A Funny Thing Happened
Chapter 6
By Gayforkurt
Summary: Puck has suddenly noticed that Kurt Hummel did some serious growing up over the summer. Unfortunately, he isn't the only jock to have noticed the sexy young singer. (This is a reboot.)
Disclaimer: All recognizable Glee characters are the property of Ian Brennan, Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk. No copyright infringement is intended.
A funny thing happened… in the locker room
Noah Puckerman was in the lousiest mood ever. He slammed his locker door, took up his duffel bag and then headed out the door. He was the last to leave and as the cool outdoor air hit his bruised cheek he hissed. The pain also served to remind him of the incident he hoped would never get back to Kurt.
Nearly an hour before, the football team had finished up practice. They had hung around to listen to Coach Bieste harangue them on their poor memory of formations and after verbally kicking their asses, she had finally dismissed them to the locker room and their much-needed showers.
Puck had been carrying up the rear as he took off his helmet, his mind already turning to thoughts of Friday when he and Kurt would take their relationship to the next level. This was a step he felt was long overdue but his virginal yet undeniably lusty boyfriend had wanted to take things slowly.
Puck grinned to himself as he sluiced away some of the sweat that had gathered under his helmet with the side of his hand. He didn't notice another football player angling towards him until the guy's shoulder pad was almost bumping his. He looked over into Sam Evans' sparkling blue eyes and smirked. He hadn't forgotten how shocked the kid had looked when he realized that Puck and his crush, Kurt Hummel, were an item.
"Hey, Trouty, how's it hanging?" He quirked an eyebrow at the earnest, puppy-like expression on the blond athlete's face.
"Uhhm, ever since I found out about you guys _ y'know _ you and Kurt, I can't help wondering…" he trailed off as a nervous expression slid onto his face. Puck waited for him to continue as they entered the locker room.
The members of the team were in various stages of undress and some had even gotten under the hot spray of the shower heads, throwing jokes and insults back and forth as usual. Puck placed his helmet on one of the benches and sat. He leaned forward to undo his cleats and looked up at Sam, waiting for him to speak.
"Well, there's this image in my head that I can't get rid of. I just want to know … what it's like with him." He sat on the bench and started to undo his own shoes but paused at the strange sound that Puck just made.
Puck, unwilling to believe what he had just heard, had muttered a choked, "Huh?"
Sam looked up at the larger boy and shrugged lightly. "No disrespect, dude, it's just that every time I look at his mouth, I imagine all sorts of things and…"
Before he could finish that sentence, Puck, letting out a roar, jumped up and lunged at the startled blond. He fell on Sam who had looked up at him in shock and when Puck's momentum carried them over the bench on which he was still sitting, he got one forearm braced against Puck's enraged face.
The other footballers gave them a wide berth; fights and scuffles were nothing new in the locker rooms at McKinley High. In fact, most people seemed to think it was a rite of passage to come home with a bloody nose from football or hockey practice. Indeed, some of their dads seemed to think this was the norm. The male of the species was naturally aggressive and the teenage variety was even more susceptible to their hormonal surges.
The gathered boys yelled and cheered as Puck and Sam pummeled each other. The struggling combatants fought in silence until Coach Bieste made her presence known as she waded into the brawl.
"HEY, hey! Goddamit, I can't leave you scum suckers for one minute without you beating on each other. I have a mind to suspend both of you from our next game. NOW, what the hell is this about?"
She held both boys by the scruff of their necks and demanded an explanation, giving them both a shake every two words. She was huge and easily handled the two boys as if they were squalling toddlers. Noticing that only a few of the other footballers had returned to their showers and a couple of unwise rubberneckers were still staring at Puck and Sam, she turned her fierce gaze on them, too.
"You ladies go back to your blasted showers NOW!"
She turned back to the two culprits but Puck shrugged out of her hold and glared at Sam who glared right back. As he wiped the blood from his cheek, Puck looked at Coach Bieste, a defiant expression adding to the murderous gleam in his eye.
"It seems Trouty-Mouth here doesn't know when to keep his over-large trap shut and I thought I would shut it for him." Puck made to lunge at Sam again but the coach's arm barred his forward movement.
"Hey, now, stop that! Look, I don't care who pulled whose pigtails, keep it out of my locker room. That's if you both want to start in the next game!" With one last glare at the young idiots, she turned and marched to her office, muttering and shaking her head the whole way.
When they were certain she was out of earshot, Puck turned to Sam, a warning glare in his own eyes. "If you want to keep that pretty face of yours pretty, don't ever say anything to me or him about anything. Get it?"
Sam dabbed at a cut on his lip, looked at the blood and then glanced back up at the still-enraged Puckerman. He shrugged, moved back to the bench and sat again. "Yeah, I got it, but you know, my mom's folks have this saying: if you slip, you slide."
Puck scoffed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Sam looked up at Puck with his own warning glare. "If you make one wrong move, if you hurt him or disappoint him, I don't care how badass you are… you lose."
He turned his back to Puck and continued untying his shoes. He felt Puck move away and breathed a sigh of relief. Sam hadn't thought Puck would go ballistic from his question but thinking back, he should have known it probably wasn't a good thing to ask the volatile senior.
He sighed as he stood to take off the rest of his uniform, his eyes wandering over to the tanned football player who held the attention of Sam's unrequited crush. The thought of the rougher boy getting the chance to touch and taste Kurt, to be the recipient of Kurt's smiles and kisses and moans made Sam hurt as he hadn't hurt before. He wasn't planning to be a creeper, to hang around waiting for Puck to slip up. He just felt that, having once missed his opportunity with Kurt, he wasn't going to let another one slip through his fingers if he was lucky enough to get the chance again.
Puck, finally disrobed and headed into one of the shower stalls, could feel Sam's occasional brooding glance and could almost be certain what was going through the blond's head. Hell, he would probably be thinking the same stuff, if their situations had been reversed. Still, the dumb kid should have known better than to approach Puck with that shit. While he may have indulged in the usual locker room slacker talk and done his fair share of kissing and telling, Sam should have known that things would be different this time. If he felt even half of what Puck felt for Kurt, he could never disclose what it was like to make love with Kurt, not in a million years.
The boys finished their ablutions without any further talk and as Puck took his time showering and dressing, he ended up being the last person out of the locker room. He headed towards his truck with his head down, still brooding on the recent spat; it wasn't really much of a fight because they hadn't really been serious about beating the shit out of each other. He shook his head again as he wondered how he was going to explain his bruised cheek to his mom and Kurt. For some reason, he hated lying to them but there was no way he could tell the truth.
When he got into the truck, he gazed back at the school building, thinking back over the last few weeks since the start of school. He would never have thought he would find himself fighting over Kurt. Last semester, before summer break, Kurt had been just a skinny singer given to wearing outrageous clothes that were often way too tight. He smiled in reminiscence; it had been fun sometimes to see the pale boy shudder when the slushies would hit his face. In glee club, Kurt would rant about the wanton destruction of his beloved designer outfits. It was almost as if he was more outraged about his clothes (and his dry cleaning bill) than the freezing cold liquids that had dripped down his face onto his ensembles.
As he started the truck's engine, Puck chuckled to himself. Kurt was such a diva, they all knew that, but now Puck was privy to how Kurt smelled and tasted; he alone knew how he writhed and gasped when Puck touched him just so. He would never tire of the way his lips looked after Puck had spent innumerable minutes licking, nibbling and sucking on them. He loved the look in those sea-green eyes when Puck hovered over him, just before their lips met, and he loved the feel of the strong, slender legs that wrapped around him when he pressed their hips together.
Puck drew a deep breath and tried to calm himself; driving with a hard on was a bad, bad idea! He turned on the headlights as he turned onto the access road leading from the school and wondered if he could sneak into Kurt's bedroom window later for a "little bump and grind". After all, Puck smirked, it was Kurt's fault that he was now all hot and bothered.
GLEE
Kurt spun around from his dressing table at the sound of the scratches against his window pane. He relaxed as he saw Puck's head then shoulders appear as the athlete slipped through and landed on his carpet.
"Noah Puckerman, you'll be the death of me!" Kurt smiled broadly as he looked at his boyfriend, admiring the way the letterman jacket emphasized the boy's build. He particularly appreciated the slightly predatory gleam in Puck's eyes as he advanced on him. Kurt braced himself for what he knew was coming.
"Hi, Princess, keeping it warm for me?" He smiled at Kurt's gasp of faux outrage and reached for the slender youth. Kurt came unresistingly into his arms and he sighed as their lips met. Kissing Kurt was becoming a bit of an obsession, he realized, but he didn't give a rat's ass about that. As long as Kurt was just as obsessed with kissing him back, he was good to go.
Kurt moaned softly as Puck parted his lips and slipped inside. His arms tightened around the older boy's neck and their hips rocked against each other. He felt Puck's hands slide down his back to his buttocks and Kurt giggled at the tightening grasp. Kurt sighed as he pulled back, placing tiny kisses to the side of Puck's lips, finally opening his eyes.
"Noah, ohmygod, what happened to your face?"
Puck stared down at Kurt, taking in the O-shaped eyes and pink lips. He leaned in again for more kisses but Kurt only leaned back, placing his palms flat against the muscular boy's chest. "No, answer me, did this happen at football practice?"
Puck was glad that he hadn't had to lie to Kurt so he just nodded. "Mm-hmm, we got a little rough, you know how it is."
His answer was so glib that Kurt eyed him suspiciously. However, before he could voice his doubts, Puck was kissing and nibbling on his neck and damn! Kurt could never think clearly when Noah was being so sweet and sexy. Another breathy little moan escaped him and he stroked the back of his boyfriend's head, giving himself up to the sensations coursing through his body.
Kurt hadn't ever thought he'd be this interested in sex, ever. When all his girlfriends and the jocks in glee club had gone on and on about what it was like to make out, he had been more interested in romance. He had fantasized about his first time, how perfect it would be; straight out of one of his late mother's many romance novels. Now, Noah only had to look at him, or he only had to catch a glimpse of the boy's impressive biceps or abs and all sorts of naughty thoughts would race through his mind and head to points south.
Oh, Gaga, Noah was so hot and sexy and he felt very proud of himself for having caught his interest. Not only that, but if his intuition was spot on, he knew that Noah felt more for him than just another hook-up. Mmmmm, yes, he sighed, Noah is definitely falling for me; just as I think I'm falling for him.
The boys shuffled over to Kurt's bed and as Puck had his back to it, he was underneath Kurt when they fell over. Not that either of them minded, oh no! As he landed, Puck made sure to keep a firm grip on Kurt's butt and as the smaller boy settled on top of him, he stroked his hands up and down his back. Kurt sighed and wriggled to get more comfortable as they continued devouring each other's mouth.
Giving one last nip to Puck's bottom lip, pulling it slightly away before releasing it, Kurt sighed. "I really don't know if I can wait for Friday," he said, his voice languid and about an octave lower than usual. Puck felt himself twitch in his sweats. Kurt was so unknowingly sexy, he probably had no idea how much Puck was struggling not to just throw him down onto the bed and do the deed right there!
He groaned and banged his head back onto the mattress. "Please, please don't say stuff like that!" When Kurt looked at him in surprise, he chuckled. "Are you really gonna tell me you don't know I'm ready to blow?"
If Kurt hadn't been flushed already from their make out session, Noah's strained words would have done the job. Kurt realized then that the hard ridge of the bigger boy's arousal fell below the vee of his legs while his own was nudging into Noah's stomach. He smiled ruefully, leaning back down to press a light, apologetic kiss to his boyfriend's lips.
Kurt's face glowed and his eyes lit up even more. "Sorry, baby, I was so caught up in what I was feeling," and sighed happily when Puck kissed away his prettily delivered apology. He batted his lashes for good measure. "Forgive me?"
He giggled when Puck rolled them over and he found himself flat on his back, an aroused and amused jock looking down at him with hunger in his eyes. He couldn't hold back the groan as Puck's mouth covered his again, the agile tongue slipping and sliding so that Kurt felt his eyes would roll back in his head. Shades of McQueen, but Puck made him feel hot and hungry; he made him feel as if he was too big for his skin and that he would burst if he didn't touch him THERE!
With a feeling of relief Kurt realized that one of Puck's hands was moving across his hip towards the very place where all his thoughts were centered. Kurt's hips lunged up to make Puck's hand move faster, closer to his erection and he blushed deeper as a wanton moan escaped him.
"Yes, oh, yes, touch me, Noah, oh please!" The sound of Kurt begging him so desperately in his beautiful, breathy voice made Puck feel ten feet tall. He slid his hand to the waistband of Kurt's sleep pants and hesitated, unsure if he should go that far. The decision was taken from him when Kurt's own hand joined his and he dragged the sleep pants down far enough for his erection to spring free.
Puck groaned as he looked down at the hot, hard leaking organ he was now grasping. Wouldn't you know, it was just as pretty as the rest of his writhing lover. The hot, silky skin was a soft pink color and the leaking head was plump and rosy. Puck planted another hungry kiss on Kurt's pouting lips and slid down his body, his destination sure.
He took a moment to admire his prize and, as if he just couldn't wait anymore, he plunged his lips down over the straining organ. He had never had another boy's dick in his mouth but he sucked Kurt as if it was the only thing he wanted to do right now. Kurt's muffled shout made him smirk, proud of himself for pushing Kurt to another level. He looked up without losing any suction and noticed that Kurt was biting on his fist; he almost felt sorry for the boy's poor abused hand because it was going to hurt when he came down from his high.
Puck placed one forearm across Kurt's lunging hips to keep from being choked; really, the boy was way stronger than he looked, Puck thought. He himself was getting off on the noises, the feel and taste of giving his first blowjob and if he wasn't careful, he would come in his own sweat pants without even having touched himself. He hummed and sighed as he licked and sucked Kurt, and suddenly the thought came unbidden: I love him.
Puck groaned at the epiphany and, for Kurt, that was it. He came with a shout, pouring his bittersweet come down Puck's greedy throat as tears sprang to his eyes and trickled down his flushed cheeks. Puck grabbed his own dick and started coming after just a couple of frantic pulls. He licked and sucked Kurt's softening dick until, with a wince, Kurt pushed his head away gently. Puck panted and moaned softly as his cock spasmed, then laid his head against Kurt's trembling thigh.
Silence but for the soft susurration of their breaths reigned in the basement suite as the boys caught their breath. Finally, Puck got to his feet and laid down beside Kurt, rubbing one hand in soft circles on the slimmer boy's stomach. Kurt had a blissful look on his face and the color was fading slowly; Puck loved Kurt's porcelain complexion but found it a turn on when he put that rosy color there.
Kurt rubbed Puck's hand as he turned to look at the bigger boy, a soft smile on his serene face. "I love you, you know."
Puck, the badass, would go to his grave before he admitted that tears came to his eyes at Kurt's declaration. He cleared his throat as he stared into his lover's glowing eyes. "Pffft, it's only fair. I love you too, you know."
Kurt burst out laughing and sat up only to lean over and plant a hard kiss on Puck's smirking lips. When they had stopped chuckling and kissing, Kurt leaned away to look seriously at Puck. "When did you know you loved me? I mean, I kinda knew I was falling for you but it suddenly hit me just now."
Puck's hand came up to card through Kurt's thick, disheveled hair, a smoldering look creeping back into his eyes. "Yeah, I'd been thinking about it for a couple of days but, yeah, just now it hit me, too, and I had to say it."
A moist sheen made Kurt's eyes gleam and he slipped back down to lay his head on Puck's chest. They laid there quietly for a while, both wondering how their life would change, or if it would change. This was a first for both of them; Puck because he had never been in love before, not even with Quinn, and Kurt, because he had never had a boyfriend before. Yes, he had had a huge crush on Finn, which he was still mortified about and there had been a slight frisson of something when he had cornered Sam in the shower to talk about a possible duet.
Neither of them had experienced anything this intense before and, truth be told, it was a little bit scary. Regardless, Kurt for one was going to enjoy every aspect of this relationship with his unorthodox boyfriend. Not to mention, his bagging the McKinley badass as a first was a major coup. He couldn't wait to dish with his girls!
Puck, though, wondered what acknowledging Kurt as his official boyfriend would do for his cred. After all, he was the original Mr. Love 'Em and Leave 'Em. Even when he had been wooing schoolgirls and seducing bored housewives, his heart had never been engaged, only his 'nads. He smiled widely now because, seriously, Kurt Hummel was hot enough to flip him, a confirmed p***y pirate. Hah, take that, Sam Evans!
The boys' gloating was cut short, however, as a tiny beep-beep came from Kurt's desk and he eased up off of Puck's chest, wondering idly who was texting him. He reached for the phone, touched the envelope icon and then smiled at the name that appeared. He scanned the message quickly, and then his fingers flew over the keypad.
/Slammer:U busy, Porcelain?/
Kurt replied: Slammer, really? I'd use Hamhock.
/Slammer:OK, I'll be Hamhock. Wassup?/
Porcelain: Hanging with my guy.
/Hamhock:Ur guy? I didn't know. Later./
Porcelain: What? Wait!
/ … /
Porcelain: Dave, what the hell?
/ … /
Kurt huffed in annoyance and threw the phone down on his desk. He stalked back over to the bed and plopped down beside Puck, crossing his legs Indian-style and planting his chin on his palm. Puck stroked his leg, not understanding the mood change, and waited for Kurt to speak.
"That was Dave. Urrrh, I don't get him sometimes!" He stuck out his lower lip in a pout that Puck found himself admiring. As the words registered, however, Puck frowned and asked, "Dave? Which Dave was that?"
Kurt glanced down at him, a slight apprehension sneaking onto his face. "Uh, I gave David Karofsky my number just in case…"
"What?" Puck leaped up from the bed and glared at his boyfriend, uncaring of the wet spot on the front of his sweat pants. "You text buddies now?"
"Noah, you are beginning to sound ridiculous. Or is it jealous," he quirked one well-groomed eyebrow at the angry boy in front of him. "Are we having our first fight?"
Puck tried not to look at that devious dimple that always derailed his thoughts and then sighed in defeat. "I just don't want you to get close to him. That douchebag would probably suck you in with all this 'I'm so sorry' stuff, then try to get in your pants!"
Kurt choked on a surprised laugh, staring at Puck as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Noah, sweetie, just because you're hot for my form, it doesn't mean that everybody is suddenly panting after me!" He laughed at the look on his boyfriend's face. Really, he was just too cute, not that he'd ever call him that to his face.
"Look, Kurt, it's sweet that you're so innocent, God knows it's a big turn on for me, but you've got to wake up sometime," Puck sighed as he moved to sit again on the bed. "I know how guys think… aht!" He raised his hand to forestall Kurt's no doubt indignant response to the 'guys' part of his statement.
Taking Kurt's small, soft hands in his, he leaned forward to nibble on his boy's pouting pink lips. He got sidetracked from what he was going to say when Kurt leaned into the kiss, parting his lips and breathing Kurt in. With obvious effort, Puck leaned back after one last swipe at that tempting mouth.
"Babe, you're going to kill me, I want you so bad." He caressed Kurt's face and watched the slender boy lean into his touch. "Kurt, I'm the more experienced one in this. Please believe me, Dave Karofsky wants you like I want you; heck, like 'Trouty-Mouth' wants you!"
Kurt yanked his face away from Puck, leaning back on his hands to put more distance between them. "Noah, listen to yourself! Sam isn't attracted to me, not really. He maybe is just a tad flirtatious but he's just being nice; and he likes me because I was nice to him when he first came to McKinley."
Kurt's pleading eyes begged Puck to understand him. Puck, however, knew that Kurt was wrong. He knew how stubborn the young countertenor was, though, and that just meant he would have to prove that what he had said was true.
"Okay, tell you what, we'll make a bet."
Kurt looked at him suspiciously. "A bet? What kind of bet; are you crazy, Noah?"
Puck chuckled reassuringly, lifting Kurt's chin and stealing a kiss while the boy looked at him with narrowed eyes. Leaning back, he smirked and answered, "Crazy like a fox, baby," he leered. "I just want to prove you wrong so, tomorrow at school, you'll 'come on' to Sam and see what happens."
Kurt gasped and looked at Puck as if he was stark raving mad. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him and he asked with a sly smile, "And what about David?" His purring voice had dipped to that particular octave he knew got Puck hot and bothered. He smiled inwardly as he saw the older boy take a deep breath, his pupils dilating.
"What? Uhh…" Puck shuddered and then swallowed. "Ah, no, you don't have to prove anything with Karofsky. I don't trust that douchebag farther than I could kick him."
Kurt's merry laugh tinkled through the room and he flopped onto the bed as he kicked his long legs up in the air. Puck rubbed his crotch as the stirring there indicated that he was more than ready for round two. As if he could read his mind, or maybe he just knew him so well by now, Kurt glanced casually at Puck's crotch while still laughing at him.
"Noah," the sultry voice drew his attention back to Kurt's smiling face. "It wouldn't be fair to 'come on' to Sam and not to Dave, would it? You specifically said Dave wanted in my pants as well as Sam. Well, Dave has to be part of this too, okay?"
Puck didn't answer as he was busy mentally kicking himself up and down the proverbial street. What had gotten into him to say such a damn fool thing, anyway? However, the Puckster had never backed down from a challenge before and he wasn't about to start now.
"Okay, ground rules. You are just to flirt; no touching and definitely no lip action, got it? And yes, you can include Karofsky. So help me, though, if he so much as lifts a finger, I'll be all over him!"
Kurt sighed and stared up at the ceiling of his room. Life with Noah Puckerman was never going to be boring, of that he was most certain. What he wasn't certain about was if his sanity could handle it. He smiled as he turned his head back to his worried-looking lover. 'I really think I love this nutjob, Gaga help me!'
Puck snuggled up to Kurt and once again rubbed his hand on the younger boy's stomach. He knew he would have his hands full with his beautiful diva but he prayed to his God that he wouldn't come up with anymore dumb ideas because, seriously, he knew Kurt had other options besides him. He just hoped that Kurt would feel that what they had would be worth it.
TBC
A/N: This has turned out a little differently from how I'd initially seen it in my mind. Still, I needed a little angst in there before the big love-making (oh, alright, sex scene!) on Friday night. I've never done a full-on, balls-to-the-wall sex scene before and it's a little intimidating. Read and review, please, my lovelies, read and review!