Hey. Im back. This one is most just about the two main characters backgrounds and feelings. Kinda less exciting than Remus' atack, but I added our favorite dungeon bat. I just saw the Harry Potter movies and decided to give you an update no matter how late. I hope you guys enjo even though I do not own Harry Potters world or person.
Chapter Seven
It was morning again in Remus' little world. This morning he didn't have to worry about waking up though, because his eyes hadn't closed for longer then the occasional second, the acceptable length for a blink. He couldn't sleep, and in an already frazzled state with an issue that required pondering he figured thinking would be better than lying and pretending to sleep.
He needed to figure out who had jumped him. He really didn't care who his mysterious stranger was because when, not if, but when they needed something from him he was sure they would be in touch. He couldn't, however, wait for the attacker to decide to reveal themselves. That was bad strategy and he would not get any sleep till he had the small comfort of knowing who was after him this time.
This was conveniently timed for he had to sooth Sirius by getting back at the note senders. They were obviously Slytherins but may or may not be the culprit in the attempted abduction. He could use this revenge prank as cover for a spell to uncover who made the attempt last night. He still had kinks to work out of his plan so he would be saving that until tomorrow, and if he could find the them out another way he would have no qualms with ditching the prank all together.
He rose as usual. He took his run, farther and faster to leave behind the fear and sadness of last night. His schedule for today was rather intense. He had mostly just help this morning, and then papers to look over later. The help session went normal. He was as chipper as usual adding extra emphasis to the important parts of the lessons. He needed a normal breakfast though. He couldn't be distracted. He needed this time to observe the "enemy" table. Really Remus had nothing against Slytherins but it was easier to psyche the others up to aid him if he talked of "The Enemy" and "The Cause."
At the breakfast table he sat with his back to the wall, his enhanced werewolf sense of self preservation and the slight hint of human fear that always coated his brain was appeased by this act, allowing him to be on guard at every moment of his time. Gryffindor wasn't always on the far side but he was the most comfortable then. Sirius was always by his side though, the only thing to keep him sane when he had to sit with one whole table behind him and completely out of sight. Across sat James and Peter. Peter still looked oddly morbid, down cast and yet his eyes showed hints of individualistic thought, which never crossed his mind.
Across the other two tables were the Slytherins. This was always the safest setting, less chance of a disagreement between the fiery houses so filled with hate. The Slytherins always seemed much more collected than the Gryffindors. They always seemed in control. This only added to Gryffindor's popularity because they took the stuck up snobs down a few pegs.
His animalistic senses drew him to look beyond the table of minor strife, to the table across the room with at least one actual enemy hiding in the snakes' midst. Today the sun shone brightly threw the windows, casting a warm glow over the usual pallor of these dungeon dwellers. In spite of the light radiating from all the faces he wasn't warmed. His eyes, heightened as they were, still strained to see any signs of guilt on the emotionless faces of these nearly mindless drones. Surprisingly nearly half of the sixth year drones were gazing back at him, eyes filled with the same nearly unconscious glaze that covers Wormtail's eyes.
At the center of this pack was a seventh year core, including Bella Black and Rodulphus Lestrange. Beside these two sat the inevitable leader. Malfoy claimed this right by being a child of power and wealth, the only things of importance in the Slytherin world view. He also had a certain charisma that made the popular people gravitate toward him and the weak and unworthy cower at his mere mention. Lucius Malfoy looked directly into the focused eyes of Remus. He searched the searching eyes for any trace of fear and was slightly saddened to find none in the depths.
The platinum blondes eyes fought with the shields that protected the feelings of a younger sandy blonde. Remus knew occlumency but also knew it was unnecessary as the probing he felt was merely curiosity and a close scrutiny from an eye well trained in observing all.
This shared gaze, filled with intrigue for both sides went unnoticed by the Great Hall at large. This look distracted both lookers from noticing the one other being watching them. They all failed to noticed a lone Slytherin in the darkness between windows, hunkered towards the end of the table as though the others were monsters, demons, or carriers of despicable diseases. Ho, on the other hand missed nothing. He missed no variation in light or nuance in the buzz of the hall, and was most likely the most observant man alive. Caught in the struggle between two mad men, he had been taught fast how to watch others and most importantly, watch for watchers. He hadn't needed to be taught how to stay on guard, abuse does things to a brain that leave it unable of not being aware of and prepared for any possible outcome. He had been honed, filed to a fine point, and now was watching both leaders of this struggle between good and evil, and, most ironically, two future pawns, destined to be on opposite side of a line drawn long ago, thousands of years past, in a time of darkness when the four founders forged this institution.
Severus had surrendered his life into stronger hands. He had gone to two purportedly wise men to give the ultimate power o him, body and soul. He hadn't wanted free will. He still had no use for it. He just wanted a mind numbing existence toiling for the great good. He need not have fame or glory, just a light heart and a pride in his accomplishments. On this boldly bright day, spent still in shadow, he felt he may have succeeded a little to well. He was so despised that he was left nothing. Slytherins who were destined to grovel before his masters feet, and potentially his as well, now shunned and bullied him to the point of leaving his common room. The Gryffindor Bunch, self sworn to join the fight and defend the weak and needy everywhere, harmed him at every turn, the most needy and the only one that was doing anything to help Dumbledore and the cause.
He was synonymous with hate to both sides of this war, a rag doll that neither side want but that will be pulled apart nonetheless in an attempt for it to never be seen in the enemy's hands. He could feel his seems busting, a slow pop that he just recently recognized for its true meaning. He decided if he would be pulled apart it would be only after he made sure someone would know him well enough to remember him as something more than a being to despise, or a target to practice on.
The realization that he wanted something more only struck him fully when the glance of Remus passed on from Lucius and into his eyes. He saw in those eyes a light almost akin to concern. He was greeted with a sign near to caring when he had expected revulsion because of who he was and hate because of what he stole. He found a Lupin that, while not as friendly as one would want was much better than Severus had even dared to hope for.
Students began to file out but the recently realized as lonely Slytherin stayed. He didn't wish to remain because Lupin was still here, he just didn't want to return to the dungeons yet. Potions was the only time that he had need of returning to this sad place. He didn't want to go from the light and bright hall until he absolutely had to. He knew if he arrived in the hall outside the classroom to early he would be beaten, regardless of whether or not the culprits would be caught. With the detentions they would still be regaled as heroes in the Slytherin camp and a few nights cleaning trophies couldn't dissuade them from the hunt.
Snape looked terribly unhappy from where Remus sat. He was alone and fro once Remus thought he might actually mind the incredible amount of solitude he was given. Remus cherished alone times in his runs and baths. He wasn't even really alone then because during a run he planned his many charges for the day and in his luxurious bubble baths he often found himself unable to focus on anything but his many forays into public service.
Remus was forever reminded how fortunate he was to have been taken in by these guys. He didn't complain about the work or the stress because in was better than the constant stress of being alone. It was unbearable. Every respite left him more drained than he had started. He needed the occupation to stop the cogs in his ceaseless brain from churning up his true feelings about his own human condition.
Snape, the peer he most worried for, had none of what he needed to stay sane. He most likely bore the same psychological scars as Remus with out the mitigating factors such as the love of his friends and the loveliness of being needed. He was always plaguing Remus' mind with guilt. Why had he, Remus, made friends? Why had he been gifted the opportunity of Gryffindor instead of the cold halls of Slytherin? No doubt Remus would be a different man if he had been forced to survive in the snake pit with out any preparation and with what was invariably still open wounds. Both Remus and Snape festered under the surface with pain and self loathing. Why had Remus been granted an out?
He felt the need to get to potions early. He needed time to steel his nerves before he had to brew and deal with Snape. Others pain never bothered Remus, except for the pain of Severus because unlike others he went threw it so completely and totally alone. It hurt Remus to see the life he could have led if he had been sorted into Slytherin. If the guys hadn't chosen to care for him. If Dumbledore hadn't let him come to Hogwarts at all.
He told the guys, Sirius mostly, that he would be going down to potions. Sirius jumped to go with his friend and was quickly followed by James and Peter. They never liked to leave Remus alone, but after the note, both Sirius and James were a little jumpy and the feelings of love turned to over protection in an instant.
Once Remus had left Severus hurried to follow. Lupin was undoubtedly one of the marauders, but he also would most likely prevent any full out beatings, and with as delicate as his pride was at that moment, he just couldn't care enough to risk a series of painful injuries from his housemates.
I appreciate the reviews you guys. Lots of people have veiwed my story and though I would love a review from all of you, I love you whether you review or not.