A Funny Thing Happened…
Chapter Four
By Gayforkurt
A/N 1: Reviews are good but I'm especially blown away by seeing all those favorite/author alert notifications. It does add a little pressure but some pressure is good for you. (This is a reboot.)
Disclaimer: All recognizable Glee characters are the property of Ian Brennan, Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk. No copyright infringement is intended.
A funny thing happened… in the Lima Bean
David Karofsky could honestly say he was not the bravest person he has ever known. No, that would be Kurt Hummel. David could tell you, though, that he was probably crazy to think the young singer would want to have anything to do with him, his former bully.
Nevertheless, David was to be found sitting in a corner booth at the Lima Bean waiting on Kurt Hummel to grace him with his presence. Dave groaned and let his head hit the table with a thunk. It hurt a little but nowhere as much as his heart did. He was feeling wretched; he had been sitting there since 4:30 p.m. and he had looked at his watch every five minutes; now it was five minutes past five. There was no sign of Kurt and Dave muttered to himself, "I'm so stupid; I'm so stupid!" All while thumping his head on the undeserving table top.
"David, what are you doing?"
Dave's head shot up and he stared at Kurt Hummel who was staring back at him as if he thought maybe coming to see Dave was not such a good idea after all.
"Kurt, oh my god, I'm uh, sorry, I was…" Dave surged to his feet, sighed and then decided to go with the truth, painful as it would be to say it. "I just thought… it's after five and I thought maybe you had decided you didn't want to talk to me, y'know?"
Dave stared at the floor, hoping Kurt would just sit already so the other patrons in the coffee shop would stop staring at them. Maybe Kurt did hear the silent plea because he removed his messenger bag and slid into the booth, taking the seat opposite Dave's.
Kurt cleared his throat delicately. "I said I would come, Dave, I always keep my word. So, what was it you wanted to say to me, if you are ready to talk, that is?"
Dave looked a little less manic and looked over at the barista. "Would you like something to drink; it's my treat since I asked you here," he started to smile and then realized Kurt might think he thought it was some kind of date. "Uh, this isn't a date or anything, uh, just so you know I wasn't thinking that." He groaned at how lame he sounded but Kurt only smiled kindly up at him.
"Relax, David, just breathe, and yes, I'd love a caramel macchiato, thank you. No sugar, just lots of cream." Kurt's heart went out to the jock that had looked so miserable when he had walked up to the table. Whatever was on Dave's mind, he hoped that by unburdening himself to Kurt it would be of some real help.
"Okay, then, I'll be right back." The bigger boy strode over to the counter and looked up at the menu board filled with every kind of flavored coffee drink imaginable.
When he came back with their orders, Dave considerately placed a napkin down beside Kurt's drink before sliding back into his seat. The two boys sipped at their drinks for a few minutes before Kurt looked up enquiringly, giving Dave a silent cue to begin talking.
Dave cleared his throat and looked bravely back at Kurt. "I know I've apologized a couple of times already and you have been really great to accept them." He looked at his fingers that were methodically pulling strips off of his napkin. "I have wanted to explain what was happening with me, why I was such a douche to you and you didn't deserve any of it."
When he paused Kurt nodded in encouragement. "I know a lot of weird stuff must have been going through your head. From what happened in the locker room I could figure out some of it. What I couldn't ever figure out was – why me?" He watched as Dave's face flushed, a pained expression shading his hazel-green eyes.
There was a moment of silence and then, obviously finding courage from somewhere, Dave blurted out in a strained whisper. "I think you are the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life."
He sat back as if that was the entirety of his raison d'etre for years of abusing Kurt, who was now rapidly growing furious. Taking a deep breath, because really, he did not want a scene in the Lima Bean, Kurt stared at the fidgeting boy in front of him. He said one word: "Explain."
Dave was mortified; having said what he did, he had hoped Kurt would 'get it', that he would spare Dave the humiliation of explaining everything in so many words. "I was confused! Don't you get it?"
He leaned forward just as Kurt did, and lowered his voice even more, glancing furtively around to see if anyone could overhear them. "I'm a football player and a hockey player. My life would be a shit storm if Azimio and those other guys realize I think you are hot. You think getting thrown into dumpsters and slushied is the worst that can happen to a 'faggot'?"
Kurt recoiled at the harsh words and his eyes blazed. Color flooded his cheeks and he took a deep breath preparatory to blasting Dave but he was cut off.
"You really don't get that the world isn't all about show tunes and glee club, do you? Kurt, people are killed, maybe not here in Lima, but people like Azimio and Rick, the asshole hockey captain, wouldn't think twice about seriously hurting someone like me, who they always thought was a fag-hating douchebag like them." Dave sat back and let out a short huffing breath.
"I'm not brave like you, Kurt. You walk those halls at McKinley like you own them. I think that's one of the reasons those idiots pick on you so much. I picked on you because you made me feel things, realize things about myself that I wish I didn't." He sighed and looked up at Kurt who was now watching him with what looked strangely like pity.
Dave didn't want Kurt's pity, just his understanding, but Kurt's face was soft and his eyes were shining and it all meant that Kurt didn't hate him or think him a monster. "I hated that, even without trying, you made me want you in a way that confused the hell out of me."
At that declaration, Kurt's expression changed to one of faint embarrassment. He cleared his throat again, took a sip of his now lukewarm macchiato, and then looked at Dave. "I really had no idea all that was going on with you. I… really don't know what to say… It's not as if I can apologize, seriously, or should apologize. Still, I feel as if I need to apologize … and that is so messed up on so many levels."
He was breathless when he finished and silence stretched before them, embarrassment warring with a strange, unbidden urge to laugh. When Dave finally saw the dimple flickering in Kurt's right cheek, he let out a tiny sound, almost a chuckle. Kurt looked up with wide eyes, saw the look on Dave's face, and then just burst out laughing.
The boys' unexpected mirth served to break the tension that had been slowly building unnoticed and when the laughter died away to occasional chuckles, Dave leaned forward again.
"I don't think anyone in the history of the world has ever apologized for turning someone on…" and they were off again, chuckling like a drain and causing several customers to look over at the boys in amusement.
After a few minutes during which they finished their drinks, they decided to call it a day. They both felt they had cleared the air somewhat and, as it was a school night, they both had homework assignments to complete.
They stood outside the Lima Bean for a few minutes, an awkward little silence growing between them. Eventually one of them moved and suddenly Dave had his arms wrapped around Kurt, his face coming to rest beside the slimmer boy's neck.
"Thank you, Kurt, you are the greatest," he whispered, his voice catching slightly.
Kurt, inevitably, teared up and replied, "Not really, but thanks for saying that." They eased away from each other and Kurt looked up at the jock. "Are you going to be okay? I'll give you my number and you can text me if things get a little hinky."
Dave nodded and handed his cellphone over to Kurt who put in his number and his home phone number as well. Handing it back to Dave he smiled up at him; meeting up with his former schoolmate had been a good idea, he thought.
"I'm probably your first gay friend but I have a feeling that when you finally come out, there won't be any shortage of guys wanting to date you," he teased, enjoying the blush that flooded Dave's handsome face.
Waving goodbye to each other, they headed to their vehicles, feeling good that the foundations for a friendship had been laid, rising phoenix-like from the rubble of past hostility.
GLEE
Kurt shivered and squirmed; he muffled his whimpers with a fist but a tiny gasp escaped nevertheless. It wouldn't do to have his dad or Finn come barreling downstairs to investigate suspicious sounds emanating from Kurt's basement suite.
Puck on the other hand seemed determined to have the slimmer boy come undone beneath him. He intensified the languid movements of his hand as he caressed Kurt's lithe body and sucked hungry kisses into his neck and shoulders. He loved Kurt's body, couldn't seem to get enough of it and as much as Kurt liked to pretend, he really did love to have Puck's hands on him.
"Noah, Noah, you have to go now," Kurt whispered, trying to remove the tanned jock's hand from his sleep pants. Kurt had had no idea that he even possessed erogenous zones but Noah had made it his job, it seemed, to find all of them and then torture Kurt.
"I can't get enough of your skin, baby, it's so smooth, so soft; god, you're so hot, Kurt, I don't even want to leave."
Noah's word's brought up Dave's earlier declaration and Kurt wondered if he should mention their meeting. He decided he would; Noah had a volatile temper and there were no hidden agendas in Dave and his rendezvous.
"Hey, hey, stop that," he tried to pull Noah's wandering hand from under his sleeveless tee and grabbed his fingers. "I saw Karofsky today."
Yep, that did it. Noah not only removed his hand from Kurt's tempting body, he also sat up. He didn't look particularly angry but the aroused flush was fading fast.
"What did that douchebag want to say now? Is he done apologizing yet or begging for forgiveness?" The bigger boy's eyes had darkened as he gazed down at Kurt and his mouth twisted as if the words had left a bad taste.
"Come on, Noah, he had a lot of stuff dealing with that we didn't know about. He_" Kurt stopped as Noah raised the same hand that had been caressing his body not five minutes before.
"So, what, you like him now?" Puck had not really meant to say that but it just spilled out.
The incredulous question started a slow burn in Kurt and he pulled himself up to sit, knees drawn up, against the headboard. Noah suddenly realized that he was on the verge of fighting with the porcelain-skinned boy that he was coming to love and he definitely did not want that. He was about to apologize to Kurt but it was his turn to be stopped by a raised hand.
"Noah Puckerman," Puck cringed; this was so not good! "Think carefully before you open your mouth again!"
Kurt angry or even slightly pissed off was a bit of a turn-on for Puck but now was not the time to bring it to Kurt's attention. He knew he was being a jerk but after watching several people eyeing up his boy and even approaching him like Sam had, Puck was feeling a little insecure. Shit, he was McKinley's badass, he should not be feeling like this, but he couldn't help it. Kurt just made him all hot and bothered all the time.
"Look, baby, I didn't mean anything by it. I know you have this really huge heart – look how cool you are with the hobbit and Satan, you know? It's just – I don't think it's a good thing to start feeling sorry for Karofsky." Puck tensed as he awaited Kurt's response.
Silence stretched as Kurt's eyes searched his face. Just as Puck was beginning to think he'd ruined everything with his lame reaction, Kurt relaxed, a small smile on his soft pink lips.
"Come here," and Puck wasted no time in launching himself half on top of the smaller teen. Kurt cradled Noah's head against his chest, trying to ignore how the badass was nuzzling against him. "I think you were just a little jealous, weren't you?"
Puck was prevented from rising up in indignation by Kurt's deceptively slender arms that kept him in place. "Pfft, jealous of who, that asshole? No way, I'm a badass and you love it." He waited for Kurt to agree, and waited some more.
Then Kurt chuckled, the vibrations tickling Puck's ear where it was pressed to the singer's chest. "Yes, baby, I love your badass-ness, and you really have no need to be jealous of Dave. He just needs a friend and I can identify with that, okay?"
Noah hummed, and without meaning to, both boys gradually fell asleep, unconsciously shuffling down the bed into more comfortable positions. Their sleep was deep and restful and sometime during the night, they moved under the covers, snuggling up again to each other as if they had had years of practice.
When rays of pale yellow sunlight fell across Kurt's eyes he blinked and tried to move. Something lay across his chest and Kurt, for a few seconds, couldn't figure out what it was, until it moved.
"Oh my god, Noah, get up, get up!"
"Hmmm, wha_? Sleep, g'back sleep," the jock muttered, not fully awake, but Kurt shook him. "Okay, okay, 'm'up, stop pushing!"
As Noah rolled off of him, Kurt sprang from the bed towards the en suite, slamming the door before Puck could even get out a "good morning".
"You've got to leave before my dad finds out you slept here, Noah!" Kurt yelled through the door. "Gaga, what were we thinking?" The sound of the shower almost muffled that last bit and Puck smiled to himself at Kurt's panic.
He leaned against the locked door and yelled, "I'll see you in school, sweet-cheeks. Stay hot!" He laughed as something hit the door on the other side and gathered up his trainers and jacket. He had worn ratty sweats over last night so he had been fairly comfortable when he slept but he would definitely have to scoot if he wanted to go home, shower and get to school on time. He could not afford too many more tardy slips in his file.
GLEE
Kurt, Mercedes and Tina collected their orders and found a table near the front windows of the Lima Bean. There was no glee club that afternoon so the three friends had decided to hang out at their favorite café and exchange the latest news and gossip. Mercedes, of course, wanted to get all the dish on his relationship with Puck; Tina was just happy that Kurt was happy.
"Well, the most recent news in the ongoing saga that is my life is that Karofsky and I had coffee here yesterday." He did not have long to wait for the explosion of questions.
"Come on, white boy, you cannot leave it there!" Mercedes eyes held a manic gleam as she leaned forward, forgetting her drink in her haste to get every juicy detail from Kurt.
"We only had coffee and talked for a bit, 'Cedes, nothing more." Kurt smiled at the disappointed little pout on the dark girl's face. Tina looked more thoughtful and looked shyly at Kurt.
"Did he want to explain what was happening with him?" The Asian girl's question was insightful and Kurt smiled before replying.
"Yes, exactly. I can't say much but there was a lot going on under that caveman exterior." He nodded several times as he gazed out at the occasional passing vehicle. "He is one troubled youth, and I hope he gets help … talk to a counselor or something."
The three were silent as they nodded sagely, each no doubt thinking about the tribulations of being a teenager. Trying to navigate the treacherous feelings that tried to swamp them was a full-time job for a kid. Suddenly, Mercedes pinned Kurt with a look, a calculating gleam in her brown eyes.
"He likes you!" Her voice, while not exactly loud in deference to their location, was nevertheless piercing and it startled Kurt into inhaling his sip of coffee.
After the coughing spell had passed, Kurt gazed at Mercedes wonderingly. "How in Chanel's sainted name did you come to that conclusion," he asked disingenuously, still trying not to give anything away.
Mercedes smirked. "Puh-leeze, you boys – gay or not – aren't so hard to figure out, right, Tina?" They laughed and high-fived each other as Kurt shot a petulant look at them, probably at being lumped with all other boys.
"Well, I'm not at liberty to discuss anything we spoke about. Suffice it to say that I don't hate him anymore, if I ever really did, and I gave him my number…" he sniffed disdainfully and took a sip of his coffee.
"What?" Both girl squealed and Mercedes grabbed Kurt's hand. "Boo, I swear, you do realize you're setting up yourself for more drama, right?"
Kurt eased his hand away and pretended to study his manicure. Hmmm, maybe he needed another session with the paraffin; his cuticles were looking a little dry. Finally he looked up at his girls who were waiting for him to respond.
"It's not as if Noah doesn't know about it. I told him last night and he was fine with it," his reply was firm. However, his damn fair skin gave him away as faint color washed across his cheeks. "He was a little, ehrm… taken aback…," he sipped at his drink, "yes, taken aback at first but then he saw things from my perspective."
Mercedes and Tina looked at him skeptically; the fashion-obsessed countertenor could spin it any way he wanted but they knew the truth. Puck had been jealous and Kurt had had to calm him down.
"Did he get mad with you? Tell me he didn't hurt you or anything?" Kurt could almost see Mercedes planning what size pitchfork she would use, but he laughed and calmed her with a touch.
"He's just feeling a little insecure, apparently, but he didn't get violent or anything." Kurt smiled softly as he recalled how Noah had snuggled up to him and they had fallen asleep in each other's arms. Really, Noah wasn't as badass as he would love the world to believe. He was Kurt's Puck-Bear (not that Kurt would ever let him know this was Kurt's little name for him).
The girls watched the soft smile playing on Kurt's face and knew that things were still good, at least for now. Seriously, they could do with at least one semester without any romance drama in the glee club. They finished up their coffees, heading for the door of the café and making plans for a weekend of mall-hopping. The colder weather necessitated an update of their wardrobes and they all looked forward to the new designer colors that were coming out.
As the girls moved ahead of Kurt, Mercedes stopped so abruptly that the two following her stumbled to a sudden halt. As 'Cedes had pushed open the door, the figure barging in had stepped back to allow her out. Now the three friends stared up, looks ranging from surprise to faint dismay on their faces.
David Karofsky stared at the three McKinley students gaping up at him. He ducked his head and held the door so they could move past him. He didn't know if he should say 'hi' to Kurt in his friends' presence but Kurt took the decision from him.
"David, hi! I didn't think I'd see you so soon. What a coincidence," he smiled pleasantly up at the bigger teen.
David nodded to the two girls (he couldn't quite recall their names) and turned to smile softly down at Kurt's bright face. "Yeah, I like the coffee here, even though it's a little farther away from my house."
They stood staring at each other until Mercedes' cough broke the silence. Kurt blushed and turned to his friends. "You guys go ahead; I need to speak to Dave." His eyebrows nudged the girls into moving away and when they had obliged he turned back to Dave.
"Look, I won't tell anyone about our talk, unless you want me to, okay? Don't worry, I won't out you or anything," he hurried to assure the husky athlete.
"No, Kurt, I didn't think you would; you already told me you keep your word, remember?" Dave unconsciously stepped closer to Kurt as his eyes roved greedily over his face. Kurt's skin always seemed to have an inner glow and it drew Dave against his will.
Kurt nodded in agreement and now that he'd assured Dave of his integrity, he turned to join his friend. As he moved away he called over his shoulder, "Remember, call me if anything comes up," and threw a final wave at Dave.
Dave watched as Kurt strode over to his waiting girls, not noticing that the girls were watching him watch Kurt. When the three moved towards Kurt's Navigator, Dave turned and entered the café.
As Kurt backed out of the parking lot of the Lima Bean, Mercedes patted his jeans-clad leg in a slightly condescending manner. "Baby boy, that jock is so into you it could just as well be stamped on his forehead."
Kurt flushed at the uproarious laughter from her and Tina but just shrugged it off. His friends always seemed to be looking for drama even when there was none to be had. Dave might be a tad confused but with Kurt to guide him, everything would work out in the end. It just had to.
TBC