THE FORGIVENESS ONLY SHE CAN GIVE.
Chapter Three: Her Story Begins.
Bella's POV.
"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength."
"Wake up, my precious girl," I heard my husband coo and he tenderly removed my hair from my face.
"No," I said petulantly as I wrapped myself tightly into the covers and buried myself deeper into the plush bedding.
"No, Isabella." Jake chuckled above me. "It's already eight-thirty and we have to be at your parents' home at ten."
"Well, I can still have at least half an hour more to sleep," I said but my words were muffled by the fact that I had covered my head with a pillow.
"No, you can not sleep for another half an hour because it will take me half an hour to get you up. Then, we will be insanely late." Jacob said as his head now joined mine under the pillow.
"Hello wife," he said softly as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
"Hello husband," I said softly as I traced his face with my index finger.
Closing his eyes, Jake captured my left hand in his before pulling us up so that we were lying with our heads on the pillow and not under it. Quickly, he positioned us so that he was seated with his back pressed against the headboard and I was draped across his chest. For a while, neither of us said anything as we simply enjoyed the slice of heaven we had created for ourselves in this moment.
"Talk to me, Bella." I heard Jacob say as he kissed my hair.
"Today is the day, Jake." I said softly as I drew random patterns across his chest.
"I know." He said softly; silently urging me to continue.
"I don't…" I started to say before Jacob silenced me.
"If you were planning on telling me that you cannot do this then you are seriously insane. Isabella, when I met you I saw someone who was walking on the edge and on the night that I first saw you, I knew that it would not take much to send you over the edge but when I told you that I was willing to help you and to get you the help you needed to fight, you said yes and you fought. Baby girl, you fought and came back from where many people said that there was no return. So don't you dare tell me that you can't because we both know that you can." Jake said with so much emotion that tears began to stream down my face.
"God! I love you." I said before I kissed him with all the love and passion I held for him.
"Mr. and Mrs. Black," I heard Leah say in a sing-song voice on the other side of the door, "Stop making kissy faces or else you'll be late." She said with a giggle effectively cutting threw the romantic mood.
"I hate you, Leah!" I growled loud enough for her to hear which caused her to snort.
"No you don't! Plus the kids are missing you. So hurry up." She said as she walked away.
"She's right," Jacob said as he kissed away my pout and slipped out of the bed. "Shower with me. You know for the environment and all." He said with a smirk as I broke out into a smile.
"For the environment." I agreed as he threw me onto his shoulder and carried me, caveman style, into the bathroom.
.
.
.
Surprising, Jacob and I were able to reach my father's home on time. As soon as I had stepped out of the car, I was pulled into my father's chest.
"Papa," I said softly as I deeply inhaled his scent; remembering all the times when his scent had calmed me as a child growing up.
"Bells, you're home." He said with a watery chuckle.
"I'm home, papa. I'm home for good." I said softly as I clung to my father with every once of strength I possessed.
My initial reunion with my father had been bittersweet. I had first contacted him after four years of my absence. It had not been easy. It took Jacob, Papa Black and my psychiatrist the better part of an hour to coax me into picked up the phone and calling and then it took them another three hours to convince me to actually speak when my father answered. Needless to say when I finally got up the courage to speak, my father was pissed but when he heard my voice and realized what was going on, he and Sue found themselves on the next flight out and within twenty hours, I found myself in the arms of my father for the first time in four years and I was at peace.
From the corner of my eyes, I saw that Jacob was sharing a sweet embrace with my father's wife and my step-mother.
"Hello, Bella!" Sue squealed when she saw that I was now free from my father's tight embrace.
"Hello, Mama Sue!" I said matching her enthusiasm causing my father and Jake to burst out in laughter.
"Are they laughing at us?" Mama Sue asked with raised eyebrows.
"I think so." I replied placing both hands on my hips as I stared Jacob down.
As if sensing my burning gaze on him, Jake immediately straightened up and stopped laughing.
"So Charlie, how is the fishing these days?" Jacob said as he came over to my side.
"Good. Caught me a five pounder yesterday which we will be eating very soon." My dad said as he pulled Sue into his side as he placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Let's go into the kitchen for brunch, okay?" Sue suggested as she blushed crimson. "We'll catch up there." She said as she gently disentangled herself from my father and led the way for the rest of us.
Stepping back into my childhood home was a bittersweet moment. Very little had changed. The couch had a little more wear and tear but other than that you had no idea that I had left here seven years ago with tears streaming down my face, one small duffel bag full of clothes and one hundred and twenty three dollars and seventeen cents.
"You okay, sweetheart?" I heard my dad asked as he tucked me into his side like he did when I was much younger.
"Yeah. It's just the memories. I left so much behind." I said softly as I ran my hand along the table positioned just by the living room.
"But you're back now and that's all that matters." My dad said as he rubbed soothing circles on my back. My father was never an emotional man but now here in this moment I realized just how much I had hurt him but there was nothing I could do except beg for forgiveness.
Gently after relishing in the feeling of being in my father's arms, I disentangled myself and made my way into the kitchen with the hopes of helping Sue.
"Mama Sue, you need any help?" I asked as I entered only to stop dead in my tracks as I noticed who was in the kitchen as well.
"Sam! Seth!" I screamed in surprise before launching myself into the arms of my step-brothers. "What are you doing here?" I asked as I hugged Seth tightly.
"We retired from the military. We work with Papa Charlie now." Sam said laughing at Seth's facial expression as I pinched his cheeks.
"Yeah two tours were enough." Seth said before pawning me off to Sam who twirled me around in circles as I giggled.
In the background, I could hear Jacob and Seth greeting each other as I continued to hug Sam.
Sam and Seth Clearwater were the biological sons of Sue who became pregnant at the age of seventeen. When word got out about her pregnancy, Sue was forced to leave the only home she knew and ended up her in good ole Forks.
When my father became the chief of police here in Forks, Sam, who was at the time fifteen years old, had gotten in some trouble. My father was the one who went and spoke with him and when he realized that Sam and Seth really just needed a paternal figure in their lives, he stepped up to the plate and took Sam and Seth under his wing. Some would say that it was because Sue is beyond beautiful that my father took care of Sam and Seth but to those in the family circle knew that it was because of Sam and Seth that my dad and Sue had a fighting chance.
Soon we surrounded the table and filled every inch of our stomachs with the wonderful food cooked by Sue. Throughout the meal, light conversations were made. We teased our dad about the weight he was putting on due to Sue's amazing cooking to which he retaliated by saying that Sue made sure he got his exercise while suggestively wiggling his eyebrow, causing Sue to blush and Seth to run to the nearest bathroom.
Soon enough, we were all lounging in the backyard, my feet on Sam's lap as I leaned against Jacob when I decided to talk about my speech which was just hours away.
"How bad is it?" I said softly but my voice seemed to carry.
"It's not as bad yet but it's getting there. I just wish I didn't have to involve you." My dad said as he cuddled with Sue in a lounger.
"No dad. I want to help. All I want to know is what the catalyst is." I said just as softly as Sam began to rub my feet for me like he did when we were younger.
"We don't know. I know you said that to deal with this that we need to find the trigger but when they so much as hear us coming, they close ranks and they close ranks fast." My dad said sounding all types of frustrated.
"Don't worry, it will work out." I said as Jake simultaneously slipped his hand into mine.
"And you, Bella. Are you okay with this?" Sue asked as she soothed my father as best she could.
"I can't say that I am. I know with all my heart that I will never be okay with talking about my past but for the sake of those in Forks and everyone I know, I'll do it." I said with a soft smile.
"I could never forgive them for what they did." Sam said softly as he twisted and turned my toes.
"They won't at fault, Sam. I was the one who made the stupid decisions." I said as I poked him with my toe.
"But they led you to that path, Bella and while it was your stupid decisions, they should not have done what they did in the first place. Then you wouldn't have made the stupid decisions." Seth said, justifying the views that both he and Sam had about my past.
"Will you all be there tonight?" I asked needed very much for my family to strengthen me.
'Yes, sweetheart." Mama Sue responded before anyone else had the opportunity to. "Your father and I will be on the stage with you and Jake. Sam and Seth will be on duty doing crowd control."
"Crowd control?" I asked slightly shocked.
"Yeah. Dad is expecting a large crowd tonight at the auditorium." Seth said as he stood. "And with that, Sam and I really need to head over there to make sure everything is running smoothly. Jared already phoned to say that people already started arriving."
"But it's only five- thirty." I stuttered out." I don't speak until eight."
"We know Bells but things have changed over the last seven years. The new pastor at the church, Pastor Weber, has had to do several sermons on forgiveness and guilt over the years to help the town cope with what they did. I think it really hit home when Carlisle pulled out from the hospital saying he would not be treat people from Forks saying that it is against the oath he took; you know the part where they say that he would give treatment to those in need in an unbiased manner and impartially. I think many of them are hoping that forgiveness is as easy as the good Pastor says." Seth said with a shrug.
And without another word, I looked as both my brothers rose and left.
"Bella, darling," I heard my step mother call. "It really is time to go." She said from the other side of my childhood room door.
"Coming, Mama Sue." I said with a sigh.
Truly, both Jacob and I had been dressed for about half an hour now, but had spent the last minutes just existing as husband and wife.
"I love you, Isabella." Jacob whispered against my lips. "You are the one thing on this earth that I shall never willingly part from. You are my home, my heart and my soul. I have found it all in you and with you I shall forever stay as your confident, as your lover and as your husband."
"Our wedding vows?" I asked as I played with the ring on his left hand. He had never taken it out since the day I put it there and I doubt that he would ever.
"I just thought you needed to hear it." He said as he rubbed his hands along mine in a very soothing manner.
"We should go." I said as I passed my hands over his jacket smoothing away non-existent creases.
"All will be well my darling girl." He said before opening in my room door and leading us out to where the cars were already waiting. Jacob thought it was necessary to hire a driver for tonight stating that he just did not want to drive. I knew he was just talking a bunch of crap but I needed him to ground me and hold me when it became too much tonight and for that I was thankful.
Even with the police escort my father provided, it was literally hell trying to get into the auditorium. For at least a mile away, cars were stuck in a stand still traffic as they tried to get into the parking lot before the start at eight. Seeing all these people; most of them I knew, scrambling to get there on time left me speechless. I could not stop the fear that surged through me as I witnessed people just abandoning their cars on the side of the road after deciding to walk the rest of the way on a very cold night.
"You need to tell this story, Isabella." Jake murmured into my ear as I pressed myself closer to him as I nervously played with one of his buttons.
"I know but I'm thinking about them. This is going to kill them."
"I can't say that I care about want hurts them or not, Bella. All I know is that they hurt you and you are all I care about." He said as he pressed a kiss onto my head.
Before I could say or do anything else, we were pulling into the parking lot. Silently I thanked god and his angels for blessing us mere humans with dark tint, as all those still lingering outside turned to look at our procession. I could see many of them pointing and craning their necks to see who was in there. Silently I reached out and took my husband's hand; willing myself to absorb some, if not all of his strength.
"I am with you, Isabella." Jacob said as he pulled me into his chest.
"I know," I responded quietly. "That's one of the reasons why I love you."
But before Jacob or I could do anything else, the car door was opened by my father.
With a sad smile, he nodded at us before saying the words that I dreaded.
"It's time sweetie."
As I stepped out onto the stage, an unnatural hush fell instantly. I could feel Jacob's hand on my lower back, comforting me as we walked to the center of the stage. My father who refused to be separated from me made his way past us and stood in front of the microphone ready to address the crowd.
"Goodnight everyone. Tonight, we have a guest speaker with us. She is a guest brought in by the Forks Police in an attempt to curb the rising crime in our area. We ask that our teenagers listen and hear what she has to say. She knows more that many of you do. So with that, I hand the mic over to Mrs. Isabella Black." My father said as he gestured over to me.
The reactions were instantaneous and unexpected. To the far corner and completely separated from the crowd were the two people who caused my heart to tighten in pain. I watched as they both stood silently; showing me clearly that they were both still loved me and forgave me for what I had done. From the corner of my eyes, I saw people lowering their heads in remorse and guilt as they saw tears pouring from the eyes of Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme.
"Bells you're on baby girl. We're all right here." My dad said before he stepped back to stand with Sue.
"Good evening everyone. As Mr. Swan just said my name is Isabella Black." I started to say shakily until a boy shouted out.
"We don't want to hear your life story princess. You don't know shit." He sneered.
As he said that my eyes searched frantically for him only to see him sitting to the far corner at the back of the room sniggering with his friends. From where I stood I could see the markings on his arms, distinct, dark and new.
"Dr. Feelgood?" I asked him making him jump slightly. "Or do you call it blue star. Or wait. Maybe George or Golden Girls?"
"What the fuck?" I saw him mumble before he fell back into his seat. "And the friend you have to your right…..Apple Jacks? Seriously…how are you getting this stuff?" I asked as I walked off the stage and towards them. I could feel the eyes of everyone in the room following me.
"Give me it." I said as I reached them.
"Fuck bitch, you ain't getting shit." Another one sneered.
"You're the smart one, huh. You're not high off of anything. Never have been either." I said softly.
"You're asked me how I know, well," I said to the one who was now looking at me, stunned, as I rolled my sleeves back, "It's because I was once like you."
"My name is Isabella Black and I am a recovering drug addict."