love you too. See you in a bit." She gave the phone back to Chuckie. "Shouldn't you two have shirts on?"

"Right, well, it was hot in here, so we sort of…took our shirts off. And then JJ fell, because he's a retard…"

"You're both retards."

"Yes, yes we are. Now, if you'll excuse us…" They left the room, and went back to Chuckie's.

"Well, fuck," JJ said.

"No, we probably shouldn't. Jared's gonna be here soon."

"That is really not what I meant. I meant Jared."

"No, you don't fuck Jared. That's out."

"I mean he should just–"

"I know. I'm just giving you a hard time. I know, you hate Jared, got it."

"No, I don't hate Jared. He's my best friend. But why does he get her?"

"Yeah, I've been there."

"Your serious Gabriella issues aside, I don't think this is the same thing. I mean, he's my best friend. And she's Sarah. I mean it's Sarah."

"My boyfriend's in love with my sister. I think I've heard that one too." JJ rolled his eyes.

"Are you just gonna compare me to Troy all the time?"

"Naw. I'm just giving the straight kid a hard time."

"That's not a nickname I'd like to acquire."

"Too late."

"Shit."

"Yep. So in that case, unless you want to murder your best friend…"

"She doesn't really love him, does she?"

"No."

"How do you know?"

"Cuz she's my sister and I know who–"

"It's not me, is it?"

"Sorry Jay."

"Now Chad I want to kill."

"Oh please don't. Troy would yell at me for letting you."

"Is everything about him?"

"Is that going to be a problem?"

"I thought this was a relationship."

"It is."

"You love him."

"No, I hate her."

"Almost the same diff. But you do love him."

"Did Sarah tell you that?"

"No, but I'm not a retard."

"Yes you are."

"Not about this."

"This isn't going to work."

"I'm not really expecting it to. But I want it to."

"So do I."

"So we can try to make it work."

"We can." Sounds were heard on the stairs, and of Jared going into Sarah's room. JJ sighed and picked his shirt up off the floor. Chuckie sighed, and crossed the room to his closet, pulling out another shirt. On his way back, he took a gander out the window, and happened to catch sight of Troy and Gabriella alternately eating grapes and frolicking on Troy's lawn. He sighed again.

"He's out there, isn't he?"

"Yep."

"This is never going to work."

"I know."

"Well, I better be going. Thanks for the…um…everything. See you tomorrow. At school."

"Yeah, sure," Chuckie said, waving to his new boyfriend as he let himself out.

5.19.07

Setting: Night of Prom, Junior Year.

"Jayze, you said I could. It's the night of Prom. What could be more perfect?"

"I don't know. I feel, like, guilty, doing it with someone I don't love." Chuckie sighed.

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"So, is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Hey, don't be mad."

"Here, I'll make you a deal. Sarah's due in September. I will give you from the day the baby's born until Thanksgiving. During that time, you can do whatever you want. My sister, me, Tia Mitchell, hell, even Jared if you want."

"Troy?"

" No. Troy's off limits. You don't like him anyway. Not like that. But on Thanksgiving you get a choice. Me…or someone else."

"What about all the days between now and the day the baby's born?"

"Okay, there's a section in the library, and I want you to read some of the books."

"You're gonna make me read gay books."

"I made Troy read em too, even ask. Although he's kinda touchy about me telling people and not telling him. Like he's keeping track of everyone that knows to make sure it…doesn't…get…out… That's exactly what he's doing. Oh, I'm gonna kick his ass."

"It's one in the morning." Chuckie sighed.

"Tomorrow then. Is your mother home?"

"Nope. I think she's at my dad's house. What's the point of trial separation if you keep being un-separated?" Chuckie shrugged.

"Is your brother there?"

"I guess. He's not here either."

"What's the point in being home alone if you're not gonna have sex?"

"That's a good question. I guess there isn't one."

"Sex?"

"Didn't you just make me a deal?"

"Yeah. I was just checking to make sure you still don't wanna do it tonight."

"Sorry, no."

"Okay."

"Look. Sex is kind of a big deal to me. And I know that's not really what you'd think, but I want my first time to be with someone I love."

"Sarah."

"Not necessarily."

"Just say yes and get on with it."

"Yes to what?"

"Something. All I ever get from you is no."

"That's why this isn't going to work out."

"Says the straight kid."

"I don't like that nickname. I thought I told you that."

"You did. I ignored you. Look, it doesn't have to be a big deal."

"I know but–"

"Let me finish! But I get that you think it is. So that's fine. I respect your wishes."

"That doesn't sound like you."

"You're my boyfriend. Why wouldn't I?"

"Just doesn't sound like you."

"Look, J, I got to have my first time with someone I love, why shouldn't you?"

"Because the– Never mind. Thank you."

"So, night then."

"Night, Chucks." Both boys rolled away from each other, neither wanting to admit the things in his own head, and went to sleep.

5.20.07

Setting: The Next Morning

"So, are we breaking up, or what?" JJ asked.

"I don't see that that's necessary, but if you want to," Chuckie said. It was the next morning, and both boys were sitting over bowls of Lucky Charms in the dining room at JJ's house.

"I don't really want to, but I thought you might want to. You're always talking about calling up Justin for booty call or whatever. And since you like that kind of thing, maybe you should. And I thought that maybe me being here was getting in the way of that."

"This is your house."

"You know what I mean."

"I know. I'll miss you."

"Even if I don't put out."

"Yeah. I guess I'll still see you around, though."

"Um…what?"

"I said I'll miss you, but it's okay cuz I'll probably still see you around all the time. You're my sister's best friend, after all. And we go to the same school. We're on the same baseball team."

"Yeah, we'll be seeing each other. I'm not dying or moving away. We're just…falling apart. It hardly counts as a breakup."

"Because it hardly counted as a relationship."

"Well, there is that. So. Thanksgiving, right?"

"Yep."

"Okay."

"You do realize you drove me here last night. So you have to take me home."

"Yeah, I know."

"Just telling you."

"Should probably figure out where your shirt got off to."

"I think it's in the car."

"No, that's where your jacket ended up."

"Living room?"

"Tie."

"Stairs."

"Maybe. I thought that was where my shirt ended up."

"I don't know, bathroom?"

"No, that was my pants."

"Then I don't know, okay."

"Maybe somewhere between the living room and the stairs."

"You're such a genius. It was between the time you lost your shirt and I lost my tie. Must be between the living room and the stairs."

"I'm just saying."

"Actually, I think it ended up on the ceiling fan in the family room."

"Definitely my jacket. I remember, because you had to throw it twice."

"And through all of that, I still managed to keep my pants on. Are you ever going to take them off of me?"

"Well, I thought we broke up."

"So that's a no."

"Did we break up?"

"Unfortunate as it is, I believe we did."

"I'm gonna miss this."

"What? Being in a relationship? We don't have to break up. I'll miss being in a relationship too, and have to find fun again by torturing Troy and Gabriella."

"That would be a ginormous shame."

"It really would. So, I guess I'm calling Justin."

"Isn't there a waiting period for how long you have to wait before dating again?"

"I don't think so. Especially if no one knew in the first place."

"As crazy a fake relationship this was, I'm really gonna miss this."

"So you said."

"Do you really want to break up?"

"No. But it's for the…greater good, I guess. I'm calling Justin the second I get home anyway, so we might as well."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Remember the deal."

"Wouldn't forget it. I just may have to take you up on it." Chuckie smiled. Throughout all the pain and suffering he'd dealt with, what with the Troy breakup, JJ had always been someone he could count on. Sure, he was Sarah's best friend, and not his, and he was in love with Sarah, not him, but that just made it all the more easier. Didn't it?

A/N: Blah, blah, blah...don't own HSM...don't own New Moon...thanks for reading...I know you are reading this...I want to hear your thoughts! What do you think will happen next? I WANNA KNOW! TELL ME!

plzthxbai
Samantha