A/N: This one goes out to Marshpelt and RionaEire who gave great critical reviews for my last one. This is pre-series but you probably should see "Out Of Gas" before reading this one if you don't want minor spoilers. While I think that Inara is a very talented and educated lady I doubt that they thaught her how to fly a shuttle in, as Mal would put it "Whore School." Thus it would probably fall on one of the crew to give her instructions and who better than Wash. Well... at least that's what you'd think.

INARA AND WASH

The Buddha once said "He is able who thinks he is able." If this theory was correct Inara should have been able to pilot her new shuttle on the first go without crashing it into the surface of a secluded little moon.

That's the trouble with theories. They are logical in retrospect but they rarely pan out in real life. For instance Wash had an unconscious theory that Inara was incapable of swearing, just like how the blind are physically unable to see. She was profanity impaired. However as the companion let forth a cascade of curses in English, Chinese and a few other languages Wash didn't recognise, he had to agree that theory totally and completely wrong. Inara's swearing was fluid, passionate and almost lyrical. Wash was, for lack of a better term, in awe.

As Inara's swearing drew to a crescendo and then to a close she finished it with 'The Captain is going to kill me for this isn't he?'

Wash thought for a moment. "Yes. Yes he is."

Inara thumped her fist against the control panel, pulling off such an action with a surprising amount of elegance.

'Hoban...' she began but Wash cringed.

'Wash, please. Call me Wash,' he pleaded. Inara started again.

'Wash, I want you to know that, while you seem like a nice guy, you are a dreadful teacher.'

'What? I said pull up!'

'I thought you meant on that lever!'

'Oh you mean the one that says "DO NOT TOUCH! EMERGENCIES ONLY"?'

'Well forgive me but hurtling towards the ground at a thousand miles an hour seemed like an emergency.'

'It wouldn't have been an emergency if you had pulled up!'

The two of them glared at each other. They hadn't known each other long but Wash had never seen Inara as anything less than serine (unless she was talking to the captain). Like-wise Inara had only ever experienced Wash's laid back and cheerful side. On the other side of the wind-screen steam was beginning to furl from one of the pod's engines.

'What do you'll think he'll do?' she asked looking down at the dashboard. When she had rented the shuttle from Mal a little over a week ago he seemed so very proud, very defensive of her. And now she had gone and destroyed part of it.

Wash shrugged. 'How should I know? I've only worked for the man for three months.'

'I only met him a week ago. Only a week and I've already crashed his shuttle.' Inara let her head fall into her open hands. 'He's going to throw me off the ship, isn't he? He's going to hand me back my safety deposit and throw me off the ship.

'Actually,' said Wash's brain before his mouth could stop it, 'the deposit was meant to cover any damages so...'

Inara groaned. Wash hesitated before giving her shoulder an awkward pat.

'It's okay.' he said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. 'I was the one teaching you how to fly the thing, remember? If anyone is going to be left job-less and penniless on an outer-rim planet it's going to be me. You're a compainion. That's why the captain chose you, right? To open doors for him? You're like... you're like the ships' ambassador.'

Inara couldn't help but laugh. 'And here I thought I had heard every euphemism for my profession. You're wrong of course. A companion may be handy to have aboard ones' ship but I'm inclined to think a pilot is less dispensable.'

'Not one who can't teach someone to pilot a basic shuttle.' Wash sniffed. 'Plus Zoe, the captain's first mate has it in for me. I have no idea why.'

'She's attracted to you.' Inara's voice was so dead-pan Wash did a double take.

'What? No she isn't.'

'Believe me, I can tell. She's probably a little disquieted about it after being a solider for so long; wanting to distance herself from any personal attachments after losing so many of her comrades. It's a self preservation tool.' Her voice was clinical as though she reading from a psychology journal. Her manner put Wash off, but in a strange way made him want to ask more questions.

'You think so?'

'I do.' Inara said with a slight smile. 'Or she dislikes your moustache. Either one.'. Wash's hand reflexively reached up to touch it.

There was a burst of static from the radio and then a scratchy version for Mal's voice.

Wash? You there? Zoe and I were finishing up business on Ishtar when we heard that here have been a whole lot of scavenger skirmishes in your area. You need to get back to the ship now!

Wash gave Inara a quick glance before picking up the receiver.

'Actually Captain...' he said slowly 'I think your warning came a bit late...'