Chapter 13

À La Recherche Du Temps Perdu

What's this blue carpet under my feet? And what's that black grass? Where am I? Why am I lying down? Why can't I stand up? Am I even wearing a fez at all? What about my bowtie? I can't move either of my arms. Wait, I don't have any arms! This is either a very crazy dream or the worst regeneration ever! No… I remember now.

That's cool. I've always wanted to be a beetle. Well, a Beatle, but this is close enough. This must be the back of Jack's head I'm staring at. That's weird. Never thought I'd find myself in this position. Wait 'til River hears about this. She's probably heard already. When am I anyway? I can't say. This beetle must be on Jack's back for the entire span of this timeline, maintaining the paradox. If I could just get a better look around… Hmm, how to move my legs?

Whoa! I've got to be careful. If I fall off, I'll be stuck in limbo forever. Okay, one leg up, and then the back leg, and another. I could get used to this. It's actually quite fun. Oh, what am I talking about? This is the worst plan ever. There isn't even a plan! Let's just focus on the climbing for now. A bit more and I can see what's in front of him. There!

This looks like Cardiff. Who's that woman? She's pointing a gun at Jack. No, no, no, no…

That was not cool! Wait, this isn't Cardiff. When did we move? What's that coming towards us? Oh, right, Jack told me about this. Stray javelin.

So, I'm cycling through his deaths. Of course, the time beetle feeds on temporal changes. This paradox makes every death a source of great power. What's that on the screen? Is that a bomb? I am so not going to enjoy this.

"I'll come back," said Jack to Ianto. "I always do." And then he exploded.

Phew! I almost lost my grip there. The deaths don't seem to be in any particular order. Maybe I can steer through the timeline to a point of divergence. Now how does the beetle move through its own time again? Ah yes, point and think. But in which direction? Whoa! Let's see now… That's it! Malcassairo in the year 100 trillion. Jack's getting electrocuted.

Now to move even further back… What's this? Who are these people? All that blood! I don't even want to know. Back, back, back, trampled by horses, back, back, broken bottle, that's awful, back, shot through the heart. Stop, that's Ellis Island, which means… Only one more death to go back to. Now I have a plan. Hello, Daleks.