Chapter Eight: Exit Infinity
Note: The song in this chapter is "One Night in Bangkok", from Chess.
"I can't come with you to the next stop," Mike tells Jesse. "As I said, we can only travel downward, not upward – that's the way things work here."
"I always thought it was more self-contained," Jesse replies, swallowing hard. The next stop must be… well, it should be better than the last one, but everything's so surreal that he doesn't know anymore.
"No, it's more fluid than that – and it's not hard to go between them." He puts his hands on Jesse's shoulders, and Jesse feels his heart drop, remembering… Oh God, remembering carrying him into the makeshift hospital and he was just lying there while the doctors only bothered to work on Gus.
And it didn't do either of them any good but it was just so unfair.
"Close your eyes, kid."
He does, lets them slip closed but it feels like such an effort to do so, which surprises him. He can feel himself become weightless, like he's a kid again and riding the Gravitron with his friends at the carnival.
When he opens his eyes, he's not sure what he was expecting, but it's not quite it and he wouldn't know how to describe it other than it's like finding himself smack dab in the middle of a sunset. It's oddly dark but bright, too, and then he hears a voice.
"Jesse."
He recognizes it instantly and moves to it as to a source of warmth, of light, and that is, after all, who this voice belongs to, a source of warmth and light.
"Aunt Jenny," Jesse whispers, unable to blink because he might miss her, but there she is – the pretty brunette in her 50's, a kind smile and the same deep blue eyes as Jesse. The woman who'd stay up nights playing Trivial Pursuit with Jesse, praising him every right answer, who'd glow with pride about her useless nephew because Jesse's so kind, I'm so lucky to have him, he's a wonderful boy. Who had loved him unconditionally, who'd chased the possum with him around the house, trying to flush it out, laughing all the while before giving up and calling the exterminator, before being insistent that it was still there and giving it a name, the woman who'd left Jesse her house because You need a home, Jesse – everything else you can get in time, everything else will fall into place but you always need somewhere where you can come home and know that it's yours.
Jesse whips his arms out and clings to her, burying his head in her shoulder.
"Jesse," Aunt Jenny repeats, rubbing his back gently. "What brings you here so soon?" The words are said without judgment, just some surprise and curiosity. Jesse slowly lets go and pulls back, his eyes full of tears.
"Got hit by a car," he replies. "I think." Jenny nods.
"I've seen. Your Mr. White is waiting for you to wake up." Jesse looks surprised.
"Mr. White's there in the hospital?"
"He hasn't left since you've been admitted." Jenny reaches out and takes Jesse's hand in hers. "He cares for you very much."
"I know he does," Jesse replies, but he isn't sure – just doesn't want to argue, not now.
"There's some folks who want to see you," Jenny says, hugging her nephew again. "Come with me?"
She leads him by the arm he loses track of the distance in favor of just relishing the feeling of being touched with affection – the last time had been… when… when Mr. White had hugged him after Jane… after…
He finds himself jerked out of his thoughts by the fact that he is now staring at some sort of stage.
At first, he can only make out blurry outlines – a tall, pudgy man dressed in a pure white suit (with a top hat and black cane) flanked by two women, one with long, silky blonde hair and the other with short black hair. Each has one elbow on one of the man's shoulders.
Jesse recognizes the man first, but doesn't have time to think about it as he sings out (for, Jesse realizes, he somehow caught them in the middle of a musical number):
"One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother…"
The two girls – Jesse recognizes the black-haired girl, now, as she comes into view, how could there have ever been any doubt? – lean in on either side of the man and chime:
"It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city!"
There's a twirl of the cane and the man, the ringmaster, almost, sings back:
"Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town…"
The girls are dressed in white too, bright white, dresses like the ones Jesse has seen in old movie musicals of the thirties that his aunt used to watch.
"Tea, girls, warm, sweet
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite…"
It's hard to distinguish one voice from another as they sing it out; they blend together like he's listening to a recording. The man, too, has near perfect pitch, and Jesse wonders aimlessly if he had it in life, had it before.
"Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine…"
The girls move into a two-person chorus line, kicking their legs out before surrounding the man, darting past Jesse as they continue, almost as if they don't see him, and he wonders if it's all an illusion and maybe they really don't.
"One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me…"
The blonde girl grabs Jesse, pulls him in, swings him and now he's staring into two faces he thought he'd never see again, and one of those he never wanted to see again.
She twirls him, dips him as the voice resumes:
"Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
Muddy old river or reclining Buddha
And thank God I'm only watching the game - controlling it –
I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you
So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlours…"
There's a big finish of sorts, and Jesse's being moved like a marionette, dancing though he wants to run, wants to flee.
"One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me!"
Jesse is gently tossed against the wall, and the two girls fall to their knees, supporting the man's arms as they finish the song. The black-haired girl rises, flashing a huge smile in Jesse's direction.
"Hi, Jesse," Jane says as she reaches out and cups his face in her hand. "How are you?" Jesse opens his mouth, but he can't respond. "It's been too long," she continues then gestures behind her. "Oh, and Jesse – I believe you already know Gale."