Thank you for the reviews and favourites and everything, guys :3 It's fun to write these rants, so it's nice to know that you enjoy reading them. Writing as Light was a lot harder than I thought, so it might be a bit rubbish.
Sadly, my attempts to claim the Death Note series have continued to be unsuccessful D: Yes, I'm kidding. I still don't own any of the characters I mention.
It's times like this that make me want to break out my Death Note again.
Every single fangirl should reconsider the pairings they put me in. Did I ever show any feelings towards the idiots they have paired me with? I'm above all of those people, so why would I ever fall in love with them?
For a start, why am I paired with L? Didn't I kill him? Didn't I constantly challenge him? Yes, a lot of that was to prove my superior intellect to him, but it was also because I hated him. That shouldn't be that much of a shock. Besides, he looks like an anorexic panda, and he's constantly staring at me. It was incredibly awkward using the toilet when I was handcuffed to him, because he insisted on being in the room with me, in case I wrote in my Death Note while I was in there. And he didn't stop staring at me the entire time. That's not really what you'd want in a partner, is it?
Why does everyone assume that I love Misa? And, for that matter, stop pairing me with Takada as well. Misa's a stupid girl who's obsessed with me (quite understandable), but she's annoying, whiney, and clingy. I have been tempted to punch her on more than one occasion. Every time I hear her squeal 'LIGHT-KUN!' I feel like throwing up. Takada's a naïve, idiotic woman who also believes that I love her. They were both pawns in my game, tools that I could use to get whatever I wanted. I don't actually love them. Stop being stupid about it.
It is also quite disturbing that you constantly write about me and my sister, Sayu. Why are you so interested by incest? She's my sister. You put up the defence that she was the only one who I seemed to care about, besides myself, but that's because she's my little sister. I helped her with her homework, but that's because she's not as gifted in Math as I am. And yes, my main motive for becoming Kira was to protect her and make the world safer for her, but again, she's my sister. You might be into that sort of thing, but I'm not.
I'm paired with Ryuk. That the hell is wrong with you? Why did you pair me with a Shinigami? Everyone needs to go back and read the rules of the Death Note again, because it clearly states that physical relations between a Shinigami and a human are impossible. Aside from that, why would I want to? He betrayed me, and he constantly has a smile like he's going to rape you.
I have to go back and write more names now. And if I come back to see any more of these pairings, you'll find that the writers all die of mysterious heart attacks. You have been warned.
-Light