"But she seems to be changed," one of the soldiers, who Kenna recognized as Trevin, protested.
"Do Sith ever change?" the other man demanded.
"You're essentially saying she's beyond redemption and this is just an act to lull us into complacency, Arrik. I think her being redeemed makes far more sense," Trevin insisted. "You didn't meet her like I did."
"Please, Trev," Arrik scoffed. "You only talked to her for what, a minute? It's very easy to pretend to be something for a minute."
"Why are you so determined to not believe her?" Trevin demanded. "Besides, Captain Onasi sure seems to trust her, and you know he doesn't trust just anyone."
"Because I know what the Sith are like. My family lived on Telos. They all died when the Sith attacked. My parents, my sister, my nephew, everyone I knew. And we should just forget everything horrible she put the galaxy through because she said she's sorry? Forgive me if I'm a little slow to be willing to do that. I'd rather put a blaster to her head and pull the trigger," Arrik spat.
She couldn't listen any more. Kenna bit back the threatening tears--and rage--and slipped away, circling to the opposite side of the Temple from the celebration. She found a reasonably clean chunk of rubble and perched on it, hugging her knees against her chest. She stared off into the distance as she wrestled with her thoughts. After everything I've done to try and atone for my past crimes, people still hate me. My past is always going to hang over my head, no matter what I do. But Telos wasn't my fault. It wasn't.
His conversation with the Admiral finished, Carth tried to find Kenna. She seemed to have disappeared.
"Where's your other half?" Mission teased, catching him off-guard.
He shrugged. "I don't know. I can't find her anywhere."
"My advice would be to look where there are no other people. Maybe she remembered something else from her past and needed to be alone," the Twi'lek suggested.
"You might be right."
"Want me to help?" she offered.
Carth shook his head. "Thanks for the offer, but you can stay here. I know you're having fun."
" 'Kay." Mission disappeared back into the throng as Carth made his way through the crowd under he finally slipped free. Figuring she couldn't have gone far, he circled the Temple until he found her.
"Kenna, what's wrong?" He had never seen her looking so forlorn.
"Nothing. I…just needed to think."
"Why don't I believe you?" He sat down next to her. Kenna shifted position, leaning back against his shoulder and letting her legs hang down.
"I guess you know me too well," she said softly. They were both quiet for a long moment before she spoke again. "I overheard two soldiers talking. One of them was saying he didn't think…Revan could ever be redeemed. That Sith never change. His whole family died on Telos, and he wants to know why everyone's willing to forgive me just because I said I was sorry." The words came out in a painful, bitter rush. "No matter what I do, there's always going to be people who only care about all the evil Revan did."
"First, beautiful, you've done more than just say you were sorry. If he said that, he was ridiculously simplifying matters. You spent months flying all over the galaxy, risked your life more than once--which I try not to think about--and rejected the dark side at least three times over. What more can you do?" He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a gentle squeeze.
"Honestly? I think some people would like me to kill myself."
"No." His voice went tight.
"Relax, Carth, I won't do that," she assured him, snuggling in closer.
"And someone needs to have a talk with this soldier if he blames you for Telos. That was Malak, as Canderous was so quick to point out when I tried that same tact," Carth reminded her, not missing the irony of the situation. "And obviously you could be redeemed, and Sith can change." Kenna nodded, but she still looked miserable. He sighed. "What aren't you telling me?"
"He…he also said he'd rather…put a blaster t-to Revan's head and pull the trigger," she whispered so quietly he barely heard her.
That stung. Enough that Carth actually winced. How did he reply to that, considering he'd said almost the exact same thing on Tatooine? "He doesn't know what he's talking about. And neither did I," he tacked on the end when he felt her on the verge of saying something. "He needs to give you a chance."
Kenna turned and smiled at him. "What would I do without you?"
"If I have any say, you'll never have to find out. I plan on sticking to you like a shadow for the rest of your life." He kissed her.
"No matter what?"
"No matter what," he promised. "I love you."
Kenna felt like giggling. "I love you, too. No matter what. I'm not going anywhere, ever," she promised. They sat for a moment before she spoke up again. "Hey, Carth?"
"What, beautiful?"
"Why'd Admiral Dodonna smile at you like she did when she gave you your medal?"
He chuckled. "Inside joke. She was in command of my unit for part of the Mandalorian Wars. We fought several pretty intense battles while she was in charge, and she used to tease me about all medals I was awarded. After the fourth or fifth one she ask me if I had enough or if I was going to keep trying until I had a Cross of Glory."
Kenna laughed. "Oh. Guess she got her answer. What did she want to talk to you about?"
He sighed. "I wish I could tell you. She swore me to secrecy for the time being."
"Oh." She shifted slightly and Carth could tell she was hurt.
"Sorry, beautiful. I'll tell you soon as she lets me," he promised.
"Is it something about me?" Kenna demanded, turning to look at him.
"No. That much I can tell you. It, uh, it might affect you, but it was not about you." He kissed her cheek. "Nothing to worry about, I promise."
"Sorry to nag. I know how I must sound." Kenna gave him an apologetic smile.
"You don't have to apologize, Kenna. It is kind of odd, an Admiral dragging me off to speak in private. However," he teased, "if you feel too bad about it, I'm sure I can think of a way for you to make it up." He laughed as Kenna turned pure scarlet all the way up her ears.
She swatted his arm playfully. "Carth Onasi, you are a bad, bad man."
"I just meant a kiss, beautiful." He laughed again at her expression. "You have a dirty mind for a Jedi, you know that?"
"Ugh, don't say the 'J' word, please. I have to meet with the surviving Masters eventually. No way I'll be able to hide my feelings well enough that they won't sense something."
"And?" He had a feeling he knew where this was going.
"And they may make me choose." Kenna shifted nervously, and Carth didn't need Jedi abilities to tell she was uncomfortable with this turn in the conversation. "Choose be-between you and my status as a Jedi." She looked up at him, saw the worry clouding his face, and finished, "I hope they don't."
"Why?" he asked guardedly. Here it comes…
"I'll feel awfully guilty leaving the Order when there's still so much to do."
"You would actually--"
"Leave the Jedi? If they wanted me to give you up, yes, in half a heartbeat. I know they say love interferes with our duty, but I…I love you so much losing you might… kill me." The words came in a halting rush; it was harder to tell him how she felt than to pour out her feelings to Mission.
His response was to kiss her with ferociously tender passion.
It seemed the only natural thing to do. He had known the topic would come up. Simple matter of reality, it had to. And Carth had been prepared to lose out to Kenna's duty as Guardian of the freshly rescued Republic. The Jedi would need her; he couldn't and wouldn't ask her to forsake the whole galaxy for him. Mostly because he knew if he did ask, she would do it. He had been a soldier far too long to not know the importance of duty. Duty came before personal feelings. Always, no matter what. But she was willing to give that up for him. What did I do to deserve her?
Kenna smiled at him impishly when they finally separated. "What was that for?"
He rolled his eyes and sighed in mock exasperation. "Because you are absolutely without a doubt the most amazing woman in the galaxy and I love you with my whole heart. That work for you?"
"Mm-hm." She nodded, looking extremely contented as she snuggled closer. "Wow, no interruption. No Mission looking for her pazaak deck, or Canderous…being Canderous."
"Disappointed?" Carth teased.
"Absolutely and most definitely not." She kissed him back, turning to slide one hand up behind his neck. They both went longer than would be thought possible without breathing before reluctantly pulling apart. Kenna slid over until she was sitting in Carth's lap and rested her head on his chest. "So, having saved the galaxy, what do we do now?"
Carth pretended to think about that for a second. "Well, first of all, beautiful, I think you should marry me."
Her heart skipped a beat. Did he really just say that? "Wh-what?" Kenna managed, voice barely above a whisper, not believing she'd heard him right.
She felt the chuckle rumble in his chest as he held her closer. "You heard me. I want to marry you."
"Really?" She looked up at him with a stunned smile. "Even with everything in my past? Everything I caused?" Despite everything Revan did, you still love me enough to marry me?
"Kenna, when I said no matter what, I meant it. You still haven't answered. Will you marry me?"
Her heart pounding, she smiled and replied, "Yes."
He tried not to show how relieved he was. He hadn't been planning to ask her that yet. It just felt…right, for some reason, to do it now rather than later. "Good. I'm glad."
She looked up at him, startled. "Wait, you were actually afraid I would say no?"
"The thought crossed my mind," he admitted reluctantly. "Silly, I know. But you know how I like to worry."
"True. That's one of the things I love the most about you, while also driving me crazy the fastest."
"You mean you weren't crazy already?" Carth teased, laughing and grabbing her arm when she attempted to playfully slap him. "Nice try, beautiful."
"Fine. I just won't kiss you for a while." Kenna turned her back toward him.
"Do you really want to try that?" he whispered, lightly brushing her ear with his lips as he did. Kenna flushed bright red at the touch. "I think that might punish you as much as me."
I hate it when he's right! Kenna groaned. "You do know how to torture a woman, you know that?" she muttered as she turned back to her previous position.
"Well, then this will make it even worse. We probably should get back to the celebration. Before they get worried, send a search party, and ruin our moment."
"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when you're right?" Kenna stood.
"Yes, I do believe you have."
She pulled him to his feet. "Come on. If we're going back there, we might as well get it over with."
He laughed as he let her haul him up. "After you."
"None of that," Kenna scolded playfully, looping her arm around his waist. "I know you don't like all the attention, but do it--"
"If you say 'for me' I will throw you in the ocean when we head back to the Hawk," Carth threatened. "I'm not kidding."
"Reeeeally?" She raised one eyebrow. "In that case," she smiled sweetly, "For me?"
"When will I learn?" Carth wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they headed back to the crowd.
"Hopefully never. It's fun to tease you."
"And why is that?" He kissed the side of her head.
"You take it in stride so well. Y'know, like the time on Taris I called you an ungrateful monkey-lizard and you just laughed at me and asked if that was my idea of an insult."
"It wasn't much of an insult, beautiful. Where did you even get that from?"
Kenna shook her head. "I have no idea."
"I do have to admit, 'drooling Bomarr cast-off' was a good one." Carth laughed when Kenna blushed. "But I think my personal favorite was either 'hairless Wookiee' or 'handsome thug'."
"Yes, I thought you liked that one," Kenna teased, "Though if my memory serves correctly, you weren't too keen on the thug part."
Their arrival back at the celebration forestalled Carth's retort.
Ah, mush... It's so fun to lay it on thick. :) I am having way too much fun writing this story, thanks for indulging me...