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OwlheadAthena: So would I! XD Thanks for reading!
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Chapter One: In Which Parts Are Offered
It was a bright and sunny morning in Bikini Bottom. The water was warm, the scallops chirped and people walked around town, glad to be alive.
Squidward Tentacles was not one of these people.
He stood at the cash register in the Krusty Krab, gazing longingly outside.
"Such a beautiful day," he sighed, "And I'm stuck here wasting my life."
"I know, isn't it great!" grinned Spongebob, leaning out from the kitchen, "Ah, I love working…"
"Don't you have something to be doing?" demanded Squidward.
The door opened, and Patrick walked into the restaurant. Squidward heaved a heavy sigh.
"Good morning!" he called, walking up to the counter.
"What do you want?" demanded Squidward.
"Oh, nothing, I just came here to talk to Spongebob," replied Patrick, "How's it going?"
"Oh, I'm great!" grinned Spongebob, cheerily, "Just having fun shut up in work!"
Squidward banged his head on the cash register.
"I was gonna go jellyfishing!" said Patrick, producing his net, "Out there! In the sun! You wanna come?"
Squidward banged his head again.
"I can't, I've still got…seven hours left at work," replied Spongebob (Squidward banged his head again), "Maybe later."
"OK, see you later!" grinned Patrick, walking out the door.
Squidward sighed.
"Is anyone else going to remind me of what I could be doing right now?"
The door flung open. A man in a white suit strode up to the counter.
"Good morning, Mr. Cashier," he nodded, "Fine day, isn't it?"
Squidward gave an aggravated yell and stormed out the door.
The man blinked, but shrugged and glanced in the kitchen window.
"My boy," he asked, "Can you locate your boss for me? I have a proposition for him that may earn him some money..."
There was a crash, and Mr. Krabs crashed through the door of his office.
"Money?" he quizzed, excitedly.
"That's right," nodded the man, handing Mr. Krabs a leaflet, "I have plans to hold a performance of a play at Lindbergh Elementary in Retroville."
"Hey, that's where Jimmy goes to school!" exclaimed Spongebob.
"An interesting coincidence," the man shrugged, "Anyway, I need someone to organize ticket sales – to make sure they are sold to as many people as possible. I want a substantial audience."
Mr. Krabs didn't catch the smirk on the man's face as he read the leaflet he'd been given.
"...I get fifty percent of the money from selling 'em?" he exclaimed.
"I'm a rewarding man," nodded the man.
"I'm in!" agreed Mr. Krabs, shaking the man's hand, "I'll start selling right away!"
"Very good," said the man, satisfied, "I was intending to ask that squid to be costume director, but..."
Squidward raced back in the door, skidding to a halt in from of the man and bowing.
"You have found your talent," he sniffed.
"...good," nodded the man, slightly taken aback, "Very good."
"Ooh, ooh, what can I do?" asked Spongebob, excitedly.
Squidward rolled his eyes.
"Please," he sneered, "You don't honestly think you have the talent to take part in this?"
He began to laugh, and Spongebob's face fell.
"Ignore Mr. Tentacles, son," snapped the man, "I do, in fact, have a job for you...you are my personal pick for the lead role."
Squidward stopped laughing and began to choke.
"Really?" asked Spongebob, hopefully.
"Why certainly," replied the man, "I had heard of your personality by word of mouth in Retroville..."
"You mean from one of Jimmy's friends?"
"The spiky-haired one," nodded the man, "As I was saying, I feel you are perfect for the role."
Squidward blinked, as if he thought he was seeing things.
"Anyway, auditions are tonight," finished the man, "I hope to see you all there. Good day."
He tipped his hat and walked away.
"Did you hear that, Squidward?" grinned Spongebob, "I'm gonna be an actor! And we all get to make a play together! This is like some sort of a dream, except I'm awake! Oh, I gotta tell Pat..."
He laughed his signature laugh, and ran out the door.
"This play is going to bomb, isn't it?" sighed Squidward.
"That may be an understatement," Mr. Krabs sighed back.
"Doesn't this strike you a little odd?" asked Danny, looking over the play leaflet, "I mean, why Spongebob? You've never even acted before..."
Spongebob, Jimmy, Timmy, Danny and the fairies were sitting in Jimmy's lab, in front of the VOX screen. Spongebob had wasted no time in telling his friends about the play, but the others were not as happy as he was.
"I was in Mr. Krabs' commercial!" reminded Spongebob.
"...that doesn't count," sighed Timmy.
"I'm just suspicious," shrugged Danny, "I mean, some guy we've never met asks for you – you specifically – to be the lead role in the play when you've never acted before. Doesn't that sound a bit weird to you?"
"Nope," grinned Spongebob, "He said he heard about me from Jimmy's friends!"
Mentally, Jimmy reminded himself to have a talk to Carl and Sheen about that.
"Well," he mused, "I did hear Principal Willoughby talk about it – and by that I mean yell it over the microphone – so I know it's real...maybe this guy is just a theatre director who took a shining to Spongebob."
"See, Jimmy believes in me!" noted Spongebob.
"Yeah, but forgive me if I'm a bit suspicious about people giving gifts to my friends," snapped Danny, "We all know what happened when Timmy did that..."
"That was months ago!" shouted Timmy.
"You're never gonna live that down, y'know," interrupted Cosmo.
"Not helping," snapped Timmy.
"You know what?" grumbled Spongebob, losing patience, "I reckon you're all jealous..."
"We're not," replied Wanda, soothingly, "We're just a bit worried about you – we'd be pretty poor friends if we didn't."
"Yeah, and to make sure nothing happens, we're sending Timmy to the auditions as well!" added Jimmy, smirking.
"What?" demanded Timmy.
"Hey, if anything goes wrong and this guy is actually evil, Spongebob might need backup," replied Danny, snickering a little, "And besides, maybe this is your calling..."
"You're all horrible people, you know that?" groaned Timmy.
Danny and Jimmy grinned at each other.
"Aw, thanks guys," exclaimed Spongebob, smiling, "You're the best multi-dimensional friends a sponge could have!"
Behind them, hidden in shadows, a small beetle gazed on at the Nicktoons. It crawled into a hole – and beeped, shutting down.
In a dark chamber, underneath an old factory, Crocker looked at a TV screen, watching it repeat the conversation.
"I think they're on to you," he warned.
The Man in the White Suit chuckled, sitting at a desk.
"I'd be worried about them if they weren't," he nodded.
"But if they find out who you are," snapped Crocker, "They'll find out I'm working with you, and then I'll never get my hands on Turner's FAIRY! GO-"
The man stood up, knocking his desk over with a crash. His eyes glowed red and he pointed at Crocker.
"Don't. Ever. Do that in my presence again," he growled.
Crocker stopped spasming, and shielded his head behind his arms, terrified. The man towered over him, blood-red eyes glowing with rage.
"I do not gladly suffer fools," he growled, "Remember that, Denzel Crocker."
He turned, and strode through a shadowed doorway, leaving Crocker alone.
What a wonderful person.