I be back. Sorry for the fact that this ones short. I didnt want to stretch it too far. I still dont own Harry Potter but it is on my wishlist if you wanna get it for my birthday. Its in about a month.
Chapter Four
Remus was having an intense flashback. As he had wished earlier to be anywhere else, he know wished to be back in the room with Snape. At least with Snape there he didn't have to relive this.
Snape watched this. He watched a nearly grown man behave like a scared child. He watched as Lupin twitched from danger that wasn't really in the bathroom with them. Snape realized that now was his chance to escape. He had cared enough to get credit for being a good person. He had stayed long enough to not feel like a total douche for leaving. He also knew that Lupin was having a legit breakdown and nothing he could do would help.
With this knowledge at his side he decided to pack up all of his newly acquired materials and leave before someone caught the Slytherin caring. Slytherins hated him enough already, why should he give them more of a reason.
Remus didn't know when Snape left. He did know he would though. In his mind he saw the memory so vividly. Snape had asked Remus to relive the horror of that day and he was.
It was years ago. Remus was only seven years old. He had just been attacked. His wizard parents had known what it meant. Fenrir Greyback had succeeded in changing this young child. His parents had smiled and held him close. They had told him they loved him
His parents ran hi a bath. He was severely torn up and they had said they wanted to wash him up. They had held him close as the water ran into the tub. They had never been clingy but they seemed to refuse to put him down.
The bathroom was bright white. It was covered in little red drops of Remus' blood. They had looked sadly and said that they would clean it up once he was taking care of. It had sounded so sickly sweet. It was like they loved him again, like they had when he was younger, before they lost the baby.
His mother had been pregnant when Remus was three and had miscarried. His parents had turned sour then, not as kind and loving as before. It didn't make sense to Remus. He hadn't done anything wrong. But it was okay now because he was hurt and they were going to make him all better and love him like they used to.
He had quivered in his mothers arms as the water was drawn. It didn't look warm like his baths normally were. She had run loving fingertips up his arms, along his wrists. She had said it was because it was the only part that wasn't already injured. She had said it was because this wouldn't hurt him like touching him in other places might upset the wounds. He had believed it. It hadn't seemed right but he was seven who was he to judge.
He had been so scared still. That creature was still out in the night. The moon shown through he window. All he could feel was his mothers finger tips on his wrists, like that was somehow important. He moaned a little as she lowered him into the bath. The motion jostled his ribs. He had been right, the water was much too cold. It stung in his open wounds. He was pretty sure it was supposed to though. It was whatever potion his dad had put in the tub. It stopped stinging soon though, just as his mom promised.
His parents had put some soap on a wash cloth and used it to clean the dry blood from off of his face. It was strange that the were doing this the muggle way. They never gave him baths the muggle way. He had asked about it. They had said that tonight was a big deal and they wanted to make it special. His dad had looked right into his eyes and told him how terribly brave he was being. His mom had broken down and cried. They had both just stared at him, his mom through the tears in her eyes. All that he felt was cold. He didn't feel the pain anymore. Only cold. He had told them that. They had looked sadly at each other.
The white walls suddenly seemed darker. His parents were sad he was hurt. How could he worry them like this? They had already lost their baby. He had no right to make them worry for him. He was their only and he had no right to worry them. He looked into his mothers eyes. Her auburn hair was dripping wet. He had told her not to worry. He had said that he was fine. He felt better already. They could just put him in his bed and in the morning he would be fine.
His mom had begun to sob then, wailing like someone had died. His dad told her to leave the room. He had said that he could handle it. Handle it? He had been puzzled because that didn't sound sweet.
He had looked in his father eyes. The love had left them as soon has his mother left. Didn't they know he was still scared? Just because he didn't want them to worry didn't mean he didn't want the to care.
His father walked closer and sat beside the tub. He had held Remus' hand. It was nice, the first father son bonding in a really long time. The grip got uncomfortable. The painful. He had cried out. His father had said something about how they clearly weren't meant to have kids. But they still had him. He was still there. His father pushed him under the water. He screamed. He could still hear his mother wailing in the next room. His dad had lost it but his mom would help him. He heard the front door open and closed. She had left. He was still screaming. His mom had gone to get help. He just had to survive until she came back. She would hurry back..
His kicking and thrashing slowed but his dad was upset. He said that "they" took more to kill. Remus didn't understand who they were. His dad had just said "they" took longer to kill. Was he the "they"? Why was he being targeted? Why did the comfortable ignorance of him suddenly turn murderous. His dad pulled out a knife. Where he was hiding it Remus didn't know. Remus didn't care. Using his elbow to hold Remus under his father had grabbed for his wrist and slit it. It should have hurt. Remus knew it should have hurt. He waited for the pain.
He felt no pain though. In later years he had speculated as to why it didn't hurt. His dad would have said it was because he was a monster and monsters felt no pain. His mom would have said it didn't hurt because they loved him and did it for love. When he was little he believed it was the second reason, the love. Around ten he decided it must be the first. Monsters didn't feel pain. But then one day he had fallen through the Black Lake and gotten trapped beneath the ice. Ironically enough he had been following Snape and Malfoy to make sure Malfoy didn't put Snape under the ice. Remus had gone without oxygen for a minute and a half. He thought he had died. When Sirius pulled him out he was unconscious. He never asked Sirius why he was there,
When he recovered in the hospital wing he was told he had had three broken ribs, Sirius' attempt at CPR. This stunned him. He had felt no pain because he had been deprived of oxygen. That is his knew theory. His parent s didn't love the hurt away. The monster did feel pain. The lack of oxygen made him numb.
He still wondered how he survived. This is one he wish he could ask someone about. Would just being a werewolf make him that much harder to kill? Or was it just half assed to begin with? When he came to he had been alone in an ice cold tub of water. His parents had fled the house. All of his things were left. They didn't care enough to take a memento of their only child.
The ambulance had arrived minutes after his call. They said they had at least. He had lost conciseness again by the time they got there. The case worker he had been assigned to had been horrified by his tale. The foster family had been hideous, everyone of them. The homes always reminded him of the dreadful look in his fathers eyes. More people who didn't want him. Would they try to kill him too. When he received his Hogwarts letter he had been thrilled. He had heard his parents talk of it but his memories of his parents where jumbled, filled with monsters and crocodile tears.
He had a home when he arrived at Hogwarts. Albus had taken him under his wing. He didn't even know the truth of his parents. Remus hated having to keep this from them. He loved the guys, the support they gave him. They already pitied him. He didn't need them to pity him for more than just the monster.
Remus still had no idea how no one noticed the scars. Snape was the only one and that was with a pretty obvious hint on Remus' part. He liked to kiss his scars. It was sick but it was all he had left of his parents. He was the only monster that had nothing of his parents. He tried to think positively of them. How could he hate who begot him? He couldn't. And if he was going to love the people who so intentionally tried to mortally wound him, then he had to try to love the nearly fatal wounds, and their scars. Even though he knew, or thought he knew, that only his father drew a blade, he liked to pretend the were a joint gift. If the were then he could stay in touch with both of his parents without having to see their faces. Without having to remember the dead pan look on his father's face.
This plan hadn't worked so well tonight. He had been doing fine until something set him off. He had lost it. And now some vile little snake knew his secret. He knew he had to get up. Somewhere Snape was telling someone, using it as leverage. He slowly struggled to his feet, legs wobbly. He looked around at a bathroom of all places. He remembered all the stuff he had had with him.
That fucking sneaky git. "Fucking hell." He had whispered it. Remus was so angry he was shaking harder than he ever had, except during transformations. He helps the little bastard. He keeps him alive. In a moment of weakness he tells him his deepest darkest secret. And now "Snivelly" decided to waltz off with all of his stuff. Snape would have to make it on his own for a few days. Remus was to mad to get anywhere near a plan against Snape. Being this angry the plan would soon turn murderous and Sirius and James would have no problem with murdering a certain snaky bastard if Remus asked them. He wouldn't even have to say why. They would just kill the little fuck.
He needed to go somewhere other than the dorms right now. If he went there right now they would wake up and ask hi if something was wrong. He would lie of course but they'd see through and ask who to kill. And he would say Severus and it would be considered done. Its not like this hadn't been a threat before. It was a daily thing. Sirius wouldn't even ask for it. He would just say please really sweetly because they already knew what he wanted. Remus had said no up until now, but he was tempted to just set them free.
His brain wasn't making any sense and he was giggling a little at how they would really kill him. He needed a bath. As a prefect he got to share in the over the top bathing arrangement. He liked the sound of this plan and exited this bathroom heading for another.
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