A Funny Thing Happened
Chapter 5
By Gayforkurt
Summary: Puck has suddenly noticed that Kurt Hummel did some serious growing up over the summer. Unfortunately, he isn't the only jock to have noticed the sexy young singer. (This is a reboot.)
Disclaimer: All recognizable Glee characters are the property of Ian Brennan, Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk. No copyright infringement is intended.
A funny thing happened… at the Puckermans'
"Noah! Noah, you have a visitor," Sarah, Puck's younger sister yelled up the stairs as she stared at Kurt. "You can come in. He's probably playing one of his stupid games. Noah!"
Kurt resisted the urge to stick a finger into one ear and shake it as Sarah had been right next to him for that last scream. Sweet Chanel, this child was definitely related to Puck, he grimaced. Hmmm, maybe I can take her in hand; instill a little grace and elegance. Pffft, right.
He smirked to himself and followed the young girl, she must be around 12, Kurt speculated, into the Puckermans' modest living room. She indicated that Kurt should sit before she tore off up the stairs, yelling that Puck had better not be screwing with her avatar as she was so going to kick his ass!
A minute or so later Kurt heard the thunder of footsteps down the stairs and Noah, panting lightly, came into the room.
"Princess, you didn't text me you were coming over," he reached for Kurt, pulling him into a deep, searching kiss. In seconds, Kurt was moaning as the jock nibbled on his bottom lip, pulling on it slightly before sucking on it. Kurt really liked the way Noah kissed, as if he could go on doing it for hours.
When Kurt swam up through the fog of lust that had swamped him, he discovered himself flat on his back on the sofa, Puck writhing on top of him and his arousal snugged up against Kurt's. Kurt groaned and pushed the bigger boy back a little. As much as he wanted Noah, he didn't think getting caught making out on Mrs. Puckerman's couch was the best way to be introduced to his boyfriend's mother.
"Mmmm, sweetie, we've got to stop, okay?" Kurt ran a caressing hand down the back of Noah's head and rested his hand on the boy's nape. Noah groaned and buried his head in Kurt's sweet-smelling throat. He couldn't resist one last nibble and lick, but he drew back to look down at the flushed boy beneath him.
Puck couldn't remember the last time someone turned him on the way Kurt did. All the girls and MILFs in his past had been calculated conquests. A way to build the Puckzilla's rep, you know; but with Kurt, his entire being responded and he just went along for the ride.
He gazed into Kurt's beautiful sea-green eyes, watching the smaller boy smile as he gazed back. He was relaxed in Puck's arms, not looking self-conscious at all as he watched Puck watching him. In fact, for teenage boys with the usual and expected raging cauldron of hormones, they were remarkably comfortable with taking this 'thing' slowly. Puck suspected that deep down, he realized that Kurt was different, special, and he so didn't want this relationship to crash and burn.
At the sound of keys in the front door and exasperated mutters in a tired female voice, the boys sprang up and attempted to straighten their clothes. Puck dashed around the sofa and into the entry hallway after throwing a quick glance at Kurt.
Kurt nodded at him reassuringly and turned to look around the room. The floor plan appeared to be pretty much like his own home's, but the décor was decidedly different. After all, they don't have a young fashionista like me living here, he smirked.
"Thank you, sweetie, I decided to stop and pick up some groceries after work. My shift ran a little over because one of the_," the voice broke off as Puck's mom came into view and she caught sight of Kurt. "Oh, Noah, you didn't say one of your friends was coming over?"
The questioning look invited Puck to move forward, arms laden with a couple of sacks from the local grocer's and he smiled softly as he looked at Kurt. "Ma, you've heard me talk about Kurt before, right?"
"Oh, yes," Mrs. Puckerman replied as she looked at Kurt curiously. She smiled in a friendly fashion and Kurt was blown away as he realized that Noah got most of his looks from her. He smiled and moved forward, holding his hand out in greeting. He just knew she was thinking that he didn't look anything like Noah's other friends who came over sometimes to hang out.
Naomi Puckerman held Kurt's hand, marveling at its softness and the firmness of his grip. "Well, hello, Kurt, Noah has mentioned you a couple of times. You're in that glee club, right?" Her eyes roved over Kurt's soft teal sweater with its wide neck, the skinny white jeans and his red high-tops. Her eyes widened ever so slightly as she noticed how fair and even his complexion was – and that smile! She'd seen pictures of boys who looked like him in art catalogs, the ones in those paintings where they seemed to glow. This boy was not the usual sort that came to play video games with her Noah!
As she watched, a faint, rosy blush spread across his cheeks and his eyes seemed to sparkle. He nodded and seemed to swallow some other comment before replying: "Yes, I go to McKinley with Noah (she noticed he didn't say 'Puck') but I was the kicker for the football team for one season, too."
"Oh?" She couldn't picture this delicate boy on a team with those rough, hulking football players (she looked over apologetically at Noah) but she did know that a couple of teams had sometimes even used girls for their ability to kick a ball better than the boys. "And you're here to hang out with Noah, work on glee club stuff?"
She had started taking off her coat and placing her pocketbook on one of the armchairs so she didn't see the look that flew between the boys. When she turned, Noah was fidgeting with the grocery bags still in his arms and she raised an eyebrow at him. She looked so much like Noah at that moment that Kurt let slip a tiny giggle, one dimple flashing in his smooth cheek.
"Uhm, yeah, we're going to work on glee stuff, uh, in my room, if that's okay?" Kurt had NEVER heard Noah stutter like that before and the urge to giggle only intensified as he watched his boyfriend's mother look at him, puzzled and now a little suspicious.
"Of course that's okay, Noah, what's gotten into you?" She moved to take the bags from him and headed into the kitchen. "I hope you've finished any homework assignments you have?"
"Uh, yeah, no, we didn't get any homework to turn in tomorrow. So, we'll just go – uhm – practice, right, Kurt?" Without waiting for his mom to reply, Noah grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him from the room.
Naomi watched the boys pound up the stairs and then shook her head: boys!
GLEE
Kurt collapsed on Noah's bed and let out the giggles he'd been stifling. Puck threw himself down beside him and huffed, annoyed that Kurt had seen him stuttering like a fool in front of his mom. At least Sarah hadn't been down there to witness his utter humiliation.
He turned his head to stare at the chuckling boy beside him and felt his heart swell as he watched Kurt. The pink cheeks and gleaming blue-green eyes were such a powerful pull, he raised up on one elbow to look his fill. Kurt turned to him as the last of the giggles died away, leaving him smiling invitingly up at Noah.
Noah accepted the unspoken invitation, leaned down and took Kurt's mouth in a slow, sweet kiss. Kurt's hand came up to stroke the back of Puck's neck and the bigger boy moved so their bodies were pressed together, with him half lying on top of Kurt. One slender leg rose to caress the muscular boy above him and Kurt sighed; he'd never tire of kissing Noah, the boy was so good at it.
How much time passed, both boys would have been hard put to answer, as their kisses grew deeper, harder and wetter. Kurt writhed been Noah's hot, hard body and he knew that if it went on for much longer, someone would be embarrassing himself – and in a hundred-dollar pair of authentic Armani skinny jeans, too. The prospect of ruining his jeans seemed very imminent as Noah seemed to intensify the frottage they had going, drinking in Kurt's breathy little moans as if his life depended on it.
"Oh, Noah, you feel so good," Kurt gasped, lost in the heated rush of his blood, his hands grasping the back of Noah's tee-shirt. Noah groaned, once again sucking on a small patch of skin at Kurt's throat. "Baby, god, you're so fucking hot!"
A loud, feminine gasp had them pulling apart and when Puck lifted his head, his gaze collided with his mother's horrified look. He sprang to his feet, glanced at Kurt whose face was now red with embarrassment and turned back to his mom. She was looking between the two boys, her mouth working but no words coming out.
"Mom, it's, it's_" he really didn't know what to say but he wasn't ashamed to be caught making out with Kurt. He was just sorry that he hadn't gotten the chance to break it to her that he was in love – with a boy. He hadn't wanted her to find out this way.
"Noah, oh my god," Naomi broke off to turn to Kurt, taking in his downcast eyes and flushed face. She noticed his disheveled hair and that his top was slightly askew – and was that a hickey on his pale throat? "Oh, Kurt, did Noah force you?"
"What, ma, no! It's not like that, oh my god!" Noah's face was red with a growing anger but what caught her notice was the look of hurt in his eyes. "Ma, I've never forced anyone in my life! What," he seemed to choke but continued: "Why would you even go there?"
"Oh Noah, I'm sorry, sweetheart, oh_" she turned and dashed from the door, her own face now flushed with embarrassment.
Noah turned to Kurt who had gotten up to move beside him. Kurt rested a gentle hand on Noah's chest that was heaving with emotion. "Noah, honey, don't be angry with her. It must have been a shock to see us like that, you know?"
Puck looked down at Kurt's face filled with understanding and grasped his hand, keeping it pressed to his chest. "We have to go talk to her, huh?"
Before either of them could turn toward the door, Sarah came bounding into the room, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "What did you do now, Noah, and why is mom walking around the living room wringing her hanky to bits?"
Noah ignored her and rushed out of the room, still holding Kurt's hand. The slender teen smiled apologetically at the young girl and followed Noah down the stairs.
Mrs. Puckerman had apparently decided that pacing looked too melodramatic and was now sitting in an armchair. She looked up as the boys came in the room, hand in hand. She glanced back down at her own hands folded in her lap and sniffed.
"Noah, why didn't you tell me you were gay?" She looked up at her son, noticing how he looked at Kurt before turning to answer her.
"Ma, I was going to tell you about Kurt but I didn't know when would be good. I don't even think of myself as gay, I'm just me," he looked at her pleadingly. His sister had come to sit at their mother's feet and he started when the girl suddenly spoke up.
"You mean, you're gay for him?" She pointed her chin at Kurt and then looked at her brother, no sign of what she felt on her face.
"His name is Kurt and, yes, I think it's just for him," he tugged Kurt closer to sit on the sofa beside him and relaxed when Kurt squeezed his hand comfortingly.
Naomi noticed the little interplay between the boys but Sarah suddenly burst out laughing. "That is just so cool! I have a gay brother. My friends are gonna be purple with envy, ha!"
Kurt spoke for the first time since greeting Mrs. Puckerman. "I think that's 'green', actually."
Sarah shook her head adamantly. "Nope, if you knew my friends, you'd actually see them turn purple! Green is dumb." She nodded as if that was the end of that and Kurt chuckled, suddenly liking the little terror.
Mrs. Puckerman squeezed the bridge of her nose before surveying the boys before her. "Noah, sweetheart, I'm not angry or _ or _ disgusted or anything. It's just, since you were eleven, you've been chasing girls. And I suspect a few women, too."
She looked at the shocked expression on her son's face and smirked. "What, I'm 40, I'm not blind. You kids always act as if you invented sex."
"MA," they yelled in stereo and for the first time since she'd walked in on her son humping that pretty boy in his room, she smiled. Really, it was a parent's prerogative to shock – and disgust – their kids once in a while.
"Well, Kurt," she looked at her son's – boyfriend – and smiled softly. "Kurt, do your parents know that you are gay, too?" Although, judging from his outfit, beautifully cared-for skin and gleaming hair, any parent who wasn't totally oblivious, would probably have guessed by now.
Kurt laughed softly and looked at Noah's mom kindly. "It's just my dad and me, and yes, I came out to him a while ago but it wasn't that much of a surprise. I was the only eight-year-old boy I knew who had afternoon tea with their macho father." He chuckled as he remembered teaching his dad how to hold the little 'teacakes' made of play dough.
"My father has been very understanding, very supportive, you know? My mom died when I was really little," and here his soft, musical voice faded a bit but then he rallied, "and it was just the two of us for a long time. He's recently remarried and his wife and her son are okay with it too."
This was a seriously abridged version of things but he didn't feel Mrs. Puckerman was ready for the details of his short but dramatic life in this narrow-minded Ohio 'burg. He nodded once, emphatically, indicating this was all he was saying on the subject for now.
"Mrs. Puckerman, I have had to grow up a bit faster than most teenagers so my feelings for Noah are deeper than the usual teenage drama," he paused and turned to smile at the anxious boy beside him. "He has been as much of a gentleman with me as he can possibly be. I'm not ashamed of wanting to be with him and I hope you won't be angry with him."
His mature and collected delivery went a long way to calming Puck's mother and she looked at her son with new eyes. She'd never seen that look on his face for any of the faceless girls he used to parade before her and her heart quaked because she knew this went very deep for him.
She cleared her throat because she was getting teary-eyed again but she didn't want to be a weeping mess in front of the kids. "I could never be angry with him, Kurt. I just don't want to see him get hurt – or you, too, for that matter. People can be very unkind and narrow-minded and Lima is a small city with a small-town mentality."
Kurt nodded, a grim look coming into his eyes and darkening them to grey. "Believe me, Mrs. Puckerman, I know whereof you speak." The tone was light but underlain with stone.
"Naomi, please, Kurt. I feel really old every time you call me Mrs. Puckerman," she smiled at the pale-skinned boy that her son was so obviously taken with, it shone out of him. "I think we're going to see a lot of each other, eh?"
She and Kurt shared a little chuckle and Kurt squeezed Noah's hand before leaning his shoulder against the bigger boy's. "You okay, sweetie? Your mom's fine with us."
Once again, before Puck could reply, Sarah butted in. "Hey, if you're going to be my brother-in-law, can you help me pick out something to blow those bitches away?"
"SARAH!" Naomi and Puck yelled at the unrepentant girl who just laughed at them, waiting on Kurt for an answer.
"I think I can manage a few minutes away from Noah; right, sweetie?" The dimple appeared again and this time it was Noah's turn to bump his shoulder.
"Yeah, go-waan, go do your girly stuff, you two. Us grown-ups will go sort out dinner. You like pasta, right, princess?"
Naomi drew in a silent breath, expecting Kurt to react unfavorably, but the slender boy just got up, reached out a hand to help Sarah up off the floor and threw a haughty look at Noah.
"Yes, I do, so go do your oh-so-manly cooking and shout me when it's ready." He turned to Sarah and indicated she should walk ahead of him. "Shall we, my dear?"
The young girl laughed all the way up the stairs, taking them two at a time as Kurt followed sedately, his back straight and head held high. He had no idea that two pairs of dark grey eyes were watching the movement of his lower half in those white jeans, one more lustfully than the other.
"Your Kurt is something special, isn't he?" Naomi Puckerman turned to her son, a devious glint in her eye. There was going to be so much material for some epic teasing, judging by the color that flooded her son's cheeks.
"Aw, come on, ma, I think my head's going to explode," Puck grimaced as he turned from his mischievous parental unit.
"Ah, but which head?"
"MA?"
Kurt could hear Mrs. Puckerman's – no, Naomi's – uproarious laughter but strangely, he couldn't hear a sound from Noah.
GLEE
Dinner at the Puckermans' that night was filled with laughter and Kurt got the obligatory Puck baby stories from his mom. Sarah interspersed everything with her sometimes salty language, making her mom wonder out loud – with a glare at Puck – where she had learned it.
Kurt enjoyed the calorie-laden meal and the joyful atmosphere, feeling like a million dollars. Not only had Noah come out to his family, they actually seemed to like Kurt. He wasn't going to admit to anyone that he had been slightly worried; after all, the Puckermans were Jews who went to temple. He hadn't known if they would be open-minded or, like so many supposedly religious people, turn out to be narrow-minded and judgmental.
Kurt relaxed and sipped at his cool glass of water, watching the little family interact and was happy to see the obvious love and care they had for each other. He knew Mrs. Puckerman's job didn't pay a lot but she seemed to be a generous, open-hearted person who hadn't let her circumstances embitter her. He was also beginning to see beneath another layer to Noah's genuinely deep feelings for his mother and little sister.
As he gazed quietly at Noah, Naomi watched Kurt surreptitiously. The soft dreamy look on Kurt's face broadcast so clearly the feelings he had for her son. She prayed that nothing would ever happen to wipe that look away, as her son was a good boy. He deserved to be loved by a good 'woman' – she would have said a short while ago. Now, looking at the glow that seemed to emanate from Noah – 'man' was okay, too.
She chuckled at one of Sarah's slightly off-color jokes that she said someone had told her at school, but Naomi suspected she'd found it on the Internet. Kurt laughed as well, putting one hand to his mouth and Naomi delighted in his gentle manners. He was such a contrast to her Noah, it tickled her own slightly off-kilter sense of humor. Noah would definitely have his hands full with this one, both literally and figuratively, if she understood the vibes coming from both boys.
"Well, Naomi, since you and Noah cooked this delicious meal, I think it only fair that Sarah and I clear up and wash," Kurt announced, pinning the young girl with a stern look.
"Oh, man," the girl whined. "Ma, I think I still have homework to finish."
"Uh-huh, you 'think'? Come on, as Kurt said, it's only fair," Naomi reached over and whacked the girl lightly on the forearm. "Git!"
Grumbling only a little, Sarah pushed her chair back, letting it squeak slightly on the parquet flooring. Kurt only smirked and reached over to take Noah's plate and cutlery along with his own. He was pretty domesticated himself, having had to cook for himself and his dad for so many years, so this wasn't a big deal for him.
Puck watched him go and turned to look at his mom, only to find her watching him, a soft smile on her face. "What?"
She only shook her head, took a sip of her water, then said, "Yup, he's definitely a keeper. However," and here she lifted her eyes to look straight at Noah. "No more making out in your room, sonny-Jim."
Puck let his head hit the tabletop gently. "Ma," he groaned.
"At least when I'm here," she finished with a smirk in her voice.
Puck's only response was to groan. It was a bit of an act, though, because his mom was seriously cool. How many moms, walking in on their supposedly straight son making out with another boy, would be teasing said son not two hours later?
In the kitchen, Kurt had overheard the conversation between mother and son and smiled.
Sarah, busily chatting away as she dried while Kurt washed, knew that Kurt was only half paying attention to her.
"So, what do two boys do together, anyway?"
"SARAH!" Puck and his mom's yells came from the dining room, startling Kurt almost into dropping a dish.
"What? I'm twelve, not dumb! I watch TV, you know!" She yelled back even while grinning at a shocked Kurt.
Puck came into the kitchen, sliding up behind Kurt and wrapping his arms about the slender boy's waist. "Leave Kurt alone, you little savage. I don't want him to get the wrong impression of us."
"Yeah, right, he knows you, doesn't he?" She dodged a swat from Puck and, sticking out her tongue, skipped out of the kitchen.
"Hey, you're not finished; get back here," Puck called out after her. She only laughed and continued on her way.
"You can help Kurt, in between stealing little smooches," her voice floated back to them as she headed up the stairs.
Puck just shook his head, looking at Kurt apologetically. Kurt just leaned back against him while rinsing the last dish.
"I don't mind her at all. I think she's an original; says what she means and that's okay, you know?" He tilted his head to give Noah access to his neck. Really, did the boy have vampire traits?
Noah only hummed; then he took the dish Kurt had been rinsing, placed it on the drain board and turned the slimmer boy around.
Kurt only had time to take a breath before Noah's lips descended on his. He moaned, loving the feel of the larger boy's lips massaging his. He raised his arms, wrapping them around Noah's shoulders and leaned into him. Large hands slid to Kurt's ass, kneading him through the cotton of his jeans and he moaned, pushing into Noah's body.
The two boys lost themselves in each other, lips and hands wandering over beloved skin but when Kurt felt Noah's arousal pushing against him, he gasped and drew back.
"Mmmm, we can't do this, sweetie, your mom's in the next room." Kurt placed one final kiss on Noah's pout and then smiled. Coupled with the puppy dog eyes, Noah was really a tempting sight but Kurt had been embarrassed earlier when Naomi had walked in on their heavy petting session and he did not want a repeat.
He pushed Noah away gently and smiled up at the tanned teen. "Come, I have to leave about now, anyway. Will you walk me to the car?"
Noah didn't say anything, just leaned in for one last nibble at Kurt's pink and swollen lips, adjusted his hard on, and stepped back. "Yeah, I'll walk you out."
Grasping Kurt's hand, he headed into the living room to his mom who had turned on one of her nighttime dramas. Naomi looked up at the boys and smiled.
"Leaving now, Kurt?" At his nod and shy smile, she got up and hugged the slender boy. "It was very nice to meet you, my dear." She raised up on tiptoes and whispered into Kurt's ear, "I'm glad it's you."
As they parted, Kurt looked at her puzzled, but she just smiled. "I'll see you soon, yes?"
Puck watched his mother hugging his boy and smiled widely. "Oh, yes, we'll be hanging out together a lot, right, princess?"
Kurt took up his messenger bag, slung the strap over his head to hang diagonally across his body and smirked at Puck.
"Oh, that depends," he said with one eyebrow raised and his chin tilted up. He watched as two pairs of grey eyes widened, Puck's mouth falling open slightly.
"On what?"
Kurt looked over at Naomi briefly then turned back to smile serenely at Puck.
"On whether you behave yourself." He giggled at the relieved look on both their faces then grabbed Puck's hand pulling him to the door with him. "'Bye, Naomi, it was great meeting you, too. Please tell Sarah I said goodnight."
She waved as they headed out the door. If she knew her son, he would be spending at least ten minutes outside, getting in a couple of goodnight kisses.
At the curb, Puck pushed Kurt up against the passenger door of his Navigator and plundered Kurt's sweet mouth. Both boys groaned as their simmering arousal flared again. Puck himself had been half hard since their aborted make-out session and he panted as he pulled his lips away.
"You're are so fucking sexy, Hummel. Please, it has to be soon."
Kurt gasped, his head going back against the glass of the window, his lower body writhing against Noah's. Really, he was so on the same wavelength with the boy humping him. They had to decide soon because he was finding it harder and harder (hah!) to call a halt to their necking.
"Ohhh, Noah, I want it too, baby," his husky answer showing how far gone he was in what they were doing, and in public, too!
"I think my mom has a double shift this Friday," Noah paused to lick a long, wet stripe up Kurt's neck, enjoying the shudder that rippled through the smaller boy. "Come over about seven, okay?"
"But what about Sarah," Kurt moaned, rubbing his crotch against Noah's knee that had insinuated itself between Kurt's legs.
"She'll be spending the weekend with one of her little friends." Noah gripped Kurt's ass, pulling him forward then attacking his neck again.
"Okay, Friday it is then. I hope you have stuff," Kurt gritted out as they rubbed against each other.
"Oh, I'll definitely get stuff," Noah whispered before planting one final kiss on Kurt's succulent lips before pulling back.
Kurt cleared his throat, straightened his sweater and smiled up at his boyfriend, Noah Puckerman.
"So, see you in school tomorrow?" Kurt said softly, his skin gleaming in the moonlight.
"See you tomorrow, princess, and sweet dreams." Noah gave Kurt's cheek one last caress and stepped back, allowing his boyfriend to walk around the car to the driver's side.
He stepped back onto the curb as he watched Kurt drive off and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. He needed things to subside a bit before he could go back inside to his mom's eagle eyes.
He knew he had it bad for Kurt, but he couldn't find it in himself to feel scared. He felt invincible; his mom and Sarah knew and, best of all, they seemed to genuinely like Kurt.
Noah moved back up the walkway, thinking about his life, his family, his boyfriend and his future. He went inside, smiled at his mom and hugged her and then went upstairs, still smiling as he threw himself on the bed.
For the first in a very long time, probably from before his dad walked out on them, Noah had a good reason to look forward to the next day, and the next and then it would be Friday. He folded his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. He would make everything perfect for Kurt because Kurt deserved it. He closed his eyes and continued to smile.
Kurt was perfect.
TBC