A Funny Thing Happened

Chapter 9

By Gayforkurt

Summary: Puck has suddenly noticed that Kurt Hummel did some serious growing up over the summer. Unfortunately, he isn't the only jock to have noticed the sexy young singer.

Disclaimer: All recognizable Glee characters are the property of Ian Brennan, Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk. No copyright infringement is intended.

A funny thing happened… in the cafeteria

"We need to talk!"

Puck blanched as the dreaded words came from his boyfriend's pursed-thin lips.

The two boys were standing almost chest to chest in the janitor's closet after first period. They didn't have any classes together today and Kurt had been on tenterhooks waiting to see Noah. What he wanted to say he couldn't by text. They had to be face-to-face for this. Hence, the clandestine closet meeting.

"Whatever you heard, I didn't do it… ugh, it wasn't me?" Puck had never stuttered in his life before hooking up with Kurt but something about the slender diva always caught him off guard.

"What _ Noah, what are you talking about?" Kurt's voice, though he was trying to speak as quietly as possible, still raised nearly an octave in puzzlement. He raised one imperious hand and halted Puck's reply. "Never mind, there's something I need to tell you. Noah, are you listening to me?"

Puck, immediately realizing he wasn't in trouble, had started focusing on the way Kurt's lips looked as they formed words. He knew he was obsessed with the young singer; he just couldn't help that his body was decidedly Hummelsexual!

He came back to himself and smiled down into his boyfriend's annoyed face. He knew one surefire way to distract Kurt from whatever had got stuck in his craw and he was going to go for it.

Kurt let out a little squawk as Noah's lips descended on his but the sound morphed into a soft moan. Noah always kissed him as if he couldn't get enough. That turned Kurt on more than the mere feel of the other boy's lips and tongue working so passionately on his. His arms snaked around Noah's neck, pulling the taller boy closer and Kurt lost himself in the kiss.

The boys had no idea how long they stood there rubbing against each other, Noah's hand sliding unnoticed into Kurt's previously well-coiffed hair. They were in love and like teenage boys everywhere, the pesky thought of classes would always take a back seat to making out with the one you love, and rightly so. However, as Kurt's lips began to plump from the pressure of Noah's insistent, sucking, nipping kisses, he pulled back slightly and broke the impromptu make out session.

"Noah, sweetie, we have to stop," his soft, breathy, turned on voice belying the words unintentionally.

Puck took the opportunity to move his lips to Kurt's long, smooth, pale neck. There was no part of Kurt that Puck didn't relish getting his lips and hands on and the singer's neck was near the top of his list. Both his hands had slipped down to cup Kurt's ass and, as he nibbled, he pulled the slender boy's body closer to his so that his not inconsiderable erection had something to rub against.

Kurt's loud moan did what his words hadn't; Noah pulled his lips away and halted his grinding movements. He gazed down with lust-heavy eyes at Kurt's full, pink lips and smiled. He knew he could spend hours just staring at the fashionista but he was especially looking forward to the night when they would finally consummate their attraction. He eased his muscular body back from Kurt's but couldn't resist one last little nip.

"Noah! What's got into you this morning?" Kurt's giggle coupled with his red cheeks spurred Puck on, a mischievous glint forming in his eyes. He leaned down close to his boy's ear, feeling Kurt shiver against him.

"Just thinking about what's getting into you later!" He leaned back as Kurt gasped; a burst of surprised laughter escaped the smaller teen.

"Jesus, Noah, horny much?" Kurt smirked then straightened up away from temptation. "Anyway, I have to tell you something."

Puck wasn't the most sensitive of persons at the best of times, but he was beginning to be an expert on Kurt Hummel and he could tell that whatever was on his boyfriend's mind was fairly serious.

"Okay, shoot, what's so important it has to interrupt an important make out session," he replied, trying to lighten the suddenly serious atmosphere.

"I… I need to concede that you might be right." Kurt stared down at his tightly entwined hands and tried to relax them.

Puck tilted his head as he stared down at Kurt's hair; the younger boy had ducked his head as he made his admission. The words were somewhat surprising but what alerted Puck more than anything was Kurt's demeanor. He almost seemed _ guilty?

"Yeah, what am I right about, princess?"

Kurt huffed a little at the nickname but decided to ignore it. "About that stupid wager… I, ugh, met with the gentlemen in question," he lifted his head haughtily at Puck's raised eyebrow at the use of 'gentlemen'; "and it seems you may be right about their intentions."

Noah leaned against the door of the janitor's closet and looked closely at Kurt who now had his arms wrapped around himself. His own body language exuded relaxed confidence; his hands were forced into the front pockets of his sinfully tight jeans and he knew his bulge was prominent. Kurt's eyes kept darting to it even as he tried to look unmoved by Puck's sexiness.

Kurt peeked at Noah from beneath his lashes, wondering at the other boy's continued silence. He didn't look as if he was annoyed; he just looked as if he was waiting for Kurt to continue talking, so he did.

"I met with them both – no, at different times – but, after a bit, I made it clear that _ I was taken." He ducked his head again as he finished and waited for Puck to respond.

Puck frowned a little and straightened from his slouch against the door. "Wait, 'after a bit'; what 'bit'? What exactly happened, Kurt?" He didn't want to come off as threatening but realized he was looming over the other boy as he spoke.

Kurt lifted his chin, feeling defensive at Puck's tone, and looked the other boy in the eye. He hated lying, even by omission, and though he didn't feel as if he had done anything wrong, he realized that Puck's jealous streak might cause problems for him now.

"Nothing happened, as such. They, uhmm, they may have tried to _ kiss me?" He had started out strongly but his tone dwindled to nervous as he watched Puck advance on him. He was not going to step back; he would face anything Puck could bring, but he prayed to all that was fashionable that Noah wouldn't be angry with him. He licked his lips as he waited.

Puck stopped so near to the other boy, they were almost breathing the same air. "They 'may have tried' or they actually did; which is it?" He stared into Kurt's beautiful eyes and watched as the pupils dilated slighted. Damn, that was so hot, Puck noted, even as he tried to hold on to his ire.

Kurt licked his lips, nervous at the predatory gleam that had appeared in Noah's eyes. He really did love the boy before him and as he thought this, his hands crept to the front of Noah's letterman jacket and stroked.

Noah's eyes closed as he felt the tentative caress. When he opened them, Kurt was staring up at him with such love he felt his chest clench. His own arms slid around Kurt's slender waist, pulling the slimmer body into his own. He brought his lips close to Kurt's and muttered barely loud enough for the other boy to hear.

"They did kiss you, didn't they?" At Kurt's single nod, Puck ground his lips against Kurt's.

This kiss was so very different from the earlier ones that Kurt gasped at the force of it. Tears sprang to Kurt's eyes and leaked from his tightly closed lids. Puck, unnoticing, continued to grind his lips against Kurt's and forced the other boy's mouth open. He plunged his tongue inside the hot cavern. Kurt's taste was addicting and though he was angry right now, he couldn't help savoring the kiss and he pulled back to suck on the plump bottom lip. With a final nip he released Kurt and raised his head. What he saw almost broke his heart.

He hadn't noticed the tears that had slipped down Kurt's pale cheeks and when the boy's drenched blue-green eyes stared up at him, he felt like the biggest heel on the planet. Puck knew he had a temper but he had never meant to make Kurt cry; that was the last thing he would want.

He tugged the boy to his chest and cradled him, his arms wrapping around the slender boy as Kurt drew a shuddering breath. "Shhh, I'm so sorry, Kurt, I'm so sorry." He kissed the side of his head and wondered what he'd do if Kurt called a halt to their _ thing.

Kurt slipped his arms around Noah's waist, feeling a little silly at the wetness still on his cheeks. He nodded his head, knowing that the bigger boy would feel the motion. "I'm s-sorry too, Noah. I should have known bett_"

Puck interrupted his apology. "No, I'm sorry. I was a douche when I came up with that dumbass bet." He squeezed Kurt once and then eased back, looking down into that beautiful face and vowing that he would never again cause Kurt to cry.

"I'm more experienced with stuff and I should never have pushed you into it. I know how you are… that you'd be hell bent on proving you were right. Forgive me?" He turned the full power of his contrite 'puppy dog' look on Kurt and was relieved to see the glimmer of a smile appear on the boy's face.

Kurt leaned away from him and wiped at his cheeks with the back of his hand. He sniffed, "It's all a tempest in a teacup, anyway." At Puck's quizzical look he shook his head and smiled. "Never mind; just so you know, they are now fully aware that I'm taken."

As he tried to fix his clothes and hair to their pre-make out session condition, he glanced over at Puck's expression. "Oh, no, I didn't tell Dave who you were. I don't know if you want the general population of McKinley and Lima to know about us yet."

Though he said it as a statement, Puck could feel the underlying query. That meant that Kurt was feeling maybe a little uncertain about their 'thing' and Puck made up his mind that he wasn't going to wait too much longer until coming out to everyone.

He didn't have much on himself to straighten out so he 'helped' Kurt by brushing down the back of the mid-thigh length sweater he was wearing today. Kurt giggled again as he knew that Puck was just copping a feel but he didn't mind, not at all. It was a serious ego boost to know the hottest guy in high school was hot for you.

They finally got everything back in place and Puck peeked around the closet door to see if the coast was clear. He pulled back to snatch one last quick kiss before, with a wink, he slipped out the door, whistling loudly so Kurt knew it was okay to step out.

Kurt shook his head fondly as he stepped out and closed the door confidently behind him. He settled the strap of his bag firmly onto his shoulder and proceeded in his usual runway-ready stride towards his next class.

Whew, he was glad he'd gotten the unpleasantness out of the way this early so he could spend the rest of the day daydreaming about what was in store for him with his sexy boyfriend later that night. He was so caught up in his pleasant daydreams he didn't realize he was almost glowing, but others did notice and they speculated too.

GLEE

Lunch in the school cafeteria was a necessary evil for Kurt but he at least was able to enjoy his self-made healthy lunch while he alleviated the boredom with his fellow gleeks. Today he was sat sandwiched between Mercedes and Tina and across from them were Finn, Puck and Mike Chang. Between forkfuls of his yummy three-bean salad and sips from his water bottle, he tried to keep his lustful eyes from Noah's muscular torso, displayed for everyone's perusal in a skin-tight black sleeveless tee-shirt. His letterman jacket was lying on his lap as he devoured his lunch and Kurt with his eyes, oblivious to the annoyed stares from Mercedes, and the uncomfortable giggles from Tina. Finn was too busy inhaling his double lunch to notice anything unusual and Mike was trying hard to catch Tina's attention.

At one end of the table, Brittany and Santana were flirting while ignoring Artie and at the other end, Rachel was doing her best to impress Sam with her encyclopedic knowledge of all things Broadway. Quinn, at the end of the table, was trying her darnedest to puncture Rachel's nauseating self-confidence with snide little asides to each of her assertions, causing Sam to laugh every now and then.

A fairly typical day at McKinley High, one would think. What was not typical, however, was the underlying tension between Puck and Kurt. The gleeks knew they were together so they couldn't understand Kurt's fluctuating color or why, in between the lustful looks thrown Kurt's way, Puck would sometimes get a speculative, almost calculating look on his face.

Both boys knew, though, that it was thoughts of the coming night that was ratcheting up the tension between them. Puck had texted him shortly before the bell for lunch had rung, to let Kurt know that he had everything they needed for later. He didn't know it but Kurt had gasped aloud upon reading the text and nearly dropped his phone. This had drawn Mercedes' attention, unfortunately, and now she was certain that something was up with her 'boo' and the Neanderthal he was currently dating.

The brown-skinned diva now divided her time between eating her lunch (consisting mostly of tater tots) and glaring at Puckerman. She made a promise to herself to threaten him with castration later if he hurt even a hair on her bestie's head. Mercedes Jones would go all 'Lima Heights Adjacent' (as Santana was known to scream) on his badass self because she protected the people she loved and Kurt was definitely on that list.

She glanced at the gorgeous boy beside her, taking in the way the heather color of his sweater seemed to make his skin glow. At least, she amended, part of the glow was from the flattering hue of his clothing. The other part could be attributed to whatever shenanigans the two boys had gotten up to in that janitor's closet.

Yes, she and Tina had just turned the corner and witnessed a self-satisfied Puck whistling as he sauntered down the corridor. Just as she was about to say something to Tina they both saw Kurt, glowing and smiling, come out of the same closet and set off in a strut behind Puck.

The two girls exchanged a look, Tina's slightly embarrassed and Mercedes' with fire in her eyes, as they realized what the boys had probably been up to. As Tina stifled a little giggle, Mercedes muttered to herself: "White boy better know what he's getting into with that man-whore Puck!"

Now, sitting beside Kurt and watching him flirt with his first ever boyfriend, Mercedes said a little prayer that her 'boo' would be alright, even as she continued to stare daggers at the tanned twit in front of her.

Kurt, for his part, could almost see in Noah's eyes the promises for later. As he finished up his salad and sipped the last of his bottled water, he couldn't help but smirk as he watched Noah watching his lips on the bottle. Really, that boy was such a horndog, a stiff breeze blowing the right way could turn him on!

He rose with Mercedes and Tina who'd finished a little before he did, and the three strode to the doors of the cafeteria. Just before reaching it, however, Kurt heard his name called. He turned to see Noah striding towards him, a purposeful look warring with the sexy smirk he always seemed to wear around Kurt.

"Noah, how may I help you?" Kurt knew that Puck liked his voice; he said it often enough when they were making out, claiming that he could come just from listening to it. He didn't change it deliberately, but he knew the effect it had. Now he smiled as he watched the larger boy's pupils dilate slightly.

Puck however, just looked at him from beneath half lowered lids. After a minute pause he said, loud enough for the others nearby to hear: "That sweater, nice as it is, seems a little thin. Wanna wear my jacket?" He held out his letterman jacket to Kurt who stared at him, and it, a gormless look on his face.

To say the silence in the usually noisy room was deafening was an understatement. Some of the students who were sitting farther away and not immediately privy to the cause of the sudden silence got up to see what was happening. There seemed to be some kind of confrontation at the cafeteria doors. No, it seemed like some guy was giving another guy his jacket to wear.

Wait, WTF?

A buzz started up as the other gleeks piled around Noah and Kurt, watching as Kurt, his serene smile reacquired, thanked Noah: "Yes, it's been a little chilly, thanks, Noah," and shrugged into the letterman jacket.

Mercedes handed Kurt his messenger bag and he, Mercedes and Tina turned and headed out of the room. Behind him, Puck was being clapped on his back and teased by Mike, Artie and Finn but Sam, who'd lagged behind his fellow gleeks, was the only one not outwardly pleased with this newest development.

The rest of the student body continued to buzz about the resident badass jock giving the very male diva his LETTERMAN jacket! That was tantamount to an engagement and comments and opinions on Puck's sexuality and masculinity (and sanity) continued to fly around until the first warning bell for the end of the lunch period sounded and they scattered reluctantly.

In the girls' lavatory, the girls had gathered around Kurt, alternately hugging him and bombarding him with questions. One stood out amongst the hubbub, and Kurt turned to Mercedes, his eyes suspiciously damp.

"Oh, my Gaga, 'Cedes, I had no idea he'd do that. Isn't it crazy?" She looked into her friend's beautiful, slightly bewildered eyes and hugged him to her ample bosom.

"Yes, it's crazy, but it's Puck. Really, guys, this is probably the best way for him to come out."

The other girls all nodded and murmured their agreement. Puck was well known throughout the school for being unconventional. Now, it seemed, that was even carrying over into this new manifestation of his sexuality.

A fairly similar situation was unfolding in the boys' lavatory on the third floor as Puck found himself the center of attention from a not-so-friendly crowd. The hockey players, some having been present for the big reveal of Puck's 'queerness', advanced on the tanned football players.

"Hey, Puckerman, I hear you take it up the ass now!" Rick 'the Stick' Nelson, the mulleted captain of the hockey team, guffawed at his own lame wit. He high-fived a couple of the nearest players and turned back to Puckerman who had yet to reply.

Puck smirked and lowered his head menacingly before taking a step towards the idiot redhead still grinning foolishly.

"What, you going to give me some lessons?" There was an outraged gasp from the hockey players but before they could move forward, the football players moved up behind Puck in silent support.

Puck took another step forward and Nelson swallowed nervously, thinking that maybe pissing off Puckerman, gay or not, had probably not been a good idea. He looked from side to side at his fellow Puckheads and noted that they, too, seemed less than confident in the outcome of this confrontation.

A cruel smile made its appearance on Puckerman's face and the room grew even quieter. "Say anything to my face or Kurt's and I won't hesitate to FUCK YOU UP!"

The sudden roar caused both the hockey players and footballers to flinch, but Puck didn't stop there. His face twisted into the very picture of malevolence as he advanced on Nelson, almost standing toe-to-toe with the suddenly pale ginger-haired athlete.

"I will not only fuck you up but…," here he leaned forward and lowered his voice so that, unconsciously, the other boys leaned forward, too. "I will fuck up your whole FUCKING FAMILY! Clear?"

Nelson almost pissed himself as he leaned away from the spray of spittle that still landed on his face anyway. He nodded so vigorously that he gave himself a headache and whimpered as he stared into Puckerman's feral eyes. He'd never seen the football player that angry before but he'd known of his reputation and his time in juvie. This confrontation had definitely been an epic fail where he was concerned.

Puck stepped back from the Puckheads in front of him with an evilly satisfied smile. 'NOW _ GET OUT!" He made as if to lunge at the hockey players and chuckled as they fought each other to be the first out the door.

He turned to see his fellow football players staring at him in shock and awe. He noticed Azimio, Karofsky's former bully partner, near the back of the group along with some others he wasn't close to, and spread his arms.

"What, you douches have a problem with me, too?" Clearly no one was going to confront him after that aggressive display so he glanced over to Finn, Artie and Mike, a little grin on his face.

Finn smiled his goofy smile at him and glanced at Artie and Mike. "No, man, we don't have a problem with you being an epic badass. Yeah!" The four boys high-fived each other and cackled like idiots, recalling how the Puckheads had almost soiled themselves in fear of Puck's threats.

"And," Finn continued, "I don't have a problem with you dating my step-bro, either. He deserves someone cool like you."

"Yeah, damn, skippy. Nobody cooler than me."

The other boys shook their heads, still chuckling, as they left for the rest of their classes. Whoever said high school was boring didn't know McKinley High for damn sure.

TBC

A/N: Well, folks, we're coming down to the wire. The next chapter has been the hardest one to write as it involves some serious sexy-times between our fave boys. Remember, reviews make writers update faster! :D