A/N: Hey everyone. Just letting you know that these chapters aren't in a vaguely linear series. They'll all over the place. The last was obviously before "Ariel" and this one is after "The Message". None will come after "Serenity: The Movie". Also if you review, feel free to put forward you suggestions for the next duo. Thanks for reading.

P.S. Yes. it is a Holy Grail reference. Yes I'm pathetic.

TWO

'For the last time, no!'

Shepherd Book stormed into the kitchen in a vain attempt to end the conversation. Jayne followed, almost stepping on Book's heels.

'C'om Preacher! It's yer job ain't it?'

Book snorted 'My job?'

'Yeah!' Jayne counted on his fingers. 'Wash pilots, Kaylee fixes, Inara…'

Book held up his hands. 'I am quite aware what Inara does.' Jayne looked disappointed that he wouldn't have the joy of going into detail.

'… And you're a Shepherd! So do something Shepherdy damn it!'

'"Something Shepherdy," as you so eloquently put it, does not include blessing your semi-automatic.' said Book rolling his eyes in a highly unchristian manner.

Jayne stroked the gun around his neck in an almost romantic fashion. 'Callahan full-bore auto lock with customized trig…'

'I don't care, I'm not doing it.'

'Why not!' cried Jayne 'With all the miracles Vera has pulled off fer me she just begging to be sanctified.'

Book lent his knuckles on the table. 'Really? And would any of these said miracles involve mowing down other human beings in a gratuitous fashion?'

Jayne fiddled with his cunning hat. 'Occasionally.' he mumbled.

Book nodded. 'I see. Good day.' Book made a move towards the door Jayne blocked him off.

'Please, Shepherd!'

'Jayne, on occasion people have said that I have a more liberal take on the bible than some of my brethren.' The Shepherd glanced around the ship, 'And considering the company I keep, I am inclined to agree with them. But I'm afraid I'm somewhat of a traditionalist on certain subjects like, for instance, not killing people.'

'Aw, be fair Preacher! They're mostly trying to kill me first.' Book silently took note of the word mostly. 'And I remember all those bible stories my mother used to tell me when I was young. None of them bible-heroes exactly had lily white hands.'

'That's different.' The shepherd somehow managed to make his voice even lower than usual. Jayne sneered at the Preacher's ruffled feathers.

'Yeah? How so?'

'They were doing it in the Lords name. Fighting oppressors, protecting their nation, taking back what was rightfully theirs. While none of them were perfect men, they were all trying to glorify God. You're doing it so you can get paid with ill-gotten gains.' Book crossed his arms 'Hardly makes you a holy warrior now, does it Jayne?'

Jayne slammed his fist on the table. 'I'm not asking yer to make me a gorram holy warrior, am I? I just want yer to work yer mojo on Vera.'

Book tapped his lip. 'Why is that Jayne?' I haven't seen you express an interest in...' Book coughed '"my mojo" before.'

Jayne's eyes narrowed 'So? What of it?'

Book pulled out the nearest chair and actually sat at the table. 'Nothing of it. I'm just curious to know where this burning desire for divine weaponry came from.'

Jayne fidgeted. Book smiled and gestured at the chair next to him. Jayne looked at the door then back at Book. He sighed and sat stiffly next to Book.

'Okay. Fine. But, Preacher or no Preacher, if yer breathe a word of this to anyone, you, me and Vera are going to have a little conversation.'

Book nodded in what he hoped was a serious manner. 'Understood. Just between us three. And the Lord, of course.'

Jayne's eyebrows knotted together. His chair squeaked as he lent closer to Book.

'Look. We've been finding ourselves inna lot of trouble or recent. More trouble than usual with them Tamms on board, and then there was that thing with that dead solider, who wasn't dead, but then ended up dead…'

'I was there Jayne.'

'Oh yeah. Right. course. I mean I'm used to trouble. I've always been in trouble; I've caused a lot of trouble. But in the last few months I've been shot more times than I had before, as well as an assortment of zappings, punchings, and beatings. It's got me a-thinking.' Book tried to keep a straight face at the thought of Jayne thinking. 'I'm only getting older. I'll get slower and slower until some piece of gossa – sorry Preacher – takes me out fer good. Or gets me so mangled that Doctor Prettyboy can't stitch me back together right and Mal dumps my useless ass on some dusty outer-rim moon.'

Jayne scratched at the table with his fingernail. Book wiped his chin. He knew why it was so important for Jayne not to get taken out of the game. 'How's Matty?'

Jayne sniffed, ignoring the question. 'So by my reasoning, I figure its best not to get hit.' He gave a grin and held up Vera. 'And what better way not to get hit that to hit them first?'

Shepherd gave an appeasing nod. 'And you think that having… Vera blessed will help protected you.

Jayne shrugged. 'Honestly, I don't hold much stock in yer little brown book, Preacher. But I figure if there is something out there it couldn't do much harm to ask fer help.'

Book bowed his head a little. Jayne held out Vera in a vaguely pathetic way. Book slowly lean forward and pulled off Jayne's hat.

'Hey! What the he…'

'I bless this knitted headwear in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit,' chanted Book, doing the sign of the cross. 'May the Lord bless the head it sits on and keep it safe from harm. Amen.'

Book passes the hat back to Jayne, who took it gently in both hands. His face was too small for his grin. Suddenly he leapt up off the table and burst through the door, yelling back something about having to write to his mother. The Shepherd clicked his tongue.

'Blessing semi-automatics. What next? A holy hand grenade?