Chapter 8

I wok up in da norses office surrunded by a bunch of blak baloons wif red pentagons on them. Luna Lovegud was shitting in a char next 2 mah bed. She wuz wearing a black lether dress wif lots of sexah straps. Her hare was in 4 pigtales instead of 2.

"Wut happened? Wheres Voldymort?" I osked drearily. I wuz only waring a hospilte gown, but I also had white makup and blak ihadow and maksera. Luna had put it on mah face wen I wuz alseep.

"U were shot by Vladimort!" she told me sadly. "But u stupped the bullot b4 it hit Enoby, Drako, and Vampier. Ur a fuking hero! Voldidork ran away aftewards."

"Awsum!" I exclamed goffikly. I loked at Looneys eyes. She looked lik a goffik fairey sominatrix. Suddenly me and Looney bgan 2 kiss on the bed. She took off mah gown and I tuk off her dress and I put my glock in2 her wetness and we did it rite there.

"Oh! Oh! OHHH! OYNX!" she shooted as she had an organism. Suddenly, Pofresor McGoogle came.

"Wut r u doing, u vial delinquents!" she shooted madly. "Im gonna get da principle and-" suddenly, the prepy techer was warped up in chains from a spell. Suddenly, a goffik teacher in a lowcut blak dress came. It wuz... Profresor Sinistra!

"Dont worri!" she shed. "McGonoagla, wont say anything now!"

"Fangz!" I exclamed as I orgasmd in Lunar. "But I fought u h8ed us!"

"Wel, u saved Enoby, so u must b a goff!" she sed. Suddenly, Vamprire, Draco, and Enoby came. Vampire was wearing wut he was wering erlier.

"OH MI FUKING SATAN!" Ebony bluted sexily, "U SAVED MAH FUJKING LIFE!" she was wering a blak corset, blak coumbat boots wif red fishets and blak skort, and wite makeup wif black mascera, ileniar, and libstick.

"Yea, u and Loony must be a goffs," Drako agred. He wus wearing a Simpel Plan tshit, black leter jeans, congress shoes, and makup like enoby;s.

"We got u a gift!" Vampire sad, as he gave me a box warped in blak gift rap with red pentagrams. It had a dvd of the hunan centipede inside.

"Aw, fangz!" I replied. We all gut up from the bed and went 2 the comman room where Dracolo, Diabolo Wisley, Darkness, Willo, and B'loody Mary Smith were w8ing. We watched the flim and laffed at all da sadist stuff.

"Onix, y dont u like me?" Ebony aksed.

"I liek u, just not like dat," I explaned depressedly. "But Draco likes u. U shiud totally go out wif him!"

"Ok, I will!" she sed sexially. She and Dragon began to makeout while me and Luna frenched along wif B'Lody Mary and Diablo. Vampoire looked at us jelusly.

After the film ended, I went 2 my room and saw my fone had a missd call from Offello. I called him bak.

"Hello, Onyx?" Minister Othello asked. "Did you find the source of Ebony's power yet?"

"Go 2 hell, u fuking prep!" I roored. "I like it here! They no lunger think ima prep, and im In luve wif lana livegood."

"What!" Othello shouted over the phone. "You can't be starting romantic relationships in the past! You'll mess up the time-line even more!"

"I dunt care if the world implods!" I yielded."I like it here beter than da future. I BELONG HERE! Bsides, if I kill ebony, Vlodemort will not die!"

"That's a risk we're willing to take!" Othello stated."But you are not fit for this task. I demand that you return to the future immediately!"

"NO! Fuk u homo!" I scremed as I hung up the phon. Suddenly, ther was a knok on thedoor. Lunar came in.

"Hey fucker," she sed seductivly. "Can I stay da knight?

"Sure Luna," I sed suicidally. We went into my coffin and screwed summore until we fell asleep.