What if he had hurt her or worse I would have never forgiven myself . Yes I was her T.O. and she was my rookie but we both knew that there was always more than a partnership between us I guess that is why I have been so distant and angry… because even though I know that that sociopath didn't touch her THANK YOU GOD I still feel sick to my stomach knowing that I Sam Swarek put my precious Andy McNally's life in danger but being able to be with her and hold her in my arms three weeks ago was worth being tortured by Jamie Brennan . If it meant keeping my Andy safe … I know that I have been distant and angry and have not been telling her everything I don't mean to but that is because I want to spare her pain of having to picture me being tortured because then she would think it was her fault and she would never forgive herself for putting me in danger but I know that as long as we have each other we can get through anything this is just a tiny bump in our " relationship road"